At first glimpse (and wholly to my dismay), this game looked like the usual excuse for gamers to oogle and fantasize about another female heroine. The sexual innuendo tied to the marketing campaign left me pretty disinterested in the idea behind the game. When my review copy arrived I had nothing but the faith in the Devil May Cry creator to motivate me to open this title. And much to my surprise this game has loads of depth, that drive way past the sexual ocean the main character pours out.

Bayonetta opens with the usual combat tutorial twisted into the story. You are summoning angels for an an undisclosed purpose, which is soon revealed as their dismemberment. A few minutes into the tutorial I was already in love with the slick combat system. Simply using the the Y button for punches, the B button for kicks, the x for guns, and your right trigger for dodges/counters. During all load screens you are handed lists of your possible combos and an opportunity to practice them. I can’t stress how much I enjoy practicing up on the load screens for the next fight. The combo system also exhibits something that I haven’t seen in many games of this genre. You are allowed to basically change your mind during a combo, either by pressing the dodge button, or simply pressing another attack to change it up. The combat system in Bayonetta is one of the most polished combat systems I have ever played. It tops any other action game of this type. I’m a huge proponent of Devil May Cry, and I love God of War, but even they didn’t feel this fluid during combat.
Moving forward through the story you collect rings (thanks sega) which can be spent on upgrades to your weapons, techniques, or purchase items to help you survive the game. Item’s can also be brewed using your alchemy abilities, blending items you find into different lollipops for health, magic, invincibility etc. The system is limited but adds a cool angle to the game, allowing you to brew what you need on the fly (provided you collect enough of the appropriate items.) Graphically the game looks fabulous, at least on 360. For the first time ever I can confidently say that a game looks better on the Xbox. Whatever switch flipped during the ps3 development should be unflipped. The visuals on ps3 look cloudy, muddy even. And it pauses slightly for 1-2 seconds any time you pick up an item, open a door, move into a new area.. Pretty much do anything that doesn’t affect game play on the 360. Every other aspect of the game performs just fine, and the combos system still flows perfectly. If you can handle the wierd pausing and the blur then the Playstation version is just fine.

Keeping on par with most action games, the story to Bayonetta does feel a bit thin. Tho offering a cool character with a creative idea, more than 70% of the way through I was still mildy confused as to why I was storming the gates of heaven. I was aware that she wanted to know her past and who she was, and also why the small child called her mummy. I just didn’t find myself motivated to find out. I only wanted to slaughter more angels, whether it be with my stiletto gun, fists, or finishing them with torture attacks. THESE ARE SERIOUSLY COOL, whether shoving them into the iron maiden, stretching them across the rack, using the guillotine, or even dropping a giant spike wheel on their heads. Bayonetta leaves nothing to the imagination for creatively killing the enemy, and in doing so kept me cranking excitedly through every level. With 8-12 hours of game play on normal, and plenty of reasons to play through the game a second time. Bayonetta is a great addition to the collection of any action enthusiast. Read more about the ESRB info here

Loved:

• Absolutely beautiful combat system, the best I have seen in any action game.
• A cool take on the heaven and hell battle story, the angels looked like a cool blend of catholic cherubs and egyptian gods.
• ACTION ACTION ACTION
• A simple item creation system that makes the game survivable in the heat of combat.
• Torture kills that get more creative with every new angel you battle.

Hated:

• The Playstation 3 version not performing as well as the 360 version, why can’t people make them work the same?
• At times the sexual innuendo is so over the top that it’s obnoxiously cheesy, and hard to take seriously
• The way she walks.. the run is fine the walk is irritating, who walks like that.

Score:

XBOX	PS3
Graphics – 10 Gameplay – 10 Replay – 9 Audio – 10 Overall – 9.75	Graphics – 9 Gameplay – 9 Replay – 9 Audio – 10 Overall – 9.25

For the first post of 2010 I thought I would do a review of Mario & Luigi Bowser’s Inside Story. Why did I pick this for the first post of the decade? I don’t know.

I saw the first screen shots of this game around the same time they were releasing footage for New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Unfortunately like most of the world, I didn’t see through the gimmicks of the Wii release and put this DS game lower on my list.

