You guys. My tummy hurts rill bad. Every time I write something for this show, I’m tempted to note that “it was the most tense hour of television I have ever seen” but I never do, because next week is always the most tense hour of television I’ve ever seen. Case in point? “Confessions.” Wanna have a little fun? If you aren’t current on the show, first of all read no further, and second don’t click this link which will take you to a poll. Let’s get a feel for how fans think the show will end.

The show opened with Todd and cohorts in a skeevy diner as Todd recounts the events of “Train (one of my favorite episodes, by the way).” After Todd makes a call to Mr. White to inform him of the change of management, they finish their breakfasts and return to Albuquerque city limits for Todd to make his first cook. Meanwhile, Walter believes he has tied his last loose ends – Hank and Jesse. But Jesse, at the last second, becomes untied. Completely unhinged, if you will.

Early in the episode we see Walter filming the intro to his confession in the White home. The Whites arrange a dinner with Hank and Marie to wheel, deal, wager, and when none of that works, to confess. Walter slips the recording across the table.

In a beautifully filmed shot, Hank and Marie watch as Walter confesses that he has been cooking meth and murdering people because Hank made him do it. It’s glorious. It’s … my god. The tape started rolling at 9:27, and the spell broke at 9:31 when I giggled (“Jesus Christ Marie”), but I would have sworn that half the show had just played out. Walter went in to minute and believable details on just how tortured and manipulated he has been for the past year. Remember Bill Hicks’s routing about Officer Big Balls? Yeah. Walt is Officer Big Balls.

In a scene packed with emotions I have yet to sort, Walter convinced Jesse to disappear. He Heisenberged it, with saccharine sentiments and elder wisdom, but Jesse’s had just about enough of that shit and called: “Just tell me you need this!” Walter never did, and instead embraced the broken man, who through the miracle of talent and makeup has aged ten years in the one year time line we’ve been watching. Jesse was almost a man that ceased to exist when he realized how the ricin had disappeared and reported directly to Walter’s home (well, not directly, he presumably stopped at a gas station first) to let Walt know exactly how he felt about that. With fire.

And I just have to note this small thing: About 30 years ago George Lucas via Luke Skywalker taught me about metaphoric lighting. It’s one camera trick that always jumps out at me, even when I admittedly miss a lot of other clues. Walter has been lit with varying ratios of light:dark, but tonight, when speaking to Skylar, was nested in total darkness. Not a hint of light on his face. Rather telling, I should think.

How do they do this? How do they take me, in 50ish minutes, from lounging with the dog on my tummy to chain smoking with my ass barely touching the couch? How do I now pity Hank, the man who reminded me of football coaches and bullies of yore? Why am I screaming for Jesse to just run, run far away and don’t look back? Why am I petrified of Bryan Cranston?

Because this is the best writing that has ever aired on television. Probably the best performances, too, but those only go so far with sub par scripting. There are only five episodes left, and I really planned on saving that statement for my last review, but why bother. This show is killing me in the best way possible. No matter what happens in “Felina” I know my opinion will not differ.

So yeah – five episodes. Who’s not ready? *raises hand* Let’s have a brief review of episode titles:

“Rabid Dog.” Based on tonight’s episode, oh god this literally just hit me as I typed “tonight’s episode.” Jesse has lost his shit. What happens to rabid dogs?

“To’hajiilee.” To’hajiilee is a Navajo reservation west of Albuquerque. Housed on the reservation is a medical clinic. Maybe the rabid dog won’t be put down?

“Ozymandias.” The fallen king. Well, allegedly. Anyway – Percy Shelley’s sonnet. Read below:

For those who don’t know, The World’s End is the third film in Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost’s self-titled “Cornetto Trilogy.” It rounds off what was started with Shaun of the Dead and carried forward into Hot Fuzz.

The World’s End tells the tale of Gary King (Simon Pegg), who convinces his high school mates to reluctantly take up the challenge of “The Golden Mile.” It’s a pub crawl: 12 pints, 12 pubs, no compromises. Their last big hurrah of high school was to attempt this but never finished it. For Gary, not finishing might have been one of the biggest tragedies of his life.

