With a young heir at stake, Agent Jahan Cross has to outsmart and outfight his opponents – but can he best Boba Fett? GONK reviews the conclusion of Agent of the Empire: Hard Targets, out this week. (more…)

Fugitives and the Je’daii clash in this week’s issue of Star Wars: Dawn of the Jedi. But will the dark side triumph because good is stupid? (more…)

When I picked up this book, I was hoping for a good source of general information source on the past and present of The Doctor. While there is certainly a past love for the character, the author clearly has an axe to grind.

The author so clearly has a chip on his shoulder about Matt Smith to the point of it being obnoxious. I really wanted to learn about Doctor Who, I’ve loved 9, 10, and 11, and I’m getting back into 4 and some of the others. Reading constantly how much the author is disgusted by Matt Smith doesn’t do me any good at all and makes me not want to read it. At all.

He assures us that neither bow ties nor fezzes are cool (something both subjective and untrue) and makes us feel like we’re idiots for enjoying Matt Smith.

Here’s a direct passage from the book:

Reclaiming the most grotesque personal flaws of the Sixth Doctor, while reiterating the visual missteps too (bow ties and fezzes are not cool, no matter how loudly he insists otherwise), the Eleventh Doctor dealt in riddles, not because they were necessary but because they sounded profound (or comical) the first time he used them.

As the Tenth Doctor, he coined the term “timey wimey” as a way out of having to explain a particular phenomenon to the slow-on-the-uptake Martha. As the Eleventh he adopted a virtual catchphrase, a way out of explaining anything to anyone, and while that might have been sufficient to satisfy the imbecilic curiosity of his then-current companions, the impossibly dull Amy and Rory, it also reduced his own believability, suggesting infallibilaty by redacting its actuality. Plus, didn’t comedian Russell Brand do the same thingy-wingy with his booky-wooky first?

Isn’t that so incredibly pedantic and insulting?

Here’s where I have a problem with this: This book isn’t billed as an editorial for the author. It’s billed as a FAQ. I wanted answers to my questions and to learn something, not be lectured about how stupid I am for liking one of the best Doctor’s we’ve ever had.

Did I learn some things? Sure. But really only when Mr. Thompson seemed to care about the character.

This book is billed as reference, but at times it reads more like a diatribe.

For my money, I’m waiting for Alan Kistler’s book instead. That guy knows Doctor Who and he’s a great writer.

If you insist on buying this book, you can get it on Amazon. I don’t recommend it, though. At all. Unless you like getting lectured. Or called an idiot.

Over the weekend, I had the honor of attending the season five theatrical finale event of The Clone Wars at Lucasfilm’s Presidio headquarters.

Save for a few thoughts at the end of this piece, I’ll have a much fuller report about the event itself here and on the Full of Sith Podcast.

We arrived in the theatre at ILM (the same one I saw the season three premiere in) and spotted many of the cast and crew of the show, including Dave Filoni, Joel Aron, Ashley Eckstein, Matt Lanter, and Sam Witwer. Producer Cary Silver and Dave Filoni introduced the episode (they also inducted Bonnie Burton into the Wolf Pack) and then we were off.

Filoni cut together a special version of all four episodes of the arc and opened it in an unusual fashion: with the theatrical Star Wars main theme instead of the regular show theme. Sabotage, the first episode, which I found a bit dry the first time I saw it, held up much better in the context of the larger story. In fact, it telegraphs a lot of what is to come in the finale, much more than I would have expected. But that’s the mark of excellent storytelling, it’s all there for you to see, you just need to know how to look.

But the first two episodes set the stage for the final two, which are absolutely breathtaking. We’re taken to the underworld of Coruscant (which looked heavily influenced by Blade Runner), where Ahsoka hunts for clues to prove her innocence, with the unlikely help of Asajj Ventress.

She’s led into a trap and caught, when we see her put on trial next week for the murder of the Jedi Temple Bomber and her involvement in the plot. Anakin, for his part, is absent at her trial seeking to discover the true villains in the plot.