A bad decision in retrospect, as I was in love with this game at first sight. It looked as if it was a modern Super Mario RPG. And while Super Mario RPG wasn’t the best RPG ever made. It was one of the easiest to shut your brain off and play over and over, and in that capacity it has earned its spot in my copper heart. But looking at Bowser’s Inside story didn’t’ look exactly like Mario RPG, it looked better. But would it live up to my inflated expectations?

I’m pleased to say it did, And quickly at that. The battle system is very original and while maintaining somewhat of an RPG feel, it also puts your skill at the helm so you can’t get too lazy. That goes for just about every aspect of the game. There are more than a few mini games, and in just about every dungeon you are learning completely new moves to use in and out of battle.

There is definitely some explanation in order just to set up the world. First off, your playable characters are, Mario, Luigi, and Bowser. You fight separate from each other the entire time, and in fact Bowser doesn’t even realize he’s teamed up with the Mario Bros. the entire game. So it’s like you are playing two different games simultaneously. Bowser with his motives, Mario and Luigi, with theirs.

It is like you are teamed up the whole time though, because most of Mario and Luigi’s battles are meant to help Bowser out from the inside, and even when you are focused on a Bowser dungeon, you might ingest an enemy that the Mario Bros. can help you fight. The whole battle system was brilliant and it doesn’t stop there. There are some other types of battles as well, Mario and Luigi traverse in and out of Bowser’s body throughout the game, and another aspect of the game is that Bowser can become a giant and add an entire other way of fighting. Overall the battles were amazing.

Starting with the concept of the game, Bowser swallowing most of the Mushroom Kingdom, and unifying good and bad Vs. worse. (A stranger named Fawful.) The story continues in this awesomely ludicrous fashion until the very end, and keeps you laughing the whole time. There were times that I was laughing out loud. Some of the interactions with Luigi were priceless. And everything with Bowser and his minions was solid gold.

The writing in this game was really good (Some of the best ever!). Nintendo did a great job, and they kept it short enough that I wouldn’t mind going through it again in the near future. My first play through was just under twenty hours, and if I so chose to deviate from the main story, I’m sure there would be another solid 5-10 hours of playtime to add.

Anyway, that’s what the game did right. I did have some tiny complaints on my way through.
#1 There’s far too much explaining going on. The first hour or more, while being really funny, is really boring. You don’t have any freedom, and they don’t really let you loose for a couple of hours after that. And honestly once you are let loose you don’t know what to do without the chains.

#2 There seems to be no way to game over. Some of the bosses were a little tricky, but they give you enough elite items to run through the game several times. In my opinion it was a little too easy. Although (not to sound presumptuous.) if you aren’t as seasoned a player as I am, I can see it being more challenging, and therefore even funner.

In defense of #2, I would recommend this game to anyone because it is really fun. There were just some points in the game where I felt too comfortable.

My final analysis is, 9 out of 10. The writing and the story were top notch. The battle system was really good. The finale was astounding (because they worked every battle system into the last dungeon.) The game design looked fantastic. I really loved this game.

I recommend picking it up, and where better than Amazon!

Happy New Year from Big Shiny Robot!

Konami snuck this one under our shiny metal noses. I couldn’t find the release date of this game until the day it came out, which was two days ago, but it was worth the non-wait!

For those of you that are not familiar, Castlevania the Adventure was the original Gameboy 4bit released in 1989 (20 years ago.) (Damn I’m old.) For the twentieth anniversary they remade it for Wiiware with SNES graphics. Some of you might ask yourself, “Did this need to be remade?” and the answer is, “Yes it did, you idiot!”

The new graphics make it look a lot like Castlevania IV, while maintaining the difficulty of the original game. Overall, much more user friendly. (I hope that Nintendo follows in Konami’s foot steps and re-vamps Metroid II.) This game has a specific charm to it that definitely belongs in the mainstream Castlevania series. You play a Belmont, the story is drastically simple, and it is a delightful challenge.

Just like most Castlevania’s it should take the better part of a day to get through the whole thing. (Other than Castlevania III and X, those game’s are bitches.) And for what feels like an entirely new Castlevania game $10 dollars is a reasonable price. It is truly one of the most balanced Castlevania games. It’s challenging at times, but very playable. It has Normal and Hard settings, and if you want to make it even easier it has the option to add lives per continue.

