“Holyfuckingshit!” – Swank-mo-tron

You can also download the entire Green Lantern trailer in HD over at Apple’s movie trailers website.

Swank’s note: I think this looks really cool. The ultimate test, however, will be how it looks on the big screen. On a small monitor like this the suit and mask look reasonable to me, but blown up to fifty feet across? That’s the true test.

John Doe Amsterdam set out with a simple mission….to build a phone. Not just any phone, a phone that makes calls, tells you what number is calling, and then allows you to answer and hang up. In the Smart-Phone age we live in seeing a quad-band device this simple is almost comforting, and for me is strangely tempting. What’s not to love? it comes in white, brown, pink, black, or green and can last on standby for 3 weeks, the address book is a note pad that sits in a plastic compartment in the back, and a pen is stashed on the top right like a stylus for a palm, allowing you to “jot down numbers, or doodle, even if the battery is flat.”

Specifications

John’s Phone is an unlocked cell phone, making it compatible with the following types of SIM cards:

• Prepaid (Pay as You Go)
• (SIM only) contract phone
• National
• International

Network

The built-in quad band makes John’s Phone suitable for the world’s four main network frequencies. This means you can make and receive calls all over the world, except on the 3G networks in Japan and South Korea.

Antenna

John’s Phone has an integrated antenna for optimal performance.
Ringtone and Vibrate Function
John’s Phone has a single ringtone with three volume settings: loud, normal and silent. You can adjust the volume using the button on the left side of your Phone. The vibrate function works for all settings.

Address Book

The back of each John’s Phone features a flap with an address book behind it. The left of the flap contains an opening with a small pen: these two unique accessories allow you to update your address file at any time, even when your phone is switched off.

Caller Id

The top of John’s Phone features a small screen that displays inbound and outbound calls.

Battery

John’s phone is energy-efficient (1200 mAh), as it does not contain any energy-consuming features. The standby time is more than three weeks. If the battery is full, the right side of the screen features the word ‘JOHNS’. The lower the battery, the fewer letters will be displayed. If your battery is empty, the Phone first shows a ‘J’, followed by ‘LOW’.

Charging

You can charge John’s Phone either by plugging the adapter into an electrical outlet or by plugging the USB cable into your PC or laptop. The adapter and USB cable with a micro-USB connection are included with your John’s Phone. John’s Phone is half-charged on delivery. It is recommended that you charge the Phone completely before using it for the first time (the word ‘JOHNS’ in the display should be fully visible).

Speed-Dial Numbers

You can save 10 speed-dial numbers to your John’s Phone: one under each number key. For more information, please read the instructions in the quick manual.

Hands Free

A set of earphones is provided with each separate John’s Phone – these allow you to call hands-free while driving.

Dimensions

John’s Phone is 10.5 centimetres in height, 6 centimetres in length and 1.5 centimetres in width (4.1”/2.4”/0.6”). Weight: 95 grams.

Manufacturing

John’s Phone is manufactured from a high-quality plastic, making it resilient and water-resistant.

Over-all I believe this is an awesome simplification of cell phones, and isn’t a bad looking device either, they definitely got the simplicity side of design down. Judging by the drop down box in their shopping cart the device cannot ship to the U.S. yet (unless you’re in the Virgin Islands) John Doe Amsterdam has been contacted for information and comments, but has not yet replied. Check the device out below, or read more on their site.

Vivid Entertainment, the company that brought us the Batman XXX and the forthcoming Star Wars XXX, released today the cover image and some more info about their pornographic take on The Incredible Hulk.

Obviously this is very Bill Bixby inspired.

From their press release:

LOS ANGELES – (November 15, 2010) – Vivid Entertainment, the world’s leading adult movie studio, is releasing the cover art for its eagerly awaited upcoming production of The Incredible Hulk: A XXX Porn Parody as part of its SuperXXXHeroes series.

The studio has already started production on the project, which will be a send-up of the iconic television series from the 1970s and 80s that was based on the Marvel comic book character of the same name. The movie will be directed by award-winning B. Skow, known for his best-selling Brand New Faces series.

Vivid said veteran adult actor Lee Stone, will play the Hulk character. Dale Dabone, who played the lead in Batman XXX: A Porn Parody, distributed by Vivid, will co-star in the Hulk parody as the lead character’s alter ego, Dr. Bruce Banner.

