I can honestly say I’ve only seen Bambi once.  It was years ago when Disney released it, or re-released it on VHS, so you can imagine my memory of the film is somewhat fuzzy.  I’m not sure why I never watched it more, other than it’s a rather sad film, and it doesn’t have a princess in it.  (Sorry, I like the princess movies).  I always had a fondness for Thumper, though, and I found the tune “Little April Shower” very catchy.

I didn’t really know what to expect from Bambi II Special Edition.  At first, I thought this would be a sequel and follow the adventures of an older Bambi, but rather like Beauty and the Beast Enchanted Christmas, this film takes place in the middle of the original.

The movie begins immediately after that Really Sad Moment in the original film, and Bambi’s father, the Great Prince of the Forest, explains that things are very different now.  The Prince tries to find a doe to look after the young fawn, but he eventually realizes that he must take responsibility for his son.  The regal Prince (voiced superbly by Patrick Stewart) tries to teach Bambi to look after the other deer and find food.

Bambi tries hard to please his father, but he’s young and wants to play with his friends, and he has trouble navigating some of the rockier terrain in the forest.  His father’s patience is tested time and again, but a relationship slowly develops between them as the ice of winter melts and the flowers of spring begin to bloom.

The animation in this film is beautiful.  Much better quality than I ever would have expected from a direct-to-video release.  Let me say it again:  the animation in this film is beautiful.  I know that Walt Disney had the animators study live animals during the production of the original Bambi, and this new film maintains that same level of quality.  Though perhaps not so true to life, the animals’ eyes are huge and expressive, providing emotion without dialogue, and though the story is simple and straightforward, I was still drawn in and entertained.

Unfortunately, the music isn’t very memorable, but it’s subtle and neither adds nor takes anything away from the film.  Overall, I think it’s a sweet film that will mostly appeal to young children and fans of the original Bambi who want to see more of Thumper, Flower, and Faline.  I also think fans of animated movies in general will appreciate its artistic quality.

Bonus features include a deleted song entitled “Sing the Day,” interactive learning games, a tutorial on how to draw Thumper, a featurette about the history behind Bambi II, and pop-up text that reveals fun facts about the movie.

I recommend watching it at least once.

The description of “Silver Tongues” did not at all do it justice. I went into this film with a bit of a chip on my shoulder, and I assure you, that this movie is worth every minute of viewing pleasure. Simon Arthur makes you hate the main characters so thoroughly throughout the entire movie, and then flips you to guilt when you feel for them.

Spoiler ALERT! if you don’t want the plot line ruined you may wanna just skip the next section.

“Silver Tongues” is a very dialogue driven movie, and very rarely has an opportunity to use imagery to develop the story. The few times it does are breath taking. During one of the first scenes a newly married man walks down a hotel hallway towards a room containing his very upset wife. The tension you feel as he slowly drags down the hallway translated so very literally for me. Maybe it’s because i’ve been in trouble with my wife before, or maybe it’s because the shots were so well placed. (The second is the real reason, don’t tell my wife I made the first joke.)

At one point in the film you find yourself thinking that the sadistic bastard played by Lee Tergeson is finally getting his when a cop uses his same techniques to discover that he has murdered his “wife” played by Enid Graham, the web twists you in so tightly only to discover that the fake murder was an elaborate plot conceived by the couple to shock and baffle the officer.

The sheer sadistic nature of the two in the film is enough to make your stomach churn. The key moment that shows that Lee Tergeson is truly a bad man with a sense of humor is depicted during a visit to an old folks home. Lee secretly takes a puzzle piece from an old woman who is slaving away on her project. Only a true bastard would rob a woman of her puzzle completion, and enjoy it.

Spoiler over:

The webs woven in this intricate film can only be thought up by someone with either a knack for sadistic ideas or a young man with brilliant ideas. After meeting with Mr. Arthur to discuss his film, I tend to believe its the latter portion. If you are near any film festival that has this movie playing, don’t think, don’t wonder, simply cancel whatever thing you have going on, and make sure you are there. If you have a chance to purchase it on DVD simply hand over the money. This artistic ride is worth every minute of your time, and every dollar you may spend.

