Add this to my long list of movies I can’t wait to see this year.
I love the Muppets and have for all remembered time. Jason Segal has always been an X factor for me on this project, since I can take him or leave him. “I Love You Man” was pretty boring and by the numbers and I haven’t really seen him in anything else. But anything that brings The Muppets back to the big screen (except a Pirate movie) is good news in my book. Although it was panned, I quite loved “Muppets From Space” and if this is a return to form at that level or higher, I’ll be pleased as punch.
This marketing campaign is interesting. I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that the setup isn’t going to be in the final film at all.
It doesn’t matter, though.
It’s the Muppets and I want them on my theatre screen.
The Archie people were gracious enough to send us the solicitiations of the books they’re shipping in August. There is some interesting stuff coming down the pike. A few standouts include The Best of Archie softcover, a cheap trade with a bunch of classic stories inside with a whopping 416 pages! We also have the return of The Man for R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. For video game fans, we see the continuation of the Sonic: Genesis storyline which continues to have awesome throwback covers. Over in Mega Man, we get the first appearance of Time Man, who previously had only shown up in the Mega Man: Powered Up game for the PSP. These things along with the usual Archie suspects means we’re going to have an Absolutely Alliterative Amazing Archie August!
ARCHIE #624“GEEK FACE-OFF!”
Dilton reunites with his former best friend from tech camp, Mark Zuckerberg, to dispute his right to Facebook in court. Even though the judge rules in Dilton’s favor, the Blossom twins own 99% of the profits. Once the air is cleared, Dilton and Mark are friends again and the tide has turned in their favor.
SCRIPT: Dan Parent
ARTIST: Dan Parent, Jack Morelli
COVER: Dan Parent
Shipping Date: 8/10/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/24/2011
Newsstands: Week of 8/30/2011
Comic, 32 pgs, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
ARCHIE & FRIENDS #157 “THE MAN FROM R.I.V.E.R.D.A.L.E. – THE NOSE KNOWS!” & “ENTER THE DEMON”
P.O.P. operatives A.R.C.H.I.E., R.E.G.G.I.E., and J.U.G.H.E.A.D. face off against the infamous C.R.U.S.H. agent Dr. Nose after he subdues Pop and captures V.E.R.O.N.I.C.A. In this thrilling story, the gang must battle explosive robots and corporate espionage to save the day! Dr. Demon is up to no good again in “Enter the Demon,” but can he get to Lodge Industries’ secret weapon before P.O.P. does?
SCRIPT: Frank Doyle
ARTIST: Bob White, Mario Acquaviva, Sal Contrera
COVER: Bob White
Shipping Date: 8/3/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/17/2011
Newsstands: Week of 8/23/2011
Comic, 32 pages, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
ARCHIE & FRIENDS DOUBLE DIGEST #8 “PUREHEART THE POWERFUL EVILHEART’S REVENGE”
Who would have thought Reggie could get any worse than he already is? Archie’s Pureheart is faced with the battle of his life when Evilheart faces off against him to win the affections of Betty and Veronica.
SCRIPT: Frank Doyle
ARTIST: Bob White, Mario Acquaviva
COVER: Barry Grossman
Shipping Date: 8/10/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/24/2010
Newsstands: Week of 8/23/2011
Digest, 160 pages, 30 lb. newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #221 “BALL IN THE HALL,”“COMP-EATING,”“E-CON-NOMICS,” & “PHONE A FRIEND”
In “Ball in the Hall,” Archie and Sayid search the school for the prankster behind the dangerous bouncing ball. Jughead races through a hotdog contest in “Comp-Eating” only to walk away when he’s almost at the finish line. Even though Archie wants to win, ol’ Jughead is in it for something else entirely. It’s hard to make it in the comics business, and as Chuck and Archie learn in “E-Con-Nomics,” you have to stay away from the merchandise if you hope to profit from your own. Be careful, Archie. With the arrival of his new smart phone/“best friend” in “Phone a Friend,” it might not be long before there’s no one left in Riverdale to call.
SCRIPT: Tom DeFalco, J. Torres
ARTIST: Gisele, Pat Kennedy
COVER: Pat Kennedy
Shipping Date: 8/3/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/17/2011
Newsstands: Week of 8/23/2011
Digest, 160 pgs, 30 lb newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
B&V FRIENDS DOUBLE DIGEST #217 “That Suits Me Fine!”
A day at the beach for Betty and Veronica quickly turns into a fashion competition when Betty’s homemade swimsuit grabs all the attention. With Veronica left in the shadows, she decides to reverse the situation and creates a bathing suit of her own. Too bad no one told Ronnie glue is not an acceptable substitute for needle and thread before she ran into the ocean.
