Indiana Jones and the Curse of the Glitchy Lego Game: A Review

So, as a robot father, I was given the new Lego Indiana Jones video game for Father’s day. This was quite a thoughtful gift as most of you who read this site all full well know that I am something of a Lucas and Spielberg nerd.

I’ve been a big fan of the 3 previous Lego Star Wars games (the Prequel Trilogy, the Original Trilogy and the Saga Edition) and was chomping at the bit to get this game. The long and short of the game is that it’s fun and the puzzles are a little more sophisticated than in the Star Wars games. Which is good for single player but makes an enemy of your co-player, more-so if your co-player is under seven years of age. (Come on, you’ve all played Lego Star Wars with someone and it always causes preposterous amounts of frustration. It’s worse with a kid, trust me.)

The game is exactly what you’d expect out of a Lego game with two glaring exceptions.

First: I don’t think they beta-tested this game. Jesus. This is the buggiest game I’m ever played in my life. During the truck chase for the Ark in Raiders, my characters (Sallah and Indy) spent 30 minutes standing on top of a speeding truck across a continuous loop of countryside because the game didn’t recognize the commands to climb into the truck and hit the gas. After trying every possible button and move permutation I could think of, I spent 20 minutes trolling sites like GameFAQ’s looking for some direction for how to get into the God damn truck.

Finally I assumed something must be wrong and so I restarted the level (which sucked since the truck chase is the last stage of the level and comes after a boss battle) and then played through instantly without incident.

Temple of Doom had a frustrating moment or two with Willie Scott who’s special power is to shriek so loud she shatters glass (no lie) but other than that it played fine.

The real problems started during The Last Crusade. Remember the part of the movie where Indy’s Dad scares the birds into the airplane? Well, finishing that level froze my Wii. Seriously, it stopped on a horrible high-pitched tone and wouldn’t even let me use the home button.

So I started over, figuring my problem would be once more solved by restarting the level.

3 times I ended up having to go through the level, each time with the same result.

I could go no further.

I took the game back in case it was just my copy, but my experience with it was such that I haven’t even put it back in the Wii since I got the new copy.

I’m sure I’ll get back to it, though. It was fun.

You should just beta-test your fucking games before you put them on the market.

What’s that, you say? The second glaring omission? Oh, yes.

Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is not included. This is the “original adventures”. Which is pretty stupid since this game came out AFTER Crystal Skull. If they needed to take the time to add 5 more levels and beta-test the whole thing, they should have done it. As it is, you all know we’re going to end up two years from now with Lego Indiana Jones: The COMPLETE Adventures.

And we’re all going to have to buy it.

Jeez.