I picked up the new Dragon Quest title the other day “Dragon Quest Swords” It is a First person slasher for the Nintendo Wii.

You play the whole game with one hand, and most the time you pretend like you are holding a sword, and you hold down the “B” button to put out your shield to block, it’s great. The game is very simple, there is only one town, they send you out on a young boys quest to become a man, when you get caught up in saving the kingdom.

It is really fun, Unfortunately it takes less then 8 hours to beat the first time through, there is some after game stuff that takes longer to beat then the normal game, but it is only boss battles, so it gets really repetitive. The pay off for doing so, is the best sword in the game, and it is quite good. Worth it? well I did it, and then played the game from the beginning all over again, so apparently so.

Overall I really enjoyed playing the game and it is very easy to get into, but there are several problems at the same time.

1. there is no random battle system, so the first time through a board is the only time you will be surprised. Bosses are only tough while you are figuring them out, or when you are ridiculously under leveled. (Except the extra bosses, whom kick you in the nuts and squeeze your stomach until you crap your pants.)

2. There isn’t enough game play. There are only 8 levels.

3. The best shield in the game is beyond tedious to get. (I both love and hate this game!)

4. I think they were close to where they needed to be as far as how realistic the sword slashing was, but sometimes it glitches and does something that you don’t tell it to do and since they count misses and sword slashes against you for bonuses it can be really frustrating.

It’s extremely fun, and I recommend playing it, I really look forward to a sequel with a random battle system and more game play. This is the type of game that the Wii was made for, I loved how simple the controls were.

You heard right. When Nintendo released that they were going to create some fitness themed games for their new console, I thought, “Great, it’s about time those meat bags started cutting off the fat.” I didn’t think this was the direction they would go…

Nintendo and Peekaboo are teaming up to create a stripper game for the Wii. I think we all remember the damage the Wii Remotes did on their own to our television sets and living rooms. I can’t wait to see what kind of damage a Wii Stripper game will create.

I remember the grease spot that formed in my robo-undies the first time I saw Sub-Zero pull Kano’s spine out of his neck hole. Despite Mortal Kombat’s retarded character design, equally retarded special moves and the super-retarded graphics, splash a bucket of blood into my 12 year old eyes and all was forgiven.

Needless to say, the novelty wore off when I turned 12 and a half, but apparently they still kept making them.

Anyway, huff that Sharpie, crank up Korn’s greatest hits and get a load of this.

Not much has been released about Spider-man: Web of Shadows. I hope the game has a similar engine to the movie games, and veers away from the Spider-man: Friend or Foe format. The premise, as I understand it so far:

Something very evil and massive attacks New York. As usual, our favorite web head is stuck in the middle of it. This time you get to choose who you trust, and who you leave behind. Depending on how you play the game, and who you befriend alters the ending of the game.

I’ve been a Final Fantasy nerd ever since I could remember and I still think that most of those games are some of my favorites. It also seems like since I was a kid I thought that the Dragon Warrior series, now the Dragon Quest series, was similar to Final Fantasy but not as good. This opinion was based solely on the impression I got from playing the first Dragon Warrior game for ten minutes in the eighties.

I kept thinking this up until a few years ago when Dragon Quest 8 came out and it looked too cool not to try.

I loved it.

It gave me Dragon Warrior Fever. The next thing you know, I went about getting all of the original NES games and beating them. Now I’m not saying that this makes Final Fantasy not good, I’m just surprised what I’ve been missing out on my whole life.

It’s interesting to me how similar these series are technically, but how drastically different they are with their game play. The biggest differences to me are that Final Fantasy, particularly recently, are willing to break the classic RPG stereotypes (I.E. no level-up system etc.) whereas Dragon Warrior has stuck to their original rules to the letter.

