“Dino-Riders” Episode 1.1 The Adventure Begins (7 out of 10) – Directed by Steven Hahn; Written by Gerry Conway and Carla Conway; Based on the Tyco toy line of the same name; Starring:Dan Gilvezan, Frank Welker, Noelle North, Peter Cullen, and Rob Paulsen; Originally aired January 10, 1988.
“Dino-Riders” was another in a wave of shows intended purely to sell toys. The common consensus is that if you’re motivated by merchandizing rather than storytelling, you’re going to make a bad show. While this is a legitimate concern, what “Dino-Riders” has to combat this is PEOPLE RIDING DINOSAURS WITH LASER GUNS! Add in the back story of a brutal futuristic war in space and time travel to prehistoric Earth and it’s the perfect mix of so much awesome you just don’t care about anything else.
The makers of “Dino-Riders” effectively brain boxed me like an unsuspecting T-Rex under the nefarious hands of Emperor Krulos. Sadly it only ran for 14 episodes in 1988. If Hollywood intends to continue down the road of reviving titles from the eighties, I vote for this.
After a strange and seemingly unconnected introduction of a kid at a museum, we’re introducted to Questar and the rest of the Valorians on the run from a Rulon armada controlled by the obviously evil anthropomorphic frog, Emperor Krulos. The Valorians attempt to use their “time step” to escape certain destruction but their equipment is damaged from the battle and the step is delayed. Krulos uses the delay to lock on a tractor beam and both ships are pulled into the past, arriving in prehistoric Earth.
When they reach the surface the Valorians use psychic technology contained inside amulets around their necks to communicate with and befriend the dinosaurs. Krulos sees a similar opportunity in the dinosaurs and creates the “brain box,” a mind control device that gives Krulos control over that dinosaurs mind.
When a T-Rex appears and is seemingly unaffected by the Valorian’s psychic sweet talk Krulos sees an opportunity to brain box the beast and defeat Questar once and for all. After successfully taking control of the Tyrannosaur Krulos heads toward the Valorian base to kill Questar and take control of the time step to return home and rule his empire.
Finally an epic dino-battle ensues. All your favorite giant lizards are there, even if they lived in completely different time periods, who cares? They have laser guns and are piloted by a hammerhead shark dude. Your disbelief took a nap fifteen minutes ago, just go with it.
Questar hops a Pterodactyl and blasts the brain box of old Rex and Krulos runs scared for the hills. The T-Rex doesn’t attack presumably because he was like “Thanks man, I’m not about to be told what to do by my great-great-great-grandson. Kids!”
The Valorians live to fight another day, on dinosaurs, with lasers. Awesome.
Stick around to the end of the video, there are some sweet “Dino-Riders” toy commercials that are still totally effective and I’m going to ask my Mom to raise my allowance because I need every single one of them.