If I had anything to do with The Spirit I would be embarrassed. Frank Miller has taken Will Eisner’s classic superhero, bent him over and raped him up the ass. The result of said violation left poor Denny Colt a amalgam of uninspired postmodern noir. The Spirit, in true Frank Miller style, is filled with forcibly “gritty” dialogue, hollow romance and boring action. Miller has had a knack lately for bastardizing other creator’s characters (just read the constantly late Batman and Robin All Stars); he has spun a tacky Sin City yarn with the likeness of Will Eisner’s heroes and femme fatales that lacks any emotion and semblance of humanity. Miller can’t decide if he wants the movie to be an episode of Loony Tunes or Pulp Fiction in a ridiculous brawl between The Spirit and The Octopus so bad, that it’s beyond the point of laughing at it’s sheer absurdity. Rather than honoring the source material Miller chooses to have The Spirit go toe to toe with his arch nemesis The Octopus, where in the comic they never fight, but the biggest difference is the overblown God plot the film poses. I don’t remember The Spirit being an invincible superhuman, just an ordinary cop who faked his own death. The film obviously shows that Miller is not yet ready to direct, favoring style over content; The Spirit’s classic blue suit and fedora, white shirt and red tie is switched to a black suit, red tie and pair of Converse All Stars (a la Dwight in Sin City). In a show of pure narcissism, The Spirit is filled with Miller references, when the title character mutters “looks like he gave himself the hard goodbye” in particular, showing that Miller isn’t looking to honor the late Will Eisner’s work, but pimp out his own. I found myself asking constantly, “what the fuck was he thinking?” and the answer is simple “he was thinking like Frank Miller.” That works when he’s creating his own world filled with delightfully tacky characters that romance crime, prostitution and excessive violence; unfortunately for us movie goers and comic book aficionados it just comes off as blunt, clumsy and plain out idiotic. Have another one Frank, lord knows you must have been drunk off your ass to make a move like this.