The SuperXXXHeroes parodies from Vivid spoof some of the world’s most popular comic heroes. Vivid Founder/Co-chairman Steven Hirsch notes, “These projects are moving forward rapidly. Axel Braun has already started pre-production on a parody of Superman. Along with The Incredible Hulk we plan to do parodies of The Green Hornet, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Captain America and Thor as part of the new imprint.”

I think these are hilarious and actually feature better filmmaking than pretty much any porno I’ve ever witnessed.

What do you guys think about all these?

I’m not familiar with the comic, Cowboys and Aliens (I know, ‘bad geek! bad!’), but everyone tends to describe it as “a classic western, but with aliens mixed in.” Okay . . .

Here’s what I do know, it’s a film based off a comic book, has something to do with cowboys and aliens, it’s directed by Jon Favreau, and stars Daniel Craig, Harrison Ford, and Olivia Wilde. Can I just give them my $8.50 now?

Also, the new poster is vague, but pretty bad ass none-the-less.

I’m not a big Halloween fan – never have been. So the effort that I have ever put into a costume has been minimal to say the least. Then, there’s the other end of the spectrum, like Shawn Thorsson of Petaluma, California, who – along with some buddies – took 3 years to create these awesome Spartan costumes from Halo. That’s some dedication, and the end result is awesome to say the least. Thorsson writes on his blog:

Not long after Halloween 2007, I was sitting around with a group of friends and having a drink when the question came up, “what should we do for Halloween next year?”

Of all the ideas that came up, the one that struck a chord with me was the idea of building a suit of Halo armor, making a mold, casting a few copies, painting them different colors, and going out dressed as the characters from Red vs. Blue.

Fast forward three years, two ships, and one war and who knows how much money and I finally managed to get it done.

You can check out all that went into making these amazing replica costumes over at Thorsson’s blog, When My Brain Leaks, the Drops Drip Here, (with pictures!) and I definitely encourage you to do so – it’s quite the thing to behold.

So… this is awesome… really… very… awesome…

I dig how the music doesn’t fit Star Wars in the slightest… (minus the lyrics of course)

For those of you that loathed X-Men Origins: Wolverine, we have a little bit of good news (and maybe some renewed hope?) for you this morning.

HitFix recently spoke to the director about his latest film, Black Swan, and conversation briefly turned to the next Wolverine movie:

The film that he’s directing is officially called “The Wolverine,” and there won’t be a number attached to it. In our interview, he referred to the movie as a “one-off,” and he emphasized that the film isn’t a sequel in any conventional sense.

I like this. Aronofsky just taking the character and doing the movie based of Claremont and Miller’s graphic novel as he see’s fit – disregarding the previous films before it. Aronofsky is a fine director and I’m curious to see what kind of Wolverine movie we get out of him.

So what about all of you out there in BSR land? Does this renew any speck of faith you may have left in you that we may finally get a good Wolverine movie? Or are you convinced that anything a studio spits out about this character is just going to be shit? Sound off in the comments below or head on over to the BSR Forum!

This week’s Clone Wars, ‘Hunt For Ziro’, represents what it probably the end of the arc of Ziro the Hutt in The Clone Wars. He’s been busted out of jail by Cad Bane and has been delivered to the Hutt Council, where he’s put in prison. He’s promptly broken out by Sy Snootles (of all people) and taken on journey, followed closely by Bane and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jedi Quinlan Vos.

This episode had just about anything I could want in an episode of Clone Wars.

It opened up with an hilarious nod to Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, with Sy Snootles singing a Huttese equivalent of Willie Scott’s Chinese version of ‘Anything Goes’ and gets straight into a chase.

This episode offered us insights into a lot things I was curious about, a lot of things I wasn’t so curious about but glad to know, and plenty of other stuff in between.

First off, this gave us a glimpse of the Hutts and their homeworld Nal Hutta, which reminded me of a swampy Blade Runner version of New Orleans. The musical numbers were loud (and surprisingly sexy), the music and flair was that of a cool jazz, and it hearkened back to both the original cantina band music and Sy Snootles’ original Lapti Nek number. And it doesn’t bother me one bit that she was involved romantically with Ziro the Hutt.