I would place the difficulty of this game right below Castlevania Chronicles, but above the first and fourth in the series. (Obviously only including the platformers.) I am mostly only gauging this based on the last two levels, as they are almost always the most challenging.

But ultimately there are two things that stand out about this game. The first being, even the three stage Dracula seemed to be a very methodical victory, meaning I can feel that it was about skill and not luck and it was challenging, but in the end very beatable.

And the number two reason this game was awesome, was that they fixed the problem from the original so that you can change direction in mid-jump. If anyone is familiar with this problem in the first few Castlevania games, you’ll understand how great it feels to finally have control.

Well that’s about it. This game has some creatures that are indigenous to this game solely, and therefore a must have for Castlevania fans. It is simply a really good game that I recommend downloading the next afternoon you have free.

I am awarding this game 9 out of 10!

I know I’m doing another really late review, (more than a year late by my calculations.) But I just got around to playing it,  and I was so excited by how good it was that I wanted people to know what they were missing out on. Dragon Quest V has quickly taken a spot on  my top 10 RPG list. Now I know why this is the second remake of this game! (Super Famicom, PS2, DS.)

Although it isn’t the best selling Dragon Quest game of all time. I think it easily has the most epic story. Beginning while your hero is a young boy, and going all the way until he’s an old man with children of his own. But that isn’t what makes the story so epic, it’s what they are willing to put your character through. From a ten year stint in slavery, all the way to getting married. I was constantly surprised at how much they were willing to change things.

The only real complaint I had about this game, was that it wasn’t quite as tough as some of the other Dragon Quests, and there wasn’t as much playtime either. My first run through was 24 hours, while DQ4 was about 35 hours, DQ7 90+, DQ8 45. But a good game to me has nothing to do with quantity, if anything I think this games brevity is one of its many charms.

The next best thing (Besides the story), was a cool new party system, which allows you to pick up and level almost any monster in the game. Making the party possibility’s endless and therefore very replayable. Although it was poor planing that they give you a very easy opportunity to get a slew of ultimate weapons just a few hours into the game. Literally the best sword in the game is acquired by about 10 minutes of gambling in the fifth town you get to.

I can’t describe just how cool the story in this game is. It’s almost more like reading a book than playing a video game, although the gameplay is still really good. Additionally for the DS version they even added some extra dungeons, and some mini-games that are pretty fun. Overall it was just relieving to see such a cool form of story telling in a video game for once.

Which brings me to my weekly tangent: Video games aren’t telling as good stories as they should. Why do books, and movies, have all the good story real estate? I would say that the average fifty hour video game has less story than any other medium, and if it does have story, it’s usually kitschy as hell. Perfect example? God of War, the story of God of War is horrible, I love it to death, but it is God of Awful!

And as we see in Dragon Quest V, you can have a really cool story without sacrificing gameplay. It isn’t a completely lost cause though, there are games that break this pattern. Nintendo has been doing a really good job lately, at least on the writing side. (Bowser’s Inside Story, and LoZ: Spirit Tracks, I’m looking at you.)

At the end of the day, Dragon Quest V was a real treat to play, and well worth the investment. Unfortunately, although it is pretty new, it is already hard to find. But I urge every robot with the Nintendo DS system to find themselves a copy. You’ll be glad that you did. I picked up my copy on Ebay for a reasonable price, I suggest you do likewise gentlemen.

I am giving this game 10/10!

While at this years Comic-con, I found myself walking by the Capcom booth in the middle of a tournament of Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom. It caught my eye and I had to stop walking and watch the rest of the tournament. It looked amazing.

It looks as though it’s made in the same vein as Marvel Vs. Capcom, but with a blend of Street Fighter 4. What’s gotten me so excited about this is how amazing it looks, and for the Wii no less.
Just watch the video and you’ll see what I’m talking about!

