REVIEW: Game of Thrones S02E09 “Blackwater”

Warning! Spoilers for S02E09 and Book #2 (A Clash of Kings) included!

The battle of the Blackwater is upon us and the pig shit is flying.

Where do I even begin? This was by far the most epic episode of the entire series thus far. HBO finally spent some money on special effects, hired a few extras, and the resulting grandeur gave this episode the gravitas the series has been painfully lacking. We begin with Davos and his son Matthos, played fanatically and effeminately by Kerr Logan, having a father and son moment in the calm before the storm. I really enjoyed the dialogue in this scene, “the royal fleet” “this is the royal fleet”, “God’s be good” “God be good, there is only one”, “I have faith in my captain.” It’s a shame they haven’t had more screen time together, it’s an even bigger shame that Matthos is a douche. Smelling like onions all the time is bad enough but having a religious child, oh the horror.

We spend the next half hour learning how those trapped in King’s Landing plan to deal with their imminent deaths. Tyrion wants to protect Shae, Shae wants to protect Tyrion. Cersei is going bat shit crazy and is feeling infanticidal. Maester Pycelle just wants to be included. Bronn and the Hound hate each other for some reason but are brothers in bloodlust so there is always time for a final drink. Varys is scared, which makes me scared, and Joffery likes his sword kissed before battle but not in the fun ‘I may never see you again, just this one time’ kind of way but a creepy Lannister ‘lick my uncles blood off my shaft’ kind of way. Sansa on the other hand keeps her shit together in true Stark style.

When the shit finally hits the fan (get it?) the resulting deluge is something to behold. With ships and sea burning, thousands battling, the episode reaches a fever pitch. Green flames mix with red, blood with mud, arrows and stones fly, and the cries! This is fantasy at its best, this is television at its best, that moment when a show transcends the small screen and makes its big screen brother proud and jealous. Cersei’s crass madness, Sansa’s stark strength, Tyrion’s desperation, Joffery’s cowardliness, and the Hound’s fire fear create a truly cinematic experience. By the time the troops are chanting ‘HALF-MAN!’ the spell is complete. My only misgiving is, how can the season’s final episode be anything but a letdown in comparison to the battle of the Blackwater?

…..well there is that thing with Sansa and the Hound, and what the hell with Tyrion’s face, and if Tywin is at King’s Landing then who is Robb fighting… oh my god this show rules!