Obi-Wan and Quinlan Vos are on their trail, and Vos is considered by his peers to be crazy. He reminds me of a mix between Qui-Gon Jinn and The Dude. He even quoted The Dude once (That’s just your opinion, man.) He was a fun character and I’d like to see more of him, just like I’d like to see more of Cad Bane. Their fight was most impressive and doubles my respect for Bane and his skills. It also makes my respect for Obi-Wan drop a little… How many times does he get beaten to a standstill by a Bounty Hunter like Bane or Jango? And what was so different about General Grievous in Revenge of the Sith?

There was much to do made behind Gardulla the Hutt’s appearance in the series, but I really couldn’t care less about that controversy. (On a sidenote, the reason my review was so late was because I was attending a writers retreat, four or five of us got together to critique each others prose. One of the attending writers was Aaron Allston, who writes Star Wars novels for Del Rey, and he offered me his perspective on it, explaining that anyone who plays in the EU knows that they’re playing with Lucas’ toys and know that George can back up out of the driveway over the toys at any time and they don’t take it personally, fans shouldn’t either.)

The thing that I was by far and away the most impressed with this episode was the animation. The cloth moved beautifully, the costumes were incredible (the girls with Hutt masks were fantastic), the alien creatures moved believably, the Gammoreans were some of the coolest looking characters the show has ever had… It was just top notch across the board.

And the way the show is starting to connect the prequel era with the classic era always puts a smile on my face.

Overall, this was a strong episode and better than at least most of this season, so far. The story wasn’t as well paced as I would have liked to see, but the impressive animation and fun of the opening was more than enough to make up for it.

If you read the Spider-Man titles at all, you know that Paul Tobin has re-christened the character of Araña. She is now known as Spider-Girl. This is all well and good, and judging by the first couple stories, it’s a fun, well thought out series. My initial reaction to the name change was very vitriolic, though. The reason for this is that Marvel has (or had, I guess) a character named Spider-Girl for over 10 years! This is a character saved numerous times from cancellation by some truly devoted fans, of which I consider myself in their number. While I have gotten over my initial animosity for the ‘new’ Spider-Girl, and even though it seems like my Spider-Girl is gone for good, I feel it’s my duty to introduce people who may not be familiar with May “Mayday” Parker, the daughter of Spider-Man. Without further introductions, let’s dive right into the Secret Origin of… Spider-Girl!

Our story opens at a high school basketball game, the Midtown High Girls’ Basketball Team is facing a tough match against the Hollis Court Crusaders. All of a sudden, our narrator is telling us how the tides turned. All of a sudden, she is able to jump higher than ever to score a rebound, and as she makes her way down the court, a “strange tingling” seems to be telling her how to instinctively dodge her way to the basket making a truly spectacular, amazing, and maybe even “web of” dunk:

And that life is full of horrid dialog.

From the rafters, a shocked Peter and Mary Jane Parker discuss the repercussions of what has just happened. They ultimately decide to let things go and congratulate their daughter, even though an ominous shadow indicates that they wont being to keep the lid on things for long.

Ominous shadows aside, we'll learn Peter's goatee is the sanest hair choice in the book.

After the game, May is cavorting with her pals, which shows she straddles the line between her father’s introverted high school days and her mother’s outgoing nature. A young lady who can interact with both jocks and nerds? It truly is the future. Soon after, Pete and MJ and taking a moonlit walk, and they recap the untold tale of Spider-Man that culminated in the end of both Spider-Man and the original Green Goblin. It costs the Goblin his life, and Peter lost a leg. Finally realizing that his ultimate responsibility is to his family. Because of this, they thought it was unimportant to tell May about the sordid past. Looks like that will all change soon. Before you know it, May is off with her friend when suddenly, a pumpkin bomb comes out of nowhere! Only May’s newfound reflexes save her and her companions. Their attacker soon reveals himself and gives May an ultimatum:

"We Goblins aren't that creative, you see."

May is oblivious as to why such a villainous guy as the Goblin would want with her dad, She relates the news to MJ and Peter, and there is a the requisite freak out. The initial shock subsides and May is told to make sure her comrades are ok while Pete makes a few calls. Peter finds out that this particular Goblin is most likely Norman “Normie” Osborn, the grandson of the original. Peter and Mary Jane have yet another talk, but don’t take into account that May is eavesdropping. Peter says the “S” word and May’s life is changed forever.

