Name: Venom

Year: 2008

Scale: 6in.

Made in China

www.hasbro.com/spiderman

I would like to share today the best looking/affordable Venom toy on the market. Unlike Eddie Brock, Gene Simmons comes with a scorpion tail! Some assembly is required, but not to worry, no tools will be needed in the tail assembly.

The venom symbiote has dropped onto the baby of Gene Simmons/Flex Wheeler and goes by the name Mac Gargan. The well placed black-gloss paint covers the very durable plastic, emphasizing detailed muscle striations and veins. It’s very ribbed for any collector’s pleasure… The hands or “clarz” are very sharp, so I’d avoid those if possible. His hands are very impressive “detail” wise. His fingers are “jointed”, even though there’s no articulation in them, they still look real for the scale of the figure. I can finally understand Shannon Tweed’s reason for love, this incredible tongue! The tongue is longer than Gene’s torso and is colored beautifully with fiery-reds and pussy-pinks.

Venom is packaged traditionally, but the packaging graphics are dog-shit! They should have had themed packaging for every villain in the line to better suit the image of the characters persona. The best thing about it is the back. The image of Gene holding spidey by the waist, mouth-opened, with a scorpion tail that wouldn’t reach past his own head was well worth the purchase!

This was definitely a series you don’t need to collect. The only other tolerable figure is GREEN GOBLIN; the CARNAGE toy had bigger hands then Kate Beckinsale!

In closing, if you want a bomb-ass Venom figure/toy check out the KOTOBUKIYA figure; if you want a body-builder /KISS star, look no further.

In a press release on February 10, McFarlane Toys announced that they have partnered with Frank Darabond and Image Comics to create a Walking Dead Series of action figures to release first in September, and second in November. The first line will be a run of 6″ deluxe figures based on the comic. The figures will be Officer Rick Grimes, Michonne, Zombie Lurker, and Zombie Roamer.

Image Via MTV News

The second series releasing this November will include Deputy Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon, Zombie Walker and, Zombie Biter. These 6″ deluxe figures will be based on the AMC TV series first season.

Whichever brought you to be a Walking Dead Fan be it TV, comic, or both. These figures look to make a great collectible or desk decoration. I for one plan to order a complete set of series one to adorn my office. In 7 short months my angry internet ramblings can be accompanied by plastic zombies, yeah I’m on board.

They can be pre-ordered or as a set for $55.99 or individually at $14.99 through Entertainment Earth.

Image Via MTV News

McFarlane Toys has also been contacted for additional comments and we’ll let you know what we hear back. Full press release below!

MTV Splash Page released the full press release earlier today, and here it is for your zombie craving robot-eyes:

McFarlane Toys to Bring “THE WALKING DEAD” Action Figure Lines to Fans Worldwide

Collectibles from AMC’s original TV Series and Robert Kirkman’s Bestselling Comic Coming Fall 2011

Tempe, Ariz.— February 10, 2011 – In one the most creative action figure collaborations of 2011, McFarlane Toys announced today two separate deals concerning the licensing rights of “The Walking Dead.” The first is with AMC to create action figures based on the original series that premiered on the network in October of last year. The second is with Robert Kirkman to also create action figures based on the comic-book series created by him. This is the first time action figures have been produced and both lines are available to retailers this Fall.

“Kirkman has created a world that is macabre and suspenseful with deeply-drawn characters: both human and zombies,” said Todd McFarlane, McFarlane Toys, creative force and CEO. “Working with the creative talents of Kirkman and AMC, we have planned figures lines that authentically represent both the television and comic series – including mind-blowing details, likenesses and play action. We want to push the envelope so that the true essence of ‘The Walking Dead’ series is captured.”