This episode is beautifully animated, heart-wrenching, and leaves us with so many question marks to come that I can’t even begin to comment on them until after the episode airs. What I can comment on, though, as did Dave Filoni at the Q and A afterwards, was the music. Kevin Kiner pulled out all the stops for these episodes, even recording a live orchestra for the music in this arc. It’s also the first time a number of the best and most recognizable John Williams themes are used on the show to the maximum possible effect.

More than anything, this final episode is emotional. Perhaps one of the most emotional I’ve ever witnessed. For the last two thirds of this episode I was holding back tears and a lump in my throat. Matt and Ashley did some of their finest work in the final sequences of this episode, but it would never have come off without the incredible animation that puts a soul in the eyes of living, breathing characters that would otherwise be nothing but limp pixels on a screen.

Also: Continuity wonks are probably going to be upset by the handling of a couple of situations and characters, but their use in this arc were used to tell an excellent story, so, please do your best to ignore the problems with less than Lucas-level canon.

Bottom line: put together in a theatrical experience, these four episodes are four of the best I’ve ever seen. They hit all the right notes to make us care and make us thirstier for more, more than we’ve ever been.

I am so excited for everyone to experience the episode so we can all talk about the ramifications of the final act. I’ll post a spoiler filled review of the final episode next week after it airs. If you’re in any way invested in this show and it’s additions to the mythology of Star Wars, my guess is that this episode will be a tear jerker for you. Have tissues handy.

In the meantime, there’s something else I’d like to mention while I have your attention. At the Q and A afterward, Pablo Hidalgo mentioned that there has been no official announcement about if and when the sixth season (or future seasons) will be airing or available for our consumption. I did ask questions about the future of the show, but was greeted with many no comments. One person close to Lucasfilm did tell me, though, that now is the time to raise a ruckus about the future of the show. I’d been waiting until the Disney schedule announcement in March to start causing a stink, but I think that might be too late.

This show is too good to let slip away. And after the unanswered questions raised by these last two arcs, it would be a disservice to fans to let episodes that are already in various stages of production never see the light of day.

And trust me, after this last episode, you’ll have twice as many questions than you did after that business with Darth Maul.

Sad to say, but I found tonight’s episode to be the most groan-worthy of the season so far, right down to the title. Even a bad episode of “Supernatural” is pretty fun, but this one does not have a high re-watch factor for me.

Sam and Dean are called to aid an old ally who has since become a he-witch. James, once a non-witch cop, has been having terrible dreams in which he cold blood murders some random folk. His doberman familiar/hot girlfriend reaches out to the Brothers Winchester to ease what she believes is only a case of the heebie-jeebies but turns out to be so much more. James is having memories planted in his head, he’s being tracked by a jealous fellow cop, and his bestie turns out to be the wicked witch.

The Good:

Jensen Ackless’s comedic acting is always a treat. The jokes might have been a little easy this episode, but his reaction to learning that witch and familiar are intimate was the highlight of the episode. I felt that a couple of tributes were thrown in: The music in the witch bar was pleasantly reminiscent of Angelo Badalamenti, and the final he-witch battle was like two young Palpatines throwing blue lightning at each other. Also, a really nice subtle FX on Spencer’s familiar. The effects this season have been a great improvement, especially when they are used with a light touch.

The shrugworthy:

This episode was downright predictable. As I have mentioned, I am not the girl who figures out the plot twist, but from Spencer’s first appearance I had him pegged as the big bad. Phillipe LeChat? Is a cat? Guh. There was some character regression as well. Dean’s drinking the hard stuff, snaps to sudden judgments about their friend because of his involvement with the dark arts, and Sam immediately reverted to his inferiority complex when Dean questioned his welfare. He’s not worried you’ll fail Sam, he’s worried about your horrible painful death and eternity in Hell if you fail. There’s a big difference. It was a return to the frustrations of season seven, and nobody wants that.

The SAY WHA?!!?

Why is Sam coughing up blood? Why is Sam coughing up blood and hiding it? It was a great cliffhanger on a mediocre episode.

The awesome:

The preview for next week. Olympians and Titans and hunters, oh my!

To Catch a Thief stars Cary Grant and Grace Kelly, and is (at least in title and in theme) the inspiration for Saturday’s episode of The Clone Wars, To Catch a Jedi. This charming comedy/caper was Cary Grant’s third outing with director Alfred Hitchcock and casts him as a retired jewelry thief known as “The Cat” who struggles to maintain his innocence after a ring of copycat burglaries.

