This one is a request from BigShinyRobot’s own Swank-mo-tron! Before the likes of Thunderstrike and the like got to wield the power of Thor like it was the flavor of the month, no one was deemed worthy enough to harness the power of mighty Mjolnir! That is until the great Walt Simonson introduced us to today’s featured character, so may I present the Secret Origin of Beta Ray Bill!
Bill’s story is so intertwined with Thor himself, that’s where we start our tale. Thor has been tasked by Nick Fury to investigate an object in space that tore through a S.H.I.E.L.D. probe and seemingly destroyed a star to refuel. (No asparagus people were harmed as far as I know.) Thor catches up with the ship, only to have it outpace him. Thor, being all godlike will have none of it and pours on the speed in pursuit. The ship identifies Thor as similar to the demon breed (we’ll find out what this means later). It opens fire on Thor, and this kind of ticks the God of Thunder off, so he flings his hammer at the ship and then casually tears open the hull like it’s paper.
"Mighty Thor has clipped toenails from a Frost Giant mightier than yon spaceship hold!"
Thor makes his way inside the ship and finds a room with a giant crystal chamber. Before he can really investigate, a klaxon within the ship sounds beckoning the ship’s ultimate defense mechanism. Thor gets a bit too close to the crystal, and his a mighty three-pronged hand crashes through the crystalline chamber and engulfs Thor’s thick Norse head! The battle rages and the shrouded figure is tossing Thor around like a rag doll. Thor wonders to himself who could possibly do this and we get one of the most badass character introductions ever.
A face only Sarah Jessica Parker could love.
Thor now has his bearings and the fight rages on. Bill is fighting because he thinks Thor is a demon, and Thor is fighting because he’s not keen on people just up and attacking him. The battle rages on and it seems the two combatants are pretty evenly matched, which is pretty impressive when you consider for all we know, Bill is simply mortal. During the course of the brawl, Thor is separated from Mjolnir and reverts back to Donald Blake at a pretty inopportune kind and Bill kicks him out with one punch. Meanwhile, Skuttlebutt (that’s Bill’s ship, by the way) is making a crash landing on Earth. Thor did a good amount of damage, after all. Nick Fury is on the scene and since for all anyone knows at this point, Bill is a viable threat he begins to attack. Unfortunately for Bill, he is seriously outgunned at the moment and is looking for anything to even the playing field. He looks for Thor’s hammer, but all he can find is a stick. In his frustration, he bangs it on the side of his ship’s hull and before you know it…
Just add a horn and Marvel could get that young girl demographic.
Well now it is obviously on, not unlike Donkey Kong. Bill easily decimates the forces of S.H.I.E.L.D. and it looks like the Earth is going to be destroyed by a misunderstanding. Until a literal Dues ex machina happens as Odin recalls who he thinks is Thor back to Asgard on urgent business. Before you know it, Bill is on the rainbow bridge of Asgard with all of its denizens hailing their hero in this, their hour of need. Too bad for them that Bill still thinks everyone is a demon and starts lashing out, demanding where the heck he is. Well, Odin doesn’t really cotton to this, as he’s just realized this isn’t his son. He demands to know where Thor is, and Bill is in no mood for explanations and does something that can only be seen as “rather foolish”:
Not a good idea to tick off a God there, Bill.
Odin recalls Mjolnir and asks again about Thor’s whereabouts again, and Bill says he doesn’t know, but he won the right to wield the power fair and square. Odin senses that Bill is telling the truth, and decides not to obliterate out horse-faced friend but does encase him in a crystal prison even Thor himself would have a hard time breaking out of. While Bill cools his heels, Odin discovers Thor is on Midgard (Earth) and recalls him. Thor is all mopey because his hammer was claimed by someone else, and Odin is ready to get to the bottom of things. He faces Bill and asks for forgiveness for his behavior. Bill is finally starting to get it through his head that maybe these aren’t demons after all.
"Odin demands a group hug!"
Now that everyone’s all lovey-dovey, pleasantries are exchanged, Odin tells Bill of his beginnings and asks Bill to do the same, so here we are 800 words later finally getting to the actual origin, straight from the horse’s mouth, you might say. Bill’s race was decimated when the core of his galaxy exploded, and the planet got so hot that it was uninhabitable, so it was decided the race would emigrate to find another suitable home. Before that task could be accomplished, a defender was needed, and that’s where Bill comes in:
They rebuilt him, stronger, faster, uglier!
The rest of his race left in a plethora of ships, all in suspended animation. As the mass exodus was underway, it seems a bunch of demons emerged from the very core to pursue them. Bill fought valiantly, but some of his charges were killed in the skirmish. Bill managed to lure the demon horde away and then proceeded to speed ahead of his fleet looking for sanctuary, which leads us to the present. He will not give up Thor’s hammer because of the advantage it gives him and by extension, his people. Thor explains that Bill didn’t really win the hammer fairly because he didn’t defeat Thor, he defeated Dr. Donald Blake. Odin explains the whys and wherefores of the Blake identity and goes on to tell both Bill and Thor that the reason Thor was summoned to Asgard was because an unknown power was amassing coincidentally in Bill’s home galaxy. And let me tell you, when Allfather Odin doesn’t know about a power somewhere in the universe, that is big time bad. It’s deemed that the hammer issue is actually the more pressing problem because if Thor has no hammer he’s not going to be as effective. Odin gets both hammer-wielders to agree on a new one-on-one combat. So it’s on again and Thor and Beta Ray Bill have another knock down, drag out fight. I am not going to elaborate on it, because you should all read it firsthand. Anyway, the battle is indeed fierce, but ultimately Bill wins again, due to him being more resistant to the extreme heat in Skartheim, their battlefield. In a rare case of fighting not solving anything (this is a Marvel comic, after all) Both combatants are disappointed with the outcome. Thor feels disgraced and is going to renounce Godhood, while Bill senses a kinship in Thor and even though he’s won the right to use the power in Mjolnir, he can’t bring himself to so this to Thor.
Odin, respects the nobility of Bill and loves his son, Thor so he decides to solve the dilemma once and for all. How does he do that? Well it’s a long and involved process, so I’ll just say if both people are entitled to the same hammer, what’s the easiest solution? If you said “make a new hammer”, you are an avid comic reader! That’s exactly what happens, after a painstaking and lengthy ordeal, Stormbreaker is forged and enchanted! Odin presents it to Bill and you know what that means: Splash Page!
By the way, I love sound effects.
So what happens next? Does Bill save his people? Do we find out what is behind the mysterious power in Bill’s galaxy? If you want to find out (and you should, because it is awesome) might I suggest Thor Visionaries Volume I? It is well worth your time and money to read it. So until next time, may your hammer strike like thunder!