The first series of deluxe 6-inch figures is releasing in September 2011, includes four fan-favorite characters from the Image comic book including:

THE WALKING DEAD Series 1
Officer Rick Grimes
Michonne
Zombie Lurker
Zombie Roamer

The second series of deluxe 6-inch figures is revealed in November 2011 and introduces four figures based on AMC’s original drama including:

THE WALKING DEAD Series 2
Deputy Rick Grimes
Daryl Dixon
Zombie Walker
Zombie Biter

Each human figure includes multiple interchangeable accessories and several points of articulation for limitless possibility and customization. Each zombie figure features unique, gory, play action such as exploding heads and removable limbs. Figures are expected to sell for around $14.99 at retailers nationwide.

“I simply cannot contain my excitement over working with McFarlane Toys,” said Robert Kirkman, creator of “The Walking Dead” comic-book series. “For nearly two decades McFarlane Toys have proven themselves to be leading the pack when it comes to making cool looking, innovative toys, and I’m thrilled that they’re going to continue to do so with ‘The Walking Dead.”

AMC’s “The Walking Dead” is based on the comic book series written by Robert Kirkman and published by Image Comics. The series tells the story of the months and years that follow after a zombie apocalypse. It follows a group of survivors, led by police officer Rick Grimes, who travel in search of a safe and secure home. The comic goes on to explore the challenges of life in a world overrun by zombies who take a toll on the survivors, and sometimes the interpersonal conflicts present a greater danger to their continuing survival than the zombies that roam the country. Over time, the characters are changed by the constant exposure to death and some grow willing to do anything to survive. AMC’s “The Walking Dead” attracted 3.5 million adults in the 18-49 demo making it the most watched drama series in basic cable history for the demo. The series was nominated for a Golden Globe for Best Television Series – Drama.

Have you ever wanted to drive around like a Dalek? Well now you can! That is… your children can. In this electronic “Ride-In” Dalek. This toy stands at 128 cm tall and is powered by a 6v battery. It features 10 different Dalek sounds and phrases, along with being able to steer it in a full 360 degrees. I wish they made these in grown up sizes! It might still be worth it to get one and squeeze into it. Zappies, a distributor in the UK, will be the exclusive distributors for this awesome toy which is available here.

Hasbro has been kind enough to send over a list of all their store exclusive toys for 2010 with pictures and what not.  I understand the marketing for the stores for these, but it sucks for some people to have to shop at certain stores to get toys.  I avoid shopping at these stores until they allow their employees to unionize, so it’s not the best situation, but I’m glad the toys are coming.

It’s a real shame that some of them are Wal-Mart exclusives, because I will definitely not shop there, and some of these toys are really cool.  In fact, I really want that Jabba’s Throne room.

I’m also very interested in the Legacy of Grievous set.  You can see from the pictures that we see him in his pre-cyborg form and I’m interested to learn more about that.

Here’s the list.  Check the slideshow below for pictures:

STAR WARS® JABBA’S THRONE
(Approximate Retail Price: $38.88/Retailer: Wal-Mart) – In Stores Now
Bring your favorite STAR WARS stories to “life” with this detailed JABBA’S THRONE set. Place your JABBA THE HUTT™ and SALACIOUS CRUMB™ figures on the throne to watch as your Twi’lek dancer OOLA™ figure performs. Use JABBA’S poseable tail to show his approval for the dance—or move SALACIOUS CRUMB to indicate his master’s displeasure! . Then, set the crime lord and his henchman back on the throne to await his next sinister appointment.

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ MALEVOLENCE COLLECTION
(Approximate Retail Price: $15.97/Retailer: Wal-Mart) – In Stores Now
Collect all three of the STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS DVD and two figure packs.  The RISING MALEVOLENCE set includes AHSOKA™ and PLO KLOON™ figures, the SHADOW OF MALEVOLENCE set includes ANAKIN SKYWALKER™ and MATCHSTICK figures, and the DESTROY MALEVOLENCE set includes OBI-WAN KENOBI™ and GENERAL GRIEVOUS™ figures.  Each set also includes a DVD and CLONE WARS GALACTIC BATTLE GAME™ cards. Each set sold separately.