SCRIPT: Mike Pellowski
ARTIST: Fernando Ruiz, Jim Amash, Barry Grossman
COVER: Dan DeCarlo
Shipping Date: 8/17/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/31/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/6/2011
Digest, 160 pgs, 30 lb newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
BETTY & VERONICA #255 “BEACH BLANKET BASH-UP,”“CHISEL FIZZLE,” & “THE BEST OF BUDS”
The heat is on! Betty and Veronica go head to head in a contest that will decide who wins Archie’s fiery affections. Round after round the girls battle it out to find that sometimes working against each other has worse consequences than a volleyball loss. Sometimes, the best art is created when you least expect it. In “Chisel Fizzle,” Betty and Veronica help ‘the next Michelangelo’ with his craft. Finally, in “The Best of Buds,” Archie’s #1 girls take a trip down memory lane and recall what makes them the best of friends.
SCRIPT: Paul Kupperberg, Craig Boldman, George Gladir
ARTIST: Jeff Shultz, Jim Amash
COVER: Fernando Ruiz
Shipping Date: 8/10/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/24/2011
Newsstands: Week of 8/30/2011
Comic, 32 pages, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
BETTY & VERONICA DOUBLE DIGEST #194 “THE BIG PUZZLE” & “RUNNING GAG”
While Veronica is away fundraising for her country club’s charity, Betty will try for all the time she can with Archie. But poor Betty is alone again once Veronica sees photographs of their adventures and steals him back for an event honoring her. In “RUNNING GAG,” Betty and Veronica take some much needed nature time to hike and stay fit but after learning of a bear sighting, their walk is anything but relaxing.
SCRIPT: George Gladir, Mike Pellowski
ARTIST: Pat Kennedy
COVER: Fernando Ruiz
Shipping Date: 8/31/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 9/14/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/20/2011
Digest, 160 pgs, 30 lb newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
JUGHEAD #209 “BUILDING A BETTER JUGHEAD”
Jughead and Moose make an unlikely team, but when Jughead needs a place to stay, he finds a soft bed, and some hard exercise at Moose’s house. It’s too bad sharing their conflicting routines means bruises and weight gain.
SCRIPT: Craig Boldman
ARTIST: Rex Lindsey
COVER: Fernando Ruiz, Rich Koslowski
Shipping Date: 8/31/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 9/14/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/20/2011
Comic, 32 pgs, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
JUGHEAD DOUBLE DIGEST #173 “BFFs…NOT!” and “Food for Thought”
Jughead and Veronica are at it again. In “BFFs…NOT,” they learn that the most turbulent friendships can find a common ground – even if it’s by insulting each other. In “Food for Thought,” Jughead tries to decide what he wants to do for a career. How does his decision bring together two business rivals?
SCRIPT: Paul Kupperberg, Mike Pellowski
ARTIST: Tod Smith, Jim Amash, & Barry Grossman
COVER: Tod Smith, Fabio Redivo
Shipping Date: 8/17/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/31/2011
Newsstands: Week of: 9/6/2011
Digest, 160 pgs, 30 lb. newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
LIFE WITH ARCHIE #13 “ARCHIE MARRIES VERONICA” & “ARCHIE MARRIES BETTY”
Dilton’s doctoral thesis reveals the existence of an infinite number of parallel realities while Archie’s reality is slowly crumbling around him. Veronica leaves him to find someone more suitable and Jughead finally finds a way to balance work at the Chocklit Shoppe and his marriage to Midge. An exonerated Reggie begins to think of his future, and it seems to include Betty! In “Archie Loves Betty,” Archie finds comfort in teaching and scouting musical talent for Ambrose’s club, the Chowhouse. All the while, Hiram Lodge’s world is dark when Veronica’s plane to their Paris office goes missing, allowing Fred Mirth to continue his dastardly scheme to take over Lodge Industries. Will Mr. Lodge mobilize fast enough to save his company, his daughter, and maybe the world?
SCRIPT: Craig Boldman
ARTIST: Rex Lindsey
COVER: Norm Breyfogle
Shipping Date: 8/31/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 9/14/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/20/2011
Comic, pgs, lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$3.99 US
MEGA MAN #5 “Time Keeps Slipping” Part One:
The evil Dr. Wily may be in jail, but that doesn’t mean the adventures are over for Mega Man! Federal agents are investigating Dr. Light for ties to the Robot Masters’ rampage while sinister figures lurk in the shadows. And why does Dr. Wily look so smug in his jail cell? Don’t miss the beginning of the newest Mega Man adventure! Featuring a painted cover by fan favorite artist Greg Horn!
SCRIPT: Ian Flynn
ARTIST: Chad Thomas, Rick Bryant, John Workman and Matt Herms
COVER: Greg Horn
VILLAIN VARIANT COVER: by Patrick “Spaz” Spaziante
Shipping Date: 8/24/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 9/7/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/13/2011
Comic, 32 pgs, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
SONIC THE HEDGEHOG #228 “Genesis” Part Three:
The most talked-about story in Sonic comic history continues as Sonic brings a curious new face into his adventures: Miles Prower, the boy genius! As Sonic and his friends continue the good fight against the evil Dr. Robotnik, the perils get more perilous, old memories begin to resurface, and the Death Egg orbits. Don’t miss the penultimate issue to this anniversary special event!
