A guest post from, Nothatsoktron on…

How the Original Super Smash Bros. Are Basically The Avengers Waiting to Happen

Ah, nostalgia.  One inhale across the surface of my Nintendo 64 and I’m transported back to those glorious times in junior high, hours spent honing my skill on the plains of Hyrule.  Stale cherry Pop-tarts, that’s the scent.

Like any prepubescent halfling of the early 2000s, I spent just as many hours sharpening my fighting skill against computerized players in Super Smash Bros.  I was damn good at it, too.  These days are more or less the same except that my boss-battling has been replaced with boss-avoiding and catching up on geekery on my breaks… a lot of which is centered around the magnificent world called the Marvel Universe.  I thank several deities every day that I am alive in an era where Stan Lee and ass-kicking CGI exist at the same time.  Upon my eighth or eleventh viewing of The Avengers, however, I noticed some distinct familiarities in the characters, almost… almost as if Nintendo was warning us years in advance of what would consume our world in days to come.  Not that anyone is really complaining.  Details of my vigorous research follow below.

For sake of not being lame, I’m going to exclude any Super Smash Bro that gives me the impression that they are made purely out of fruit-snack material.  Kirby?  Jigglypuff?  Yoshi?  Give me a break.  The worst fighting they’ve ever done is in my stomach between the Capri Sun and Lunchable crackers at recess.  Ness?  You can be paired with Scarlet Witch, maybe.  I’m still confused about what her powers even are so I’ll get back to you.  They look kind of magic-y and dumb, though, so you might be a match.

SAMUS AND IRON MAN

Don’t tell me you didn’t notice this already.  Do you want to know how many Iron Man and Metroid crossover shirts I own?  Do you?  It’s five.  Anyway, we know that Tony Stark had to take some Chozo engineering course while studying at MIT, just look at that sleek design!  Hell, even the color scheme is enough of a nod towards Nintendo’s golden age to make the connection. And we all know hidden behind that visor there is a genius in Samus as well, seeing as she deciphers and defeats entire subterranean alien bases alone without so much as a single fuck given.  If Samus could stand to be in a room with Tony for more than a few pickup lines, I bet their conversations would just be fantastic.  “One bomb is all it took to stop your alien invasion? How cute!”

CAPTAIN FALCON AND CAPTAIN AMERICA

They’re both captains, and they both took forever to unlock.  Unfreeze, whatever.  And just look at Captain Falcon, you know?  He’s clearly a good-ol’-boy who can fight but still thinks he can just walk in and be the voice of authority what with his little catch-phrases and all.  Yeah, nice of you to show up, Cap,you adorable dweeb.  Gotta hand it to him, though, most of his moves are bereft of any weapons or magic to speak of, much like the fighting style of Mr. Rogers.  No, not that Mr. Rog- well, wait a minute.  A morally-bound sweater-wearing square with retired Navy SEAL rumors floating around his sweetly smiling head?  Will we ever know?

LINK AND HAWKEYE

We’re going to go ahead and assume Link’s archery skills match those of Hawkeye, mostly based on my own scores on the Gerudo shooting range where I not only earned a sweet-ass quiver but also (probably) a date with that babe at the counter.  Generally silent and a brief stint with some circus-related activities, it’s just obvious that someone with a multitude of ways to kill an enemy would end up as a sharp-eyed assassin.  

STARFOX AND BLACK WIDOW

This one should be apparent from the home screen of the game in which choosing Fox prompts him to roll his eyes and dismiss you with a “hmph” before your silly little, um, battlebegins.  Like the flawlessly skilled Romanov, you’ll have access to an arsenal of smooth ju-jitsu moves and sneak attacks, pulling out concealed handguns and randomly accessing fighter jets (of which you are expertly trained to kick ass with) in order to really, really make your opponents hate you.  Lest we forget in our game of comparisons that Natasha is, of course, a stone-cold fox.