"Does this mean technically, I'm a mutant? Awww, man..."

We leave May with her thoughts and cut to an undisclosed Goblin lair, as Normie pontificates to himself the depths of his hatred for Spider-Man, and by extension the Parker family. He lives for this, his final revenge. Really, it even says so on his chest.

Mock the OzMullet, he dares you.

While Peter explores avenues to protect his family, such as visiting the Fantastic Five and the “Avengers”, May explores her powers in the school gymnasium like a good Spider-Person should.

This isn't necessary to show you, I just love Spidey after-image shots.

Anyway, after this quick interlude, May confronts her mother with the truth and wants to know it all, as she feels she is entitled. Mary Jane takes her to the attic where she tells May about the end of Spider-Man’s career and why they thought it prudent to keep May from the truth. Mother and daughter reconcile, when all of a sudden May finds a different Spider-Man costume than what she’s used to seeing.

And I heard he made awesome rice, as well.

Let me take a step back here and just say I think it’s completely awesome that not only is the clone saga referenced here, it is a very clever way to give May her own “Uncle Ben”. Regardless of how you may or may not feel about Ben Reilly, that is a stroke of genius. Meanwhile, Peter has run out of avenues to pursue assistance, so he arrives at “the bridge” and is promptly attacked by Normie. Normie, who is obviously off his meds, is disappointed that Peter isn’t in his fighting togs. Peter tries to explain that Spider-Man died along with the original Green Goblin, but our young Mr. Osborn is having none of it. He threatens Pete, who is prepared to defend his family at any cost, and reveals he’s packing. Mary Jane arrives on the scene and implores Normie to put Peter down. Norman scoffs and crushes Peter’s gun, so I guess the old Goblin formula is still great at enhancing both strength and madness. Norman grabs MJ and once again gives with the threat until he gets Spider-Man. Then, suddenly, he gets his wish, kind of.

No snark here. This is an awesome splash.

Now the fight begins in earnest. Peter and MJ are forced to watch from the sidelines as Spider-Girl fights for all of their lives. It’s clear she’s pretty inexperienced, and the Goblin seems to have the advantage. During the course of the fight, May web swings for the first time, declaring it to be a bigger rush than basketball, even given the circumstances. May is savvy enough to keep Normie talking throughout the battle. She may not quip like her father, but she does eventually get into Normie’s head until he makes a huge mistake in judgment.

"All part of my plan, Spider-Girl HAHAH... Oh Wait."

The bomb does indeed ignite and as Normie falls from the sky into the path of an oncoming semi, May does the honorable thing and saves his life, proving her legacy and heroism. And while she’s all honorable and heroic and the whole nine, this guy did just try to slaughter her family, so as he bungees back to her due to web line recoil:

Cool move, but I still hate that line.

After this, Normie is hauled off to jail and all is well and good. We cut to the Parker’s backyard where all traces of the spider legacy are burned, left to live in the past where they belong, or so we think. Even though on the surface May agrees to bury the past, she’s had a taste of destiny and we’re assured that the career of Spider-Girl isn’t over yet!

And that’s the origin. I would normally end my article here, but I wanted to give this origin a bit of a postscript. As you may or may not know, this story was originally published in What If? #105. The response to the story was so overwhelming, that Spider-Girl soon got her own ongoing series. You might think this is unheard of, but the same thing happened to her dad when he appeared in Amazing Fantasy #15. Coincidence?

Anyway, our girl May went on to appear in two ongoing series, a few mini series and a handful of annuals. The trials and tribulations of her publishing history are well documented elsewhere on the web, but let me just say that passionate fans are the best fans. And I am sure sometime in the future one of those fans may well bring Spider-Girl back to slam heat all over again!

Welcome back to the second week of Convention Sketches!

We feature a convention sketch here every week.  We’ve got a whole pile of our own, but we want to see yours, too. Email us convention sketches you want to show off and let us know what website you’d like credited for it.  (bigshinyrobot(at)gmail.com)

This week, we  have a Mary Marvel from Todd Nauck (JLA World Without Grownups, among others) .  This comes from Shazbot’s collection.