SCRIPT: Ian Flynn
ARTIST: Tracy Yardley!, Terry Austin, John Workman and Matt Herms
COVER: Patrick “Spaz” Spaziante
Shipping Date: 8/17/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/31/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/6/2011
Comic, 32 pgs, 40 lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
SONIC UNIVERSE #31 “Inside Job” Part Three:
Scourge the Hedgehog, evil doppelganger to Sonic, is half-way to his goal: put together a gang and bust out of Zone Jail! But first he’ll need to win the loyalty of two of the most dangerous members of the Destructix. If he can survive that, the rest is easy: fighting an army of Zone Cops and rival inmates!
SCRIPT: Ian Flynn.
ARTIST: Tracy Yardley!, Jim Amash, Phil Felix and Steve Downer
COVER: Tracy Yardley, Jim Amash & Matt Herms (After Spaz)
Shipping Date: 8/3/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 8/17/2011
Newsstands: Week of 8/23/2011
Comic, pgs, lb. glossy stock, Full-Color
$2.99 US
WORLD OF ARCHIE DOUBLE DIGEST #10 “LOVE ME BABY, MUMBAI” PART 2
In the conclusion of “LOVE ME BABY, MUMBAI,” Archie and the gang call it a wrap on Raj’s movie and learn that there are always two choices to make when it comes to love and compromise. Will Raj and Betty find romance or will their Bollywood flirtations end before they even begin?
SCRIPT: Tania del Rio
ARTIST: Bill Galvan
COVER: Bill Galvan, Al Milgrom
Shipping Date: 8/24/2011
On Sale at Comic Shops: 9/7/2011
Newsstands: Week of 9/13/2011
Digest, 160 pgs, 30 lb newsprint, Full-Color
$3.99 US
GRAPHIC NOVELS: The Best of Archie Comics (softcover)
Various authors/illustrators
978-1-8797-9484-9
$9.99/$10.99CAN
5 ¼ x7 ½”
Trade Paperback
416 pp
Direct Market On-sale: 7/27/2011
An essential introduction to new readers and a must-have companion for longtime Archie fans – The Best of Archie Comics features the best Archie tales in a stunning 416-page full-color $9.99 volume.
For 70 years, Archie Comics has been a vital and constant presence in American entertainment and pop culture, selling over 1.5 billion comic books. Archie — the lovable Riverdale teen who constantly finds himself in funny, entertaining and action-packed situations, and his closest friends Betty, Veronica, Jughead and Reggie – continues to be the bestselling kid’s magazine line in North America at retail.
The Best of Archie Comics features classic tales from some of the biggest creative names in the company’s history, including Bob Montana, Harry Lucey, Dan DeCarlo, Sam Schwartz, Stan Goldberg, Dan Parent and more. Hand-picked by Archie historians and experts, the stories collected in The Best of Archie Comics take readers on a veritable pop culture tour of America, from the World War II era to the swingin’ 60s to the present – including anecdotes, memories, historical highlights, exclusive content and more from Archie creators.
The Best of Archie Comics is the flagship title of Archie’s 70th anniversary and will receive intense publicity, marketing and sales support through 2012.
Knuckles the Echidna Archives Vol. 1
Written by Ian Flynn, Illustrated by Patrick “Spaz” Spaziante
978-1-8797-9481-8
$9.95/$10.95CAN
5 x 7 3/8”
Trade Paperback
160 pp
Direct Market On-sale: 8/24/2011
Knuckles Archives is Archie’s new SEGA-licensed book series spun off of Archie’s #1 best-selling Sonic Archives line. Knuckles serves as a companion piece to Sonic Archives—each references the other when stories intertwine.
Published in the popular full-color digest format that has done so well in children’s graphic novel sections, this super-sized 160-page title collects comic books Sonic’s Friendly Nemesis: Knuckles #1-3 and Knuckles the Echidna #1-3.
Knuckles is a highly popular character in the Sonic universe. In this volume, dive in as Knuckles investigates the mysteries of his origins and the wonders of the Floating Island and tries to solve the riddle of Archimedes! Brace for the harrowing adventure as Knuckles comes face to face with the dreaded Dark Legion and has his first encounter with Enerjak.
On Saturday, May 21 at 5:37pm MT I was eagerly anticipating the upcoming Rapture predicted by Harold Camping. Sure, nothing had happened in the other time zones at 6:00pm when this was all supposed to go down, but there was no way in Hell I was going to be unprepared.
As I sat in my boarded-up basement naked, gripping my trusty shotgun eating a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos I began mentally preparing myself for the “end of the world”. No way was I going to be one of the special few who got called up to Heaven, so I was prepared for the worst – having followed nearly all my own advice on preparing for the Rapture. Sure, my friends and family thought I was crazy. Not to mention super-pissed that I had stolen a bunch of their food and booze and stock-piled it in the basement with me along with various blunt zombie-smashing objects. As the day went on I was actually looking forward to the Rapture because I didn’t feel like going to work on Monday and frankly it had been a stressful week and I was looking forward to releasing that on some zombies with my trusty softball bat.