After the ending of the last episode of The Clone Wars, The Jedi Who Knew Too Much, it’s rather obvious where the plot of this film will most likely fit into the inspiration for the next episode of The Clone Wars.

After being framed for an assassination and the murder of almost half a dozen clones, Ahsoka flees custody. Early trailers and descriptions of the next episode imply that she’ll be working hard to both prove her innocence and capture the force user who set her up.

There’s nothing funny or charming about the situation, so I think it’s safe to say that The Clone Wars won’t be matching the tone of To Catch a Thief, which is a breezy film, much less intense than some of the more taut Hitchcock fare. This was really a stepping stone for Hitchcock and Grant to get to the perfect balance of suspense and charm in their next collaboration, North by Northwest.

To help clear his name, Robie (Cary Grant’s character) teams up with an attractive heiress who quickly turns into his love interest. I don’t see Ahsoka teaming up with a romantic foil (though Lux might not be far behind), but Asajj Ventress has featured prominently in the advertising for the next episodes. She’s no heiress, but she is attractive.

The love interest in To Catch a Thief is played by Grace Kelly, in her final performance for Alfred Hitchcock. It’s amazing how good he was at photographing her. In every movie she did for him (particularly Rear Window) she’s especially breathtaking. It’s too bad she didn’t make more movies and it’s too bad she died so young, so tragically.

The thing I’d expect to feature in this next episode, inspired by To Catch a Thief, other than the basic premise, would be a stunning rooftop chase. In order to catch the thief, Robie stakes out a rooftop and pursues his impostor. There’s a spotlight and dizzying heights, though part of the chase in the last episode could have easily been taken as an homage for that, too.

The other thing is the lighting:

This feels very Clone Wars, and I’m sure Joel Aron can find a thousand great things about the lighting in this film. I’m sure he could find a thousand things wrong with it, too, but that’s a different story.

This is a great film and I had fun watching it with my son. It’s certainly worth revisiting for any reason, but watching it before the next episode of The Clone Wars would be an excellent idea. It might not be the best Hitchcock film, and not even close to my favorite of his Cary Grant collaborations, but it’s a lot of fun to watch.

It is not currently streaming on Netflix, but it is on Amazon Prime’s free streaming service.

Expectations. Sometimes it’s hard to live up to them.

And in the cutthroat world of corporate business, one knows that quality is oftentimes sacrificed in the name of practicality, especially when deadlines loom.

Lost in the middle of all of this are fans, people who are expected to drop large sums of hard-earned cash for what they hope will be an excellent product. Their hopes and expectations are stoked by companies that put as much window dressing and happy-sunshine-rainbows around their product leading up to launch date in order to maximize early sales, when said item is priced at its most expensive.

Ah, capitalism.

In short, welcome to the tragedy and FUBAR mess that is Aliens: Colonial Marines – Sega’s dead-on-arrival first-person shooter that’s available on Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3.

If you’re looking for an in-depth review, well, I’ll get to that in a bit. In short, the game’s a colossal mess. And for a title that spent six years in development (a short gestation compared to the decade-long fiasco that was Duke Nukem Forever – which has ties to this particular situation, as well), how we got to this point is far more interesting than developer Gearbox’s lame game.

Fan expectations for this game were huge. The Alien franchise is beloved. And fans have suffered mightily over the years. David Fincher was a hot young director when he got hired to helm the movie Alien 3, but the shoot was plagued by corporate hacks and the lack of a script. And the fourth Alien film, which was helmed by French director Jean-Pierre Jeunet of Delicatessen fame, didn’t fare a whole lot better.

Was it any surprise that in resurrecting the film franchise, Fox went back to Ridley Scott, who directed the first film back in the late 1970s? And was it any surprise that he decided to do a prequel that allowed him to reinvent the universe and distance himself from the steaming pile of legacy left by the two directors previous to his 2012 blockbuster?

Well, maybe the video game will get similar treatment in the future. Goodness knows the franchise has taken a body blow thanks to this mess.