I don’t want to say much more about the story of the film than that, to be honest. And I’d suggest you stay away from the trailers if you haven’t already seen them.

Just go see this movie.

Edgar Wright and Simon Pegg have once again crafted a screenplay here that is a finely tuned Swiss watch. No one writes screenplays this carefully or deliberately in Hollywood these days. Every set up has a payoff, every moment of the film is carefully charted for maximum comedic effect, and every beat and turn in the story is at once natural, but absurd in a believable way.

It’s remarkable how far this film descends into the absurd, but the writing, directing, and acting is all so good that it never feels as though you’ve lost your grounding or your grip on reality. This is a perfect example of a film that I wish existed in a time where you didn’t need trailers and you didn’t need to give away where the film is going in those trailers. I’d love to see this play out for a person who has no idea what might be coming.

This film is a master class in story structure. Nothing is wasted and every moment is efficient and effective. Each moment in the film propels us to the next effortlessly and reasonably, no matter how absurd the story gets, the next step makes sense.

I know “efficient” and “effective” aren’t words one is looking to hear in a film review, but those are qualities I admire in storytelling. They’re taking ambitious risks and have done all the work to make them come off flawlessly.

Edgar Wright is the sort of filmmaker I hope to be and movies as finely tuned as this make me realize how far I have to go.

It’s important to highlight the cast of this film as well. Simon Pegg takes risks as the unlikable and pathetic Gary King, trapped in his 1990 high school life. Nick Frost gets outside of his normal sphere as well, playing a responsible family man who just wants to get past the sort of life Gary represents. The rest of their gang, Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, and Eddie Marsan, are nothing short of brilliant in their character portrayals and comedic timing.

I was also happy to see another James Bond alum in a Cornetto trilogy film. In Hot Fuzz, underrated Bond Timothy Dalton is one of the funniest parts of the film. In The World’s End, former Bond Pierce Brosnan plays the Rope-like Jimmy Stewart professor to Simon Pegg’s student.

I want to see what they’d do with George Lazenby.

While I’d need to see this film again to truly comment on the quantity and quality of the laughs compared to the other films in the Cornetto trilogy, it’s safe to say that this film is in the same league as the first two films. I had a smile on my face the whole time and not a minute went by when I wasn’t laughing. If you enjoyed those, you’re going to enjoy this.

If you didn’t enjoy those films, I’m not even sure why we’re talking.

If you did enjoy all those films, then check back to Big Shiny Robot! over the coming weeks to check out interviews I did at San Diego Comic-Con with Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost.

Catching up from Comic-Con, I check out the progress that Darth Vader is making against a bizarre cult that has threatened the Empire – is it all a trap set by a mysterious assassin? Signs point to yes. But who is powerful enough to defeat the Dark Lord of the Sith? (more…)

Catching up from Comic-Con, here’s my review of the first issue in the “A Spark Remains” in Star Wars: Dark Times. Dass Jennir and the Uhumele crew are reunited, but things are always awkward among bros when someone brings their girlfriend into the mix. Oh, yeah – they also try to kill Darth Vader. (more…)

About one month ago I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy. They put me on some medicine and told me that I could have racing thoughts, rapid heart beat and might notice that I’m clenching my jaw a lot. I have in fact had all of these symptoms, but only on Sunday nights and the medicine is most definitely not the cause.

I volunteered to review the show every week and I’m not really sure why. With my other reviews, “Supernatural” and “American Horror Story,” I get to have a lot of fun/snark (respectively) and never have to worry about relaying how I feel about the episode to readers, because those reviews are about sparking discussion/fangirling/ripping a show a new a-hole. But “Breaking Bad”? My review each week – literally – could just be a video of me shrieking “AAAAAUGH IT’S SO GOOD.” I have watched and loved a lot of TV for a lot of years, and I truly believe this might be the greatest television drama that has ever aired. And my IRL friends know how I feel about the X-Files, soooo…

So instead of me recording a video that just showcases my disgusted noises and gestures growing inversely proportionate with my level of amazement at the writing and performances involved, let’s just have a recap and then talk about something that’s been perturbing me for a few seasons.