STAR WARS® KIT FISTO’S JEDI STARFIGHTER™
(Approximate Retail Price: $24.97/Retailer: Wal-Mart) – In Stores Now
Launch yourself into action with this awesome KIT FISTO’S JEDI STARFIGHTER vehicle! This amazing starfighter splits into two separate vehicles — making it one very versatile fighter. The launching projectile accessories on both versions make them a threat to any Separatist fighters they encounter. Fit a droid figure in the droid socket and a figure in the cockpit (figures sold separately) and blast off for adventure!

STAR WARS® IMPERIAL TIE BOMBER™
(Approximate Retail Price: $38.97/Retailer: Wal-Mart) – Coming to stores in December, soar into a battle of epic proportions! This IMPERIAL TIE BOMBER vehicle features the firepower and the intricate details to make the action feel as realistic as possible. Put a figure (sold separately) into the highly detailed cockpit and prepare to blast into battle. Once you’ve spotted the enemy below, drop the bomb accessories from the bay. Are enemy starfighters heading your way? Fire the missile accessory to protect yourself. If they just keep coming, you’ve got no choice: use your removable ejection seat to take your pilot to safety! But don’t forget — as soon as one battle is over, the next one begins!

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ FIGURE 4-PACKS WITH DVD
(Approximate Retail Price: $24.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Collect both sets of these STAR WARS: THECLONE WARS figure 4-packs!  The first set, based on characters from the animated series episode “The Hidden Enemy,” includes four CLONE TROOPER™ figures prepared to follow you into even the fiercest of battles. Led by your courageous CAPTAIN REX™ figure, your CLONE TROOPER™ SLICK, CLONE TROOPER™ CHOPPER and CLONE TROOPER™ GUS figures will give it their all.

The second set, based on characters from the animated series episode “Hostage Crisis,” includes four BOUNTY HUNTER™ figures: the sinister SHAHAN ALAMA™, ROBONINO™ and two COMMANDO DROID™ figures.  Each set (sold separately) includes a BOUNTY HUNTERS DVD.

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ FIGURE 2-PACKS
(Approximate Retail Price: 14.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Collect both sets of these figure 2-packs from THE CLONE WARS!  One set includes CAD BANE™ and IG-86™ action figures and the other includes the SENATE COMMANDO™ CAPTAIN and SENATE COMMANDO™ figures.  Arm your warriors with their blaster accessories so that they’re ready to charge into combat against their fiercest enemies. Whether fighting for the fate of the galaxy or standing at attention in your collection, these awesome action figures put all of the excitement of the STAR WARS saga right in the palm of your hand!  Each set (sold separately) of two figures come with blaster accessories, 2 Galactic Battle Game™ cards, 2 battle bases and game die.

STAR WARS® MINI MUGGS 3-PACKS
(Approximate Retail Price: $12.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Collect all three sets of the new STAR WARS MINI MUGGS!  Big heads mean big adventure with these three packs of MINI MUGGS figures based on STAR WARS characters. Your YODA™, DARTH VADER™ and STORMTROOPER™ figures are all set to fight it out, even if their chunky bodies don’t do their battle skills justice. This stylized trio of warriors may be short in stature, but they’re giants of sheer awesomeness! Other three packs include BOSSK™, BOBA FETT™, and IG-88™ and the third includes CAD BANE™, GENERAL GRIEVOUS™, and CAPTAIN REX™. Each set sold separately.

STAR WARS® VINTAGE VEHICLE ASSORTMENT
(Approximate Retail Price: $24.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Collect a piece of saga history with both of these STAR WARS Vintage vehicles!  The incredibly detailed IMPERIAL TIE FIGHTER™ and REBEL ARMORED SNOWSPEEDER™ vehicles are both modeled after the vehicles from the classic THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK™ film and come in reproductions of the same packaging that the original vehicles were released in.  The TIE FIGHTER™ features wing panel accessories and a removable cockpit seat, while the SNOWSPEEDER™ features a landing skid and interchangeable firing and non-firing cannons and harpoon cannons that add even more drama to the action.  Each vehicle sold separately.

