I’m really not sure why I like the Predator franchise. Out of the previous 4 movies featuring the rapacious reptilian aliens, only one was really any good. And even then, the first Predator film has become more famous for catchphrases like “Get to tha choppa!” or being the only major Hollywood film to feature two future Governors of US states (see, I bet you forgot that Jesse “The Body” Ventura was in Predator or that he was Governor of Minnesota, but I digress). Predators have scared the bejeezus out of me since I was a little kid. I remember fondly the ads for Predator 2 that ran in my Chris Clairmont X-men comics and how I would quickly turn the page to not have to look at the Predator’s frightening visage. And how I would then, after screwing my courage to my 9 year old sticking place, pore over the ad and its explanation of the Predator’s impressive arsenal. And eventually i saw Predator 2 and wasn’t so much scared as… umm… bored. And despite how gawd-awful the Alien vs Predator movies were (whoever wins, we lose– indeed! 8 bucks and two hours of our lives we lose….) I went into this with somewhat low expectations.

Piquing my interest was this film’s pedigree. Specifically, the casting choices seemed interesting, and I really love the films of Robert Rodriguez (sans terrible childrens’ films that he lets his kids co-write with him), who served as producer on the film. Rodriguez’s fingerprints are apparent on the film. Apart from the obligatory Danny Trejo appearance, he also made sure some of this was filmed in and around Austin, TX.  Specifically, a nice scene filmed at what is unmistakeably McKinney Falls State Park. So, despite mine and Rodriguez’s love of Austin, was this film passable?

Absolutely. The spoiler free plot?  If you’ve seen the trailer, you can basically guess: a group of badasses, including Russian Spetznaz, US Special Forces, a mercenary, Yakuza, one of the FBI’s most wanted, a cartel enforcer, a leader of an African genocidal death squad…. and Topher Grace? are all put on a Predator game preserve and hunted.  It’s kind of like Ten Little Indians if the hunted fought back with samurai swords and big effing guns.

When the movie was action it was awesome. Great fun, lots of tension, great payoff.  When it got all talky and one of the characters conveniently knows something that helps explain the plot, it got boring. It also felt contrived and well, kind of dumb. Who cares what the hunting patterns of the Predators are, or that one of the characters was privvy to the details of what happened to Dutch in the Guatemalan jungle in 1987? It almost feels like the actors break the fourth wall and talk directly through the screen to the audience to say, “In case you haven’t been paying attention, here’s what’s going on….”  It really took you out of it because despite all the tension that had been built and the sense of impending doom, you knew that as long as exposition was happening that they wouldn’t be attacked by Predators.  Ho-hum.

But this cast does an amazing job with what they’re given.  Most of these characters are fairly two dimensional, and in the hands of lesser actors might have been forgettable. But you find yourself actually caring when one of them is killed savagely, or at least satisfied when someone’s spine and skull are ripped out in one motion.  Good times.

This film also goes off the rails when it tries to have some deeper meaning or teach us a lesson. You can tell the filmmakers figured that things were dragging when it wasn’t about people being hunted. Some either sloppy editing or sloppy scripting leads us to believe there was mucho left on the cutting room floor- for example, a subplot involving other aliens being hunted on the Predator game preserve planet. (And NO– not Aliens aliens.)

Regardless, while this is not a perfect film, it’s fun when it’s firing on all cylinders. And that is the majority of the time. If you want to see some awesome hardcore violence, lots of squirting green flourescant blood, hot Predator on Predator fighting action, and lots of exploding people and things, this is your flick.

2 1/2 stars