‘Jem and the Holograms’ Review

JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS (5 out of 10) Directed by Jon M. Chu, Written by Ryan Landels, Starring Aubrey PeeplesStefanie ScottAurora PerrineauHayley KiyokoMolly RingwaldBarnaby CarpenterJuliette LewisRyan Guzman. Rated PG for “thematic material including reckless behavior, brief suggestive content and some language.” Running Time 118 minutes. In wide release October 25, 2015.

As bad as the reboot/film adaptation of Jem, the 80’s cartoon show, would seem to be from its terrible marketing and explanation of concept, this isn’t nearly as bad as that.

Let’s be clear — it’s still an attempt to cash in on childhood nostalgia and to market a known property by Hasbro. But that being said, it could’ve been a million times more brazen and a hundred times worse.

What it becomes is actually a cute musing about being yourself and sharing your talents in the YouTube generation. Unfortunately, it’s unclear if that target demographic of young tweens and teens will be drawn in by a property that just celebrated its 30th birthday.

Even more unfortunate is that despite a sincere effort, good music, and a strong start and finish, this movie meanders and putters around in its middle chapters. 

In this version of the story, Jerrica and her sister Kimber live with their aunt (Molly Ringwald) in suburban California along with two adopted sisters Aja and Shana. Their idea of a good time is posting things on social media, including music videos. All except for introverted Jerrica who writes her songs in her notebook but is too shy to share them. Until she puts on a pink wig and some ridiculous makeup and records a soulful ballad, which Kimber posts on Youtube. And, of course, it goes viral, and suddenly offers start coming in.

With the family facing financial difficulty, Jerrica takes an offer from the truly deplorable Erica Raymond, (Juliette Lewis) CEO of Starlight Enterprises. What happens next is truly, truly, truly predictable. . . oh, except for the part where the movie turns into The DaVinci Code. Yeah, seriously.

It seems Jerrica’s dad before he died left her an incomplete robot (like ya do) named Synergy which suddenly turns on and starts leading her to clues to assemble its missing pieces. Oh, and the final piece, Jem’s trademark earrings, are held in a safe in Erica Raymond’s office and the movie turns into a heist flick for fifteen minutes.

Which is all really too bad how hackneyed it is. Synergy is an adorable robot who bears an uncanny resemblance to BB-8 from the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VIIL The Force Awakens And the final message he carries — a personal message from Jerrica’s and Kimber’s dad — is beautiful and touching. 

The film’s final message about being true to yourself and family and loyalty is quite touching. Taking my daughter to a screening and the bits about fathers and daughters. .  there may have been a bit of dist that got caught in my eye at that moment and my daughter may have put my arm around her shoulder.

And while Jem’s whole “I Am Spartacus” routine at the end where she tells everyone that they’re what makes Jem special is a little too treacly, it’s still a good message for impressionable tweens to digest. It’s a clarion call for everyone with a YouTube account to keep posting their songs, their poems, their art, whatever it is. And that’s a good message.

Despite a lot of good pieces, this never congeals into even something resembling the sum of its parts. It’s instead a Frankenmovie that more resembles a factory-produced and focus-group-tested boy band assembled to make the most profit rather than something organic. It’s not enough of a Jem movie to make fans of the original franchise happy.

And this movie might have been successful if it had divorced itself from its source material and stuck with a single concept. They even made the completely amateur mistake of not recording the theme song and including it in the film. Dear Director Jon Chu: Record the song and play it over a montage for the closing credits. There, I fixed it for you.

But, this movie isn’t deserving of all the hate it’s getting. It’s mediocre, but it’s a forgivable mediocre. And I think there’s a niche audience that will love this. But anyone old enough to have watched Jem in your Underoos on a Saturday morning? This is probably more for your kids than for you.

5 out of 10