In what should come across as the least surprising news you’ve heard this week, the Spider-Man broadway musical, “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” has been postponed . . . for the fifth time. Now, instead of opening on February 7, the new date is March 15. Producers are claiming that this will be the final postponement for this show that has had pretty much nothing but problems with one aspect or another since day one.
From injured Spider-Men, to musical problems, to the producers just seemingly not able to get their “vision” on to the stage, this production has been wrought with problems – and for what? A Spider-Man musical featuring the music of U2’s Bono and The Edge? I’m sorry, but I find it hard to believe that there are just troves of people standing outside that theater because they are so excited to see Spider-Man sing? Now, before the two of you out there who have thought this idea was a good idea since day one, just let me say, “I know.” I know what the appeal is “supposed to be”. Spider-Man, live, swinging around a theater battling villains in an exciting “live movie” type atmosphere to the “rockin'” tunes of Bono and The Edge; hell, it’s even the most expensive production on Broadway ever, but does that mean we should all assume that that means if/when all the bugs get worked out it’s going to be good?
As a geek myself, I think this whole production looks utterly stupid – and I know I’m not alone. From what I have seen from pictures released and that lackluster feature on 60 Minutes this could just end up being the biggest bomb ever. Tell me, what Spider-Man fans not located in New York are going to be “big enough” of a fan to drop a couple hundred dollars for a ticket to the show, drop another several hundred for a plane ticket to the Big Apple, spend even more cash just to be in New York for a few days – all just to see Peter Parker sing about how much he loves Mary Jane, a Green Goblin who looks like a parade participant from Carnival that wandered away from the group, and a “new” villain the show’s producers made up who is named after a brand of hot chocolate and looks like a sattelite fucked a can opener and this was their illigitmate offspring? But I digress . . .
The bottom line is this: I just don’t think “Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark” is going to be as successful as all these producers think. Your average audience just isn’t going to be interested enough in seeing a show that has only been in the news for all the problems it’s had for the money and time they’d have to spend to see it. Not to mention it seems like no one even asked the question, “Do these two genres, theater and superheroes, even mesh?” Sure, all of the preview showings have sold out, but are these people going expecting to see the best broadway show of their lives, or are they going to witness the trainwreck they’ve been hearing about on the news so much out of morbid curiosity? And with a preview period that has been going on since November (which, by the way, will make this the show with the longest preview period on broadway ever once/if they open in March) by the time they show actually opens, will there be many people left that even want to see this? My guess is not that many.
Feel free to agree, disagree, or add your thoughts in the comments below!