DONKEY KONG AND THE HULK

Duh. The gigantic, ill-tempered and easily-duped monkey is a nod towards the gigantic, ill-tempered and easily-duped (apologies, Dr. Banner), uh… green guy.  Actually, it’s too bad that the Smash Bros world didn’t keep things canon with Thor’s enchanted Mjölnir, because anyone will tell you that the game was just fucking lost when Donkey Kong got ahold of that damn sledgehammer.  You’re realproud of that mere 4% damage five minutes into the game, aren’t you?  BAM.  Kong Smash.  Sure, try lingering on the resurrection platform… he’ll be waiting when you come down.

LUIGI AND LOKI

Okay, okay, Loki’s not an Avenger.  He should be though.  He needs to sort out his shit and join SHIELD like any self-respecting superhuman should, if not purely for the 401K benefits.  But really, just look at the two of these guys… the lean, overshadowed brothers of less-cool counterparts, frequently burdened with bailing out said siblings, better skillset overall, green, they have names that start with ‘L’ and end with ‘I’… I’m telling you, it’s just a matter of bonus rounds before Luigi damns it all to hell and starts rigging every go-kart with mind-controlling bob-ombs.  Probably in better fashion than overalls, too.

MARIO AND NICK FURY

Yeah, so Fury isn’t actually an Avenger either, I get it.  I also want to make it inherently clear, I think Mario is a total asshole and a puny fighter.  You know that adorable girl in high school that had a boyfriend and then the biggest sqweeb in the grade asked her to prom, like, five months in advance?  And her parents made her humor the kid and go with him?  That’s Mario.  However, I’ll pretend Mario is cooler than all that for the sake of Fury.  Mario is still kind of the host of this mess (would these heroes even know of each other’s existence if this world-hopper didn’t collect them to fight?  The BrosInitiative?) and he likes to hang back and let the taller, prettier heroes do most of the work.  You can bet he’ll show up in all his glory at the end of the battle, though (probably after nursing some debilitating injury like getting shot three times or stepping on a turtle), waiting to take way more credit than deserved for helping.  Whatever, though.  Just bring your giant floating battleships, guys, and we’ll call it even.

PIKACHU… AND THOR

Hahaha.  Haaahahahahahahaha.  Hahahahahaha.

C. Matthews A.K.A. Nothatsoktron is a grown up musician for hire and has a Super Metroid clear time of under 3 hours.  

For the last 15 years of my life, “Super Smash Bros.” has been apart of it. Beginning with the 1999 release of that first Smash game for the Nintendo 64, altered the course of many of my nights through my post-high school days. Many bleary-eyed late nights were spent battling it out with three friends or siblings. I will freely admit that there were wagers made on brawls we played, most often with the losers buying the winners 44oz sodas at the local gas station convenience store.

Somehow, it had become a way of life, more fun than you can imagine. 

I imagine I’m not the only one who has memories of long, dark hours in the unfinished basement at a friend’s house, burning my eyes out in front of a television, hoping to ground pound my opponents into submission.

Time has passed. The N64 is obsolete. The Gamecube version of the game offered improvements, but isn’t compatible on the Wii U. The Wii version is fine, but it didn’t reach the greatness of the first two, and we’ve been left anticipating the release of “Super Smash Bros. Wii U.”

I’ll be the first to say that I’m not disappointed by this new iteration, provided to me for review by Nintendo. The game was instantly playable to a fault. As soon as my son, his friends, and I put it in the Wii U, we blinked and hours had passed. We unlocked character after character and laughed the whole time. 

In my younger days, my go-to character was Kirby and I began my sojourn into this new game with him, but quickly gravitated to Little Mac. With “Punch Out” my favorite classic NES game, I tried him on a lark and found that he was a lot of fun to play. He was frustrating to play at the start since his recovery from a few different moves is non-existent, but playing him just put a smile on my face. He’s strong and punches quickly, the KO mechanic is fun, and he’s a formidable character, balancing out the constant falling off of ledges you’re going to do.

I was surprised by many of the characters that were added to the game. Never would I think Pac-Man, or Duck Hunt, or the Wii Fitness Trainer would make reasonable additions to a game like this, but they balanced them and made them work to a degree I would not have expected. More than anything, characters like the Wii Fitness Trainer remind us to not take the game too seriously. And it would do you well to learn how to play the Wii Fitness Trainer (who blasts bits of solar energy during Sun Salutations) for no better reason than to humiliate your friends. 