Take a close look at the cover to see a nice pallet of playable characters. (Notably: Zero!) (If it’s anything like Marvel Vs. Capcom there are going to be loads of extra characters.)
They have announced more than 20,
o Capcom: Ryu, Chun-Li (Street Fighter), Batsu (Rival Schools), Alex (Street Fighter III), Morrigan (Darkstalkers), Soki (Onimusha: Dawn of Dreams), Mega Man Volnutt (Mega Man Legends), Roll (Mega Man), Saki (Quiz Nanairo Dreams), Viewtiful Joe, PTX-40A (Lost Planet) and more to be announced
o Tatsunoko: Ken the Eagle, Jun the Swan (Science Ninja Team Gatchaman), Yatterman, Doronjo (Yatterman), Casshan, Tekkaman, Polymar, Karas, Ippatsuman and Gold Lightan, plus others to be revealed.

To wrap it all up, I think that this is going to be a solid fighting game.
Tatsunoko Vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars is coming out January 26th exclusively for the Wii. Pre-order your copy on Amazon today!

I’ll preface this review with one statement: I expected absolutely nothing from this game, I honestly thought that they would give us another balance board knock off with unresponsive controls and no fun.  I stand corrected.

The guys at Robomodo put up a quality board, and Neversoft did their best to give you a quality skating game. I enjoyed the trick system quite immensely. It really did feel natural to do the tricks I was doing. As someone who attempted skate boarding throughout his teenage years it felt natural to lift the front to Ollie, lean left while lifting the front to kick-flip. The trick portion of the game felt pretty natural, as long as they drove for you. Once you get into steering the board yourself it turns into a completely different animal.
The board controls like a deck with the tightest trucks I can imagine. With minimal sensitivity settings. If you don’t lean hard enough to the left you barely turn, on the other hand you can overshoot it by a millimeter and your guy will turn completely around. Steering on the thing was so difficult, that I finally just let the game do it for me. When they’re steering I became the all mighty leader of pro skating. But if the computer isn’t driving I was doomed.

Above: The board itself, not too shabby looking.

The soundtrack fell perfectly in line with the other Tony Hawk titles, they licensed a large amount of Indie, Hardcore, Hip-Hop, Dance rock, pretty much any genre that skater’s listen to. And the story itself unfolds naturally, you’re a new pro skater trying to impress Tony with your wild feats, and tricks. It’s sad to say that some things never change, but I suppose with a skating game you can’t really write much more story than that.
Visually I can appreciate the bright colors they use and the hip art-style applied to the genre. It ‘s fun to cruise around brightly colored cities with neon signs and lights, all perfectly ramped up for skating. I wouldn’t hand this game the animation award, but it looks good enough for the goal it accomplishes, and I enjoy playing it.
As a whole I feel Ride was a great idea, it just fell short in the full delivery. With new Tech and some improvements on the boards sensitivity there is a strong chance that they can deliver us a beautiful skating experience. Much like Assassin’s Creed 1 was a test in open world gaming, I hope that this is only a test in open world skating with a sick peripheral. Read more at my My Examiner Page

Loved:

• Innovative board, with easy motion, and solid construction.
• Great sound track that kept the game fun during skating sessions
• The Overall idea

Hated:

• 20 minute calibration session to start the game, with Tony joking around with you…
• Controls were too tight when guiding the board, you had to lean EXACTLY the right amount to make the turn happen, they felt broken for much of the game.
• being called bro by everyone

Score:

• Audio – 8
• Graphics – 8
• Controls -4
• Replay – 7.5
• Overall – 6

In Rogue Warrior, you are Richard Marcinko during the cold war, infiltrating communist bases and blowing them up… and swearing at them. I found this game entertaining in the same way that I find a Steven Seagal movie entertaining; It’s so over the top that I forget the real world in which I live in. The game looks good, the models are pretty, the textures are… for the most part fine. You’re fighting in warehouses, therefore the bland environment works. The controls were standard shooter controls until you tried to duck and cover. I found myself sticking to odd parts of the wall, or only being able to stick to certain parts, and my warrior didn’t want to aim more than a few feet to the left.. even though all he had to do was rotate his head some more.