Final Fantasy has always tried to make their games, battle, magic, and level-up systems almost indistinguishable from the last, and I think that it actually keeps there series really fresh. Dragon Warrior keeps all of these things very traditional, but keeps it interesting and fresh in different ways. For instance, giving you different types of parties specific to that game. I think since the Final Fantasy games get so wacky with how they’re doing things, they tend to make the games a little to easy in order to compensate for their tricky new battle systems. Since Dragon Warrior has been sticking to it’s chops, they have it figured out and are able to perfectly balance what level you are for what dungeon, and keep the game much more challenging than any of the Final Fantasy games.

Dragon Warrior keeps it simple and gets the job done, and that is true for their story telling as well.

Final Fantasy gets much more complex with their stories and is much more involving as far as that goes. Dragon Warrior hasn’t even come close to drawing a tear from my eyes, but Final Fantasy, I’m not embarrassed to say, has.

I like both series, and they both are good at what they do.

My prescription is this: If you like in depth, involving story, then you should be playing Final Fantasy, If you want flawless kick-ass challenging game play, then you should pick up Dragon Warrior.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you “Sonic Unleashed”:

Sega has released an official press release, which you can read here, but here is a snippet talking about the game play and the new “Hedgehog Engine”:

“Sonic Unleashed will offer a re-defined experience for fans and newcomers of the franchise alike by combing picturesque & detailed scenery, an expansive world with multiple paths to choose from and dynamic viewpoints for an immersive and renewed gaming atmosphere. Along with seamless 3D to classic 2D camera transitions, the game is built on a powerful, new proprietary “Hedgehog Engine,” which introduces impressive lighting abilities and new technology tailor made for Sonic’s new speed capabilities. Under development for approximately three years, the Hedgehog Engine will help to produce a visually rich next generation look and feel with elements of classic Sonic gameplay components.”

Judging by the press release and the video, it looks like the game will be what all Sonic fans have been hoping for, a 3D side scroller hybrid…thingy. I guess what I am trying to say is that it looks like it’s going to be a lot better than the last several games that have been released. I really enjoyed Sonic Adventure, and even it’s sequel, yes they had camera problems, but they seemed to stay true to the Sonic mythos for the most part, but every game following had blown, so hopefully this will bring Sonic back to his roots.

Plot details are vague and limited, but supposedly they are keeping the playable character roster low (Tails, Sonic, and Knuckles have been confirmed) and the plot has something to do with Sonic turning into some sort of “WereSonic” at night (I know, I know, but let’s wait and see, there have been worse plots). You can view some screen shots here which may give a few hints about the plot.

Sonic Unleashed is due to be released Holiday Season this year… that’s tentative of course, so don’t count on that quite yet.

Update: Be sure to read the new article in Poll Smoker and place your vote to the right for the best Pre-Sonic Adventure 2 Sonic game!

May 21st of this year will introduce a new, innovative way to exercise via the Wii Fit. If you don’t know about the Wii Fit, it is a “game” for the Nintendo Wii that uses a peripheral called the “Wii Balance Board” to lead you in many exercise activities including yoga, push ups, balance exercises, and about 35 others. The Wii Balance Board can measure a user’s wieght and their center of gravity, and even calculate their body mass index when told the user’s height. The “game” will then track your weight and BMI and you can even compare it against other users by it’s own channel on the Wii. It’s intended to be a virtual personal trainer (for lack of a better comparison) and to allow users to get in shape in a new innovative way in the comfort of their living room.

So what does this all mean? The idea of exercising at home is not a new one, and just like all existing routines that you can do at home it still takes dedication and motivation to actually do it. Just going out and buying the Wii fit obviously isn’t going to make you lose weight…I know, shocking. The question I pose is will this really revolutionize getting fit at home? Nintendo sold 1,113,626 copies in Japan in about a month and a half, but how will us “immediate results” Americans receive it? Personally, it does look like fun and I could see the benefit and change of pace something like this offers*, but what happens after the new wears off?

My other question is in regards to effectiveness. Does it work? Will the Wii Fit actually make you…well, fit? A guy from 4 Color Rebellion actually used the Wii Fit for 7 weeks, working out with it for 30-60 minutes each day and claims that it helped him lose 10 lbs., you can read his whole experience here, it’s actually quite interesting and the results (if legitimate) can’t be denied.

