After a brief stray into spin-off territory, we now return to our regularly scheduled Apocalypse. And family drama. And angelic civil war. And cheekbones. I liked where it was going, I liked the pacing and stuff was getting done and making sense, and then – well, we’ll just get to that.
“King of the Damned” cold opened on a moderately confusing time travel to 1700ish Scotland, where Abaddon absconded with a seemingly random young man. Flash forward to the present, where we learn that angels shop at J Crew and drink Manhattans while forming Mean Girl cliques. A young angel tries to brag his way into a group of chums by telling his tales of Metatron servitude, but the joke is on him when the clique turns him in to Commander Castiel. Cas calls on the Brothers Winchester to do the interrogation, in which Dean does not get to pummel an angel as the guys just spills everything. Too bad there’s a mole in Angel Central and the kid bites it anyway. Meanwhile Abaddon has Crowley cornered by a bunch of treacherous demons and the Scottish kid, who turns out to be Crowley’s son, Gavin. Using him as leverage, she convinces Crowley to turn on the Winchesters and lure them to Cleveland. But since Abaddon is apparently completely dim, her scheme does not go as planned.
I’m generally pretty flippant about minor spoilers while trying to avoid the bigguns, but that won’t be the case tonight. That’s the disclaimer.
The relevant:
- Metatron has a portable back door to Heaven, and he’s using it to create an elite guard. Part of me wants to furrow my brow and scold the writers for not sticking to the rules they’ve created thereby invalidating all sense of accountability, but the other part of me says “chill out, nerd – Metatron is kinda God and he does what he wants.”
- Yeah no that’s it. The rest just turned into a big ol’ “whut.”
The awesome things that allowed me to disregard the frippery:
- There was some super fun cinematography going on tonight. The angel interrogation scene was especially stylish, but natural enough so as to avoid pretention.
- Was I supposed to laugh as much as I did? I really like that the show keeps a good portion of Crowley’s image laughable, because when he does turn menacing it’s so much more powerful. And Crowley kept me in giggles all most constantly. Even during Dean’s epic Jedi Mind Trick – there’s a biblical battle of wills going on, but it causes a lamp to hit the King of Hell in the noggin. And it was hilarious.
- I did enjoy the symmetry of tonight’s theme as it was reflected in the drudging Winchester angst and the lingering humanity high in Crowley. Family first, damn the consequences. Dean lies to Sam because he was afraid he would kill him, Crowley sets his old timey son loose in Cleveland at the risk of altering the universe. It was a nice parallel.
- Hey, here’s a fun thought – “King of the Damned.” Is it Crowley, or is it Cas? Hmmm.
- Dean’s “no.” There are really no words to impart to a new or non-viewer how powerful and terrifying that one word was.
The “Paid a Dime and Only Farted:”
- Soooooooo, Abaddon’s dead. Which was kind of anticlimactic. I mean, the scene itself wasn’t, what with the aforementioned Jedi Mind Trick, but the event itself seems kind of pointless now. Dean’s all juiced up on fratricide essence and all, but did this have to stretch out over 20 freaking episodes? Do we think they’re really going to kill Crowley? I don’t, for the record. So what’s left? Dean Dean the Killing Machine and Sam’s sandy vagina? Featuring Cas and the poorly organized choir on backing vocals? (Heh – choir. See what I did there?)
The Real Brow Furrows:
- Sam “kinda” sensed Gadreel? Are you shitting me? You gotta plant some seeds,man! This stuff can’t come from out of nowhere! Just have Cas meet with Gadreel because he’s smart and has good intuition – which HE DOES – and don’t write some bullshit scene adding a completely unnecessary and nonsensical plot point. If it needed to exist, it needed to show up about 18 episodes ago.
- Gadreel had some powerful episodes early in the season and then underutilized for weeks. If he has existed only to be the key to victory in Heaven’s civil war, I feel like that’s kind of cheap and transparent.
Here is a thing I desperately need:
- If last week was a good thermometer, I’m tepid when it comes to “Bloodlines.” But here’s a spin-off I can get behind: Gavin’s temporal disturbance causes Adam to be freed from the pit and the two become immediate BFFs. I smell a sitcom! Just two guys, one in knickers and one 16 kinds of fucked up from being tortured by Lucifer and Michael in Hell for five years, learning about life and love in the big city. I mean, it practically writes itself.
I know I’ve complained a lot in the reviews for this season. It’s been an uneven few months for me, as I really enjoy watching the episodes as always, but when I look at them in a bigger picture something is just missing. I can’t decide if it’s a total lack of mystery or direction. Am I missing it? Am I dim? I certainly would never rule it out. I do enjoy the Cain metaphor, but unfortunately I’m getting really sick of the constant brotherly bickering. Despite all my complaints, I’m still optimistic that the final episodes will tie everything up in a nice neat little package. Plus, next week’s episode is called “Stairway to Heaven” and I hope that means that Led Zeppelin finally gave Kripke permission to use a song.