The show opened with an old man finding Jesse cash. He follows it like a trail of Oreos to a catatonic Pinkman, circling on a playground merry-go-round. After the insane garage confrontation of last week, Hank lets Walter waltz out of the garage. Unfortunately, Hank also gets to Skylar first. The family is wrecked as Marie finds out what has been going on all along and meanwhile Walter is burying a go-gillion dollars in the middle of the desert (scene of the week – Huell pulling an Indecent Proposal on Walt’s mound o’ cash). But Skylar doesn’t narc. Her motives are as yet unclear – does she want no consequences for Walt? Is she more concerned about the money? But she clammed up and told Walt what Hank later admitted – there is no case. Not yet. There’s a missing piece.

So let’s talk about Skylar. If you’d like to witness some arbitrary internet vitriol, check out the Skylar hashtag on twitter. MAN people hate her! Like, wow! Do I think Skylar is a role model and one of the “good guys”? Aw hell nah. Has she been justified in most of her heinous actions? Yeah, pretty much. I do not understand the fan hate. It leads me to believe that a lot of viewers are watching to root for Heisenberg and therefor anyone who might sell him out is the enemy. And while I don’t judge their opinions, I feel really sad that they are missing all the questions and introspection that this show creates. Walter White is not your hero. Walter White is a monster who has dragged every adult he has touched down his spiral. And even beyond this Skylar issue, who do you root for? Do you, as a viewer and participant in this tale, do you want anyone to win?

Ah, see what I did there? Jesse’s opening spiral. The show occasionally utilizes camera metaphors, and tonight I caught two. The aforementioned merry-go-round, and later as Walter returns from his cash burial there was an assiduous shot of Walt in the bathroom mirror, right before he passed out. And PS – that shot of Walt hitting the bathroom floor made me feel like I had licked a battery. It was an amazing shot.

Tonight also featured Lydia and a visit to the meth operation she is currently funding. The product is sub-par, and ol’ Lydia arranges and execution that she can’t digest in order to hand over the Heisenberg mantle to – of all people – Todd. Fucking Todd, amirite?

Tonight really comes down to Hank, though. Through all the family dynamics, the sudden venom between Skylar and Marie, the tenderness of Skylar’s and Walter’s scene, Hank’s influence was there. When he first met Skylar at the restaurant for their confrontation my initial thought was “damn, Hank’s a supergenius.” He immediately embraced Skylar. He made himself the safe place and provided her an outlet to escape her monster of a husband. But he lost it and went nine kinds of Ahab and she didn’t bite. Not yet. And his confession to Marie was something I shamefully admit that I had not considered: When Hank brings Walter in, he ends his own career. It’s over. “Ten seconds after I tell them, I’m a civilian.” The shame of admitting he’s been blind to the man they’ve been chasing for over a year is equal only to the fervor with which he wants to catch him. If Hank is the one to hand in Heisenberg at least he can turn in his badge with a feeling of closure, maybe even accomplishment. But he is missing that one little piece that brings it all together.

Until he returns to work to find a silent Jesse Pinkman in holding, brought in for questioning after he was peppering Albuquerque with millions in cash.

And the seven day wait begins anew.

TL;DR – This show is a really good treatment for Narcolepsy.

Han and Chewie pursued by Boba Fett! Luke and Wedge get willingly captured by a Star Destroyer?! Leia finds a derelict with a stranger aboard. Things get dicey for our heroes in this week’s Star Wars comic! (more…)

These weekly observations will not be spoiler free.

The top half of season five opened on a haggard Walter on his 52nd birthday, alone save for his arms dealer (who I sometimes like to pretend is a Supernatural crossover – to make ends meet Bobby Singer sells guns to meth lords, but that’s neither here nor there). It was a heavy suggestion that Walt was on the lam, and by the wrap of the first eight episodes it was a pretty solid assumption. The how and who of Heisenberg’s defeat were left for the bottom half.

