Star Trek Into Darkness will be hitting theaters this weekend, and it’s thrilling. And, as sad as this makes me to admit, it’s dumb as hell. JJ Abrams’ second foray into the Trek universe has a lot to say, and crams a whole bunch of ideas and half-baked conceits into its 132 minute run-time. There is a lot to like here, and quite a bit to love… But don’t think about it too much, or the movie starts to come apart at the seems. For a movie featuring a Vulcan, there is very little logic at play, and a whole lot of  because we CAN.

The movie opens on an alien world and a fun, fast paced chase. James Kirk just swiped an alien artifact to pull an aboriginal culture away from their village, giving Spock enough time to stop a neighboring volcano from erupting and killing all life on the planet. Spock gets stranded in the volcano, which leads Kirk to break the Prime Directive and reveal the Enterprise to the natives in a daring rescue. On the surface, the open is amazing: Kirk and McCoy have great rapport, Spock is suitably heroic, and we get to see the Enterprise lurking off shore in the ocean. Seeing the Enterprise rise up out of the sea is breath-taking, and the natives think so, too. After their brief glimpse of our favorite Constitution class cruiser, the locals decide to worship it as a god. This sets up Kirk being relieved of command, and is essentially the hinge the rest of the story revolves around.

Is Ryker Flying the Ship?

And it’s a mess, if you try to think about it. The Enterprise being underwater, as cool as it was, didn’t need to happen. The transporter works just fine, as do the shuttles. The film-makers created this scene merely “because they could“. As awesome as the scene plays out, any iota of thought will blow a hole right through the scene. And this is what the entirety of the movie is built around.

The first 2/3rds of the movie is great Trek, regardless of any leaps in logic we are expected to make. The villain, John Harison, is a disgruntled former Starfleet officer who masterminds a brutal act of terror in London. Benedict Cumberbatch is fantastic as Harison, full of brooding malice and cold calculation. His motives are explained thoroughly, and his desire to protect what he cherishes most is completely relate-able. He would have made a fantastic Trek villain even without the big “surprise” plot twist half way through the movie, perhaps even stronger without it.

Do you still hear it, Clarice?

The Enterprise crew is top notch as well; there is a lot of camaraderie and good will at work here, even when Spock files a report that shoots Kirk in the back. Into Darkness plays heavily on themes of friendship, brotherhood, and loyalty, effectively the glue that holds any effective Trek venture together. The cast are having a great time, and at no point do they disappoint. Carl Urban’s Doctor McCoy pretty much steals the movie, and every other actor pulls their weight in whatever capacity given. There are some great nods to Trek-gone-by, too. Christine Chapel is name-checked, Gorn are mentioned, and a Tribble makes an appearance. Trek fans during the showing I was at ate this up.

The last third of the movie, though, nagged at me horribly. It was almost as if the writers went through the “Big Book of Trek” and highlighted everything that had ever been in a Star Trek movie before, and decided to do it again. Old Trek, New Trek, you name it, they go back to it. Loved the sky-surfing scene in the first Nu-Trek movie? How about more! And longer! Ooh! Remember the scene where Enterprise comes up out of the clouds? Yeah! Do it again! And let’s not forget the Engine room scene in Wrath of Khan! People loved that! DO IT AGAIN! And they do, again and again. Because they can.

Careful with that MacGuffin, boys!

It’s really hard to hold on to the good-will that was built up over the first 2/3rds of the movie when the writers keep going back to the tried-and true. It’s also really, really tough to feel like anyone is ever in any danger. Harrison is tough and clever, but there is very little about Cumberbatch that comes across as intimidating. Peter Weller’s Admiral Marcus has some menace to him, but again… where is the danger? The size of the explosions definitely sell some threat, but you know, deep down, that everyone is going to be just fine at the end. Instead of piecing together a cohesive finale, Abrams and company went for spectacle and chest-pounding heroics. It’s all very exciting to watch, but terribly hollow by the time the end credits roll.

“Hey, this time I want to go in the radiation chamber!”

Star Trek Into Darkness is by no means a bad movie, nor anywhere near the worst Trek has to offer. I place it with Generations and the Undiscovered Country; exciting, with some glaring flaws. It’s fun Trek, but by no means Great Trek.

CitizenBot and I will be back next week to talk about Spoiler-specific parts of the movie. We thought we would be nice and give you some time, so get out and see Into Darkness this weekend!