I liked the offering this month a bit more but for a very specific reason.  If you decide you want to give it a try click here

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbnXHnrz2is&feature=youtu.be

If you don’t want spoilers, come no further. We instead suggest that you read this nice review Vagabond Prime wrote up. Otherwise, if you’ve already seen Star Trek: Into Darkness, or don’t care about spoilers, this is the place for you! We had some fairly divergent opinions on the latest Trek, although I think we all come down on the side of liking it (Miss Mecha doesn’t know if she can say she liked it… but she wishes she could like it a bit more).

What follows is our round-table discussion of the movie, spoilers and all! 

Citizen-Bot: Before I start anything, let me say that I liked this movie. A lot, actually. But I think it fits into the second tier of Trek movies. It’s not as good as the last one, or First Contact or Wrath of Khan or The Undiscovered Country, but it’s in that same tier as Search for Spock or Generations. And probably better than those two. So. . .it’s my 5th favorite Star Trek movie? Is that faint praise? That’s like saying “It’s my third favorite Star Wars movie.”

Miss Mecha: Unlike Citizen-Bot, I walked out of that theater pretty conflicted about what I had just watched. That was a Star Trek movie? No, of course it was a J.J. Abram’s movie, and I was trying to go into it expecting what I loved about the last new Trek movie (which, in my opinion, was a whole lot better written than Into Darkness). To be honest, though, I just couldn’t come to terms with this one.

Only about five minutes into my viewing of Star Trek: Into Darkness, I had already started to get nervous about the progression of the film. As you know, we open on a planet where the crew of the Enterprise are trying to save the natives from an erupting volcano (while blatantly violating the Prime Directive). Why couldn’t we see a bit more time spent on this away mission? I felt like there was no reason to rush through this scene and piece together events with quick one-line dialogue (which, might I add, poorly tries to excuse the “We put the Enterprise underwater” bit). I’m not saying it needed to be a particularly lengthy away mission, but the opening scene is one of many examples that perfectly exemplify my main problem with Into Darkness – poor pacing.

Into Darkness never gives us any time to really enjoy what’s going on or interact with the characters before something else is blowing up again or putting the lives of the crew in “immense” danger (and I have to agree with my counter-bot Vagabond Prime when he says that you never actually got the feeling that anybody was going to die. The only exception, for me, was seeing Admiral Pike killed instead of paralyzed – which is honestly where I thought they were going to take that scene.).

Sith-Bot: I absolutely loved it and wanted to get back in line to see it again (and probably will tomorrow), BUT there were some glaring issues that really can’t be ignored, which I’ll get to later.

Swank-mo-tron: I don’t understand why people are saying this isn’t a Star Trek film. There was Kirk, Spock, Starfleet and a whole bunch of Star Trek stuff, only slightly more entertaining. It had interesting dilemmas, great action, and many of the reveals brought tears to my eyes.

Sure, Abrams directed it, and it had his fingerprints all over it, but that doesn’t make it not Star Trek, merely more palatable to a wider audience. That being said, I loved the hell out of this movie, though I had some problems with it. I loved it the same way I loved Superman Returns. It’s a well-constructed homage to another film I loved.

Citizen-Bot: I don’t understand why they’d say that, either. This was most definitely a Trek film. But let me ask a provocative question, which is more about Abrams than anything else: Is the fact that Cumberbatch’s John Harrison is Khan really a spoiler? I think a spoiler is generally something that has to happen near the end or where there’s a huge emotional payoff that is hollow if you hadn’t come on the entire journey (Dumbledore dies. Vader is Luke’s father. Spock dies at the end of Wrath of Khan.) Did it really spoil anything? It had been on IMDB for a month, it was revealed on numerous websites from Australia/New Zealand/Britain and. . . I kind of didn’t know how to process that information. I first was skeptical. (Nah, they wouldn’t. Would they?) Then I was hopeful (It would be awesome if they did.)

I feel like this was handled poorly from the get-go. Is JJ Abrams just so obsessed with spoilers and leaks that they couldn’t figure out how to tell this story without this shell game? If they’d just been up front, announced at Comic-Con “Yes, we’re tackling Khan. But this is not “Space Seed.” This is not The Wrath of Khan. This is a story of how Starfleet is handling getting its ass handed to them by some Romulans from the future, and they make a deal with the devil to try to catch up.” I don’t feel like that would’ve spoiled anything.

Then make just a couple of script changes. When Khan is first revealed in the hospital, and the officer from Section 31 asks him how he can save his daughter, he says, “I am Khan.” Then as Adm Marcus is explaining how this is a guy named David Harrison, either Spock or Pike or someone says, “They’re not telling us something.” And see, we as the audience know what they’re not telling, and we’re along for the ride. I think just being up front with us about this would’ve been better.

Swank-mo-tron: Yes. It’s a spoiler. I hadn’t heard and the revelation blew me away inside the theater.