In case you missed it here is the trailer one more time.:

Our lovable GONK is back with another Star Wars comics review, this time Star Wars: Jedi – The Dark Side #4

Qui-Gon Jinn and his padawan Xanatos butt heads as an insurrection on Telos IV escalates in Star Wars: Jedi – The Dark Side #4. As the Jedi close in on who is behind the attacks on Xanatos’ home planet, their opponents try to stay ahead of them, setting up for full war. Qui-Gon continues his undercover role and gets the bulk of the action in this issue, while his apprentice deals with his anger – first at returning home and facing his father, Lord Crion, then at the death of newly-discovered sister.

Previously, Qui-Gon returned from arranging a meeting with Telosian arms dealers to find that Crion was under attack by insurgents. In the fight, Xanatos’ sister, Nason was killed, and a shadowy figure escaped – but was recognized by Qui-Gon as Dairoki, a former Jedi student. After the battle, Jedi Master Tahl, gets a new assignment, leaving Qui-Gon in charge of the Telos investigation and of the other padawan on the team, the masterless Orykan. The Telosians present a lightsaber as evidence of involvement in the ambush by the Antarian Rangers, allies of the Jedi, and accuse the Jedi of witholding information on the case. Changed after the death of his sister, Xanatos quits the investigation to focus on protecting his father.

Qui-Gon’s back-alley meeting with Welleques, the arms smuggler, turns violent, but before the Jedi Master can question the criminal about how the Antarian Rangers or a former Jedi link to the insurgency, a sniper’s shot silences the gunrunner. Back at the governor’s palace, while Xanatos sleeps at his guard post, Dairoki sneaks in and argues with Lord Crion over their bungled plan to secretly manipulate the insurgents and implicate the Antarian Rangers. Enraged that his daughter was a casualty of their plans and fearing that Dairoki’s identity was discovered the Jedi, Crion sends the scarred agent offworld.

The next day, the Telosian chief of staff publicly accuses the Antarian Rangers and the neighboring world of Toprawa for conspiring against them, and tries to appeal to the insurgents to stop and unite as Telosians against this foreign threat. Qui-Gon confronts Xanatos about passing information from the investigation onto his father. Angry, Xanatos storms off and moves to the palace, and tries to convince Orykan to protect Qui-Gon in order to prove herself. That evening, Crion, with his son at his side, announces a full military strike to crush the insurgency, committing Telos to civil war.

This issue was heavy on dialogue as the story has the Jedi assembling a few more pieces of the puzzle, and showing the true plot behind the string of attacks – all orchestrated so that Crion can crack down militarily on his world, and blame his neighbors (and possibly eventually go to war with them). Sounds like a scheme worthy of a Sith Lord (Palpatine with Dooku and the Clone Wars, Vader with Starkiller and the founding of the Rebellion) – though, considering the personal loss to Crion and Dairoki, perhaps such scheming of helping rebellions against oneself is best left to the unattached Sith.

It is interesting to see Qui-Gon Jinn, the patient master in touch with the Force in The Phantom Menace, act a little less polished here and more angry (perhaps channeling a bit more of the Liam Neeson character from Taken). With Tahl’s departure, Qui-Gon’s moral sounding board is gone, as Xanatos acts on his own, and sides against his master, and Orykan really doesn’t do anything. Actually, Xanatos doesn’t really do anything either in this issue, except scowl, and cry a little. Qui-Gon gets the only real action in this comic, with several pages of him fighting Welleques’ gang of hoodlums. Not sure why he needs to rip off his Mission Impossible-style mask every time he gets into combat other than to show the audience that he’s Qui-Gon in battle.

I think that this issue, as a setup for the final act of The Dark Side, was just ok – suffers a little from “middle issue syndrome” reeling from the tragedy of Nason’s death at the end of the previous issue and ramping up for all-out war in the next issue. There was a lot of explanation but I think the pacing wasn’t quite right – perhaps too much time spent on Tahl’s departure at the beginning, and perhaps more could have been done with the argument between Qui-Gon and Xanatos near the end. Mahmud Asrar’s art captures a good deal of texture well, with some nicely shadowed panels in places. The hideous Dairoki looks ghoulish at times, and the Ithorian chief of staff comes out well. Asrar does have a good style in capturing faces. On the whole, while I’m enjoying this story, it just doesn’t feel all that original – we’ve already seen the angry teenaged Jedi who couldn’t save his family member, and the plotting leader working both sides to create a war to help him tighten his grip. Part of the plotline was set by the framework from the Jedi Apprentice series (which might have been more original back in 1999), so Scott Allie might be a little constrained. Still, having Qui-Gon Jinn back in action as detective, mentor, and ass-kicker is fun stuff.

