From time to time I head to the local movie megaplex with a good robot friend of mine (who I’ll call Uniballicron to protect his true identity) and do what we’ve come to call the “Double Dip.” We buy tickets to one movie, then after that’s over we stick around, switch on “stealth mode,” and sneak in to another theater to complete our double feature. I remember the first time we did it we saw “Van Helsing” and then “Shrek 2.” Let’s just say that “Shrek 2” did a pretty good job of erasing the foul memory of “Van Helsing.” It only hurts a little these days.

So recently we headed out for another attempt at “Double Dipping.” Our movies of choice? George Clooney in “Leatherheads” was first up, which we followed up with “10,000 B.C.” Clooney’s pic was so-so. Nothing to spend any time writing about. But “10KBC” was spectacularly awful and that is why I’m putting pen to paper (so to speak). I’ve warned you all! This festering piece of crap is so bad, I almost walked out to ask for my money back. And I hadn’t even paid to see it! If someone offers to take you to see this waste of film, hit them in the head, then knee them in the crotch, and when they’re on the floor, run.

I’ve done my part.