For six years, this game bounced between development studios. Ultimately Gearbox, a good studio that has crafted games like the two Borderlands shooters, Half-Life and even was trusted with porting Bungie’s golden goose, Halo: Combat Evolved, to PC, was tasked with bringing this game to market for a 2013 release. However, Gearbox was also knee-deep in prepping Borderlands 2 for market.

The scuttlebutt goes that Gearbox farmed out the grunt work to another studio, which sent them back a subpar game that had few of the features it was supposed to contain. Gearbox, still smarting from being the studio that ultimately released Duke Nukem Forever (which tanked and was roundly – and deservedly – pummelled by fans and critics alike), then apparently tried to salvage what they could in the time they had left before the launch date.

There were already legal threats surrounding the game, given that the project had languished for six years. Who could blame Sega for wanting someone to finally deliver a product so they could try to salvage the money they had invested?

(There is a lot more history to this game’s development and if you’re interested in a peak behind the curtain, check out articles at gaming websites IGN.com or Kotaku.com that can delve a lot more deeply into this story.)

And this is where commerce and commercialism crash head-long into fan expectations and critical evaluation by the general public.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is a frustrating mish-mash of a game. There are nuggets here and there that show just how fun and intense this game could have been. But they are slivers amidst a massive lode of fool’s gold.

The game lacks any sense of intensity. It is not scary, not one bit. The atmosphere has been completely ignored, which is sacrilege in what amounts to a game about guys with guns running around a haunted house as nightmarish creatures hunt them. Imagine a horror game without any horror … no scares, red-herrings, frightening sound effects, spooky music.

And it just gets worse from there.

The action is uneven. The graphics look like something that might have impressed during the original Xbox and PlayStation 2 era. And the story tries to reinvent the franchise, bringing back a character whose appearance is completely unexplainable in any rational sense. I know that some fans (and especially David Fincher) would like to erase Alien 3 and 4 from existence, but this game’s plot twist essentially amounts to another gut-punch to the fans.

The weapons are decent and the sound effects that accompany them are accurate. Wielding the Smart Gun (that badass get-up that Drake and Vasquez wore in the Aliens movie) is damn cool. But that’s about it. Seriously. There’s really nothing else to look forward to in Aliens: Colonial Marines.

There are some awesome Easter Eggs for fans buried in this mess. When you enter Hadley’s Hope, for instance, you’ll find one of the remote sentry turrets sitting where Ripley et al left it, complete with the four rounds that were left after repelling a xenomorph attack in James Cameron’s classic action flick. And you will have the opportunity to pick up and wield several legacy weapons that were dropped by characters from the movie. Picking up Hick’s shotgun (good for close encounters) is pretty cool. As is finding a certain flamethrower amidst the rubble later in the game.

It’s at moments like these that you realize just how badly you wanted this game to rock if you are an Alien fan.

The multiplayer is also a mess. I played the co-op campaign with my son. We were playing on a 52-inch TV and the perspectives for his character and mine were so squished that it was near impossible to play. It sucked away any of the fun that playing co-op is supposed to deliver.

The online multiplayer is only slightly better.

In short, right from Day 1, Aliens: Colonial Marines deserved a much better fate. It deserved to be treated with some respect and reverence. It should have delivered a fright-filled, atmosphere-heavy, intense survival horror meets shooter experience that thrilled fans and critics alike.

Instead, you’ll find yourself wishing that someone had taken a flamethrower to this mess and spared all of us the heartbreak and hassle.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is rated M.

* Wayne Chamberlain has covered the gaming industry since 2002 and is a contributing columnist at Canada.com and Postmedia News. Follow him on Twitter @ChamberlainW. He is also co-host of the Star Wars Book Report podcast, available on iTunes.

The latest installment of the Devil May Cry series follows Dante as he has never looked in the franchise before.

Dante finds himself in the middle of a war between the Angels and the Demons. Consequently he is constantly being dragged into Limbo. The son of Sparda, as Dante is often referred to, strings together combos using his sword, guns and more weapons as they are unlocked in different missions. Discovered weapons and abilities cycle between demonic and angelic capacities that reside within Dante.

