I remember the grease spot that formed in my robo-undies the first time I saw Sub-Zero pull Kano’s spine out of his neck hole. Despite Mortal Kombat’s retarded character design, equally retarded special moves and the super-retarded graphics, splash a bucket of blood into my 12 year old eyes and all was forgiven.

Needless to say, the novelty wore off when I turned 12 and a half, but apparently they still kept making them.

Anyway, huff that Sharpie, crank up Korn’s greatest hits and get a load of this.