It’s been a long, great summer for superhero movies and Jeff and Jimmy have been hard at work watching and reviewing them.

We thought it would be great to round up all their reviews from over the summer as we kick off a new season of the show here on Big Shiny Robot!

First, let’s start with the first big superhero movie of the summer: Thor:

Then we have Green Lantern:

Does Transformers 3 count?

Then Cowboys and Aliens:

And finally we have Captain America: The First Avenger:

What did you guys think of the summer?

On my blog a couple of months ago I wrote about why I was more excited for Fright Night than any other film this summer. After having seen it – I am not at all disappointed. It looked to be a fun late summer popcorn flick – and that is exactly what it is. It looked to be a smart and fun remake of an 80’s classic – and that too is exactly what it is. If you have seen the original there is no great twist. No “I thought it should have ended THIS way” corrective story telling on part of the director. It is just a remake. But what you would hope MORE remakes would be. Entertaining, smart, fun, funny, well done, with great casting, and a story that is perched perfectly between staying close to what made the original great but not too close as to be boring or nonsensical.

[ Spoilers from here on out]

In the original 1985 classic Charlie Brewster is a late night tv watching horror movie buff and hormones raging teenager. In a Rear Window like twist he spies on his new neighbor and becomes convinced that the man’s odd behavior can mean nothing less than that he is a vampire. The struggle for that Charlie is to convince his friend, his girl friend, and a late night TV movie show host that he isn’t nuts, his life is in peril, and he needs all their help to kill the vampire before it kills him.

The new Fright Night had obvious challenges to overcome in modernizing if it were to stay anywhere near close to the original story. But they succeeded seemlessly. They break the basic formula down further from “Rear Window with a Vampire” to “Your neighbor is a murderous vampire – and once he knows you know, he will kill you; react”. So the new Charlie Brewster is popular and clueless of his neighbors actions. His ( now ex) friend “Evil” Ed (who in the previous movie was side kick and victim) is now the one that suspects Jerry the neighbor to really be a creature of the night. This is a very smart twist if you ask me. I was wondering how they would get around the obvious parallel to “Rear Window” and more importantly to “Disturbia” – a rear Window remake and film that is a bit more well known by the teen demographic. Who are the prime targets studios putting films like this out hope to draw in most. By Ed being the one who sees and connects the dots it’s a smart lil’ side step around that. Other changes make great sense in modern context. In the original Charlie’s Mom is a specter in his life – the token 1980’s absentee kind of parent that was common in film and the real world at the time. But in today’s world of helicopter mom’s Charlie’s Mom is now the very present, aware, (sometimes a bit too) honest modern Mom that has a relationship with her son. Peter Vincent – who in the previous film was a washed up horror film actor and later late night TV host is now an eccentric and less than affable Las Vegas stage magician and occult expert.

They create a very simple reasoning to explain why you even NEED the character of Vincent at all in the age of Google in that Charlie is follows Ed’s tracks – and that leads to Vincent. It is a very simple plot device to keep the character (which the average film buff will most likely sneer at). But it is thankful – because a large amount of the laughs later in the film come from David Tenants take on the character. I love Dr. Who – and David Tenant is certainly a favorite. Watching him as Vincent was a tremendous treat as he has not done many movies in his post Dr. Who career opting for theater work instead. (Note: With the majority of friends of mine that have also been excited for this film – it is because of Tenant as they are Dr. Who fans too). Colin Farrell as the vampire neighbor Jerry Dandrige is a wonderful pitch perfect mix of skanky douche bag and creepy intimidating. Less Über hottie and more Über creeper. A lot of skoffing I have heard from guys (other then the general apprehension about remakes) had to do with the casting of Farrell as Jerry. Given the popularity of Twilight, True Blood, and Vampire Diaries I think the cynisims is warrented. It could easily be mistaken as yet another token sexy vampire on the big screen. But to quote Evil Ed “he isn’t romantically misunderstood. he’s the shark from jaws.”. So if you were holding back on seeing Fright Night because of cultural fatigue for the vampire trends of late I would say think again. Fright Night brings vampires back over the line from lover to monster.