Vagabond Prime: I would argue that the movie would have been stronger if he had not been Khan at all: Perhaps another augment, or someone who had been enhanced through nano-technology. Ultimately, Harrison being Khan just diminished things. Now, if they had kept him Khan and avoided the magical “Call Old Spock” bit, we could have avoided the cliched turncoat bit at the end. He had a reason for everything he did up to that point. Everything he had done was either for revenge against Marcus, or to protect the other Augments. Why would he turn on Kirk? He just wanted to save his people, and Spock pulls a dick move and phasers his ass into the ground. How about letting Khan have a hero turn? Kirk and Khan team up to take Marcus down. Things on the big ship start going horribly wrong, the warp core breach happens, Khan could even sacrifice himself to save Kirk. End of movie, completely unique spin on an iconic character, and Kirk learns about “real sacrifice” long before he’s an Admiral. That would have taken some balls. But no, let’s just recycle everything from Wrath of Khan.

Swank-mo-tron: Yep, there’s my problem with Khan in this film. The turning on Kirk for no reason.

Sith-Bot: I went in knowing that he was Khan, so I didn’t give the collective gasp the audience did when his name was first said on screen (although how they didn’t guess from the 5 minute exposition explaining his back-story before that is beyond me). I was really intrigued to see how they were going to handle his character due to the fact that he didn’t have the bad blood with Kirk that he did in WoK, and I think they did it well. By making Khan’s vendetta against Starfleet itself, they gave him that strong motivation he needed to be such a bad ass. Unlike Vagabond, I’m fine with the fact that the writers didn’t change him into a different character (hero or otherwise), but I’m in complete agreement about the space call to old Spock. Look, you’re reinventing this classic character, yet try to tie it all into a continuity that can not exist in your world; Space Seed and WoK can’t happen, so why try to tie them all together? Also, Khan’s turning on Kirk made sense as far as his character goes. He’s a bloodthirsty bastard who craves power, and Kirk would be in his way. Also, the fact that Spock phased him, obviously on Kirk’s orders probably didn’t help the situation any either.

Citizen-Bot: There were several plot threads I just wished they’d explored more. The whole issue about whether it was better to blow “Harrison” up on Qo’nos or use the long-range weapons. (A morality tale about Obama and the use of unmanned drones to kill terrorists vs sending in troops?) The weaponization/militarization of scientific discovery. The use of secret branches of the military or a military-intelligence service (Section 31 – always one of my favorite plot threads from Deep Space Nine).

Vagabond Prime: What was the intent of those missiles, anyway? Was Marcus giving them to Khan by firing them at him? Was he planning on killing them all and getting even with Khan? All this is really unclear. It’s implied that the Augments were going to be “set loose” on Qo’Nos.

Citizen-Bot: Which would’ve been a cool idea, too. I kind of feel like the writing process for this was similar to me playing with my toys when I was 10: dump everything out on the floor, and make it fit in, regardless of whether it makes sense to mix Transformers, Star Wars, GI Joes, and Ghostbusters together.

By the end I felt kind of pandered to. Like instead of trying to present a single artistic vision, this got muddled by trying to fit too much into one narrative. Like a sundae where you’ve put too many toppings on it, it’s important to remember to simplify.

Sith-Bot: I believe this is what’s called doing things for shits and giggles. But yeah, a lot of that did feel contrived, and it was easy to tell the writers ran out of ideas or reasons to get the crew where they needed to go, so they just made stuff up and hoped the lens flares would distract us from what was really going on.

Citizen-Bot: And it’s a new record!! We went over 1600 words without making a lens flare joke! I’d like to thank everyone for their restraint.

Vagabond Prime: Sorry, couldn’t read what you wrote through the lense flare…

Miss Mecha: My friends and I have been talking about this since we watched the film. First off, it wasn’t super clear what Khan’s goal even was when he was on Qo’nos. Okay, so he’s bombed the archives and presumably obtained valuable information prior to attacking Starfleet and beaming himself to Qo’Nos… so, what the heck was he going to do next? How long do you really think a guy can hang out on the Klingon homeworld with a gun and a heavy laser? Somehow Kirk shows up for all the right reasons and we’re not supposed to question the insane way all the circumstances have lined up.

Sith-Bot: I agree, that was really weak. If you’re gonna introduce Klingons, DO something with them instead of letting them get shot to hell and getting the crap kicked out of them and their ships.

Miss Mecha: And seriously, I can’t agree with you more about the pandering. I was so sick of callbacks and re-imagined scenes from The Wrath of Khan that I seriously almost laughed at the scene where Kirk was dying. First they send him into the core and let anyone that’s seen the original film know that he’s about to die of radiation poisoning (but don’t worry folks, because you’ll never actually feel like anybody’s in any real danger in this film), then we see him kick a device in the wrong direction to fix the warp core, and finally, we watch as he stumbles back to his most certain “death.” Oh, by the way, did Scotty really want to call Spock down there first or was he even going to try to call McCoy to see if anything could be done? No? Just let him roast? Okay, that seems like the thing to do.