The latest entry in the Devil May Cry hack and slash is by far the most stylish. Combat is aggressive yet very smooth. Dante is forced to quickly string together combinations of attacks using different weapons and abilities. Both the Demon and Angel sides to Dante will play a huge part in deciding which weapons to trigger and precisely when. There are also the frustrating demons that are immune to specific angelic or demonic abilities and weapons. Replayability for Devil May Cry is very high simply because the combat is so entertaining. It is always changing and shifting, depending on the weapon Dante favors at that exact moment.

The graphics compliment Dante’s abilities and make the world feel dark and gritty. Limbo itself is full of psychotic areas where shapes from the real world are accentuated and slanted, colors are distorted and shadows from the actual world can be seen skulking around. Some levels of Limbo will literally have the ground shift underneath you as you run through the area. It feels chaotic, abstract and disorienting – it is just as you would imagine a place like Limbo to feel. Each area follows this dark theme, leaving Dante standing out with his stylish battle combinations and lavish attitude.

Kat, your psychic guide

Dante’s character is a typical partier who hits up the club every night and sleeps with tons of women. This is a different feel than the previous Dante encountered in the Devil May Cry series. This more unrestrained, outspoken Dante fits this gameplay style very well, however. He makes snide remarks towards the demons that get in his way, making his character more playful. It helps cast Dante as someone who enjoys slaying demons – something that as a player I definitely feel while controlling Dante. Slaying demons in Devil May Cry is an art – it involves using different weapons, hacking and slashing through the air and tying together combos smartly yet vigorously.

Missions are equipped with a number of items that can be found: copper, argent, gold and ivory keys – which serve to unlock their corresponding locked doors. Each of these locked doors opens up a trial mission that can be completed to earn a health cross or a trigger cross – increasing Dante’s overall health or  devil trigger meter. Lost souls are also trapped in Limbo and freeing them grants red orbs, similar to currency since they can be spent on useful items such as health elixirs or golden orbs (granting resurrection). Replaying missions to find all of the lost souls, keys and secret doors definitely adds more hours into playing this game.

Devil May Cry is overall a very short game. There are a total of 20 missions, longer missions lasting about 20 minutes and shorter missions lasting under 10. My first playthrough was just under 9 hours to complete the game; however, this was on an easy difficulty compared to some of the insanely hard difficultly levels.  After beating the game once you can unlock Son of Sparda mode: remixed enemy waves with increased health. After completing Son of Sparda mode, the rest of the game modes are unlocked, except Hell and Hell. Dante Must Die mode: the toughest enemies with insane attack waves. Heaven or Hell: remixed enemy waves but everything, including Dante, dies in one hit. Hell and Hell is unlocked when finished beating Heaven or Hell mode; it consists of remixed enemy waves but only Dante dies with one hit. This difficulty feels impossible – good luck to anyone striving to earn that achievement.

Juggling with guns

Dante is granted a combat score based solely on the stylishness of battle. [D=dirty, C=cruel, B=brutal, A=anarchic, S=savage, SS=sadistic, SSS=sensational] Using the same combination or the same weapon to fight a demon will result in fewer and fewer points being granted. Switching up the style by, say, raking a demon into the air, hacking him with Rebellion until he starts to fall, stomping him into the ground using a charged Eryx, then endlessly slicing with Osyris’ cleaver move, will result in a higher combat score. Keep in mind: whenever Dante takes a hit the score drops significantly.

Stylish combat also serves to fill up Dante’s Devil Trigger – an ability learned later game that essentially stops time and grants multipliers for attacking enemies frozen in the air. Devil Trigger is a useful ability for hordes of annoying demons.

At the end of each mission, a score is granted based on overall style, how quickly the mission was finished, and completion percentage. Using items or dying reduces your mission score considerably. Scores are saved to the leaderboards under each difficulty the mission has been completed on. The leaderboards add to the high replayability of the game.

Overall, DmC Devil May Cry is an awesome addition to the hack and slash genre. It looks great, plays smoothly and has a story that keeps players enticed until the end. Replayability of previous missions is high and extreme difficulty levels keeps hardcore gamers entertained. Anyone interested in a new hack and slash needs to pick this one up.