But alas, 6:00 pm came and went, and at 6:23 pm (I gave God a grace period, just in case some things came up and he was running late) I emerged from my basement wearing a pair of shorts I had fashioned from empty Oreo bags and sick to my stomach because as it turns out I’m a nervous eater. To give you an idea of what waiting for the end of the world was like, here are some excerpts from my pre-apocolypse diary I was keeping that evening:
4:32pm: Beginning to move rations to the basement along with 185 boxes of shotgun shells. This should be enough potato chips and ammo to last me at least a few months.
5:05pm: Boarded up windows and doors with wood I stole from a construction site. No way am I buying something from Home Depot that I could go out into the forrest and cut down myself. Unfortunately no forrests within a 2 mile radius of where I live. Also, cutting down trees is hard.
5:17pm: Watching TiVo’d season finale of Saturday Night Live with Justin Timberlake and Lady Gaga. Hit and miss as always. Lady Gaga surprisingly funny. Her music still blows. Getting hungry, dipping into rations already. Chili Cheese Fritos and a can of Mountain Dew with Sailor Jerry rum. It’s starting to get hot down here, eating Fritos is exhausting.
5:19pm: Checked Google for any signs of the Rapture in other Time Zones. Took pants off.
5:30pm: Received text from Mexicus Prime wanting to go to the comic shop. Replied, “cant, prep 4 rapture. u should 2. God is goin 2 b pisssssssed when he sees wats been goin on down here! LOL!”
5:31pm – 5:45pm: Sat staring at a wall with blank expression pondering my own existence until Lady Gaga cleavage snapped me out of it. Not great, but I imagine I’ll be doing a lot of “taking what I can get” when the end of the world comes.
5:50pm: Dropped Chili Cheese Frito between legs. Still ate it. Can’t waste rations.
5:55pm: Rapture is almost here! The anticipation is palpable. This is going to be epic.
5:59pm: One minute to go. Used spit to fix hair just in case in the off-chance I do ascend to Heaven. Want to look good for the Big Man Upstairs.
6:01pm: Nothing yet. Watch could be wrong.
6:07pm: Thought I felt the starting of an earthquake. Just a big truck driving by. What the hell is taking so long? My trigger finger is itchy, I want to kill some zombies.
6:15pm: Looking more and more like there is going to be no Rapture. There’s no possible way Harold Camping could have been wrong, is there?!
6:20pm: Reviewed Harold Camping’s calculations used to figure out that May 21 is the date of the Rapture. Upon my further review it appears that his calculations are wrong. Not just wrong, but wrong wrong! In fact, it looks like he just made this all up! The only conclusion I can draw from running these numbers are, “These are the ramblings of a crazy person.”
6:23pm: After extensive review of Harold Camping’s prediction came to this conclusion: “This is little more than the overly-religious ramblings of a crazy man and con-artist looking to do little more than garner attention to his radio show and sucker people out of ridiculous amounts of money, splitting apart families in the process.” Put on Oreo Shorts. Went to Five Guys Burgers and Fries – which is way better than In N’ Out.
So as it turns out, all of this Rapture business turned out be be wrong. Again. On the plus side, since the world didn’t end that means we will still get to see Captain America: The First Avenger! It also looks like Mr. Camping was able to take all of those donations from his followers that money he stole and invest it into updating his website! Which now looks like it was made in 1998 as opposed to 1996! See? He does have a plan!
This week’s Who was entitled “The Rebel Flesh” and was written by Matthew Graham, who is probably best know for being the co-creator of the series “Life on Mars”
The story begins as we’re introduced to a crew of workers who are pumping a supposedly valuable (and definitely corrosive) acid from their island outpost to the mainland. When one of the crew falls into said acid and promptly dies with seemingly no pain, we find that same person 2 seconds later saying he should be getting hazard pay for that.
Meanwhile, on the TARDIS. The Doctor is still poring over Amy’s will she/won’t she ultrasound. Before he can make any headway as to whether or not she’s pregnant, the TARDIS gets hit by a solar storm and the crew find themselves in 22nd century Earth to a certain island outpost…
Quickly, we learn that the workers can create and animate dopplegangers of themselves my use of some creepy looking control beds and a bug vat of goopy liquid they call “The Flesh”. Once the second wave of the solar storm hits the island and causes The Flesh to animate without the need for control beds, that is where things get really interesting.
This is probably my favorite episode of the season so far, simply because of the palpable tension the episode’s situation creates. The reactions of the crew, the Doctor, and the dopplegangers all rang as very true to me. The episode actually reminded me of the classic Twilight Zone episode, “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street“, which is a good thing. The stand out character for this episode for me was Rory. I think that he gets the short end of the stick when compared to Amy or The Doctor, but he is more compassionate that either of them, and his unwavering conviction to help “Jessica” even after she freaked out and clobbered him was the episode’s highlight.
Another great thing about this episode in particular is that it’s a slow burn that definitely merits a second part. We’re introduced to the concepts, given a great set up, The Doctor comes in and does his thing, and everything is about to wrapped up in a nice bow and everyone’s happy, and then… well. My only hope is that the next episode doesn’t devolve into an US vs. THEM all out war. This show has done that before, and it isn’t really one of its strong suits. The final scene, however makes me hope for the best.
