Continuing from last week, we kind of left out story a bit unfinished. Sure, we got through Captain Carrot’s origin just fine, but we left his entire world in peril! I actually debated just leaving it like that, and any interested parties could find out on their own. I ultimately decided, “Why not continue it?”. After all, the story has not been reprinted, and the issue the story continues into has a staggering 6 origins in it (7 if you count the Captain Carrot recap)! So then, let’s dive into the second part of the first multi-part Secret Origins column with… The Secret Origin of the Amazing Zoo Crew!

The story starts where we left off last time, Superman and Captain Carrot are off to Superman’s dimension to stop the source of all of the troubles from the previous column. Before they can do that though, the two heroes spot a jetliner being bombarded by those same pesky de-evolving rays. The pilots now don’t have the know-how to fly a plane, and as Superman remarks, being an ostrich and a kiwi, they don’t know how to fly anyway. Captain Carrot steps up to save the day, still carrying a chip on his shoulder from Superman’s poor treatment of the Cotton-tailed Crusader last issue. Sadly, he miscalculates a bit and can’t catch the plane in the air. Superman tries his hand, but suffers from a bit of performance anxiety he blames on dizziness from the space barrier around Cap’s world. After alternately declaring the passengers doomed, and telling Captain Carrot he’s their only hope, he passes out or something. Although going in with a lot of trepidation, seeing as he isn’t as strong as Superman, Captain Carrot valiantly shows how he’s earned the title of hero:

Eat your heart out, Supes.

After that amazing feat, Superman is suddenly able to function normally again, and CC quickly escorts him away from the scene, as people are giving the hairless ape some funny looks. After that, both heroes do a bit more recapping which is pointless for me to also rehash. Finally they approach this mysterious barrier. Superman, who even after constant examples of how Captain Carrot can handle himself, tells Cap if the Long-eared Lagomorph can’t make it through, he’ll return after he takes care of business on Earth-1. Carrot scoffs at how arrogant it is to call your home dimension Earth-1, but is stopped short when Superman is caught like a fly in amber after attempting to breach the barrier. A second later, he disappears with a resounding “Zappt!” Captain Carrot tries to give chase by also trying to go through the barrier, but he only bounces off of it. It’s then he realizes he can’t fly and starts pummeling back to his own Earth. You’d think this’d be the end of our Buck-toothed Buccaneer, but comics don’t work that way, and we get this pretty cool splash page.

"I'll squeeze him and love him and name him George!"

I am beginning to think normal physics don’t work on a cartoon animal world, because Captain Carrot was certainly moving at escape velocity in the upper atmosphere. I’m just saying he should be a liquifed sack of carrots, if you get my drift. Thankfully he isn’t, and he relates his story to his savior, Pig-Iron. After the exposition exchange, he gets around to asking the Hoggish Hulk how he got his start. Pig-Iron is happy to oblige.

Get used to this, we still have 5 more origins to go.

So, it turns out we’re going to learn where all the rest of the meteor rocks from last issue went. If you think that’s absurd, wait until you find out why they imbue mild-mannered animal-people with powers in the first place! Anyway, introductions and origins are out-of-the-way (for now), Captain Carrot convinces Pig-Iron to help out with the barrier, but the whole “no flight” problem is still there. No big deal though, last issue Captain Carrot saw a news report about all of the heroes popping up in the last couple days! He figures at least one of them has to know how to fly, so get ready for a whirlwind tour of the United Species of America! First Stop: Mew Orleans!

And as it is in all fiction, when the new duo gets to Mew Orleans, Mardi Gras is of course going on. Captain Carrot wonders how they are going to find this supposed Alley-Kat Abra, but for the sake of the narrative, she just happens to be floating alongside the parade. Things are never that easy though, and the parade crowd is then pelted with more de-evolving rays! Cap and Pig-Iron jump into the fray, as Cap asks the Tricky Tabby for some assistance.With the assistance of her “Magic Wanda”, Alley Kat-Abra and the gang take care of things handily. Captain Carrot explains his plight and asks Kat if she can fly. She says she can levitate and can help, but she wants them, and us by proxy to sit through her origin, so here it is.

Meteor rock? Check. New Age mumbo-jumbo? Double check.

