Normally I’m a great defender of “Teen Wolf,” because it has a lot of the things I love and require in my top television shows. Supernatural creatures, great characters, snappy dialogue … but the first half of season five has been a poor representation of the show formerly known as “Teen Wolf.”
For the remainder of this recap of the midseason finale, “Status Asthmaticus,” I will think of “Teen Wolf” as a different name. Let’s say it’s called “Slo-Mo Wolf.”
This season has been really un-fun to watch, for reasons that were all present during the lackluster episode. Slo-Mo Wolf has featured exactly that – many many many shots in slow motion, which, used effectively, can be powerful. But in the case of season five, they are so common I have been tempted to watch the show in fast forward just to get things to a normal speed.
The other thing the show has turned to is the dreaded ambiguity and thinly spread plot that reminds me a bit of “Pretty Little Liars,” where nothing makes sense and things you’re supposed to be impacted by are difficult to remember. There was a book that was supposed to be helpful? But that didn’t make sense. There were Dread Doctors, who barely made an appearance in the episode. There was the Desert Wolf sub-plot that I don’t care about at all. There were many many new characters introduced, killed and then – tonight – resurrected.
What?
And worst of all, the characters barely have a relationship anymore. Stiles and Malia are supposed to be dating but have hardly looked at each other in eight episodes. Kira left town. Scott and Stiles are fighting. Liam is getting too much attention, and his cute girlfriend, while cute, is too new of a character to stir much emotion. The only person whose happiness I’m really concerned with at the moment is Melissa McCall, who actually saved the day.
It’s a shame to me when a really fun supernatural show starts off as a treat and turns into a dramatic, dragging, dark disaster of too much buildup for no payoff, too many characters nobody likes and trying too hard to bring their heroes down. They’re werewolves, werecoyotes, banshees, kitsunes and #voidstiles (whatever that is) – their lives are hard enough. Let them play lacrosse.
The Big Reveals of the episode were that Theo is evil AND a chimera, the answer to #whatisparrish and that Tracy, Hayden, Donovan and that fourth guy whose name I can’t remember because he wasn’t significant enough have been brought back to life to serve as Theo’s pack. Scott died, but he’s back. Hayden died, but she’s back. Lydia and the Sheriff are in peril but most likely okay. Kira … ???
My point is, nothing in this episode made me think “wow I cannot wait for the second half of season five.” It made me think “wow I am going to go re-watch season 3 because this show used to be really fun.” The only major high point was that they finally revealed Parrish to be a humanoid version of a Hellhound (weird, but cool) and I can finally update my Teen Wolf fanfic.
Best Line
“I’m dating Malia now.” –My Sister, upon witnessing the total lack of spark or communication between Stalia