I blame the Living Doll episode of The Twilight Zone for my irrational fear of the toys because since then, every movie from Child’s Play to Annabelle are total nightmare fuel for me. The trailer for M3GAN gave me both the willies and a laugh since its antagonist is something I have a mortal fear of and because it looked like it was aiming for tongue in cheek humor to go along with the horror. It does end up being an amalgam of the two but since it never picks one to be its foundation, it results in a Frankenstein’s Monster of a film that will leave audiences confused on what kind of reaction it was expecting.
Gemma (Allison Williams) is a brilliant toy designer who unexpectedly becomes the guardian of her niece Cady (Violet McGraw) whose parents are killed in a freak car crash. In a bid to help her deal with this trauma, Gemma creates and presents her with M3GAN – a life-size doll with a prototype A.I. that is programmed to be her closest friend. At first, the new addition to the family has its desired effect of drawing her out of her shell and letting her start to live her life as a normal kid again, but as M3GAN continues to learn and grow, her desire to protect Cady at all costs becomes more menacing and dangerous. Now, it’s only a matter of time until her programming limitations won’t be enough to stop her from satisfying her desire to live on her own terms.
Remember back at the beginning when I said how scared I should have been with this movie? Yeah, I didn’t even jump once. Me, the biggest wimp at a horror film and with one featuring something I truly dread didn’t even get a reaction out of me. Which isn’t to say that there aren’t creepy moments or that the idea of a killer doll isn’t done well, just that this is not a scary movie nor is it meant to be, and that’s where my biggest issue with it stems from.
The conceit of a murderous doll isn’t new nor is it something that M3GAN takes too seriously as this is firmly realized after she croons Cady to sleep with her own rendition of Titanium. Yes, that is a thing that happens. It’s not exactly a spoof of horror films, but it walks a drunken line between scares and laughs because it never really knows what it wants to be. It’s not that this approach can’t work – it did brilliantly with Cabin in the Woods – but it requires a much better script and filmmaker than M3GAN had which is why it feels like a letdown.
The PG-13 rating also holds it back. While this ensures higher ticket sales, a director’s cut would be welcome because I feel like a lot was left on the cutting room floor that could have fleshed out more of the story and possibly held it closer to its horror roots.
All of this isn’t to say this it’s bad. It’s fun and funny, and something that parents can feel safe taking their teenagers to see. But if you were expecting something dark and evil, you’re not going to find it. It’s entertaining but forgettable, so if you want some true horror in this genre, go break out your copies of the Child’s Play movies and watch them instead. Just don’t invite me unless you want a running commentary of high-pitched screams added throughout.