And so Felina Furr reasons that’s what gave both her and her wand magical powers. Why she just happened to have a wand is a complete mystery though. It’s best not to think about it. Carrot and Pig-Iron tell her she’s on the mark, and say they have to get moving to Kornsas for their next recruit. With that, Alley Kat-Abra does a quick incantation and they get to their destination, but maybe not exactly where they wanted. You see, they teleported into the heart of a twister! Luckilly, the “man” they’re looking for is on the scene. Fastback, the Tornadic Terrapin does his best Flash impression and dissipates the cyclone. If you’ve read this far, you know what’s next, as Fastback relates his origin.

I'd think constantly having a rock down your shell would be uncomfortable, especially when running.

So, formulaicly, Fastback is brought into the fold. Kat offers to teleport everyone to Follywood where the last two meteors landed, but Fastback prefers to run. I can’t blame the guy. If I had super speed, I’d use it all the time, too. The group gets to the L.A. Freakway (love the puns, guys!), and it seems whoever is behind the de-evolving rays is stepping it up a bit, converting the entire expressway at once. This would be overwhelming, but the Malleable Mallard, Rubberduck and the Star-Spangled Spaniel, Yankee Poodle are on the scene already, where they have things well in hand. The formula for this issue continues, but thankfully, we get a two-fer this time.

Just what we need, a super-powered Joan Rivers.

Although the Follywood twosome seem to be in the hero game as a lark (and to make movies, natch), they agree to lend their super stretching and animal magnetism to Captain Carrot’s cause after a quick contract negotiation. The quintet makes their way back to the barrier and attempt to overcome it again. Alley-Kat Abra ponders if it is similar to barriers created by mystic Yogis. This leads to what is simultaneously the best, but most belabored of the puns in this issue. I’ll just let you see for yourself. You see, the barrier is a —

You have got to give props to a combination baseball/cartoon/cosmic pun.

After a familiar “Zappt!” They are teleported much like Superman was earlier. It turns out they are teleported to Pluto like Superman wanted, but it seems to be the Pluto of the Zoo Crew’s universe, although at this point, who knows? The group tries to find Superman, and thankfully there is a telltale evil villain-style cave in the distance. They enter and they do indeed fins Superman, chained up in Kryptonite, which is keeping him docile. Before the Man of Steel can be freed though, the mastermind behind the whole plan reveals himself as… Starro the Conqueror! He plans on killing all of the heroes, but first, you guessed it, he tells his origin!

At least it didn't involve meteor rocks.

Starro goes on to say Carrot and crew’s world reminded him too much of the human beings who plagued him, so he came up with his reverter ray. Superman interrupts at that point telling the Zoo Crew that there is absolutely no way that they can defeat Starro since he couldn’t Man, the ego on that guy. He then takes credit for their powers, in one of the most unsung tales of Super-dickery ever. Apparently, his own kryptonian powers interacted along with Starro’sray and the meteor to empower them all. It isn’t too clear and it includes a lot of “somehows”, so my guess is Superman just wants to get the credit. Starro is kind of sick of all this crap, and starts his attack. The Zoo Crew enters the fray and… they get trounced. They apparently haven’t grasped the whole “teamwork” thing yet, which is odd, considering they had just finished a recruitment/team-up. Thankfully for the team, super villains like to gloat. As Starro is celebrating his victory, Captain Carrot rallies his team together and this time, they work together, with iconic results!

"It'll take more than ropes to stop Mr. Fanta-- Oh wait, wrong homage!"

And so, Starro us subdued but not defeated. Luckily, Pig-Iron has a lot of limestone residue in his body (really, go back and check his origin panels). Limestone is anathema to starfish so Starro just shrivels up and the day is one. I guess the animal kingdom doesn’t have a code against killing. The Zoo Crew then frees Superman, who is surprisingly ineffectual the entire issue. He finally eats some crow though, when thanking his saviors. The heroes decide they can do a lot of good together rather than separately, so they officially band together as the Zoo Crew, and live to fight another day.

"Now get off my planet before I give you the cutest beatdown ever."

And there you have it. Last week I mentioned the Captain Carrot books have not been reprinted, and while that is still true, I have renewed hope in the Showcase edition being released soon, with DC finally working out some of the royalty issues in other books of the period. At any rate, I enjoyed telling the tale, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Next week, we’ll have… well that could be up to you! Let me know what animal-hero you’d like to see and If I y’know, have the issue, it could be in next week’s column!

This story originally appeared in Captain Carrot and his Amazing Zoo Crew #1 March, 1982