TRASHTALK: Street Fighter – The Legend of Chun Li

Okay, because Hollywood still hasn’t caught on that video game movies always turn out to be pure shit, 20th Century Fox is revamping the Street Fighter franchise. I remember seeing the original with Jean-Claude Van Dam and Raul Julia when I was nine years old and then shitting out my intestines with embarrassment. It was a total nightmare, there was blood and partially digested food amongst all the shit and it just sucked. My family took it to court but they ruled that it was just a case of severe dysentery that was from a bacterial infection rather than from the movie itself. But, that’s neither here nor there. Well, much to every fan’s anticipation Street Fighter is back, with the legend of Chun Lee. Because after playing countless hours of Street Fighter II on Sega and then eventually Playstation, the focus of the in game mythos always lied on her as a character rather than Ryu and Ken. I do also remember Chun Lee being a mythical character, one of legend and folklore and whenever I somehow mustered up the courage and skill to play as her character I was unstoppable. But, could only do that really after learning that in order to embrace both beauty and terror you need the strength of a warrior, the stealth of a predator and the wisdom of a master. No one is quite equipped with those traits so in order to obtain them you must watch Predator; because it has the strength of a warrior (Arnold Schwarzenegger), the stealth of a predator (the Predator), and the wisdom of a master (Jessie Ventura). After absorbing all of that you will be both ready to play Street Fighter II and ready to keep your bowels in check when you go to the theaters on February 27th to see Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Lee.