This episode also makes one wonder if the existence of easily created beings that look, act, and feel exactly the same as their counterparts gives the writers an “out” for the events of the season’s first episode. I’m kind of hoping that it’s much more elaborate that than, though. Some other geeky/speculative things to note: I think Rory may be a doppleganger and not know it. Early on in the episode, he touches the wall of the castle/facility and it burns his hand slightly, since you know, there’s acid all over the place. Later, we’re told the dopplegangers don’t have the same type of nerve endings as humans, and as such don’t realise pain as quickly, or at all. Later still, we see Rory touching the wall again with no ill effects. The shot seemed to deliberate to me to be a continuity error, but time will tell.
The one mark I have against this episode is not a fault of the episode itself, but that the second part will not be airing stateside until June 4th, due to BBC America delaying the episode due to Memorial Day weekend. This stings for a couple of reasons, the first being that BBCAm had scheduled this series to air the same day on both sides of the pond, changing that due to the fear of lost Memorial Day ratings is short-sighted. People who really want to see the episode when it airs in the UK next week will surely find a way, and the ratings will be lower on BBC America regardless.
At any rate, you should be checking out the show, this episode illuminates the sort of sci-fi I like to see, classic xenophobia that is really about the human condition.
Last time, our ersatz Captain America was careening wildly in a remote controlled truck filled with explosives headed for an orphanage full of nuns! Just kidding about that last part. One thing I love about old stuff like this is how etymology has changed. We’d never say that something is a robot car because it can be controlled remotely. I think we should bring it back though. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fire this my “robot viso-screen” and watch Chapter 5 of Captain America: Blade of Wrath!
As for this week’s extras, I have both the poster and the lobby card for this chapter. The lobby card is from the film’s re-release, but the poster is the from the original release. Hope you enjoy them!
Amazon is now accepting sign-ups for for notification of pre-orders for The Clone Wars: The Complete Season Three on DVD and Blu-ray. There is no date and there is no price, though it’s pretty safe to assume the pricing and release pattern will match the first two season, with an October release date and in the $30-$50 zone, depending on where you buy.
The biggest thing of note is the artwork they have accompanying the sign up. It’s in the same style as the last two seasons, but features blue coloring and a very determined looking Anakin. It’s the new model Anakin, too.
Next on the list for The Clone Wars update is from The EU Cantina. They were at the Star Tours premiere in Florida this morning and got a chance to wrestle some tidbits out of Dave Filoni.
On the return of Savage Oppress and Asajj Ventress in Season 4: it is safe to say that they will return.
On the appearance of Darth Maul in future episodes: Dave could not confirm, and commented upon Maul’s rather obvious death in The Phantom Menace, but warned that our heroes would be in for big trouble in the future.
Filoni also confirmed (in a roundabout way) that Admiral Ackbar was indeed in the trailer for Season Four shown at the end of Season Three.
MandyBu, from TheForce.Net, was also in attendance and said that the subtitle for Season Four would be “Battle Lines,” according to Filoni.
I think the biggest tidbit here is the non-confirmation confirmation of Darth Maul’s appearance. I, for one, am ready to see more Darth Maul. As much as I loved The Phantom Menace I felt he was short changed. Add to that the fact that every time Filoni and crew brought in an element of Phantom Menace in Season Three it was riveting, then yes: I’m all for Darth Maul and Savage Oppress on The Clone Wars.
World Screenings have posted this interview that they did with producer Julie Gardner, along with actors John Barrowman and Bill Pullman about the newest series of Torchwood. Torchwood: Miracle Day is set to premier in the U.S. on Starz on July 8th.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, you may be shocked to learn that the world is coming to an end on May 21, 2011. If this is news to you, I’m sorry that it’s such short notice, but it’s never too late to prepare – because chances are, you’re a sinner and will be left behind.
According to Harold Camping – a self-taught Bible expert – the world will begin to experience Judgement Day this evening once the calendar rolls over to May 21 on the other side of the world. For those of you not savvy with time zones, the Judgement will begin at 2 a.m. Eastern Time here in the US. Camping has used his “expert” knowledge of the Bible and his own brand of made up special religious “math” to determine that God has planned for the world to come to an end and pass judgement on man kind exactly 7,000 years after the first “destruction” of the Earth in which Noah saved every animal in existence on a big-ass boat.
5 x 10 x 17 x 5 x 10 x 17 = 722,500
The atonement or redemption demonstrated by Christ’s suffering and death on April 1, 33 A.D. (the number 5) is 100% completed on May 21, 2011 (the number 10) when all the true believers are raptured into Heaven (the number 17).
Remarkably this number sequence is doubled, to indicate it has been established by God and will shortly come to pass (Genesis 41:32).
We must comment further about the incredible nature of this proof which is completely based on Biblical information.
1. April 1, 33 A.D. is the date God focuses our attention on, how Christ died to atone for our sins as Christ was crucified on that day. The number 5 also focuses on that day, inasmuch as it can spiritually signify the atonement.
