Scarlett Johansson has just made the mistake of her life!

She has announced her engagement to actor Ryan Reynolds, who I find to be a horribly annoying actor. (Blade 3 was especially God-awful). I find this news particularly disparaging because I had always planned on wooing that ass myself.

I would like to clear up any confusion she might have right here on the blog. The law simply states that you shouldn’t date robots, not that you can’t.

On the positive side, she is acting in another Woody Allen movie that is due out this year called “Vicky Cristina Barcelona” and it is rumored to depict her and Penelope Cruz making out. I guess that’ll take the edge off a little bit.