Sith-Bot: I disagree here; Kirk’s dying got to me, and I didn’t find it cheap at all. Granted, it was a reverse rehash, but I felt as emotional as I did when Spock died in the original. Unfortunately, the way they were going to revive Kirk was telegraphed from the opening scene in the hospital, so I wasn’t too pleased with that. What they should have done was let Kirk stay dead and introduce a new captain in the next film. Sure, it would have pissed some people off, but it would have made for a more interesting and emotionally impactful ending, and it’s not as if he would have had to stay dead — no one dies forever in these types of movies.

Swank-mo-tron: Yeah, for me all the call backs were what worked the best. The second Carol Marcus was revealed, an image of David and the history of loss that caused for Kirk Prime appeared in my head, that moment of him falling over the chair in Star Trek III, and it almost brought a tear to my eye. I never felt pandered to once.

Citizen-Bot: They can have Alice Eve as Carol Marcus in every Star Trek movies from now until the end of the franchise. In fact, I demand it.

Miss Mecha: I wonder if it has anything to do with this?

Just kidding…I actually thought she was a great character and was happy to see the strong stance she tried to take against her father’s wrongdoings.

Vagabond Prime: The Carol Marcus stuff didn’t bother me in the slightest. It was all of the recycled stuff from WoK. Most of what worked in Wrath of Khan was because of history. No history, much less impact, at least for me. When Spock died in WoK, he was fucking SPOCK. He had been SPOCK for decades. These guys had been family for longer than I had been alive. New crew? They’re friends, sure. But hardly family… yet. I love that Kirk was going on his 5 year mission with who might be the love of his life on board. I really dug the re-imagined Khan, how he was found, used, etcetera. It was the sloppy throw-backs that kept getting to me. I would get into the movie, and then they would ape on WoK. Rush through something else, then ape on WoK again. Almost like the writers were setting up action sequences just to string along the WoK tribute show, and looking desperately for old Trek stuff to pull from. It was like “people loved it when Kirk shouts Khan’s name! Let’s do that! But have Spock do it!

Sith-Bot: What about when I do it? KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

Citizen-Bot: My turn: KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vagabond Prime: MADALYN KHAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

Sith-Bot: Thanks, I just spit out good vodka laughing.

Citizen-Bot: Na zdorovye, comrade!

Vagabond Prime: I have been struggling with some huge logic issues: Scotty can use the transporter to beam anyone across the galaxy onto a moving ship, but they can’t pull Spock out of a volcano. The transporters work just fine on the Enterprise during the scene that sets up Kirk’s command dismissal, yet they hide the ship underwater, allowing natives to see the Enterprise as it rises from the sea. There was no need for this to happen. They did it because it looked cool, and that’s it. One mention of “ionic interference” in the atmosphere would have shut me the hell up.

Also, why do we need to beam people onto the top of a moving shuttle (again, we can’t pull a stationary dude from a volcano, but the top of a fast-moving shuttle? SURE!) to get Khan’s blood? THERE ARE SEVENTY TWO FREAKING AUGMENTS IN SUSPENDED ANIMATION ON BOARD! If they are all genetically engineered super-men, you would think a medical genius of McCoy’s calibre would catch on to that. But shuttle-top fights look cooler.

Miss Mecha: I facepalmed at this point, because McCoy even went out of his way to remove one of them from the tube so Kirk could go in it (and keep the guy in a coma during that time). He couldn’t just… borrow some blood while he pulled the guy out for a bit?

Sith-Bot: I assumed it was because their blood was frozen so it was unusable right at that moment, and they needed to get it into Kirk as fast as possible before more lasting damage was done.

Vagabond Prime: You’re making excuses for shitty writing, Sith-Bot. One of those very same Augments is in a COMA on the ship somewhere.

Sith-Bot: Shitty writing aside, I was willing to suspend disbelief because I was drawn into the film. Sure there were a lot of mistakes, and I’m not excusing them, but I was having so much fun, I didn’t notice at the time. Looking back, I’m seeing a lot of the gaps in the plot, but it didn’t take away from my enjoyment of the movie. Could it have been better? Definitely, and I don’t even think I can say it’s in my top 5 Trek movies, but I still loved the hell out of it.

Vagabond Prime: My last gripe, promise: why did Kirk need to be stripped of command at all? He’s back in the Chair in ten minutes. You could have had the strong reprimand, even the lecture/pep-talk in the bar. That could all be present in the story and still have Kirk in place to see Pike die. All of the emotional gravitas would still be there. EVERY other Captain in the area was present at the big meeting, we don’t need Kirk demoted to get his ass in the conference.

Here’s the sad part: I was completely on board, logic flaws and all, until the Celestial Phone Call to Spock Prime. From that point forward, the movie pretty much trampled every ounce of good will I had towards it. Anyone who bitches about Vader’s “NOOOOOO” in Revenge of the Sith had best have the same gripe about Spock’s “KHAAAAAAAN!”. It’s just as bad, if not worse.