STAR WARS® HOTH™ BATTLE PACKS
(Approximate Retail Price: $39.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Stage a battle of epic proportions with these two STAR WARS HOTH BATTLE PACKS!  With your ATTACK ON HOTH battle set, use the AT-ST™ vehicle (with AT-ST™ DRIVER) to stride across the grounds toward Echo Base.  On the ground, two SNOWTROOPERS™ slam the Rebel base with laser fire from an E-Web heavy repeating blaster. Use your DEFENSE OF HOTH battle set to try to defend the base.  K-3PO™ and two REBEL TROOPERS™ blast the enemy from the laser towers that ring the base, and fire anti-vehicle cannons and medium repeating blasters at the SNOWTROOPERS and AT-ST walkers.  With all of this firepower, there’s no telling who will win this fight!

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ NIKTO™ SKIFF GUARD Figure
(Approximate Retail Price: $7.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now
PUKO NAGA™ is a NIKTO SKIFF GUARD in JABBA THE HUTT’S™ palace. With his fellow guards, he protects the crime lord from his many victims and disgruntled associates. Thousands of years ago, the NIKTO swore their allegiance to the HUTTS, and they still carry out this pledge by working as guards, warriors and henchmen for the HUTTS. Figure comes with weapon accessories, Galactic Battle Game™ card, battle base and game die.

STAR WARS® LEGACY OF THE DARK SIDE FIGURE 2-PACKS
(Approximate Retail Price: $14.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now
Collect all three of the LEGACY OF THE DARK SIDE figure 2-packs!  In the first set, your ANAKIN SKYWALKER™ figure begins his journey as a heroic fighter, wielding his lightsaber accessory to fight for the forces of good. Your DARTH VADER™ figure is who the young fighter becomes after he has abandoned justice and given himself over to the dark side.

In the second set, your young BOBA FETT™ figure begins his journey as a young child, wielding his blaster accessory in anger over his father’s death. Your BOBA FETT bounty hunter figure is who the young orphan becomes after his grief has turned him into the galaxy’s most feared bounty hunter.

In the third set, your PRE-CYBORG GRIEVOUS™ figure begins his journey as powerful fighter, wielding his blaster accessory against his enemies. Your GENERAL GRIEVOUS™ figure is who he becomes after the character has been “re-built.”

STAR WARS® DARTH VADER VOICE™ CHANGER HELMET
(Approximate Retail Price: $34.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now
Gear up for galactic adventures and strap on this DARTH VADER™ VOICE CHANGER HELMET with realistic sound effects and real character phrases from the movies! Three different modes put you right in the thick of battle: activate the voice changer to make your voice sound just like DARTH VADER’S, press the button for phrases straight from the movies, or press the “breathing” button to hear the character’s famous breathing sounds. Easy-to-adjust straps allow you to fit the helmet comfortably on your head – and storm your way toward total galaxy domination!

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ THE RISE OF BOBA FETT™ ULTIMATE BATTLE PACK
(Approximate Retail Price: $99.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now
Create an all-out battle on the ground with these five detailed figures and then take the battle to the skies with the two starships! Pit your heroic MACE WINDU™, ANAKIN SKYWALKER™, and R8-B7 figures up against the villainous power of your BOBA FETT™ and BOSSK™ figures. When the action is too much to contain, take off in BOBA FETT’S SLAVE I™ starship. Featuring a pivoting cockpit and wings, bomb-dropping action, firing cannons that turn 360 degrees and a detention cell to hold figures, this vehicle is definitely a menace in the skies. Fit your MACE WINDU figure into his JEDI STARFIGHTER™ vehicle’s opening cockpit and blast off after the bounty hunter villain. The JEDI STARFIGHER vehicle separates into two vehicles with a droid socket for your DROID figure to sit and a firing projectile launcher on the scout fighter vehicle. The two vehicles and five fearsome fighters are well-matched — but only you can decide who’ll win the battle!

