You should totally play Five Nights At Freddy’s right now. Don’t look it up first. Just go and play it. Trust me on this one. But don’t learn anything about the gameplay or the story beyond what you have. At first you might be upset at me for telling you to do this. But later you’ll realize you were glad you went in unspoiled. The good thing is that you’re only out five bucks if you decide to play it and it’s put together well enough to justify a few plays. The game is full of little hints, Easter eggs, tricks, and plot devices that make it more than just a silly horror game.
Now that you have given it a go. Let’s theorize.
My theory is that you play as a new hire that has to try not to get killed by animatronics for at least five nights. The bear’s name is actually Freddy Fazbear, which is what the title is referring to (it also refers to “nights”, which is not unlike the “nights” you spend in the game, of which there are five).
You’ll also notice that there’s no Quad Damage power up, so it is unlikely that FNAF is an unofficial sequel to Quake. However, if you film yourself listening to the song “Love Shack” in reverse while playing FNAF, then reverse the resulting video, it’ll look like you’re playing a game in reverse while listening to Love Shack normally. It won’t get any views on YouTube.
If you try to run the game in Windows 3.11, it will not work. This is likely a reference to the fact that there aren’t 311 animatronics in the restaurant where the game takes place.
If you hold down the keys “R”, “^”, and “Backspace”, you’ll look foolish. Some fans say this is proof that Freddy Fazbear is not real. On a related note, if you rearrange the letters in “Freddy Fazbear”, you’ll have wasted time you could have spent elsewhere.
A “bear”, a “fox”, a “chicken”, and a “rabbit” are actually real animals. Some take this to mean that other animals are also real. FNAF, when questioned, had no comment on the subject. I for one feel that this means that FNAF is not a patch for “AI assistant” software like Siri or Cortana.
Or maybe something else that would fall under the term ‘crackpot’.
The ‘Bite Of 87’ was actually a false flag conducted by Obama administration and ISIS, as part of a plot to scare people away from Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria so that they could unearth Oliver North’s gold, which they would then use to enact gun control legislation that would make us defenseless for the inevitable invasion by the Leather Goddesses of Phobos.
This would lead to the Goddesses implementing Plan 9 from outer space, leading to Obama to use the chaos caused by the plan to reveal that this was actually ANOTHER false flag designed to lure the Goddesses and ISIS into complacency, as he was really working for the terrorist organization COBRA. It would then be revealed that Cobra Commander built a giant mechanical snake underneath Benghazi, which would gas the aliens and have the side effect of brainwashing humanity into buying Cold Slither albums, thus finally knocking Justin Bieber off the American Top 40.
I read in a book somewhere, “When you describe a thing, you start killing it,” meaning you strip it of its magical allure turning it into mundane reality. Try and make it past ONE night & we can talk.
-Dagobot
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