REVIEW: American Horror Story: Asylum 2.8 – “Unholy Night”

This. THIS is what I want “American Horror Story: Asylum” to be!

A cold open that involves Ian McShane shooting a Santa in cold blood? Satire that aims to do more than shock the easily shocked? Well, props to you, American Horror Story!

This episode was full of quiet horror and characters doing things that made sense, yet still offered twists that even I, the hardened grumpy viewer, did not see coming. The loose strands of hair in cheery red ribbons and half sets of dentures on the Christmas tree were brilliant and left me feeling uneasy. I applaud the restraint it must have taken to use only one large blood spatter on a greasy Santa playing with a train set instead of drenching him and throwing in a crown of thorns for good measure. The story that accompanied Arden’s gift to Demon!Eunice was nothing short of depraved and appalling, and be it from Cromwell’s matter of fact performance or the taboo nature of the subjects (genocide and poo) it does not matter. It worked.

Mm. Speaking of the crown of thorns. I have to say; yea tho’ I have missed several parallels and metaphors, I still prefer that they don’t smack me upside the face. Did Leigh (McShane) really need to make the live or die/naughty or nice comparison out loud? Did Jude really need to be literally leaning on a saint while talking to Dr. Arden? Yes, I am complaining, but it’s all in the spirit of fairness. McShane’s performance was slightly less bat-turd crazy that I would have preferred, and the presentation of a large pointy glass ornament to the patients was nothing less than laughable (“oh, that’s gonna escalate quickly”), but there was far more awesome than awful this week. Sister Jude did not return in the beast mode for which I had hoped, but each week a new event occurs that brings her closer to a full on snap of martyrdom.

The twists! I am a bit under the weather tonight and was completely blindsided by a couple of surprises. I am wont to credit the writing and performances rather than my malfunctioning brain parts, as my jaw actually dropped twice this evening. I want it to continue. Most of my fellow viewers had Monsignor Howard pegged as the uber-villain from episode two, but quickly changed our minds. The writing tonight has again made me question my side because it could honestly go anywhere from here. Last season rewarded us with a wonderful twist, and I hope the show can pull it off again. But I have to make a minor complaint of the show’s accidental telling instead of showing: If Lana isn’t pregnant I will eat not one but both of my black high-top Chuck Taylors (also, ugh, next week’s episode is called “Coat Hanger”). And I am still calling “shark jump” on this alien business.

The show is not taking a winter hiatus, which leaves me something to fill my Walking Dead/Supernatural void, and I will try to return to the show next week with a brand new attitude. This was such a fun and well done episode. Fair warning, though: The preview did not leave me doing cartwheels for the return of Dylan McDermott.