Some “Commi” gets what he deserves…

I’m not typically a hater when it comes to games, and I don’t hate Rogue Warrior. I just don’t think it’s special in any way. It gives gamers a reference point for generic shooter, and tries to cover it up by earning its mature rating. The voice overs mostly consist if him being angry at the government, “screwing the pooch”,”fucking the goat”, or calling the enemies “goddamn motherfuckin cocksmoking…” you get the idea. With every kill I was “rewarded” with celebratory profanity, and after about 50 kills I grew tired of it.
The stealth kills are relatively cool, stabbing dudes in the throat, cutting their knee then breaking their necks. All tasteless acts of angry violence, which work out nicely. I only wish that it didn’t play the same animations for any melee kills. If you rush an enemy who is shooting at you and perform a kill maneuver, it will play a stealth kill video.. So you have to use your imagination to pretend he turned around before you got to him. A small detail, but annoying enough in presentation. And it happened EVERY time. Read more at my Examiner page

Loved:

• Stabbing communists… I guess.

Hated:

• tough duck and cover systems
• enemies that were either blind, or had x-ray vision
• same animation for melee kills regardless of how they were started(from behind or front)
• Overall generic feel

Score:

• graphics-8
• Audio- 6.5
• Controls 6.5
• Replay 4
• Overall – 6.25

Anyone who played the first Arkham Asylum, should have wet themselves with delight at the teaser for part 2, and I was no different. After watching it I went through the trailer frame by frame and found some cool stuff that I hope is hinting towards the villains. Here they be:

First of all, this is a Harvey Dent poster… hopefully leaning towards a Two-face appearance!

Shown here in the trailer down the alley is the Iceberg Lounge.. Penguin I hope?

And this last piece is SIONIS last name of The Black Mask.

Hopefully more news will surface soon on which villains will surface for the game. From my understanding and great explanation from Mexicus Prime the story is rumored to be similar to The Joker. Written by Bian Azzarello, if you haven’t read it, you’re missing out.

Super Smash Bros. saw its release on the Virtual Console today. It marks the Nintendo Wii’s 500th game download.

I can’t make heads or tails about how I feel about this game on the Virtual Console. On one end of the spectrum, I played this game for thousands of hours on the ol’ N64, and I’m afraid that it won’t be the same with a different controller. I mean, the Gamecube, and Wii tried mimicking the success of this legendary title unsuccessfully. There was something about the N64 that put it above all the others.

I guess it was the cold hard physics that just seemed perfect. Example: Captain Falcon winning 90% of equally timed hits, but then he couldn’t jump worth a damn, and was close range. But I also assume that the N64 controller, while being a faulty device, had its appeal and contributed to how perfect the game was.

Going off on a tangent really quick, I just want to mention another reason I believe this one was better than Melee or Brawl. I believe that it had something to do with the simplicity, you could easily wrap your head around all the characters and familiarize yourself with all their moves. Not just for playing all the characters, but to fight against them as well. Unconsciously, I feel this was something everyone appreciated, having their brains turn into sleeper strategy boxes. Pikachu (You) vs. Captain Falcon: don’t get above or below him, and especially don’t stay on the ground next to him. Bait him, and then lightning charge until he’s weak enough to buck him.

I’d also like to mention this game had the best television commercial that I’d ever seen.

In either case it’s nice to see one of the best games ever released for the N64 making its way to the easy access that is the Virtual Console.

Super Smash Bros.™

Due out March 2010, Capcom is doing the 8-bit thing again for another installment in the Mega Man series.

I’ve finally heard someone complaining about these 8-bit titles, Zombietron had the argument of: “Who wants to spend good money on a game that doesn’t look good?” The answer is, of course, the good doctor. Mega Man 9 was awesome, one of the best in the entire series. As it made fun of itself, and was in on the joke, it was about as well-balanced as a Mega Man game can be. It introduced innovative new concepts to the series without loosing the classic look and feel. Basically it felt like a brand new game, that would have been worth the full cost of a video game, but I was only being charged for a $10 dollar download.

Hence my excitement for Mega Man 10. It looks like they are doing the same thing, but in a way that seems even more aware of what people are asking for. Namely me, the good doctor. They are boasting a new easy mode, as well as the ability to play proto-man without an additional download.

I was already completely sold on the idea of Mega Man 10, but after watching the video below, I have to say I have considerably raised my expectations. Watch it now!

So, I think we can all safely get excited now. As a true robot, how can you not be? (Maybe even Zombietron?) As a reminder, it is coming out in March!

On a small digression, because it is so close to robot Christmas: for some reason Amazon dropped the price on Zelda Spirit tracks $10 dollars, and still in time to get it for Christmas. So buy it on Amazon for only $25 dollars!