Pac-Man is another character that’s just fun to play. He’ll throw a pellet forward and then gobble a line of smaller pellets in the wake of it, smashing other players in his wake. Since those pellet trails can change direction in mid-air, Pac-Man is one of the surprisingly versatile characters in the game.

My son spent quite a bit of time creating Mii Fighters and had more fun customizing his own random moves that he began to rely more and more on these than any of the standard (or unlocked) characters. Your mileage on this addition to the game will vary. For me, I had more luck playing the pre-packaged characters. 

The one aspect I just didn’t find myself using all that much at all was the Amiibo figure. Having access to a Mario figure, I played a bit with the character and found he didn’t fit my play-style in any way, shape, or form. I can see the virtues and appeal of the Amiibos, but I would be sure to only get them for a character I know I’m going to play a lot with. I’d probably buy Kirby or Little Mac. The rest? Meh.

As for gameplay, this version adds a number of new levels and modes of play.

On top of the regular 4-player brawl, there’s an 8 player version that is pretty much the ultimate party game. Rounding up 8 players and playing “Super Smash Bros.” all in one room is about as chaotic as it gets, but it’s so fun it’s worth the tiny figures on the screen. And as more players drop out, the play gets more competitive. This is pretty much the only way to blow a Saturday night with your friends these days.

The game also adds a tour of sorts that plays like a version of “Mario Party” and I found a lot to love here. Players navigate a game board, travelling around to collect powerups and other items that will help them in various battles. Players also collect fighters and this makes up their lineup in the final battle. It adds a new way of playing “Smash Bros.” and blends beautifully with my bizarre love of “Mario Party.” 

In a world where video games are turning their back on providing social experiences for a bunch of people in one room in favor of advancing the anti-social nature of online play, this game is a nostalgic breath of fresh air. 

It’s got endless replayability and with 50+ characters to choose from, you’re going to find new challenges with every new game. This is what Nintendo does best and I think the world of gaming is better for it. 

“Super Smash Bros.” comes out 11/21/14 and it’s my advice that you shouldn’t miss it. It’ll bring you back the unfinished basements of your youth, whether you have kids to share that with, or if you and your friends have never grown up. It really is the game you’ve been itching for.

image via – Nintendo

Nintendo announced this morning that “Super Smash Bros” WiiU will be hitting shelves much earlier than expected. With a tentative date Holiday 2014 taunting gamers for months, they finally revealed that the game and other peripherals will hit shelves November 21, 2014. That’s right folks, just over a month away! Nintendo also confirmed that along with the GameCube controller adapter which will run $19.99 and hit shelves the same day, they will also be releasing a special “Smash Bros” branded GameCube controller that will run for $29.99 solo. You will also be able to snag “Super Smash Bros WiiU”, a controller adapter and the new GameCube controller in a bundle for $99.99.

For those who want to play Super Smash Bros. for Wii U with their favorite Nintendo GameCube controller, Nintendo is introducing an adapter that lets up to four original Nintendo GameCube or WaveBird controllers work with the game. The adapter will be available at a suggested retail price of $19.99. Nintendo is also launching a standaloneNintendo GameCube controller emblazoned with the iconic Super Smash Bros. insignia at a suggested retail price of $29.99. Additionally, Nintendo is offering a special bundle that includes Super Smash Bros. for Wii U, one Nintendo GameCube controller and one adapter at a suggested retail price of $99.99. All of these items launch Nov. 21. — Via Nintendo.com

So there you have it folks on 11.21.2014 you can stock up GameCube Controllers, an adapter and your game to start the party!

During Nintendo Direct this morning. Iwata and co treated us to a another character announcement for Super Smash Bros. Originally featured in Super Mario Galaxy 1 and 2 Rosalina and Luna were previously non-playable in those games, before being featured in Mario Kart. Smash Bros is shaping up to be incredibly diverse as they join an already stellar line-up. Smash Bros is slated for Nintendo 3DS and WiiU in 2014.