I could all to easily see this getting a sequel. It will depend on how big the box office on it is. But if you are looking for a bit of summer movie/ popcorn film fun – I highly recommend it.

Everyday Sunshine is an emotional introspective into a group of talented musicians who never quite hit it. From a musicians standpoint they had success in almost every facet of the industry, they toured Europe, Japan, the United States, and influenced artists in every genre. The only thing they never quite had was the financial success. This documentary features interviews from musicians I’ve followed and idolized while growing up, hell I idolize most of them today.

The creative and exciting look into the early world of punk rock that Fishbone helped build is something that a lot of the general public wouldn’t have an opportunity to experience. I find it rare that a film pushes me to run out and make changes, but watching “Everyday Sunshine” brought back the same feelings I had the first time I heard punk rock. The music was raw, guttural, fast, poignant, and Fishbone… was everything else. After finishing the film I found myself feeling guilty for not knowing their music, and also seeking out their albums to add to my collection.

I really wish I had a longwinded statement to fill pages to talk about how much I enjoyed this movie, but I simply don’t. It was a phenomenally made documentary that turned me on to a band that helped feed a movement that I was a part of throughout my teenage years. The characters are real human beings that are easy to understand and care for. They simply love music, love to share it with others, and don’t ever want to give up their dream.

We’ll be posting an interview with the directors later today, and the film will be playing at the SLC Film Festival Saturday August 19th at 930 pm at the Tower Theater, and again on Sunday August 20, at midnight at Brewviews Cinema Pub.

GO SEE IT!

Earlier in the week Dark Horse announced that Hellboy would shed the mortal coil in the latest / last issue of this recent story arch – “The Fury”. This newest 3 issue run takes events that began 3 years ago in Hellboy: Darkness Calls and brings the story for the universe to a head with the death of the title character in the issue on stands August 10th (last Wednesday). Details on what’s next have been cagey but there are hints that while Hellboy is dead – he isn’t gone. Why would Dark Horse release a massive spoiler like that? Well it may have to do with the manner of the death. It is pretty common in comics to assume that people will inherently come back. It would not be a stretch to think that without the warning of “Yes, he’s dead, really truly dead” people might have reread the final pages a couple of times wondering if what they thought just happened really did.

Personally – I really enjoyed it. I thought it appropriate not only for HB as a character but for the whole universe. Yes – he dies. It has been a bit established that if eaten by a large enough monster he WILL just fight his way OUT of it (so you know it isn’t that). But I can’t imagine him going any other way than how he did. I further loved the stress on the idea through out the the story that the end is never JUST an end – but a beginning as well. So while there is no firm word on what is coming next – you have to wonder what does the afterlife hold for Big Red?

The Fury for all its sense of finality that fans may have some consternation towards does not disappoint. It’s epic, sweeping, and grand. It is pitch perfect Hellboy. I can’t say enough for Duncan Fregedo and his work penciling and to Dave Stewart constantly amazing coloring. The two of them capture and create the lush dark spirit that make the Hellboy books such a pleasure to read. One thing I have always loved in these comics is just the quality and beauty of the work. Having Mike Mignola himself on board writing this story also ads to the sense of this as something concrete and final. Mike made him – and Mike has killed him, and there is no arguing that.

While Hellboy is one of my favorite characters of all time and the big red guy does occupy a special part of my nerdy lil heart – it is the WORLD that Mike Mignola has so artfully and epically crafted on his own and with his latter collaborators that I really love. To say that the world of Hellboy is outright my favorite in the entire comics industry would probably not be an understatement. After reading the Fury my initial thoughts were to reread every Hellboy trade I have (and to buy the ones I don’t)…and to maybe talk to my tattoo artist about finally getting that Hellboy inspired tattoo I’ve been thinking over the past couple of years….

You can find Hellboy: The Fury #3 at stores now, or online at darkhorse.com

Are you a child of the 80’s?  If so, then you will be thrilled to know that M.A.S.K., the Complete Original Series debuted on DVD this earlier week.  The boxed set contains 12 DVDs with 65 episodes and retrospective featurettes.