“Blood Money” opened with the same haggard Walt in his clunker, returning to his family home. It’s now roped off and in ruin, the emptied pool is a secret skate park, and the word “Heisenberg” is spray painted in the family living room. Walter returns to recover his ricin cigarette. A question or two answered – yes, the empire has fallen, but more than a few are now raised. We then return to right where we were left hanging almost an entire year ago – with Hank on the crapper. He’s discovered Gale’s love letter to “W.W.” and soon gathers all the old info to compile a pretty solid case. Meanwhile, poor Jesse is so steeped in anguish that he can’t even participate in the brilliant discussion between Badger and Piano Pete (yeah, I know, but he’s Piano Pete for me now) regarding a pie eating contest on the Starship Enterprise.

Yes. I say poor Jesse. Jesse’s takeover as the moral compass of this show was swift and severe. The burden of his morals are now cracking the exterior and I do not see a return to normalcy – even as he defines it – for Jesse Pinkman. He is now being foiled at every right (correct) turn he takes to alleviate his conscious by Walter and it is breaking him.

I want more than anything for Jesse to have a happy ending. The running interwebber joke is that Heisenberg gets busted but Jesse goes on to teach high school chemistry and they all, minus Walter, live happily ever after. But a redemption for Jesse would equal a reprieve for Walt, and he doesn’t deserve it. I don’t think the writers will give it to him because this is not a tale that teaches a lesson via happy endings.

The episode ended in a standoff between Hank and Walter that had me wide-eyed and gape jawed. Walter remained in character at the start, but his true self – he is Heisenberg now – showed teeth at the end, and Hank is getting a reach on exactly what kind of monster he is dealing with.

There is no longer a question of Walter’s phoenix moment. It’s simply not going to happen. All that’s left to tell is who will fall, who will walk away, and which bullet is the one that finally shoots Heisenberg out of the game. I have every faith that this creative team will make it hurt for the next seven episodes, and even though we know the theme of the story we’re about to finish we don’t know how it will hit.

I have a theory. It’s an odd ball of a thought, and I was poo-pooed on reddit, but I’m still putting it here for posterity’s sake. If I’m wrong I’m wrong, but if I’m right I get to scream “I KNEW IT!!!!” and I never get to do that. Once upon a flash back, Gus Fring and his former partner visited Don Eladio in Mexico. Gus’s partner didn’t survive the meeting, and the Don told Gus that the only reason he wasn’t full of bullets was because “I know who you are, but this isn’t Chile.” The implication is that Gus is a pretty big deal, and his person and business undertakings are protected by folks that even the Don of a Mexican cartel will not cross.

But Walter did. Walter, with no criminal knowledge beyond his own city limits, killed a major international player. And nothing on this show happens without reason. Remember when Ted tripped on the rug? I refuse to believe that this was throwaway dialogue, and instead choose to believe that maybe Hank isn’t the only one gunning for Heisenberg.

Tune in next week folks, you can witness the steady decline in my levity as we watch the final descent.

DC’s Vertigo imprint has always provided something different and interesting in comics. Lately, books like American Vampire, The Unwritten, and The Wake have been some of the best coming out from any publisher, large or small, so it’s always worth it to give a new Vertigo book a chance. They’ve given us things like Sandman and Fables, and now they’ve given us Jeff Lemire’s Trillium.

After one issue, it’s hard to categorize Trillium. Is it a time travel piece? A post-apocalyptic pandemic story? A 1920s archeological adventure? I’m not quite sure. It has pieces of all of these elements, but it hasn’t committed to one yet. There are two major story dilemmas and since the book is split the way it is, I’m not sure which direction it’s going to head. And because of how brilliantly unorthodox the structure is, it could continue on in both directions, running parallel the entire time.