2. Our salvation is entirely completed at the time believers receive their eternally alive resurrected bodies. This is what happens on the day of the Rapture, May 21, 2011. Thus the period of April 1, 33 A.D. to May 21, 2011 (inclusive) is the complete period from the time God shows us how our salvation was accomplished to the time our salvation has been entirely completed. This coincides perfectly with the number 10, which signifies completeness.
3. On May 21, 2011, the date of the Rapture, each and every saved person goes to Heaven because his salvation is altogether completed. The number 17 fits perfectly because it signifies Heaven when it has spiritual meaning.
4. The doubling of the numbers 5 x 10 x 17 like the doubling of the phrase “a day is as a thousand years” assures us that the truth of these proofs is established by God and will shortly come to pass. Isn’t it amazing that God uses this doubling principle to further guarantee that the date May 21, 2011 is absolutely certain, even as God has used it to absolutely assure us that Judgment Day is exactly 7,000 years after the flood of Noah’s day.
Did you keep up with all that? If not, you’re clearly dumb. It’s right there! Also, Camping believes that Earth is not just 6,000 years old because that’s ridiculous. It’s quite obvious to him that the Earth is actually 13,000 years old (suck it, science!), and anyone who believes otherwise is sadly misinformed. But I digress . . .
So what can we expect tonight when the world starts to crumble around us? Well, according to camping there will be massive earthquakes that open up the graves of the dead who will of course rise and stand in judgement with the rest of us. Once judgement has been passed, those worthy will be lifted into Heaven while the rest of us (most definitely me) will be left behind to suffer for five months until the world finally meets its final end on October 21, 2011. During those five months there will be famine, plagues, violence, natural disasters, and just suffering and death in general – you know, the usual. Oh, and zombies, there will definitely be zombies. I mean, what else are those who rose from the grave and didn’t meet God’s expectations supposed to do besides eat brains?
But fear not fellow sinners! Just because God deemed you to be unworthy (much like my parents did years ago) doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your last five months on Earth! Here are some pros along with some survival tips for what I’m sure are going to be a super-shitty five months for all of us left behind.
5 Pros for Being Left Behind in the Rapture:
All of those snooty, nose up in the air, better-than-thou assholes will be up in Heaven sipping tea while we all get to stick around down here drinking up all of the delicious alcohols of choice that we want! Which brings me to my next point . . .
FREE LIQUOR! No one is going to be working during this time, so hit up your favorite liquore store and grab as much free booze as your dainty hands can carry!
Congrats, you’re now debt-free, just like you always wanted!
All of that religious guilt you’ve been feeling for all your sins have now been lifted off your shoulders. The judgement has come and gone and you didn’t make the cut, so why worry about it now? Live free, sinner, LIVE FREE!
Two words: Unprotected sex. “What?! You gave me ‘the clap’?!” / “Yeah, who cares? We are all dying in ___ months anyway.”
BONUS: Of course, we will all be living in a world of chaos, so really you can do whatever you please. Want to try smoking? Go for it! Why not hit the hard stuff too! Heroine, Meth, Coke! So what? You become an addict, it won’t matter. Also, chances are people will have far less inhibition now, so that guy/girl that you’ve been wanting to sleep with will probably be all about it now! And of course, all the other little perks: No more work, no more responsibility, etc.
General Survival Tips for Surviving the Last Five Months on Earth:
Hit the stores early! Everyone is going to be raiding all of the local markets and you don’t want to be left with nothing but a shelf of pickled pigs feet. Don’t be a lazy survivalist. Get your helmet, bat, and shopping cart ready now and just go wait outside the doors of your local market. Sure, people will thing your crazy. Up until about 12 hours from now!
Don’t forget the ammo! It’s our God given right to bare arms, and just because he didn’t think you worthy to go to Heaven doesn’t mean anyone can take that right away from you! AMERICA!
Guns are nice, but ammo eventually runs out. Remember to have a sturdy bat, axe, golf club, 2×4, etc. handy! I promise you people, there are going to be zombies! The last thing you want to do is go outside to take a dump and find yourself surrounded by a horde of zombies and only one clip of ammo. You’ll need to swing and bash your way back into your fortified house.
Fortify your house! Board up windows and doors, lay down some Home Alone-style booby traps (effective and hilarious!), make sure guns are available at different vantage points at windows around the house. Aside from zombies you’re going to have to deal with rioters, robbers, murderers, and rabid hookers – all looking to get a piece of your stuff! Don’t let them touch your stuff!
Fire and kindling. Chances are there is going to be little to no electricity during these five months – which sucks because I really need to do some work bringing my K/D ratio up in Halo: Reach – and you’re going to need to keep warm. TIP: That thin Bible paper helps to start a great fire. It’s of no use to you now, might as well put it to work in some fashion.
Every man and woman for himself! Look, we allthink your significant other is just the Bee’s Knees, but if the dumbass is dumb enough to go wandering off for some mundane reason, just let them go. It’s called Natural Selection, and yes, it will still exist in the End Days.
