Head’s up: There are only very MINOR spoilers in this first section. MAJOR spoilers are posted way below in white text.

“You’re not supposed to leave the island”. – John Locke to Jack Shepard in “There’s No Place Like Home”

When writers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse teased about the mind-bending 3rd season finale’s “flash forwards”, they called it “The Rattlesnake in the Mailbox”.

They’re calling the end of tonight’s episode “The Frozen Donkey Wheel”. From what I can tell you, they’re being very, very literal.

Last week’s episode was part one of a three part conclusion to a season that has been full of twists and turns and a full-on euphoria of great writing and brilliant performances. “Lost”, indeed, stands alone on network TV. Time travel, flash-forwards, smoke monsters, hidden hatches, ghosts and spirits, genocide, and cryptic numbers alone sound like an “Indiana Jones” sequel, or at worst, a cheesy sci-fi novel. But Lindelof and Cuse have pulled it off somehow. And we ain’t seen nothing yet…

We saw the Oceanic 6 come home, Jack attend his dad’s funeral, Jack learn that Claire was his sister, Sayid finds Nadia, Hurley sees the numbers in his car and starts to go crazy, Kate adopts Aaron and is pursued by the law, Sun takes over her menacing dad’s business, Jin is “dead”, and Sawyer, Locke, Ben, Desmond, Michael, etc are no where to be found and no where mentioned. Where are they? When are they?

Back in time, Keamy is planning a genocide of the entire island, Locke and Ben end up at the “Orchid” in order to “move the island”, Sayid is rafting people to the freighter, Claire is still M.I.A., Alpert (eye-shadow man) and the “others” show up out of no where, and Desmond, Jin, and Michael are in a room with a very large bomb.

Quick, non-spoiler theory of mine: Ben and Locke are brothers. Both of there mother’s name was “Emily”. John’s mom was in her teens when he was born in the 50s, Ben’s mom was in her 30’s when he was born in the 70s. They come from the same blood and were “chosen” and/or “anointed” and thus watched over and guided by the Dharma Initiative. Also, I think Alpert is an original member of Dharma and thus the Initiative continues.

But I digress… Ok. If everyone is going to the freighter and suddenly there’s a bomb on board, doesn’t mean bad times? I don’t think Michael and Co. are going to be able to diffuse a bomb the size of an engine room. So then what?

Also, who’s in the coffin from season 3? And what about the four-toed statue? And how did the Black Rock end up in the middle of the jungle? Oh, and what would have happened if Desmond had never left his post and thus caused the crash of 815? That was a mistake that Desmond made. And we all know, he’s been slowly going back in time and “correcting” his mistakes… Hmmmmm….

“The Universe has a way of course-correcting itself”. – the creepy jewelry store lady to Desmond during his travel back in time in “Flashes Before Your Eyes”.

Ok, Ok, I could go on for hours. Let’s maybe have a “Lost” round table after tonight’s episode?

NOW (unconfirmed) SPOILERS:

SERIOUSLY:

SPOILERS BELOW:

AND. HERE. WE. GO.

HIGHLIGHT TO SEE ‘EM:

-John Locke is in the coffin.

-Ben visits Jack in the funeral home and tells him “we have to take Locke’s body back to the island”. Supposedly, to “resurrect him”.

-We see what happens right after the “We have to go back!” flash forward from last season.

-Michael dies.

-The chopper carrying the O6 is losing fuel and so Sawyer sacrifices himself by jumping out into the open ocean. He kisses Kate first and then disappears.

-“The Frozen Donkey Wheel” is literally a huge, frozen wheel that “moves” the island.

-Ben kills Keamy.