Keira Knightley, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Biel, Kate Mara and Charlotte Riley, that’s who.

Or, as I like to call them:  Pasty, Tasty, Nasty, Who? and WHO?, respectively.

Hollywood Reporter is reporting this as confirmed, so let the speculat-a-tron be engaged!

What, dear readers, does this mean?  Who do you want, who do you not want?

Here’s what we know so far:

1. Dark Knight Rises needs two (count ’em, 2!) female leads, but the characters they will be playing have not been named.

2. One will be a love interest, the other a villain.

…. and that’s pretty much it, unless you believe the rumors about a script floating out on the net.  I’m more inclined to agree with CHUD’s Renn Brown and call a big pile of BS on those rumors. BUT….

Speculation is rampant (and fans seem hungry for) an appearance by Talia al Ghul, which would dovetail nicely into Batman Begins.

Is Talia villain or love interest, or both, and the call for two leads misdirection on the part Christopher Nolan, a deception worthy of the League of Shadows?  And if Talia is just one, is she lover or villain, and then who is the other?  Catwoman/Selena Kyle?  And so BOTH would be love interest AND villain?

IN ANY CASE, who should play whom from this list?  Let’s run them down:

My choice is Anne Hathaway.  For anything.  She could read the phone book and still be fun to watch (see also: Love and Other Drugs).

Kiera Knightley is ok in my opinion, but her fake American accent is grating (there’s a reason we all forgot The Jacket).  But considering several of the actresses are British, what does that tell us about who they might be playing?  Hmmmm?  I just hope it’s a bit more Bend It Like Beckham and Pride and Prejudice Knightley and a little less Pirates of the Caribbean.

Am I right in my dismissive attitude of Biel?  I mean, did you SEE Blade 3? (Also a Goyer film, I should note).  Can anyone really make a case for why she should be on this list, other than she’s available and curvy?

Next we have Kate Mara, who everyone is saying was most recently in Iron Man 2 but I think I blinked and missed her, and was also one of the cute hiker girls from the beginning of 127 Hours.  I vaguely remember her from Season 5 of 24 (and remember her being good, for what it’s worth!) and she’s been in lots of TV and smaller movie roles. Her sister, Rooney Mara, is starring in the adaptations of the Stieg Larson’s Girl With the Dragon Tatoo American remake.

And then Charlotte Riley.  Who?  Unless you watch the BBC, you probably haven’t seen her, and I certainly haven’t seen her, especially since she is best known for being in Wuthering Heights and I HATE THAT EFFING BOOK.  She’s got an inside track, though, as she’s engaged to Tom Hardy, who starred in Nolan’s Inception and has an unnamed role in Dark Knight Rises.

So, what do you all think? I’m a little flummoxed, but a lot excited.  Looking forward to exact casting news?  Keep it here and we’ll keep you updated.