But the real question is . . . how well does the series—which originally aired in 1985—hold up?

As I’ve said before, M.A.S.K. has one of the best opening sequences I’ve ever seen.  As often as I’ve heard the song, I’ve yet to tire of it.  And, once you load the DVD and the title menus appear, you’re greeted by screens resembling a computer.   Choosing from the episodes listed sort of evokes the feeling of choosing the M.A.S.K. agents “best suited for this mission.”

While the nostalgia factor is certainly there, after watching several episodes a few things may get tiresome very quickly. For example, I really cannot stand Dusty Hayes’ country boy accent.  Lines like “Well bust my britches!  They’re V.E.N.O.M. varmints!” make this very easy to understand.  Also, Bruce Sato’s fortune cookie wisdom seems a bit stereotyped and out of place.

The episodes follow a pretty simple formula:  evil V.E.N.O.M. agents seek some object to use for, you guessed it, evil, and the good M.A.S.K. guys try to stop them.  Led by multimillionaire Matt Trakker, the best agents are chosen by the super computer and summoned by handy wristwatches that blink when there is work to do.  Whether they’re bathing a dog or putting a pizza in the oven, they immediately stop what they’re doing and dash to headquarters (often to the dismay of customers, bosses, taxi drivers, etc.)

Oh, and as they’re seated around the massive table in the secret lair, some really cool masks come down from the ceiling.

Scott Trakker, Matt’s disobedient son, always manages to sneak out and join the missions.  He and his trusty sidekick (a nervous robot named T-bob), and the pair provides much of the comic relief in each episode.  They also manage to help the M.A.S.K. agents as often as hindering them.

The music accompanying each episode is all 80’s, with a very electronic sound that reminded me a bit of my soundtrack to The Neverending Story.  And, interestingly enough, each episode still contains the little clips that appeared before and after each commercial break with one of the characters saying “M.A.S.K. will be right back!”  There’s also a segment at the end of each episode that serves as a PSA and reminds us to buckle our seat belts or look both ways before crossing the street.

Each episode is chock full of non-stop action, with the first episode involving a Jeep diving off a cliff into a river.  Every kind of vehicle imaginable appears, from trucks to motorcycles to boats to jets, and the powers of the M.A.S.K. helmets contribute to some complex fight sequences.  No wonder this show grabbed my imagination as a kid.  (And yes, I still have my Manta vehicle with Vanessa Warfield figure).

The voice acting is a bit cringe-worthy, but overall I say M.A.S.K. is worth a visit to the past.  The opening sequence—with that catchy song—more than makes up for any deficiencies in the show.  I’m looking forward to watching the rest of the series, though it is certainly a different experience viewing it as an adult.

The boxed set can be purchased here at Amazon or wherever DVDs are sold.

I would like to introduce you to a new robot that I think you’ll enjoy here.  He’ll be going by GONK (but you might know him as Jawa James from Club Jade).  He’s going to be helping with the Star Wars comics coverage.

Today, he’s brought us reviews of the Star Wars comics from this week.  Invasion: Revelations #2 and The Old Republic: Lost Suns #3.  As an editors note, I’m excited to hear what he has to saw about Invasion, because I found the first issue bored me to tears.

Without further ado:  GONK:

Review – Star Wars: Invasion – Revelations #2

The members of the Galfridian family continue to have things go from bad to worse as their stories continue during the Yuuzhan Vong onslaught in second issue of Star Wars:Invasion – Revelations. With a story arc like “Revelations”, one can’t help but wonder what will be revealed throughout the tale, and this issue brings the queen’s secret out intothe open, and reveals something about Kaye as well.

Finn, now working with the partially-deranged Jedi Dray, went to stop an assassination attempt on Chief of State Fey’lya, but was caught by a Vong masquerading as the Imperial ambassador. Imprisoned on Coruscant as a potential assassin, Finn gets rescuedby Dray and Finn’s droid, Prowl, newly upgraded, as the Vong spy reports back toTsalock that Finn is a Jedi that can detect them. But this issue is really more about Ninaand Kaye: after learning that the bulk of Artorian refugees have been sent to the Imperial world of Shramar, the queen convinces the local Imperials to not fire on her captured Vong ship, and forces them into letting her land to allow a visit between the Artorians aboard the refugee vessel and those on the planet. Kaye and Arbeloa rescue a refugee girl shot by stormtroopers for attempting to reach the ship. Recovering, the Artorian reveals that the Imperials on Shramar have violently put the refugees into forced labor.