STAR WARS® AT-AT™

(Approximate Retail Value: $99.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now

The AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport) played a significant role in the Empire’s military assault in THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK™, and it will play an equally important role in every fan’s toy collection this year!  Measuring more than 24 inches tall and nearly 28 inches long, this colossal vehicle holds up to 20 STAR WARS figures (one figure included – other figures sold separately) and includes so many play and electronic features true to its on-screen counterpart that it’s hard to believe!  From trooper deployment lines in its body and articulated legs for superb poseability, to its LED lights and authentic movie sounds and phrases, this is the a fantastic addition for STAR WARS fans of all ages. Includes one 3 ¾ inch AT-AT driver action figure and a pop-out speeder bike. To celebrate the 30th anniversary of THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK, the Toys R Us exclusive version features a replica of the original AT-AT packaging.

STAR WARS® GEONOSIS™ ARENA SHOWDOWN BATTLE PACKS
(Approximate Retail Price: $12.99/Retailer: Target) – In Stores Now
Collect all 6 of the Geonosis Arena Showdown Battle Packs!  Set 1 includes OBI-WAN KENOBI™ and a SUPER BATTLE DROID™, set 2 includes RODIAN JEDI™ and BATTLE DROID™, set 3 includes ANAKIN SKYWALKER™ and DROIDEKA™, set 4 includes SHAAK TI™ and a GEONOSIAN™ WARRIOR, set 5 includes NICANAS TASSU™ and COUNT DOOKU™, and set 6 includes R2-D2™ and C-3PO™ with Battle Droid head.  Each set sold separately.

STAR WARS® KUL TESKA™ Figure
(Approximate Retail Price: $14.99/Retailer: Toys R Us) – In Stores Now
As seen in STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS: REPUBLIC HEROES video game!  KUL TESKA is a villainous Skakoan scientist working for the Separatists during the Clone Wars. Because his home planet of Skako has an extremely dense atmosphere, he wears a protective suit to survive in low-pressure environments on other worlds. His specially designed armored suit has integrated rocket launchers and concealed shoulder blasters.

STAR WARS® JODO KAST™ Figure
(Approximate Retail Price: $8.99/Retailer: Kmart) – In Stores Now
In the comic “BOBA FETT: TWIN ENGINES OF DESTRUCTION,” JODO KAST is a bounty hunter who wears Mandalorian armor. He pretends to be BOBA FETT™ to take advantage of Fett’s reputation as the galaxy’s most notorious bounty hunter. However, the real BOBA FETT  is not flattered by Kast’s impersonation and makes plans to stop him.

STAR WARS®: THE CLONE WARS™ CLONE COMMANDO™ SQUAD 4-pack
(Approximate Retail Price: 24.99/Retailer: Kmart) – In Stores Now
The CLONE COMMANDO SQUAD comes with CAPTAIN REX™, ARF TROOPER™, CLONE PILOT™, and CLONE TROOPER™ with Space Gear.  Elite troopers are part of the Republic’s huge army of cloned super commandos. As the war progresses, specialized units are created to carry out operations in addition to ground combat. CAPTAIN REX is ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S™ second in command during the Clone Wars and commands the renowned 501st Legion. ADVANCED RECON FORCE (ARF) TROOPERS go on reconnaissance missions to gather information about the enemy. CLONE PILOTS are experts in the cockpits of gunships, transports and starfighters. CLONE TROOPERS wear special breathing gear when the battle takes them into the vacuum of space to breach enemy vessels.

