An article was brought to my attention today, and though it’s not exactly breaking news, we here at Big Shiny Robot! decided that we should share it. Perhaps you were lucky enough to originally miss this thrilling tidbit of information, but the Dark Side is at work here, and you cannot escape this . . . this . . . blasphemy.
Moviefone posted that David Hasselhoff would like to be in a remake of David O. Selznick’s epic Hollywood triumph, Gone With the Wind.
The horror. The horror.
Whether you like the film or not, you can’t argue it’s a beloved classic, a symbol of Hollywood’s Golden Era, when movies like Casablanca and The Wizard of Oz were being produced. It also boasted a brilliant cast and some of the most memorable lines in a film. In fact, I used “Tomorrow is another day” at work today.
I can’t imagine a remake of this Hollywood classic. I’m still mad about movies from my childhood (Annie and Karate Kid in particular) being remade. WHY? What was wrong with them to begin with? And David Hasselhoff? He was ridiculous even in that bunny movie Hop that I reviewed.
Okay, fine. He was great in Knight Rider. And maybe you thought he was pretty cool in Baywatch. But that kind of um, talent, doesn’t lend itself to a role like the dashing blockade runner Rhett Butler (whom I’ve always thought very similar to that Corellian scoundrel Han Solo).
And though he didn’t even get her last name right, Hasselhoff said his ideal leading lady would be Rachel Weisz as that southern charmer/manipulator Scarlett O’Hara.
So, if you missed this news when it first broke, consider yourself informed now. I seriously doubt it’s improved your life to any degree, but hopefully it made you chuckle. Or choke. Or something.
And to tie it in to something a bit more timely, Hasselhoff’s latest acting endeavor, Piranha 3DD, was just released on Blu-Ray and DVD. Piranhas take over a water park.
No wonder his manager is urging him towards “more substantial roles,” but Hollywood needs to stop with the remakes altogether. There are too many novels that could be made into films and scripts gathering dust to keep doing the same movies over and over.
Seriously, Hollywood. Stop it.
(image from Nextmovie)