Incensed, Nina calls a meeting with Commander Devry, who reluctantly allows the queen to come for a state dinner. Kaye tries to accompany her stepmother but is denied entry at the palace gate. When Devry refuses to allow the Artorian slaves to leave with Nina’s ship, the queen reveals her Vong face and assaults the dinner party. Devry calls on Tsavong Lah for help against this Vong in human guise, but is killed by the queen, justas her daughter Kaye enters the room, having defeated the troopers outside with her bare hands.

The New Jedi Order era, with the Vong invasion, is a darker and more violent time, and the artwork and story match this well. Colin Wilson’s art focuses more on darker lines and shading, and the ugly imperfections in faces. Tension fills many of the scenes asthe Galfridrians continue their fight to survive. Kaye’s fight with the stormtroopers is probably one of the more grisly scenes depicted in a Star Wars comic in recent memory. But I think my favorite shot is a full page scene of stormtroopers looking up as the captured Vong slave ship Heart of Artorias lands in the background. Couple that with the next scene of Kaye and the giant Arbeloa staring out across a sea of Imperial weaponry trained at them and Tom Taylor’s lines for Kaye: “Yep… I’m feeling the love, too.”

In this Revelations arc, all sides are learning things about each other – the Vong learn that the Galfridians are out there causing unique problems for them, and for their Imperial allies, Kaye learns that her stepmom is one of the invaders she’s been fighting again,and Kaye learns something about herself. Maybe she’ll share that with Nina… maybenot. And Dray wouldn’t mind removing Fey’lya as the head of the New Republic, after the Vong are stopped. Overall, I was very pleased with this issue – the Nina and Kaye storyline slowly ramps up the tension as they deal with their increasingly hostile ‘allies’and explodes into action as they switch over to aggressive negotiations in the end.

Star Wars – The Old Republic – The Lost Suns (part 3 of 5)

The middle part of a story arc in comics usually serves as the build-up to the story’s climax, and part 3 of The Old Republic –The Lost Suns lives up to its role in building upthe suspense. Issues 1 and 2 introduced the characters and threw them at their mission,and in this act, our protagonists learn what they are facing – and that there’s no backingout now: they’re on a collision course with the Sith Empire.

When we last saw Theron Shan, Republic intelligence agent and son of Jedi Grand Master Satele Shan, he had just found his old mentor, the Jedi Master Ngani Zho, on aminor world in the Sith Empire. Escaping with the help of Shan’s prisoner, the criminal Teff’ith, they’ve set off to Vesla, a former Republic world now run by Darth Mekhis. Unfortunately, Zho can’t remember what is going on at Vesla, and so their first stop is Port Nowhere, a criminal haven.

Aboard the orbiting hive of sketchiness, Zho and Teff’ith acquire clearance to enter Imperial space from the black market while Shan hacks and fights his way into gettingsome navigational data to Vesla. The trio sets up a spy telescope on a craggy planetoid and learns what Darth Mekhis has done to the system. As they try to slip out with thedata, they get discovered by an Imperial dreadnought. Meanwhile, Shan just doesn’t get along well with his two partners – he has issues with the Jedi, since though trained as ayoungling, he’s blind to the Force, and the Twi’lek slaver Teff’ith still isn’t too happy about being captured and brought along on this trip, especially since her new friend, old Zho isn’t passing all of his sanity checks.

While earlier arcs of The Old Republic mostly serve as back story to the game, setting up where the game’s storyline will begin, The Lost Suns is an adventure in that galaxy, with the Republic sending a spy mission across enemy lines. With the characters and their relationships introduced in the first issues, this issue mostly drives the plot forward and throws them into harm’s way. The action is pretty light in this part of the story – Theron Shan demonstrates his unarmed combat skills in Port Nowhere, and the gang slices and dices some ambushing predators while camping out on the summit of their chilly planetoid. It’s more about creating tension as our heroes (and the audience) learn what the stakes are, and get caught making their exit.