STAR WARS® VINTAGE FIGURE9-pack
(Approximate Retail Price: $49.99/Retailer: Target) – Coming to stores the end of November
Relive the excitement that began 30 years ago!  Bring home these updated versions of figures from THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK™. This VINTAGE FIGURE 9-pack includes the IMPERIAL set (4-LOM™, AT-AT™ DRIVER, and IMPERIAL TIE FIGHTER™ PILOT), whose goal is to seek and destroy all Rebel Forces in the galaxy, THE BESPIN™ ALLIANCE (BESPIN™ WING GUARD, LANDO CALRISSIAN™, and LUKE SKYWALKER™), and the HOTH™ REBELS (HAN SOLO™, HOTH REBEL TROOPER™, and FX-7™), who defend the secret Hoth Rebel base against insurmountable odds.

Hasbro has been kind enough to give us a look at some of their upcoming toys in the Star Wars line.

I must say, I’m completely in love with the vintage blistercards. In fact, that Admiral Ackbar figure must be owned by me. My first vintage figure I ever got was a carded Ackbar that I proceeded to open as quickly as possible. It was 1985, and I was 5 years old, so of course I needed to open it, but still. I did that with all of the action figures from the Droids cartoon. It’s a shame though, I still have my Ackbar, but I lost all of my Droids figures over the years.

I’m pretty in love with the furry pants on that Gamorrean, too.

What I’m not a fan of are these Transformers crossover toys. They literally make me angry with rage.

In any case, sound off about your favorites.

This Saturday, September 18th, is sure to be a big day for one of the best local comic shops in Salt Lake City. Dr Volts Comics has prided itself on being a top notch store for 20 years now and to celebrate they are having a huge sale and signing. They are located at 2043 E 3300 S in Salt Lake City. Here is the official press release with all the details:

For immediate release

Dr. Volts Comics is celebrating its 20^th year in business Saturday, Sept. 18

To mark the occasion, there will be an all-day sale (during normal store hours). All merchandise in the store (comic books, magazines, toys, gaming supplies, t-shirts and more) will be discounted 20% off or more, in honor of the anniversary.

The store will also host guest signings by:

— Jeff Parker (writer, Atlas, Thunderbolts, Mysterius the Unfathomable)

— Gabriel Hardman (artist, Atlas, Weird War Tales)

— Derek Hunter (writer/artist, Pirate Club, Lobster Ladd, Derek Hunter is a F**k)

— Jake Black (writer, TV’s Smallville, WWE Entertainment, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Parker and Hardman are also the incoming writer-artist team on Marvel Comics’ monthly Hulk title.

Locally based costume troupe Mandalorian Mercs (Star Wars) will also make an appearance (and be on-hand for photo opportunities), and the Geek Show Podcast will be recording episodes live from the store as well.

The signings and appearances will be from noon to 3 p.m., and the sale will run from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. The day’s event are intended as  fun for comics, science-fiction and fantasy fans of all ages.

Animetrix Neon Genesis Evangelion Eva-01 Purple Figure
Japanese Import, Made in China
Year: Unknown
Scale: 7inches

Today we’ll be looking at “Ikari Shinj’s Eva-Unit” from one of my favorite animes, Neon Genesis Evangelion. For those non-anime fans, you might just want to look for the “dick jokes” during my review. Think of it like a crossword, but with sticky fingers.

Does this cheap figure hold up to the movie/series’ look? Yes, though there are lots better out for obviously more coin. Likable attributes include the following to get one’s own Eva unit…erected:

• Authentic coloring (Deep purple Eva-Unit with lime-green accents)
• Relevant accessories ( Plug for suit, long sniper rifle, knife, and machine gun)
• Pose able (smooth articulation for an affordable figure)

I really like the sturdy packaging on Shinji, my only quarrel would be it’s all written in Japanese and I can’t read a fuckin’ thing. Perhaps it does reveal the date that it was manufactured? Perhaps…not? Who the fuck cares! You don’t. Think of it like sex. You and I both know you’re lame as a limp dick in Lithuania. Doesn’t matter though, as long as you know you’re the fuckin’ bomb for 11-15 pumps. Those pumps say…”You like that?!” “Me too!!! Hold still before I, I, uuuhhhhh…..sorry babe.

