The DC Extended Universe feels like it has been in disarray from the start. Starting with Man of Steel and what would become the Snyderverse, the DCEU has never quite gotten a grasp on how to handle this shared universe, and each film and iteration felt more like it was wholly self-contained instead of a moving piece in a much larger machine and story. Which isn’t to say it’s been all bad. Wonder Woman, Shazam!, and James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad have all been standouts that were not only fun but well-made in their own right. And then there’s The Flash. If there has ever been a movie that made you look forward to the end of this “era,” this is the one you’ve been waiting for. Boring and trite, it stands out with the dishonor of being not only the worst movie in the franchise but also one of the worst I’ve ever seen.
Based quite loosely on the Flashpoint comic series, The Flash follows Barry Allen (Ezra Miller) in his attempt to fix the wrongs of the past wherein his mother was brutally murdered, and his father was blamed and convicted of the crime. As his powers grow, he learns that he has the ability to time travel but is warned of its misuse by Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck) since the butterfly effect could have vast and unknown consequences. Obviously, Barry ignores this advice, and what should have been a small and harmless change made to the timeline is magnified greatly as the future is now set for destruction with the return of General Zod and no Superman or Justice League to thwart his attempts to annihilate earth.
When I have a film I didn’t enjoy, I generally do try to point out some bright spots since most of the time there are at least a few things to like, so here it is:
I laughed once.
That’s it. In a nearly two-and-a-half-hour movie, there was one brief second of entertainment that was worth watching. Everything else was so mind-numbingly bad, it’s almost difficult to figure out where to begin.
The Flash was notoriously plagued with setbacks, director changes, and Miller’s scandals that led up to its release, but this feels like a movie that would have been more at home back in the early 2000s than 2023. Everything from the special effects, to the script, and even the acting is so subpar that it would be laughable if it wasn’t so excruciatingly grating and mind numbing. I take that back; it would have been a blessing to have had my mind numbed. No one has chemistry with each other (hell, Ezra Miller can’t even drum up some with themselves), and every single plot point or twist is telegraphed so far in advance that there is no way anyone could miss it or be surprised when it finally unfolds on screen. Even the multiple cameos sprinkled throughout aren’t interesting either because they were spoiled in the trailers. This isn’t even a case of, “let’s throw everything at the wall to see what sticks,” and more, “let’s throw everything in the blender until we get primordial soup and then force feed it to the audience.”
Hell, even remembering it is making me depressed.
So that’s it. Don’t go see this. Don’t buy a ticket for another movie and sneak in. Don’t buy it when it comes to Blu-ray and 4k. Don’t even stream it when it’s for free on Max. It’s a complete waste of your life, and the only good thing to come out of it is the knowledge that the sun is setting on the DCEU, and that James Gunn will soon be in charge. If I had the power to go back in time, the first thing I would do is to ensure this movie never got made. Butterfly effect be damned, even if that action irrevocably affected the future, at least it would mean that none of us would ever have to put up with the agony of sitting through it.