Swank-mo-tron: I never once bitched about Vader’s Nooooo. Nor Spock’s Khaaaaan. I dug ‘em both.

Vagabond Prime: You and I are united on our love of Revenge of the Sith, Swank. I’m talking about all the haters out there that immediately point out the “NOOOOOOOO” as why that movie sucks.

Citizen-Bot: I loved Vader’s Noooooo! I hated the middle finger to the fanboys in the ROTJ Blu-Ray version, but that’s a different story. And I got a big goofy grin when Spock when all Shatner on that Khaaaaaan!!!!!!

Sith-Bot: The NOOOOO didn’t bother me in ROTS either, but as you said, ROTJ was a different story. Maybe I’m lame, but I liked it. I wonder if Chris Pine felt like he got robbed, though, “Khan should have been mine, dammit!”

Citizen-Bot: Note to Chris Pine: In next contract re-negotiations, make sure to add a rider that no one gets to yell “Khan!!!” except for you.

Miss Mecha: I can’t stand this part of the movie, at all. They go out of their way to have future Spock say that he’s vowed not to share any information about the future, and then immediately violate that because, otherwise, how could these characters from an alternate timeline ever possibly figure out how to take down Khan by themselves? It’s almost as if they’re discrediting this crew a bit. Can they not figure out anything on their own?

Sith-Bot: That was the worst part of the movie; groan worthy, laugh out loud for the wrong reasons bad.

Vagabond Prime: I still enjoyed the hell out of Into Darkness, but we have to address the “Highlander 2” levels of stupidity the writers threw in there!

Citizen-Bot: I just think they were trying to be too clever. Rather than actually being clever, they just were saying, “See how smart we are? You wanted ______? Here it is! You wanted _____? There it is!”

Sith-Bot: He just threw it all at the wall to see what would stick, and while there was a lot of good stuff there, it also ended up being a pretty big mess.

Vagabond Prime: With all this lip-service to Trek-That-Was, I’m surprised there wasn’t a reference to “Turnabout Intruder”. I’m all for paying tribute, but if you want me cheering, do something original. Cumberbatch rocked his part; he would have rocked it no matter what. Give him something worthy of his performance. The whole cast is exceptional, they deserve something better than “big summer fun”. We can have smart in “big summer fun”, too.

Sith-Bot: Cumberbatch was excellent, and it’s a shame he wasn’t in it more. Considering how much the story revolves around him and how much hype there was for his character in the ad campaign, he didn’t have nearly enough screen time.

Citizen-Bot: Every second he was on screen he was a delight. Love him.

Miss Mecha: Okay, I love Cumberbatch – give me more of him anytime! Really…

So, in closing on some of my gripes, I did enjoy about 30 – 40% of the movie, and if the film had taken the time to be smart and figure out the pacing, I think there was a lot of potential this movie could have capitalized on. Yes, there were fun moments, and yes I did like some of the dialogue, but overall I just left the theater disappointed and wishing they had taken the time to let us breathe a bit between all the shiny and excitement they were trying to cram in.

Vagbond Prime: It’s the Del Taco of Trek movies: Great while it’s in front of you, then you’re uncomfortable and wondering what the hell was really there an hour later.

Sith-Bot: But like Del Taco, you get a craving and just have to go back and do it again!

Citizen-Bot: Now I want Del Taco. Damn you!!!!! KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!! And I want to go back and see this movie again. And despite all my bitching, this is still my second favorite movie of the year so far.

Vagabond Prime: So do I, and I will buy it on BluRay when it comes out. But it gets to stay at the kid’s table when I’m watching my fave Trek movies. This movie is a crap-ton of fun, and there is nothing wrong with that. But when I know what you are capable of as a filmmaker, I’m less likely to give you a pass. Luckily, anything that went screwy with this was just because JJ was day-dreaming about Episode 7. If there is one thing we know about that from watching this, it will be exciting as hell.

So, what do you think, fellow robots? Love it? Hate it? Let us know!

Vagabond Prime here: My 12-year-old daughter-unit, BabyGorinkaBot, is quite the Doctor Who fan. So much so, that my meager fandom  can barely orbit hers, constantly in danger of being yanked into its gravitational pull.  The Name of the Doctor has a lot going on, here’s BabyGorinkaBot with her thoughts:

 The final episode of this season of Doctor Who aired yesterday in America, and sadly we have to wait until November 23 to see more. Here is my summary of this episode, with some spoilers.

In the intro, it shows Clara falling through space, with a monologue about saving the doctor. She sees each incarnation of him, and tries to help him in some way. It goes back to regular, with Jenny and Vastra. They call a conference with Strax, which involves a weird trance. Clara is making a soufflé, or at least attempting it. She sees a piece of mail, from Vastra, and opens it up stairs, which puts her under the spell trancy thingy as well.They all meet in the trance with River, and talk about a weird omen. Jenny dies, and Strax and Vastra wake up.

