A lonely Star Trek fan (is there any other kind?) has posted a personal ad on Craigslist looking  for two women to come roleplay with him. On the plus side, he has his own replica bridge and shuttlecraft in his mom’s garage, and he promises “No nudity, no touching… Nothing weird is going to happen.”

To quote a common internet meme: Seems Legit. (also, h/t to @Mandybu for bringing this to our attention!)

Also, he “[doesn’t] mind if your costume isn’t terribly authentic,” just as long as it is from Star Trek: The Next Generation and not The Original Series (more on this later). So on face value he may just be a socially awkward guy who wants some lady Trekkies to come over and help him act out his fan script, which he says involves being stuck on a shuttlecraft.

Yeah. Because those were the best episodes of Star Trek, not the ones with the Borg or Romulans or Q. And nothing “weird” ever, ever happened when people got stuck in a confined space before.

Beyond the “no nudity, no touching”  and “nothing weird is going to happen” promises, there’s also this that is icing on the cake: “We won’t be filming anything it, it’s just a fun way to spend an afternoon. Maybe my mom will make lunch.” See, ladies? FREE LUNCH. Made by this guy’s mom. So, there’s that as well.

As if that wasn’t enough, there’s the possibility for… free drugs! “This isn’t paid, but I have a doctor’s prescription pad (a long story) and I can write you a prescription for basically anything you want.” So, you need some ritalin to help you cram for your finals? Just hang out with this creepy nerd in a shuttlecraft and he’ll write you a scrip for whatever you need. (And I’m sure Dr. Feelgood, er… Bashir here would never use a prescription pad to, say, order himself some roofies to slip into your “Romulan Ale.” (Labatt Blue + blue food coloring) Just don’t let Starfleet Medical know he’s doing this… amiright?

I do have to wonder about the kind of girl who might respond to this ad, especially after the diatribe he posts about Kirk and Picard:

“STRICTLY “THE NEXT GENERATION” ERA CHARACTERS AND COSTUMES. Last time someone tried TOS and it was a disaster. There will be no mixing of eras. I don’t want to hear how Captain Kirk is so great. Kirk isn’t half the Captain that Picard is, OK? Kirk is a fat chauvinist ladies man. Picard is an honorable intellectual and an excellent diplomat.”

So, ladies, set your phasers to creepy, er… stun and answer away. Free lunch, free drugs, and a lifetime of memories and regret. All you have to provide is a “stats sheet” and a picture. However, if you have your own VISOR (if your character needs it) or phaser, that is a bonus in your favor. Because surely there is going to be tough competition and rigorous screening to hang with this dude in his shuttlecraft and eat lunch made by his mother.

Original post is here, and the full text and a screen cap are below:

Make It So – m4ww – 31 (University)

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