The only thing I can be sure of at this point is that Trillium is great science fiction in comic book form. It’s unique in its storytelling, dense and well-rendered. Lemire uses the physical space of a comic-book in a way that reminds of Alan Moore’s mastery of the craft during his days of Swamp Thing, literally turning you upside down through your window into this fascinating world. Kudos to Lemire for actually taking the time to design the experience of the book, not just drawing and writing. This is a work of artistic craftsmanship that you just don’t see in comics anymore.

The colors are subdued, almost reminiscent of Lynn Varley’s best work in Ronin, but warmer. The story leaves me asking all of the best questions from classic, but new, science fiction moral dilemmas.

The two point of view characters are at once interesting even though we know barely anything about them whatsoever. But there are so many asked but unanswered questions, I am dying to get my hands on the second issue already. My advice is to race out and pick up issue #1 immediately and have this title added to your pull list immediately.

Jeff Lemire and team should be very proud of this book and I can’t wait to see where it takes me next.

And that’s the best thing you can ask of a Vertigo book.

Last week, Google announced their new Nexus 7 tablet, and while this is an awesome piece of hardware and an excellent tablet, it was pretty much expected. What was a surprise to everyone, however, was the launch of a new piece of networking hardware called Chromecast, and the moment it was released, the tech world blew up. Billed as Google’s ‘Apple TV’ killer, the Chromecast manages to accomplish almost everything Apple’s device can do, but with a much smaller price tag and the promise of being able to do even more. Stores immediately sold out (and will be for awhile), but if you’re not patient, you can still get one, just be prepared to shell out over $50 on eBay or Amazon.

More important than the hype is the answer to the question, “Is this worth getting?”, and the answer is a resounding yes! After only playing with it for a weekend, I continue to be amazed by what Chromecast can do and what it will be able to accomplish in the future.

Chromecast welcome screen

First off, this thing is damn simple to set up and start using. Simply plug it into an HDMI port on your TV, attach the USB power cable to a port on the TV or included AC adapter, and launch Chrome on your laptop to go to the activation site. Once there, you’ll enter a code that will link the device to your Google account, input your Wi-Fi password, download an app, and you’re done. You can immediately start streaming or mirroring cat videos from your Android or iOS phone/tablet or your computer to your TV. It’s absolutely remarkable how clean and simple setup is.

What we’ll be doing 90% of our time online

Currently, the only apps that are fully supported by Chromecast are YouTube, Google Play and Netflix, and considering that those are available on nearly every game system, Roku box and smart TV out there, people may be wondering what all the fuss is about. And they’d be right if it wasn’t for the fact that there are a ton more apps coming for it (Pandora should be out any day, and Hulu and HBOGo are in the works), and that it will also stream whatever content you have playing in a Chrome window. So until the aforementioned apps launch, you can open up HBOGo, Hulu, or drag and drop a video into Chrome, and it shows up on your TV just how it is on your laptop. Granted, the video quality isn’t quite as smooth as in the apps (Chromecast connects to the internet for video content from supported apps instead of streaming directly from your laptop when mirroring Chrome), but it’s still surprising how well a $35 device accomplishes what costs $100 or more with other technologies. Another cool feature is that you can open a new tab in Chrome and browse other web sites or even watch other videos without interrupting what’s being sent to your TV.

I run iOS on most of my stuff at home, and since the Chromecast app is unavailable, I was unable to test mirroring Chrome to the TV with either my iPhone or iPad, but Netflix and YouTube worked perfectly. I obviously couldn’t try out Google Play, but my friends who have Android devices say it works perfectly.

Be prepared for some lag when streaming directly from Chrome

So my verdict? This thing is amazing, and I can’t believe what it can do! The fact that Google was able to release something that allows inter-device connectivity at a price the masses can afford is simply astounding. Granted, without more apps it does still have limited use, but it is more than worth the small investment needed to jump in, so if you ever happen to be lucky enough to see one on store shelves, don’t be afraid to grab and purchase it!