Clara wakes, and sees the Doctor. They go to Trenzalore, as the ominous man told, and River is linked with Clara’s mind. They’re attacked by classy faceless dudes (that looked like the Gentlemen from Buffy in my opinion) and go into a secret catacomb entrance in River’s grave. Did I mention she was apparently buried there too? Well, she’s not. They find their way to a giant version of the TARDIS, from the future, where Vastra, Jenny (Strax healed her), and Strax are being held up by the Great Intelligence (from the snowmen, will that guy ever go away?) and some more creepy stylish dudes. They all go into the giant TARDIS, and the Doctor explains that when it kinda broke all the bigger on the inside stuff seeped out and made it all big. GI goes into the Doctor’s time stream, which is like his corpse, and reverses every good thing that ever happened. Clara realizes that before she has saved him, and goes in there too, to revert everything again. That’s why she has to save the Doctor in the intro. The Doctor comes in to save her, and they show his darkest secret, who is another Doctor. This dude is played by John Hurt, and then it’s over!

Well, that was longer than expected. I really liked this episode! I like all Doctor Who though, but Moffat left us another BEHEMOTH cliff hanger, like in Sherlock. There is much speculation already about what regeneration of the doctor he is, if he is the real 9th doctor, which makes Smith the 12th, or if he is #12. I, on the other hand, am not going to speculate on this, and just wait. One annoying thing: They didn’t even reveal what the Doctor’s name is!

This review will contain spoilers, anything going beyond the scope of the episode will be done in white text and will be preceded by *Spoiler*, episode spoilers will not be prefaced.

Last week was pretty fucked up. While Jon was getting laid and finally knowing something Ygritte didn’t Theon was losing his dick. Sansa was preparing to get hitched to the least awful Lannister while Arya was being kidnapped by Sandor Clegane. Hodor was gettin real sick of Osha and Jamie and Brienne were fighting a bear. The only character who isn’t going through hell right now is the Khaleesi, which I’m just going to assume will change real soon.

Star Trek Into Darkness will be hitting theaters this weekend, and it’s thrilling. And, as sad as this makes me to admit, it’s dumb as hell. JJ Abrams’ second foray into the Trek universe has a lot to say, and crams a whole bunch of ideas and half-baked conceits into its 132 minute run-time. There is a lot to like here, and quite a bit to love… But don’t think about it too much, or the movie starts to come apart at the seems. For a movie featuring a Vulcan, there is very little logic at play, and a whole lot of  because we CAN.

The movie opens on an alien world and a fun, fast paced chase. James Kirk just swiped an alien artifact to pull an aboriginal culture away from their village, giving Spock enough time to stop a neighboring volcano from erupting and killing all life on the planet. Spock gets stranded in the volcano, which leads Kirk to break the Prime Directive and reveal the Enterprise to the natives in a daring rescue. On the surface, the open is amazing: Kirk and McCoy have great rapport, Spock is suitably heroic, and we get to see the Enterprise lurking off shore in the ocean. Seeing the Enterprise rise up out of the sea is breath-taking, and the natives think so, too. After their brief glimpse of our favorite Constitution class cruiser, the locals decide to worship it as a god. This sets up Kirk being relieved of command, and is essentially the hinge the rest of the story revolves around.

Is Ryker Flying the Ship?

And it’s a mess, if you try to think about it. The Enterprise being underwater, as cool as it was, didn’t need to happen. The transporter works just fine, as do the shuttles. The film-makers created this scene merely “because they could“. As awesome as the scene plays out, any iota of thought will blow a hole right through the scene. And this is what the entirety of the movie is built around.

The first 2/3rds of the movie is great Trek, regardless of any leaps in logic we are expected to make. The villain, John Harison, is a disgruntled former Starfleet officer who masterminds a brutal act of terror in London. Benedict Cumberbatch is fantastic as Harison, full of brooding malice and cold calculation. His motives are explained thoroughly, and his desire to protect what he cherishes most is completely relate-able. He would have made a fantastic Trek villain even without the big “surprise” plot twist half way through the movie, perhaps even stronger without it.

Do you still hear it, Clarice?

The Enterprise crew is top notch as well; there is a lot of camaraderie and good will at work here, even when Spock files a report that shoots Kirk in the back. Into Darkness plays heavily on themes of friendship, brotherhood, and loyalty, effectively the glue that holds any effective Trek venture together. The cast are having a great time, and at no point do they disappoint. Carl Urban’s Doctor McCoy pretty much steals the movie, and every other actor pulls their weight in whatever capacity given. There are some great nods to Trek-gone-by, too. Christine Chapel is name-checked, Gorn are mentioned, and a Tribble makes an appearance. Trek fans during the showing I was at ate this up.