When it comes down to it, you’ll either think it’s a good idea and go buy the Wii Fit, or you won’t. The reception will certainly be interesting and the results it offers will be something to watch. We just have to wait and see.

*Of course, me being a robot, exercising is nothing more than a form of entertainment for me, the health benefits are exclusive to you meatbags out there.

You know you’re psyched…

This featured poll was inspired by an argument between Kill-tacular-tron and Swank-mo-tron. They had both viewed the April Fool’s Legend of Zelda trailer on IGN.com.

Kill-tacular-tron thinks Ocarina of Time would best translate into a movie.

Swank-mo-tron’s vote is on A Link to the Past.

What do you think? Place your vote to the right.

Admittedly, I am probably a little behind in the game, but apparently I am not the only one. Earlier this year I barely bought myself an XBox 360, which of course is currently at Microsoft being repaired (shocking, I know); I have enjoyed it tremendously but it was only a matter of time before I decided I would like to own the apparently very ellusive Nintendo Wii.

Now, I’m not ignorant, I read the news, I stay ontop (for the most part) on what’s going on in the gaming industry and I know the Wii is a hot item, but I honestly thought that now 3 months past the holiday season the Wii would be a little easier to obtain. I was wrong. Very, very wrong. I have been going to, calling, and visiting the websites of Best Buy, Circuit City, FYE, Shopko, KMart, Smith’s Marketplace, Toys ‘R’ Us, Gamestop, EB Games, Sam’s Club, Costco, and Amazon.com, and I swear to you, no one within a 50 mile radius of my hometown has a Wii (aside from buying one online in a “bundle” of a bunch of games I really don’t want for $600+). I have been calling multiple locations of mulitple stores literally everyday to ask if any Wii’s are in stock; I get the same answer everytime:

“No. And we don’t know when we will be getting anymore in.”

So I, like I’m sure thousands of others, have been asking the one billion dollar question: “Why?” Why can no store keep the Wii in stock for longer than a few hours, maybe a day or two, and on top of that, never know when they will be getting anymore. “We get them when Nintendo puts them at our back door.” is the favorite saying of every employee at FYE (douchy chumps), and similar sayings are spouted by every other person I talk to at every store I call or visit. So, maybe I am asking the wrong people, maybe the source needs to provide some answers, maybe the maker should be able to supply their devoted-for-20-plus-years fanbase with reasonable access to their new product. Yes,

I’m looking at you. There have been many rumors, theories, and “facts” about why Wii’s are so hard to come by. The first is that Nintendo claims that a certain chip for the Wii is very difficult to mass produce and that slows down the whole production of the entire console… now, how true this is is beyond me, this is just what two dudes at FYE told me, sounds kind of dumb and frankly, doubtful. The other theory is a classic conspiracy theory that Nintendo and merchants are intentionally holding back Wii stock to create shortage and thus a higher demand. Personally, I doubt this as well.

I think that the right answer, and the answer that most people including myself just don’t like to hear, is that people just want the Wii. It’s a great product, very family and party oriented, and people want to own. This simple reason seems to be the most simple, not to mention most logical, of answers. With that being said however, I think Nintendo should make efforts to step up production and make the console more accessable to their loyal consumers. If I had invented a product that seemingly everyone in the GD world wanted to give me $250+ for I would try my best to make sure people could get it. Nintendo seems to be okay with the idea of “You can buy one if you can find one. Good luck.”

There are tools out there to help, I have been utilizing wiialerts.com to try to see if I can’t snag one of the internet at maybe circuitcity.com or amazon.com, but check out how long the Wii stays in stock at these places once they get a shipment, it’s a hard play, especially with all the assholes out there that buy the Wii just to throw it on EBay and try to make a profit off it (seriously, if you do this, you’re an ass). I guess where there’s a will there’s a way and if I want to shell out “market price” or pay a lot for a bundle I will just have to be patient, do some leg work, and be prepared to punch out old ladies and children at the store for a Nintendo Wii.