X-Men X-Force: Cable Cyborg Action Figure
Scale: 7inches
Toy Biz 1995
Made in China
Cable is not a fucking cyborg! Jean Claude Van Damme is a cyborg!!! Now that’s out of the way let’s begin.
Being the huge Cable fan I am, I had to pick this masterpiece up. Of course, I couldn’t back in 1995 because I was too busy tracing Rob Liefeld’s covers and claiming them as my own. Much like Liefeld’s hand, leg, and women drawings…this figure is fuckin-fucked!
Nathan’s uniform is all Scott Summersed-out…Yes Homo! Navy and bright yellow never looked pleasing on pasty white Cyclops, so why do it to Cable? As for his arms, legs, and chest, they are thicker and harder than a She-Hulk orgasm!
As for accessories, “Fuuucckkk!” Cable has a shitty blaster from the future. Why is the gun stone-grey (Grey, Cable reference)? It’s from the future right?! Shouldn’t it be shiny like Lady Gaga’s clit piercing? The bullets/bullet holder is cool looking, which is supposed to rest on his shoulder (sorry no jokes for that). The last and most rewarding piece of Cable-magic is the skin attachments. The skin grafts help cover his Techno-Organic virus on his bicep and left side of his face. Apparently the virus is only spreading to these areas, so far. Thank God for that. I really didn’t want another T-1000 figure in my collection. Truth be told, I have no idea if they actually stay on his body. Who cares right? We should just be glad the Chinese packaged him with them. Can you imagine how embarrassed you’d feel walking around with the Techno-Organic virus and have no skin grafts to help mask your condition?!
Well I flipped a coin; it landed on tails, so that means…Don’t buy this. Cable’s a bad-ass, but this will make you want to shit on your comics, well at least the one’s Liefeld drew. Hey wait, hold on…I have to wipe!
In case you’re hot and bothered Amazon.com has this “NEW” for only $3.99