The last third of the movie, though, nagged at me horribly. It was almost as if the writers went through the “Big Book of Trek” and highlighted everything that had ever been in a Star Trek movie before, and decided to do it again. Old Trek, New Trek, you name it, they go back to it. Loved the sky-surfing scene in the first Nu-Trek movie? How about more! And longer! Ooh! Remember the scene where Enterprise comes up out of the clouds? Yeah! Do it again! And let’s not forget the Engine room scene in Wrath of Khan! People loved that! DO IT AGAIN! And they do, again and again. Because they can.

Careful with that MacGuffin, boys!

It’s really hard to hold on to the good-will that was built up over the first 2/3rds of the movie when the writers keep going back to the tried-and true. It’s also really, really tough to feel like anyone is ever in any danger. Harrison is tough and clever, but there is very little about Cumberbatch that comes across as intimidating. Peter Weller’s Admiral Marcus has some menace to him, but again… where is the danger? The size of the explosions definitely sell some threat, but you know, deep down, that everyone is going to be just fine at the end. Instead of piecing together a cohesive finale, Abrams and company went for spectacle and chest-pounding heroics. It’s all very exciting to watch, but terribly hollow by the time the end credits roll.

“Hey, this time I want to go in the radiation chamber!”

Star Trek Into Darkness is by no means a bad movie, nor anywhere near the worst Trek has to offer. I place it with Generations and the Undiscovered Country; exciting, with some glaring flaws. It’s fun Trek, but by no means Great Trek.

CitizenBot and I will be back next week to talk about Spoiler-specific parts of the movie. We thought we would be nice and give you some time, so get out and see Into Darkness this weekend!

No small talk this time. I’m just going to go ahead and put it out there. This might be the single greatest episode of Supernatural that has ever aired.

It’s at this point that I usually give a summary. Not going to do that this time. If you have not seen the episode and still want to read the review – I sincerely thank you. But I also want you to be able to experience this episode as intended, and as executed: with all the tension, laughs, mystery and tears it provides. My only very small complaint – and I really hesitate to call it that, it’s far too strong of a word – is that fans already new about a renewal and casting for season nine, and that erased the teeniest bit of mystery.

There are no bullet point divisions tonight. There is no “meh,” there is no “really?” and there is no “you broke your own rules.” There is only “DEAR GOD THAT WAS AWESOME.” So instead, just a few style observations and my favorite bits:

• Is it me, or was there a new style of cinematography tonight? Lots of close ups and character based shots. There also seemed to be a lot of abrupt, quick edits. I enjoyed both.
• I really love that most angels have never met God. I won’t assume that it’s a metaphor or a statement, but I like the implications for His use in the show and I like what it says about the mission statement of angels. I still wager that one day God will be the Big Bad.
• A return to Bobby’s junkyard. Ouch, man. Ouch. Those car skeletons, while still totally boss, were like a punch in the gut.
• Jensen Ackles, I am so proud of you. This man is always hilarious, completely capable, but throughout this entire season he proved that he has some serious chops. Tonight, with the watery eyes and no spillage? Good GOD man (punny teehee). That’s impressive. Both men were simply amazing tonight, and surpassed your average genre TV performance by a landslide. Gosh, this might be petty, but it surpassed CW acting most specifically. It’s not a judgement! But kinda true.
• Yes, there were tears, but there some hearty laughs as well, mostly from the King of Hell. He sympathized and wept over “Girls.” Go ahead and read that again. High point of the comedy for me? Crowley fights dirty – he’s a biter, and the absurdity is that Sam is actually appalled by it. Crowley has been wheelin’ and dealin’ souls for eons, he kills on a whim and has no respect for, well, anything, and Sam is appalled that he bites. Hilarious.
• And can we please just talk about Mark Sheppard? Mark. Effing. Sheppard. Last week he gave an amazing, chill inducing villain soliloquy and this week… spoilers, darling. Mark. Effing. Sheppard. How this man has never won an Emmy is beyond any level of comprehension.

OK, I have to end with one spoiler. If you don’t want it, don’t read below.

Does this mean that Booger is the Big Bad next year?

Darth Vader gets tested as the ninth assassin sizes up his target, and the plot goes big in this week’s Star Wars comic release: Darth Vader and the Ninth Assassin #2. (more…)

Many moons ago, I ran out of things to watch on Netflix. This is not an exaggeration. I use the service in such a way as to get every single penny’s worth of investment out of it. I had devoured IT Crowd and Archer (twice), watched Little Britain to the point of quotability, and the conspiracy theory documentaries had started to get to me. What was a ‘bot to do? I scrolled down to the “recently added” section and stumbled upon Mtv’s reboot of Teen Wolf.