Oh, and as to the ‘life, the universe, and everything’ blurb. As we all (hopefully) know, Google is keen on inside jokes and easter eggs, and there are two really good ones bundled in with the Chromecast. The first is that the model number of the device itself is H2G2-42, a reference to Douglass Adams’ classic Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Also, the model number of the AC adapter is MST3K-US, a nod to Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Kick ass geek references bundled with awesome technology? You know you need this thing!

Thanks to IGN for pointing out the easter eggs!

I’ve long been a fan of the Warhammer 40k universe, and the Space Hulk games in particular. I absolutely adore the old PC version of the game and it gave me nightmares (in all the best ways.) For those who don’t know, Space Hulk is very much like the best parts of James Cameron’s Aliens. You command a squad of Space Marines, lurking through dark hallways in spacecraft across the galaxy, trying to kill Genestealers and Tyrannid.

When I first saw that there was a card game based on that concept, I was skeptical. I found it in my search to find something that resembled the Space Hulk video game in board game fashion. Since I’m not usually one for card games, I assumed this might not be the best use of my money, but since the price point for Death Angel was so low, I figured, “What the hell?”

I’m incredibly glad I dropped the money on the game, though it took me some time to get there.

The game isn’t like a traditional card game, the cards are really the pieces set up like a board. You move from location to location, clearing dark corners and corridors of genestealers. The game is co-op and you, along with your Space Marine brethren have to work on a combined strategy that will keep you alive and allow you to eventually win the day. This isn’t an easy game in the sense that you’ll win every time. No. You’ll die. A lot. Your marines can start dropping like flies with some bad card pulls, and it creates a tension that’s hard to describe.

It takes a couple of times playing the game to really get the mechanics smoothly in the minds of all the players so you have a competitive, strategic game, but once you’ve hit that stride, there’s not stopping you. The game is easy enough, after that initial learning period, that I can play it with ease with my friends and peers, and my 11 year old son can play with us with no trouble at all and it doesn’t feel like we have to play down to him.

There are a variety of card decks that fill different functions (Marines, bad guys, events, locations, etc.) and they’re laid out in a formation that simulates the combat of being in a corridor fighting these things off. It gets incredibly intense, especially the further into the game you get. More and more genestealers swarm you and living seems like a daunting process. Each different duo of Space Marines have their own special abilities that you have to manipulate to the maximum in order to survive long enough to win the game.

I’d played this game a bit, liked it, and put it on my shelf for a while. Then, a few weeks ago, I pulled it back down and played with some friends. And it infected my brain a little bit. And then I played it some more with some other friends. And again. And again. And again. I played with just my son and I a few times, and with him and his friends. It’s infectious, truly, and that’s part of what makes it a great game.

It has almost limitless possibilities, so no game plays the same twice. It’s challenging, but not to the point of being disliked. It’s fun, even when you’re losing. And since you can play with any number of people, from solitaire missions to six people, it makes it perfect for any game party situation.

On some level, I’d prefer to have a board and actual Space Marine and genestealer figures and map out strategy on a map like Fantasy Flight Games like Descent, but I understand that might be cost prohibitive. You can find this game for less than $20. Adding in all the figures you’d need would put it well over two or three (maybe four?) times that. With the cards, you’re able to set up and play faster and at a lower price point.

Do I hope they expand this into a more complete board game? Yes.

Am I happy with what they’ve given me? Absolutely. The art on the cards is gorgeous. The cards themselves are of a very high quality. The game play and mechanics are top notch, and I’d expect nothing less of the Fantasy Flight crew.

In fact, since becoming invigorated on this game, I’ve bought every expansion and found them ALL worth the money.

Bottom line: if you’re a fan of Warhammer 40k and well-put together cooperative games, they don’t get much easier or fun than this. Yes, you’ll die a lot, but that’s part of the fun. I’m giving this a high recommendation and I’m dying to see what else FFG has done with the Warhammer license.

You can snag it from Amazon for less than $20.

And if you’re up for a game, you know how to get a hold of me.

UPDATE: I’m aware of the board game. I’ve looked for it in plenty of places. It’s out of print and preposterously expensive. I’d love to see this in miniatures format like Descent, like I said.