This report has been filed from a new friend I met at Celebration V, and she’ll be filing reports for us from Dragon*Con shortly as well. She goes by Scarlett Ro’Botica and is a very wonderful, attractive young fembot.

During Star Wars Celebration V, there was a phenomenon called “Star Wars Speed Dating” that occurred. Apparently, they got a whole bunch of single Star Wars fans of both sexes and tried to hook them up and this is her report:

Does true love exist in a galaxy far, far away? Many hopeful Star Wars fans hoped the Force was with them when they attended a speed dating session at Star Wars Celebration V, recently held in Orlando, Florida.

Myself included.

I wore a floral print dress to stand out from the crowd (since my slave Leia costume was inconveniently at the dry cleaners), and the women were allowed into the room and briefed by a man bearing an uncanny resemblance to Anakin Skywalker. He warned the participants not to reveal personal information and that matches would receive phone numbers or email addresses at the end of the two-hour session.

Once the guys entered, disco-style Star Wars music began playing, and the flirting began. Every three minutes a new geek appeared before me, and I asked questions such as “What is your favorite Star Wars movie?” and “Who is your favorite character?” Points were deducted when they said Boba Fett (not very original) or added if they chose an EU character (Thrawn and Dash Rendar were mentioned). The most important question, however, became “Where do you live?” One gentleman came all the way from Canada looking for Star Wars love. That’s a little too much of a commute for a gal from the southeastern United States, but I found him charming.

I did engage in a rather interesting and revealing conversation with a 501st hopeful about how stormtroopers go to the bathroom. Apparently it involves a codpiece and some sort of slit in the pants, like regular briefs or boxers. Fascinating. I think the conversation was turning him on.

However, a couple of guys weren’t even fans of the films—they were attending because their buddies dragged them along. I suppose they were just looking for a warm place to put their lightsabers for the weekend. After two hours of screaming over the music and the other love hopefuls in the room, my voice was hoarse, I was tired, and I hadn’t felt a single spark. Most of the guys seemed very nice, though, and I wrote down the numbers of six that I could imagine chatting with over a cup of coffee or blue milk. Likewise, several men wrote my number down, indicating an interest.

Glancing at the sheets at the end of the session, it was easy to tell that some individuals were far more popular than others. I can only imagine that the woman with the newly acquired Rebel and Imperial tattoos emblazoned above her breasts was quite popular with the fanboys. I think I was a little in love with her, too.

Interestingly enough, I had much better luck in the food court on the first day. I sat at a table and befriended several nice men, and one even happened to be from my own state. My conclusion? I can look back and say I tried (no, I DID) Star Wars speed dating, but the Force was not with me.