Admittedly – that particular combination of words left a foul smirk on my face. Mtv? Reboot? A Teen Wolf that doesn’t star national treasure Michael J. Fox? Harumph, I declared. But then I got bored, and then I felt judgy, and then I felt old. And then I polled my friends – should I watch? They all replied – immediately, by the way – with a resounding “NO.” The general opinion was that if there is no van surfing, it simply should not exist. But then I totally disregarded the opinions of all my friends and watched it anyway. It took me about two episodes, but, you guys?

Teen Wolf is pretty good. Quite fun, at the very least. Yes, there is a sappy teen romance plot, but if I am not mistaken, the movie had that as well. We were just a little younger so it was OK. And while I remain only moderately invested in the romance between Teen Wolf and Forbidden Girlfriend, there are plenty of other facets that keep me coming back to the show.

The production value is outstanding – lots of action oriented camera work, some amazing sets, a “small town” feel that is captured precisely. True, the cast is full of pretty people, but while some of them are movie-star hot, a lot of them are regular people hot. Of course they’re all hot. This is Mtv. Let’s not jump the gun here.

The acting might have started out at Smallville season 1 level, but by the end of the first season we had gotten to, like, Smallville season 5. In season 2 of Teen Wolf, Michael Hogan joins the cast and I will watch literally anything that Michael Hogan is in. He’s so devious. And Canadian!

Can we please just talk about the music? I got more exposure to new music from one season of this show that I have from the last ten years from Mtv proper. I have entire Spotify playlists based on this show, and have become fans of musicians I likely would have never heard.

While Teen Wolf is pretty dark for a teen oriented drama, the comedic duet of Dylan O’Brien as Stiles and, as the straight-man, Linden Ashby is nigh on perfection. Dylan O’Brien is a damn funny kid, and honestly, his trajectory is the one in which I am most interested. Holland Roden, as sidekicky/snotty Lydia, also brings a lot of depth to the show. I promise, she does. You just have to give her character a little time.

I suppose I would be remiss to not mention Tyler Hoechlin. Many folks probably tuned into Teen Wolf because of the smoldering Hoechlin, who plays a sort of mentor werewolf to Tyler Posey’s Scott McCall. His character might have been created as the hot non-teen to draw in older viewers and he is shirtless a lot, but that doesn’t mean he is without purpose. He is actually a very important facet of the show. I simply can’t find him hot because

There are 20 days left until the premiere of season three on June 3, but since most of our progrums have already aired finales, you have plenty of time to stream the first two seasons on Netflix. It’s a fun show that will keep you on your toes, and it arrives just in time to be a perfect summer evening guilty pleasure. You can pop over to Mtv.com to stream a completely non-spoilery promo for season 3.

This review will contain spoilers, anything going beyond the scope of the episode will be done in white text and will be preceded by *Spoiler*, episode spoilers will not be prefaced.

Last week may not have been the most action packed but was still great, and gave a strong ending and an intense speech by Littlefinger. I feel like this week may just be some movements before we go down the homestretch.

The Good

• The Blackfish is a constant bad ass. Every scene he appears in he owns.
• Wolf puppies in the Volantine belly. More Starks, more heirs. Even though half the Stark cubs left are presumed dead.
• Can we get a weekly sex advice with Tormund Giantsbane? 
• Sansa’s face at the thought of boning Tyrion is great. The fact that Sophie Tuner is damn near as tall as Hodor now just adds to this.
• Charles Dance has the best “I will fucking end you” look. I can’t imagine anyone else playing Twyin Lannister.
• Speaking of looks…Daenerys has the best “Are you gonna talk shit while I have 3 dragons ready to melt your face?”
• *Spoiler* “The Lannisters send their regards.” Ugh Red Wedding is going to be so brutal.
• Hodor is the greatest. Conveys more with a “Hodor” than so many other actors can.
  
• Well there’s the bear and the maiden fair! Solid ending!

The “Bad”

• The charm is going out of Ygritte. Everything is “pfff you southnahs don’t know anythin about anythin! I’m so awesome.” She’s been overdone.
• Arya is one angry young wolf. Can’t say that I blame her. It really sucks to see her go from one shitstorm to another even when it’s compelling. 
• Stop making me feel bad for Theon! The little fucker!
• I’ve been wondering why Osha was so against the Reeds and it makes perfect sense now. They are explaining her run from beyond the wall, the wights and everything else. Seems like an odd way to do it to me but I guess they can’t really just send her back without a fight.

A bit of a divider in the Star Trek community, Generations brought my favorite Star Trek characters onto the big screen and did some pretty major…things that are highly controversial. Before I get started, let’s watch a really dated trailer.

When I started reviewing this, I thought to myself, where exactly do I rank Generations on my list of Trek movies from best to worst? To be honest, this is the most difficult movie for me to rate because there are some parts I enjoyed and, overall, I really wanted to love this movie… but that’s why it’s even more disappointing that Generations face-plants hard into the realm of the odd-numbered Trek movies. I can hear myself saying to those that ask, “Eh, it was ok.” It’s not the worst, certainly not “good” by any stretch of the imagination – it just holds a rather underwhelming place in Trek continuity.