Sadly, while Theron realizes the dangers represented by what he has discovered, I wasn’t fully convinced off the terror represented by the Sith Empire’s work on Vesla. Is it the destructive by-product of the project or the sheer scope of what they are doing? It is definitely bad news for the Republic, but Shan’s aim in walking

This week True Blood got good and I’m super excited about it!I left this week’s episode saying “Holy cliffhanger Batman!”. Let’s take a shortened look at what happened!

**SPOILERS AHEAD**

Katerina goes to Marnie’s holding cell to witness Sheriff Patino making a snack out of Marnie. Marnie (possessed by Antonia) makes Sheriff Patino compel Katerina. She calls security down to the cell, then Antonia makes Sheriff Patino kill her for betraying them, and then he goes looking for Bill. There is no mistaking who the lady possessing Marine is, because she says “I am Antonia Gavilán” approximately 36 times this episode.

Pam shows up at Merlotte’s, and she’s pissed. She begins to beat the crap out of Tara’s girlfriend, then works on choking out Tara while suddenly a group of people appear and begin filming Pam’s tirade. Pam realizes she can’t kill Tara in front of everyone, so she just issues a warning: Don’t ever feel like you’re safe, because the second you do, Pam will kill you. My favorite part about this scene is when one of the onlookers sees Pam’s face and says “Is she a zombie? Are there zombies now?”. I mean, c’mon, how far off would it be if there really was? Thanks for poking fun at yourself HBO, I appreciated it!

In Mexico, we figure out that *DUH* Lafayette is a medium. Tio Luca used Lafayette to talk to Jesus, and Lafayette has the magic. Of course Lafayette has the magic! Have you SEEN that fashion sense? That boy can pull off anything.

Debbie and Alcide are inducted into the Shreveport pack. After being welcomed, the werewolves all howl at the moon, and Alcide takes a spot to himself to contemplate Sookie’s well being, it being a full moon and all… Debbie (who is actually seemingly becoming a decent human being), tells Alcide that they can go look for here.

As Alcide and Debbie happen upon Miss Stackhouse, what a full moon it is! Eric and Sookie are still getting it on in the woods, and this triggers a tinge of jealousy in Alcide.

Sheriff Patino (still under Antonia’s influence), heads up to King Bill’s study explains that Antonia is back, and shoots Bill. When Bill doesn’t explode into a pile of goo, Sheriff Patino goes for the dagger. As Bill gains the upper hand and asks how it’s possible that Antonia is back, S.P. leans forward into the dagger and whispers “Resurrection”, then explodes into a gross pile of vampire goo. I never get sick of seeing that. It’s like a gross vampire pinata.

Tara and Naomi are in the car, and Naomi is trying to get Tara to go back to Naw Lins with her. Tara, being the fucktard she is, would rather stay in Bon Tomps, because she’s not safe anywhere, and at least she’d be saving Naomi by leaving her. Naomi states that she doesn’t like Tara Thornton. She wants Toni back. Join the club sister, nobody likes Tara Thornton. At least you get to be done with her, so count your blessings.

Jason is doing the most impressive push ups I’ve ever seen to try and get the sexy Jessica images out of his head when the doorbell rings, and it’s Hoyt! Hoyt is concerned with Jason, having been raped and all, and then Hoyt wants to tell Jason all of the relationship problems he’s having with Jess. Jason is a shitty listener. I don’t like that people are dumping all over Hoyt this season. It makes me sad for him.

Bill explains the whole Antonia “thing” to Jessica, and explains that the vampires have to bind themselves with silver when they take to ground, so that they won’t be able to go to the sun when Antonia casts the spell. Bill summons his sheriffs and tells them they must take the same precautions.

…Eric and Sookie are still banging, only in the house on a rug… When they’re finished with that, they have the “Would you still love me if I were the way I use to be” conversation. My teeth could rot because this scene is so sweet. *BARF*

YESSSS! Dr. Ludwig is back! She’s giving Pammy a body peel to try and help improve her appearance, although she is still rotting away from the inside. She explains to Pam that she has to have 6 shots a day for forever, if she wants to keep looking good. I’m happy that it seems like Pam will be back to her old self again soon 🙂

At the hospital Tommy is fine. That’s all you really need to know about this scene.