I’m not sure this is the sort of toy to crack out when showing off your collection. I believe it’s the sort of thing you’d admire once you realize…”Fuck, when the hell did I get this?” “Why is this robot suit purple?” or my personal favorite “Do I have time to masturbate before my girlfriend comes home?” Highly recommended to collect these as a series all at once – only for the mere fact that if you purchase just one, chances are you’ll never give a shit to complete your collection.

McFarlane’s Monsters 2005 Series 4
Twisted Fairy Tales
Scale: 6inches
“Gretel”
www.spawn.com

McFarlane’s Monsters are some of the coolest/family friendly figures to collect. If you’re a sweet little Irish-catholic woman and you buy this for little Jimmy to play with… you’ll surely win a “Mother-of-the-Year” award. I guarantee it. Twisted Fairy Tales is a line of toys based off nursery rhyme characters and, you’ve guessed it, fairy tales. “Adult themed and horribly grotesque” best describes the six characters to choose from: Humpty Dumpty, Red Riding Hood, Miss Muffet, Peter Pumpkin Eater, Hansel, and finally, Gretel. In this review, I’ll be focusing on Gretel.

Gretel, as you can see, is very attractive in the, I-just-killed-my-mother sort of way. Her body is detailed very well. Her fish-nets bend to the contour of her posed leg. Going down, her pumps are covered in blood that she’s mopping up. I really enjoyed the henna tattoos all over her body. I find comfort in a candy-cane tribal tat on any female leg, don’t you?

The accessories are pretty straight forward. An old bucket with great colors and fades and a bloody mop. Both are colored extremely well for such a cheap figure. If you take a good look at the blood-pool you’ll notice a finger – or maybe it’s a penis – floating merrily in the blood.

Whether you’re a fan of minute details like blood stained knees, elbows, etc. or you just want to spice up your collectibles with blood and gore, have a bloody good time with Gretel and her ghastly gang. Collect all six! If you act now, I’ll even throw-in a dick joke… stayin’ classy as always bitches!!!

You can pick up Gretel and all the other fucked up Twisted Fairy Tale figures over at Amazon.com

Marvel Legends Showdown: Elektra
Made in China
Scale: 4inches
Release: 2006
www.toybiz.com

Marvel Legends has made some great six-inchers in the last few years (no dildo). Ok, like 10 years ago. Most have been sold on EBAY or AMAZON for a shit-ton of cash. I jumped on those bitches a little too late in the game, so I’ve had to work my way back. In 2006, Upper Deck Entertainment made these; a smaller, cheaper, fuckin’ awful version of the figures we all loved. Unlike the build-a-figure, (which was fucking retarded) these are “RPG” inspired?

Ever wondered what it would be like to play Dungeons & Dragons with your action figures? Now you can get your geek on with Marvel Legends Showdown. Pose your characters on cards, collect booster packs, and never have sexual-intercourse ever again!

Coming off my Pride Festival-high, I’ve decided to fucks with Marvel’s favorite drag queen: ELEKTRA!

She’s “super-poseable“, which means she breaks easy and her vagina is plastic (which, again, means she breaks easy). You ever try to fuck a 4 inch figure? …not an easy task. You’ll first notice her twisted/broken arm?! Not sure why she’s pre-posed like this, but it definitely compliments her masculine jaw. The painting is a disaster. The eyes were dotted black over a larger dot of a flat-white paint. Her lips have smudged dark red lipstick on them that only completes “Ninja Dyke’s” overall disgusting body.

The projectile shooter the figure is packaged with would be fun if you were shooting it while typing a review for a website you write for. Key word being “if”. Really though, who would sit down with you after purchasing 12 of these and get their RPG on?

If you decide to, let me know. I have all the “Booster-Packs” and my character-dedicated “Power-Bases” are to die for!