That’s right everybody. I’m reviewing a comic “for kids.” I’m not sure why I decided to try this one but it seemed like a good idea at the time and I’m glad I did it. I’m also glad I waited a few days after reading before writing my review because my opinion on half of the book changed a good deal over the weekend.

Based on a four year old action figure line, Super Hero Squad is a different take on Marvel heroes, mostly the Avengers. It’s sort of like Muppet Babies, but the heroes aren’t actually babies, they just have a much more child-friendly art style and story. I like the aesthetic and I really like the way it’s put together like a Saturday morning cartoon (which it actually is on Cartoon Network).

The art by Marcelo Dichiara and Leonel Castellani is what it is. If you do or don’t like the look I’m not going to convince you otherwise. It’s much like the cartoon and matches it’s corresponding action figures very well. I like the colors and frenetic action that feel so much like a cartoon show. The only thing I thought odd was that when I first saw the cowboy version Dr. Doom on the cover I thought it was Cad Bane and that confused me.

Issue #11 is broken into two stories by Todd Dezago. The first features a few Marvel girls trying to show up their male counterparts. The second story, featured on the cover, is a great homage to The Magnificent Seven. I’ll do this in reverse order since I’ll be ranting heavily on the first story.

As far as a comic book designed for children goes, The Magnificent Seven is not a story I expected to see. I love that they make no bones about what they’re doing, even thinning out the fourth wall occasionally, though never actually breaking it Deadpool-style. It’s been a long time since I actually watched the movie so I don’t remember all of the characters but suffice it to say that Iron Man is the ringleader and Falcon is Britt (James Coburn). Why have Falcon be the hardass knife guy? Why not Wolverine? Funny thing, Falcon asks the same question. He doesn’t get an answer, but it works all the same. The original emo hero, gunfighter Lee, is played by Silver Surfer, who hasn’t used his cosmic power since someone was accidentally hurt in a prank. Hulk, Thor (somehow still using Norse speech while calling people varmints), Logan, and the nameless villager (at least I didn’t recognize him) round out the team. MODOK, with something much larger than a 10 gallon hat, is among El Doom’s bad guy squad. If you’ve seen the movie, you know how this ends. If you haven’t, shame on you. Read this comic or get on Netflix immediately.

The first story is where my opinion changed a little over time. For a simple Saturday morning cartoon it makes some sense. It’s definitely got some throwback to some older cartoons and even The Little Rascals. I liked it on first read, but then I made the mistake of thinking about it.

Here’s the gist: She-Hulk, Tigra and Wasp (The Squadettes), after being slighted by a news reporter, have decided they need to prove they’re as good as their male buddies. So, after using Ant-Man’s radio, they find a threat to the earth and decide to save Hulk from abduction by alien toad men. Turns out the regular cast of the Squad needs the help and here they come to save the day. Blah, blah, blah, cartoony comic stuff, and the girls prove they’re good enough to be on the team.

All that aside, what the hell? Are we still pushing these Father Knows Best-era societal tropes onto our kids? Do three super-powered women need to prove they’re not second class citizens and deserve to be on the team? Why not just have them on the team? And, to make it worse, they still need Hank’s technology to make it happen. Not only do they have to prove their worth, they have to utilize the man in Jan’s life to make it happen. You’ve now stereotyped three great heroes as being whiny girls that want their recognition and (less overtly) made them into lipstick lesbians that still need a man to change the lightbulb. Not to mention the stars of the Squad look like mysogynists who blame the government for the oversight.

This sort of sexism isn’t natural even for the comic. They could have just included the women on the team in the first place. This is basically the Avengers after all. It’s not like they have the most stable cast of characters in the comics world. Just include whoever you need on a story by story basis. If you don’t need Silver Surfer, don’t use him. If you need She-Hulk, have her on the team. You’re not teaching our children that they are important regardless of gender. You’re teaching them that girls have to show they’re good enough before they can get respect, but boys have it automatically. Thank God they didn’t decide they needed Falcon to break the color barrier first. The last thing kids (or parents) need is to have comics teaching bias.

The last thing I’ll rant on here is pretty nitpicky but I’m doing it anyway. Women in comics are known for two things, slutty costumes and oversized boobs. It’s great to see the women in the first story not being overly sexualized because it’s in the same goofy proportions as the rest of the Squad. But do they still have to have breasts larger than their heads? And where are the ugly female heroes? To be fair, that last question is bigger than just this comic.

I’ll do my recommends anyway, but frankly I think the creators need to put a little more thought into what they’re showing our kids before I suggest anyway read it. So, RECOMMENDED FOR: fans of Saturday morning cartoons, fans of old westerns, Dr. Cyborg (our resident mysogynist). NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: people trying to raise their kids outside of 1950s philosophy, people who don’t like the cartoony art style, anyone wanting prolonged storylines or depth.