The KGB and Politburo built me during the Cold War. They also forgot to change my programming once it was over. Maybe I’m being paranoid or maybe its my Stalinism chip. Now I have this unstoppable drive to have the best and newest technology to replace my old outdated parts and continue to out pace the West.

First thing you need when spying on the Capitalist whores is a way to communicate with the motherland. My communications device stopped working once the Berlin Wall came down, and now I have the chance to make it better. We all know that the iPhone is Tsar right now but the newest one is having its fair share of problems.

While Apple irons out its problems all the other companies are trying to be the first to be a true competitor. Verizon has jumped into the touch screen market with phones from LG and the Samsung Glyde (which I will skip right over because it sucks horribly). The LG Dare is the best and brightest from Verizon and switches things up by aiming more at fun than at business like the Iphone and Sprint’s Samsung Instinct. It has a 3.2 Megapixel camera and can record high speed video and play it back in slo-mo and honestly who doesnt love some slo-mo? It also has a copy and paste function, something that is severly missing from other phones. This phone should definitely be and option for people who don’t want to shell out for the Iphone or don’t want to be stuck on AT&T.

T-Mobile is dragging ass on the touch screen market but are making up for it by having the T-Mobile Shadow. Its your PC in your pocket. It runs Windows and with a MicroSD card you can throw an NES emulator on it and play Contra while your doing surveillance on the Capitalist whores at the mall, school, or sitting on your shiny metal ass at home.

Samsung and LG seem to be dueling it out to be the first to grab up Apples market share and so far LG seems to be pulling ahead, Samsungs touch interface doesnt work as well and they try to mimic the Iphone while LG takes its own spin on things and picks up some of the slack in other areas. But in the world of cell phones by the end of the year we’ll have a new load of awesome new phones to supplement our hardware.