So, since you’re reading this and you’ve presumably seen the movie, I’m just going to dive in and talk about the things that could have made this a great movie for those of us that adore the Next Gen Cast. Spoilers ahead!

Kirk’s Death – Might as well start with the point everybody brings up when you ask them about this movie. Generations opens in the past, and in the beginning it demonstrates that it had the opportunity to provide some closure around Kirk’s death. If this was how Kirk had died, I think most of us would have been totally on board. Why? Because he would have been taken out saving the Enterprise B and a whole crew full of people.

Instead, we got one of the most frustrating and unsatisfying death scenes a captain of the Enterprise has ever (and hopefully will ever) experience. For those of you that don’t know, Kirk’s death (in which he was shot/stabbed by Soren instead of dying via cascading bridge) was re-written at the last minute due to a leak. This serves as yet another example of an internet leak scaring writers into making a knee-jerk decision that greatly hurt overall story.

Data – there are some points where we start to see Data’s character explored on a deeper level as he continues his quest to become human (since his emotion chip is re-installed and becomes a bit of a plot point when he can’t stop Geordi’s kidnapping). As an anthropologist, I’ve always been fascinated by how Data learns and grows based on what he observes to be the most significant (and often perplexing) qualities that make us human. In many ways, it should say a lot to us about who we are while we’re watching. Unfortunately, there are also points in Generations where they don’t explore this as much as they should or simply use Data as a bit of comic relief while he’s dealing with his emotions (“Oh shit,” as they are crashing into the planet, for instance). Don’t get me wrong, though, I love the “Tiny little life-forms” bit. /no-shame

Soren – Malcolm Mcdowell is an incredible actor, and he does a pretty good job of at least making sure Generations‘ main villain is sufficiently threatening, but would it have hurt them to maybe have him get a little more screen-time? The Nexus was a cool concept and had great “unexplained” elements to it. As viewers we could completely understand why Soren wanted to go back to the Nexus so badly.

Lursa and B’Etor – Soren really didn’t need these bumbling Klingon sisters to achieve his goals. Couldn’t they at least given him some badass Klingons that appeared a bit more threatening? At times they crossed from ‘silly and useless’ into ‘completely inept.’ I always liked the portrayal of the Klingons in Star Trek VI and wished that, like the Klingons in that film, the sisters had posed a much more serious threat. I get that we’re trying to show two Klingons that have been failures in the empire as a whole, but did this really need to happen?

This part was pretty cool, though. Can’t go wrong with a badass Riker moment!

How could it be that these poor excuses for Klingons took down the Enterprise D?!? I’ll never forget seeing the saucer section crash sequence in theaters – at least they did a good job of making the crash epic given the special effects at the time. They also did a good job of reminding everyone in the audience that this was a Galaxy Class Starship that carried civilians. When I picked up the Bluray, I noticed that they had added back in the full crash sequence I saw in the theaters, whereas the VHS and DVD versions I had owned much earlier had cut it significantly. Here you can see a bit of the edited (shorter) sequence in action:

Guinan – My long standing theory on Guinan is that she’s a Q or some other being that has observed the happenings in the universe for hundreds (maybe even thousands) of years – explaining both her holistic knowledge, tendency to give plot-driving advice, and her overall calm in the face of serious danger. I realize she’s an El-Aurian (a race of listeners), but since the Q we know and love from Next Gen once said there was much more to her “than could be imagined” I’m pretty certain my Q theory could hold some weight. Here, we see Guinan giving advice in the Nexus, and her overall part in the film is actually relatively solid, but I could have seen her showing up a bit more if we wanted to make her character a driving point in the film.

Picard and Kirk – So, the two captains are eventually united in the Nexus (a Holodeck like setting where we could have seen any number of interesting writing choices) and instead we see poor Picard chase Kirk around while he makes eggs and rides a horse. Picard finally snaps Kirk out of the Nexus and he’s ready to go back and make a difference. Every Trek fan in the universe got excited here because we thought to ourselves, “Yes! Soren is a decent villain, and Kirk is a much better fighter than Picard ever was (I think we’ve seen him punch enough aliens to trust that he’s better at hand-to-hand combat). So, we’re going to see Kirk and Picard team up and kick Soren’s ass!” Unfortunately, we were wrong, and we end up at my first point (in which we get a rather anti-climactic fight and Kirk plummets to his death). Couldn’t he have just gotten a sufficiently epic fight ending with Kirk being shot (or stabbed, per the original plan) when he delivered the line “Actually I am familiar with history Captain, and if I’m not too much mistaken, you’re dead.”

To steal one of my friend’s phrases, this movie makes me feel “surround sound disappointment.”  In summary – I’m not the biggest fan of Generations. I wish I could say more positive things about it, but the enjoyable moments just don’t outweigh the rest, particularly due to the treatment around Kirk’s death.

What do you think? Love it? Hate it? Let us know in the comments below!