That being said, there is an advantage to power in numbers. It’s going to be a lot easier to fend off a large group of rioters outside of a house when you’ve got a dozen people popping them in the head from all angles. But keep an eye on that fatty in the corner, chances are they’re sneaking extra Oreo rations and those Double-Stuffs aint going to last forever.
Have lots of sex. Sex releases endorphins into the brain that make you happier and will probably make dealing with the end of the world a lot easier to handle. Also, sex is awesome.
Drink alcohol. You’re going to meet your demise eventually, all of these tips are essentially prolonging the inevitable. Even ifyou survive the full five months it takes for the world to finally explode (or whatever it’ll do) it’s not like God is going to be like, “You know what, Sport? You did a hell of a job surviving all those months so I did some rearranging and made some room for you here in Heaven, and guess what, it’s right next to the lesbian cloud – you lucky dog!” My point is, keep youself at any given point at least a little buzzed, because when you eventually meet your end it may not be as painful.
Keep faith alive. And by this I mean that everyone left behind on Earth are all going to end up in Hell when they eventually kick the bucket – whether that be 3 days, 4 weeks, or 5 months from now. So just because your sister got eaten by zombies on day 13 it doesn’t mean you won’t be seeing her again real soon. So keep that chin up, Slugger because we are all going to the same place when this is all over!
Hopefully these tips will help you all out as the world begins to crumble around us and we sinners can at least make what we can out of our final days on Earth before we all end up in the fiery-depths of Hell – where there will most likely be better movies, music, food and beer than in Heaven. Of course, if you would prefer to just avoid all this business and go to Heaven with the rest of the teacher’s pets there are plenty of religions out there that allow for a last minute hail mary absolving of sins on your death bed, so try to contact your local religious authority and see if they have time for a last-minute reading of your last rites.
And if you’re reallydesperate, our own Proletaria-tron was just ordained a Minister of what I can only assume is some bullshit online Church – but I’m sure it still counts and you can leave your confessions for him in the comments below.
I just realized it’s May 21 already in Japan and Australia . . . has anyone heard from them? . . .
Leave your own Rapture Survival Tips in the comments below! You can also leave your last-minute confessions below so Proletaria-tron can absolve you of all your sins!
‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Goes Viral and Gives Us Our First Look at Bane!
Yesterday, Warner Bros. announced that The Dark Knight Rises had gone into production and to go along with that they launched the official web page for the anticipated film, thus also launching their viral campaign.
Upon visiting the site you are only greeted with a blank, black screen with chanting-type music playing. Seriously. That’s it. Well, someone over in the Superhero Hype message forums took it upon themselves by taking a look at the sounds in an audio program and came up with this:
It turns out that tweeting using the hashtag of @thefirerises will slowly fill in a mosaic image at http://www.thedarkknightrises.com/image.html using twitter account avatars that have used that hashtag. At the time of this post, this is where they are at with the image:
The image obviously isn’t complete yet, but the geek community is an impatient and resourceful bunch, and the full image has already been uncovered! And guess what. It’s our first look at Tom Hardy as Bane (click the image below for high-res)!
It amazes me that no matter how obscure or complicated these viral campaigns get, someone always finds a way to decipher it. I never in a million years would have thought to plug that audio file into a program expecting to get results like a Twitter hashtag!
If history has taught us anything it’s that this is probably only the tip of the iceberg for this viral campaign and we will be sure to bring you more The Dark Knight Rises goodies as quickly as we can as they’re unveiled!
Of course this isn’t a super-clear view of the man who broke the Bat’s back, but what do you think of the look of Nolan’s version of Bane? Sound off in the comments below!
By now, you guys all know that a lot of the robots here at BSR! are huge pinball fanatics. We’ve previously reviewed Zen Studios Mars table for Pinball FX2 on the Xbox, and we had generally positive things to say about it. Today, the guys at Zen released the newest addition to Marvel Pinball… Fantastic Four! Will it hold up to the criticisms of HyperZord and Shaz-Bot? Well, you’ll just have to read on, won’t you?
Shaz-Bot: I got my first taste of the FF table when we spotlighted the trailer last month. I mentioned then that I thought that Marvel’s First Family should have been honored with a table from the beginning, but from what I’ve played so far, I can forgive the extra time, because it has resulted it a highly polished and enjoyable experience.
HyperZord: When I first started playing Pinball FX 2 I was surprised at how bad at pinball I was. All of my scores were nearly 30 times lower then Shaz-Bot and I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. But then about 3 weeks ago I looked up some pointers online and started to really explore each of the different tables and within about a half hour at each table I started to figure out how to play and suddenly I became really good at the game. So if you think you’re not very good at pinball this game is still for you because it just takes a little bit of patience before the fun comes rolling out.
Shaz-Bot: For starters, let me tell everyone something, this table is not for beginners.If you go in, flippers blazing, you shouldn’t expect to get far. It behooves you to read the table rules so you can get a general idea of how to play the table properly. Trust me, you’ll have a much more pleasant time if you do.