Bill gives Sookie a bag of silver chains to bind Eric when he goes to ground, that’s the jist of this scene…

Sad Tara is walking down the road when Antonia approaches her, and asks for her help with casting the curse on the vamps. She tells Tara to recruit for her, so they can get rid of this vampire problem once and for all. Antonia told Tara she was special, so obviously, Tara will do anything Antonia wants.

At Bill’s place the security team is sun-proofing the house and in the cellar, Bill and Jess are being bound by the silver chains. Jessica is screaming in pain, and Bill takes pity on her, and says that the chains that are on her will be enough, and not to put anymore on. This scene makes me super sad, because you truly believe she’s in pain, and Jess is still the innocent one on the show.

DOUBLE YES! Ginger is back, and sporting the most elegant “Hustler” tank top. She’s been given the task to give Pam her shots, and cover her in silver chain mail and tuck her in to her super adorable pink satin Barbie coffin. I missed ya Ginge!

At Sookie’s, she binds Eric, and all I can imagine is how bad it has to smell.

In Mexico, we learn more about Tio Luca, and nobody cares…

Sam calls Luna, and obviously she’s pissed. When the two of them meet up they figure out that Tommy is a skin walker (which tooootally sounds gross to me, like “skin flute” or something), and that he slept with Luna. Obviously, Sam’s pissed.

At Merlotte’s Tara is trying to recruit the other witches, and is telling them to bring a friend to the seance. If I were the friend being asked to commit vampire genocide through a spell, I’d have the person who asked me to help be committed.

Bill and Jess have a super sweet father-daughter chat about life and love, and it reaffirms that Jessica is still the most innocent character on this show. I love this moment between them. I especially love when Jess says that if they make it out of this alive, she’ll eat Marnie, starting with her face.

Eric is trying to convince Sook’s to take off the silver, and we have a flashback moment to the Fellowship of the Sun church when Eric offered himself up to save Godric and Sookie. More gross sweetness…

Andy shows up at Merlotte’s looking for Holly. He’s got a dozen Win-Dixie roses for her, and is in a suit (awwwwwwhhhh). He stammers though the first part of the date, then has a total meltdown because he’s got V withdrawals. He takes back the roses and leaves. I hope the two of them get a second chance, because they’re totally cute.

Lafayette is back from Mexico, and cooking up a storm, when he sees Baby Mikey’s French black lady spirit in the kitchen. Lafayette tries to shoo her out, not realizing it’s a spirit and not a person. Can’t wait to find out who this lady is. *sarcasm*

Debbie and Alcide are doing it, and Debbie is just not that into it. She suspects that Alcide has feelings for Sookie (duh), and he assures her that she doesn’t (liar).

At the witch emporium, Antonia explains who she is (again), and they begin their seance. This causes the wind to blow. A lot.

Sam confronts Tommy about Luna, and then attempts to kill Tommy with his own arm. Sam kicks Tommy out, and I can’t say that I blame him. However, I have a feeling this is not the last we’ll see of Tommy Mickens.

Jason shows up at Sookie’s just as the spell begins. The wind blows, and Sookie explains the curse and that Eric will never make it without her. This causes Jason to sprint over to Bills house to be with Jessica.

Pam is screaming to be let out of her Barbie casket, and good Ol’ Ginger hops on top of the coffin and rides it like a mechanical bull to keep Pam in.

The vampires are starting to go crazy and walk into the sun, while the witches continue to chant.

At Bill’s place, Jessica manages to free herself from the chains (because daddy Bill took pity on her), and she tries to escape. She convinces one of the security guards to try and help her, and when he gets too close, she knocks him out and takes his keys to get out of the cell.

Jason is on a full on sprint when he collides with one of the security agents. As this is happening, Jessica is coming ever closer to opening the front door. You hear a gunshot from outside, and you’re left wondering whether Jason shot the guard, or vice versa, just as Jessica opens the front door…

Holy crap. This was the first tome this season that my heart was actually beating out of my chest. The final moments of this episode with Jessica walking into the sun is some of the best True Blood I’ve ever seen. I sincerely hope they don’t kill off Jessica, because that would be the most devastating twist this show has ever thrown at us. Well done HBO, I can’t wait until next week.