Well, the time has come for a change. After a couple of years of telling Secret Origins off and on. I’ve decided to expand the scope of the column, hence the name change. If you’re familiar with comics at all, using The Brave and the Bold as a title usually equates to team-up stories. This is true, but potentially any retro-comic can be reviewed here, even if the initial focus is going to be team-ups. For the inaugural column, I decided to use the World’s Finest team of Superman and Batman… and Robin. So travel back in time with us to 1956, and then even further back to the 17th century with The Three Super-Musketeers!

The story begins innocently enough, at the Gotham City Historians’ Convention. There, Dr. Carter Nichols announces his intent to solve the riddle regarding the identity of the Man in the Iron Mask! For some reason, Clark Kent of the Daily Planet is there to cover the convention. Knowing of Nichols reputation and previous work with Batman and Robin, he decides to pay the Dynamic Duo a visit. After a quick exchange of pleasantries  we find that Nichols actually plans to send Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson back in time using a combination of his miraculous time-ray. You laugh, but it’s better than his original method using hypnosis…

Travelling unprotected in the time vortex. Not even The Doctor does that!

Before you can say “Holy convenient plot device, Batman!” The trio find themselves in 17th century France near the prison of Pignerol. I kind of admire this story in two conflicting ways. It gets a lot of facts right, but it also isn’t afraid to eschew them in favor of a fun story. Speaking of, barely after they get their bearings, the World’s Finest team comes across D’artagnan and the other Three Musketeers (but not before they switch to their costumes. It may be 16-something or other, but you’ve got to protect your secret identity). This meeting turns out to be most fortuitous, seeing as the musketeers are severely injured from their latest scuffle with the villainous Bourdet. Batman, ever the tactical mind, has a cunning plan. He has the musketeers disrobe and suddenly the titanic trio are stand-ins for Athos, Porthos, and Aramis! Just in time too, as they are beset by Bourdet’s men. Thankfully, these aren’t ordinary musketeers being faced!

Because OF COURSE Batman is an expert fencer!

Not to be outdone, Superman welds the two disarmed swords with his own using heat vision to route the rest of the brigands. In the aftermath, our heroes find out that the musketeers were actually trying to rescue the Man in the Iron Mask when they were injured. Not leaving anything to chance, Batman asks straight out who the Man is. According to D’artagnan, it’s none other than Count Ferney! Batman, throwing causality to the wind offers to help D’artagnan prove his claim, after the real musketeers are given refuge.

In the meantime, we meet Bourdet, who does not believe the Super-Musketeers could possibly have done what his men say. He is about to find out though, as our band of buck-swashlers arrive at the castle. Superman takes point, and it’s a good thing, because…

Too bad Kryptonite didn’t exist in the 17th century!

Naturally, Superman tears through the iron as if it were paper. That doesn’t stop Bourdet’s men though, bless ’em! Having no idea what they’re up against, they charge the (literal) Man of Tomorrow with pikes. As expected, this doesn’t work either, but at least we get a great exchange from Batman and Robin…

Batman’s outright shut-down of Robin makes me laugh out loud every time.

Bourdet is a wise man, however. Seeing that his forces are ridiculously outmatched, he does the only thing he can, bring out the Man in the Iron Mask as a hostage! Before surrendering, Superman decides to take a peek under the mask, but wouldn’t you know it, the thing is lined with lead. Anyway, being the noble heroes that they are, the super-musketeers surrender and allow themselves to be chained while the castle is set to ground with explosives. Bourdet and his entourage get away with their prisoner and make their way to greener pastures…

“In an Emergency”? Silver Age Superman always finds an excuse to tunnel.

After the danger has passed, the Super-Musketeers use their recollection of history and logically assume that the Man in the Iron Mask is about to be moved to the Bastille… where he’s destined to die. Superman won’t accept that they are destined to fail saving this man, while Batman can’t believe history can be changed. Even though this is a 50’s story, and they aren’t quite the same characters today, it’s nice that the World’s Finest heroes still have differences. Moving on, Superman indeed spies the prisoner in the Bastille. Rather than just rescue him, Batman suggest that Superman stay with the prisoner while he and Robin try to convince the king of Bourdet’s guilt. A solid plan by Batman, even though Superman could get to Versailles to grab the king and be back in like, 3 seconds.

Regardless, it’s the Dynamic Duo on their way to have an audience with the king. Being mere mortals, they are of course chased by Bourdet’s men. I would love to explain how they throw their pursuers, but I don’t think words could explain how insanely absurd it as well as the visual…

I love that you can explain any crazy shenanigans like this with two words: “He’s Batman!”

With the bad guys bamboozled, the Caped Crusaders make it to the royal palace easily, and to gain egress to the King’s chambers is easy as pie, what with a royal banner hanging outside his window. A quick wall-climb later and our heroes are face to face with the king. Unfortunately, he mistakes them for assassins (What would you think if two masked men entered your bedroom through the window?) and tries to run them through. The King is a better leader than a fighter though, as he knocks himself out on his chamber door. Batman has a plan though, and it combines both his considerable skills as well as his penchant for exchanging clothes with people.

Does anyone else think Robin has done this before?

Not wasting any time, Batman (as the King) sets the royal carriage off to the Bastille, full speed ahead. Bourdet has spies everywhere it seems, as one of his lackeys sends a carrier pigeon to take care of the Man in the Iron Mask before his innocence can be proven!. Quick cut to the Bastille, and that’s exactly what’s going on (carrier pigeons were apparently cheetah-quick). The bad guys proceed to flood the prisoner’s cell…

Those red boots tell me you’re probably incorrect, Monsieur Bad Guy.

So yeah, it’s obviously Superman in the Iron Mask, but that doesn’t deter Bourdet’s men from trying to kill him. You have to admire that kind of loyalty in a henchman. After multiple attempted murders, such as suffocation, impalement, and good old-fashioned roughhousing, Superman sees his companions arriving and takes care of business. By this time, the King, still in Batman’s costume has come to, and the sordid tale is spelled out for him. Count Ferney is safe, but what of history’s account of the Man in the Iron Mask dying in the Bastille? Well, it looks like the king is into ironic punishment.

Time Travel: It always wraps up nicely, except for when it doesn’t.

With the adventure over and the real musketeers recovered from their injuries, it’s time for our heroes to be drawn back to the “present” of 1956. They are still in costume however, so as they are fading back into the timestream, Batman orders everyone to change clothes (told you he was into it). Meeting back with Dr. Nichols, the trio fills him in on the “true” story of the Man in the Iron Mask (albeit with super-heroics omitted).

“Hey Dick, speak up, I don’t think they heard you in Versailles!”

And so there you have it. A pretty fun tale, if not entirely accurate. I’m not going to go into who the Man in the Iron Mask really was (“Eustache Dauger“), but I will give the story props. There may or may not have really been a Count Ferney, even though if he did exist, he didn’t have much to do with this tale. What is kind of interesting (to me) is that in today’s France there is a part of Geneva called Ferney-Voltaire, where the author Voltaire lived, and he was the one who first established the prisoner had an iron mask. Anyway, join me next time when I’ll regale you with a tale just as fun, but maybe without as much history behind it!

This story originally appeared in World’s Finest Comics #82, May-June 1956. It has been reprinted various places, notably the Greatest Team-Up Stories Ever Told, World’s Finest Archives Vol. 1 and Showcase: World’s Finest Vol.1.