In the movie, 12 Rounds, John Cena plays Detective Danny Fisher, a man who is being targeted for revenge by International Terrorist Miles Jackson. When apprehending Jackson, Fisher inadvertently causes the death of the love of his life and as soon as Miles is out of jail his first order of business is to kidnap Fisher’s girlfriend, Molly, and put him through 12 rounds of missions and tasks in order to get her back. If Fisher can complete and survive each round, Jackson will give back Molly unharmed. But what is Miles Jackson really up to?

And frankly, who cares?

This movie is about what you would expect from a WWE movie starring wrestler-trying-to-turn-action-star John Cena: bad acting, bad action, bad movie. Lucky for you, someone actually sat down and watched this, from beginning to end, and you can check out that review here.

It’s hard to believe that a man who was in prison for the last year was not only able to escape in such a short amount of time, but also plot out these elaborate, booby-trapped “rounds” for Detective Fisher to participate in all over New Orleans. But, he was able to, so we find Fisher recklessly driving all over the city in various vehicles -including a fire truck- disarming bombs, stopping trolley cars, having cheesy flashbacks about his girlfriend (flash backs all the way back to the beginning of the movie) and spouting bad one-liners. It’s one thing for an action movie to have admittedly bad one-liners in it, it’s another to have a movie full of bad one-liners about boxing (in reference to the “12 Rounds” theme) and culminate the final blow in the movie with this gem: “You lose!”