When reviewing a licensed game like this, not only do you have to review how good the game is, but how well the license is represented. It’s was obvious with the previous Marvel tables that Zen Studios knows their stuff when it comes to Marvel lore, but FF takes the cake. Each member of the foursome has comic-accurate dialog and mannerisms. Ben and Johnny even bicker at each other!
HyperZord: I actually disagree with Shaz-Bot about the beginning, I sorta went in flippers blazing trying to figure out things as I went along and within about half an hour I hit 42 Million. It’s a nice morale booster since there are some really good quick shots to make you a bunch of points. I’m less into Fantastic Four lore then Shaz-Bot so I’m glad he covered it, but I will say all of the Marvel tables have had more of an appeal to me simply because I do know the characters and so The Fantastic Four are a nice fit.
Shaz-Bot: There is so much to do on this table, it’s amazing! Each member of the FF has their own ramp and a goal tied into each of them. You can get the Thing to toss your ball around and eventually earn a multiball that is anywhere from 2-4 balls based on your skill. With the Human Torch, you can literally set the ball on fire and eventully trigger his own multiball. Mr. Fantastic has the ability to activate the Negative Zone ball saver, and the Invisible Woman has out lane savers as well as a skillshot that can be controller by you or the computer once you spell INVISIBLE. The coolest hidden bit is when you take on the role of H.E.R.B.I.E. and have to defend the Baxter Building from a Skrull invasion using a mini-playfield that actually emerges from the building.
HyperZord: I had no idea who H.E.R.B.I.E. was when I pulled off that mini game the first time so I was a little confused but it got me to look up more about the Fantastic Four and look up things I didn’t know about. One of the things which did improve my game was getting better at multi-balls and this game actually has three multi-balls, the two Shaz-Bot mentioned and one involving Doctor Doom as well. But the cool thing is that you can use the multi-balls to further and stack other mutli-balls, what I mean is when doing one you can trigger another while playing it. It’s really cool.
Shaz-Bot: I think the game really starts to shine when you activate the game modes. One you shoot a ball into the Baxter Building and then the mission hole you have a choice of 5 missions. One for each member of the FF and one with Dr. Doom. With the Thing, you have to fend off an army of Doombots. I probably enjoy this mode the most, just for the delightful *ting* the Doombots make when you hit them with the ball. The Torch’s mode is very fun as well, you have to continually hit the orbits/spinners to increase his Nova Flame to 1 million degrees. If you manage this, the screen is illuminated (due the Torch burning so brightly) for 20 seconds. During that time, everything you do has a 40X multipler, so you can really rack up the points. Dr. Doom and the Invisible Woman’s missions are similar due to the fact that Doom is attacking the Baxter Building in both of them. With Sue, you must hit the appropriatte ramps to add forcefields to fend off Doom’s attack. With Doom’s mode, you have to use his own power against him before the Baxter Building is utterly destroyed! Mr. Fantastic’s mode has you helping him build components in his lab by hitting his extended hands with the pinball. If you can manage to conquer all of these modes, there is a hidden 6th mission where you have to stop Galactus, and yes, the Ultimate Nullifier is involved.
HyperZord: I’m not nearly as far as Shaz-Bot as the only mission I’ve successfully completed has been The Thing’s which can get you a quick 12 million really fast. I actually did get Human Torches’ up to his super nova and right before I could get any more points I lost the ball.
Shaz-Bot: As much as I love playing this game, there are two things I have a problem with. Thankfully, they don’t affect the actual gameplay at all. I am not fond of the music used for the table. It seems much too epic and grandiose for the FF. I know that may sound off, seeing as this is a group that tackles 7 dimensions before breakfast, it just didn’t gel with me. The other thing I wasn’t terribly fond of was the table art itself. Don’t get my wrong, the 3D models of the FF and Doom are great, I love the attention to detail like the ends of the rails looking like Kirby’s “flying bathtubs”, but the actual art on the playfield looks off to me. Reed is too young, the Torch is has hard to distinguish features, the Thing is OK, but Sue has such an elongated torso that you’d think she temporarily gained Mr. Fantastic’s stretching power! Also, the Mole Man is present on the playfield art, but doesn’t seem to be represented in the gameplay at all.
HyperZord: My biggest problem is the same problem I have with most of the tables where the third achievement is basically impossible to get. You have to have the perfect game to get it and achievements are the bane of my game playing because I want to earn them so bad.
Shaz-Bot: To close, despite the (admittedly small) issues I have with it, Marvel Pinball: Fantastic Four has almost overtaken Spider-Man as my favorite Zen table of all time, and it is definitely worth your time and money, whether you like pinall, Marvel, the Fantastic Four or all three!
HyperZord: So far I’d actually put it in third place behind Secrets of the Deep and Pasha but still among how many tables they have to get third so quickly is a big accomplishment.
Marvel Pinball: Fantastic Four retails for 240 Microsoft Points and when it appears on the PSN, it’ll be $2.99. Codes were given to the staff by the developer for review purposes.
Stay tuned for an upcoming contest for your own XBOX code.
