Friends and neighbors, I don’t know if I can do a weekly review of the “Teen Wolf.” The reason is not due to my age, one that would seemingly render me completely out of touch with the goings on of Beacon Hills. Nor is it because the show is void of character, wit, or suspense. It’s got all of those things. Ne, it is simply because my review every week would be “DAMN THAT WAS FUN,” peppered with “Stiles is really funny.”
So instead I will give a short, spoiler free recap that will allow the new viewer to seamlessly join in the fun, and hopefully will provide some squeeing points for the established fan. Stay tuned after my recap for the super special weekly feature.
Last night, Isaac opened the show on the back of a motorcyle being driven by an extremely accomplised female driver. She was trying to elude the new kids in town – twin wolves (who are reminiscent of a younger, weirder Taylor Lautner) who have a really cool werepower. Like, really cool. Isaac and new girl survive with terrible injuries and end up in Beacon Hills General where it’s implied that Scott McCall is kind of a big deal. Allison is back in town, and Scott tries to get a tattoo to celebrate the fact that he neither called nor texted her all summer (Teen Wolf, guys), but it just won’t take and his wolfen skin rejects the ink. In search of more permanence, Scott looks for help where he always finds trouble – to Derek Hale. Turns out werewolves can be tattooed your garden variety blowtorch. Like, it doesn’t even have to be mystical. Meanwhile, a pack of alphas are in town – yeah, I don’t really get it either but who cares – and they have grody toenails and a bone to pick with Derek. Shocking. Oh, and Lydia has been at the epicenter of several bizarre animal meltdowns because you guys seriously I know she is no longer totally human but they just won’t tell us what she is (other than a sexually empowered female character who is not referred to as a slut and oh my god I can’t believe Mtv is the one doing it right)!!!
And now, your weekly Grumpy Derek.
