Saturday Morning Cartoon! ‘The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers’

..

THE ADVENTURES OF THE GALAXY RANGERS, Episode 14 “Progress” (8 out of 10) – Created by Robert Mandell; Written by John Rawlins; Starring Jerry Orbach, Bob Bottone, and Laura Dean. Originally aired October 23, 1986.

Long before the “Guardians of the Galaxy” took the world by storm on the big screen, a different group protected the interests of our corner of the universe… these are “The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.”

Galaxy Rangers feels like the animated love child of “Star Trek” and “Firefly,” it probably borrowed from one and pre-dates the other. In short, the story’s beginning involves the arrival of a pair of benevolent aliens to the Earth in search of allies willing to help them fight against the evil Crown Empire and their leader, Queen of the Crown. The two aliens then provide humanity with the knowledge required to build a hyper drive as a show of gratitude. Essentially, First Contact with a good dose of interplanetary war and oppression mixed in, you know, the usual kids fare.

Once humanity acquires this technology they (we) do the obvious thing and use it to explore the cosmos, establishing colonies and outposts along the way. In the course of humanity’s explorations it is discovered that the Crown Empires is not the only threat to truth, justice, and the… Earthian way… though they are a contender for biggest galactic thorn in our side. Rather than ask them where we can sign up for some interstellar pillaging like we would actually do, probably, an elite team of space cowboys are assembled to protect the interests of Earth and its allies, and thus the Galaxy Rangers were born.

If that isn’t enough to suck you in, prepare to be amazed, I think. Today’s episode includes a pair of telepathic intelligent (more so than usual) dolphins. Move over Rocket Raccoon. The dolphins intercept a distress call from a distant planetoid and go into a full on frenzy until the Rangers arrive to see what’s got their blow holes puckered. They explain (in ridiculous but forgivable high pitched voices) that some serious business is happening and only they can stop it. Since the Galaxy Rangers are in the business of exactly that, they take off without delay.

While en route they discover that the planetoid in question is almost entirely covered in water, with only one major land mass and it’s giving off readings of some pretty heavy pollution, so they hit the surface, breaking into two teams, to investigate. What happens next is a mix of things wacky, beautiful, and fun. Check it out.

And while you’re at it, let this be a lesson to us all, when the fateful day finally arrives that we do achieve the capability to travel the stars, let us use it not to spread tyranny, war, and the worst parts of humanity. Let us instead use it to become a kick ass force of exploring space cowboys hell bent on making the galaxy awesome.

Cheers.

“Progress” Part 1.

“Progress” Part 2.