When the Wii U came out, I picked one up on launch day, something I had never done before with a new game system.  As I said in my original article, it was a ton of fun. It provided some of the best times I had gaming in a long time and showed true potential for what a next-gen console could accomplish via the Gamepad and second screen technology.

All of that wrapped up with the fact that it was backwards compatible with original Wii games, and it almost seemed like the perfect package.  Sure, it was missing a few features, but Nintendo promised they’d release them within a month (they did), so it seemed all was well.  I loved the damn thing and was extremely excited to see what Nintendo and other developers had in store for us.

Three months have passed.

Currently, the Wii U landscape is about as barren as the Gobi desert.  Aside from a few DLC games, the TVii update (which flopped miserably, as Citizen-Bot can attest to), and a half-assed port of the Avengers Kinect game, there has been absolutely nothing to drive anyone to pick up anything for the system let alone convince someone to plunk down their hard earned money and actually purchase the damn thing.  Sure, Nintendo has promised us our Marios, Zeldas and other high-quality first-party titles, but those are like a shimmering mirage that do nothing to quench our thirst now.

I put up with the fact that there were no really good launch titles for the simple reason that most systems don’t have a strong library of games from the get go.  Sure, there’s always those one or two games that stand out and sell the systems by themselves, but early adopters don’t expect masterpieces when they first buy the new technology (Halo and Super Mario 64 being a few of the rare exceptions).

The problem with the Wii U was there wasn’t even one stand out title that made the system worth buying.  Yes, Mario was amazing, but it was a 2D platformer that barely took advantage of the Gamepad and didn’t highlight the new features of the system.  Nintendo Land was great; showing off the potential of the Gamepad. But overall, it was just a collection of mini-games like Wii Sports on steroids.  Zombi U was innovative, but it was a horrible game, and all of the ports were solid enough by themselves, but there was no reason to pick them up if you had played them on Xbox360 or PS3.

I was extremely excited for Rayman Legends to be released, having downloaded and played the hell out of the demo.  Finally!  A game that really showed off the Wii U.

Nope, not gonna happen for awhile.

Now that the devs have seen how poorly the Wii U has done, they want to port it to the other systems and release them all at once, which makes business sense, but is horrible for all us poor Wii U owners, as an exclusive title that shows off the unique advantages of the system are just what we need now.

So what have I done with my Wii U these last 3 months?  Well, after getting done with Mario, all I do is catch up on old Wii games I hadn’t played through yet.  Oh, and it gets really dusty — that’s it.  I show it off to friends when they come over to visit.  We play Nintendo Land for an hour or so before they ask, “What else have you got?”

“This Rayman Legends demo, which is really cool for the 3 levels you get to play through,” I sheepishly reply.

5 minutes later.

“That was a lot of fun too.  Anything else?”

“No … let’s watch TV.”

I still stand by everything I had to say in my first review; the Wii U has every bit of potential to be a big player in the next gen console wars due to its originality and second screen technology, but there’s not a chance in hell I would recommend buying one now or in the near future.

It almost seems as if Nintendo released it just in time for the holidays to make a few bucks, and then forgot about it.  It’s really nice that we’re getting a Wind Waker HD remake later this year and to know that the good stuff is ‘on its way’, but at this point, it just seems like Nintendo really doesn’t give a shit.  And you know what, at this point, neither should any of us.

Some of the other robots have some pretty strong feelings on the Wii U as well, so here they are to share their thoughts.

Shaz-Bot:

I’ll preface this by saying I’m going to sound like a Nintendo apologist, and for that I apologize. While I will admit I’m not using my Wii U as much as I did back in November/December, there are still a lot of awesome things going on with it right now.

This past week saw the amazing Google Street view app appear. When I first heard about this, I was wondering why anyone would like this at all. Now, though? What a cool way to explore parts of the world I may never see in real life! You literally use the Wii U gamepad as a window to the world, I found myself virtually exploring my old neighborhood, going to a sushi bar in Shibuya, and having a full 360-degree view of Piccadilly Square. This is the sort of thing only the Wii U can do, and we’ve barely scraped the potential!

Not only that, but Nintendo is currently celebrating 30 years in the home console business with an amazing showcase of their old titles. By practically giving away select Virtual Console games at 30 cents apiece, it’s a risk-free way to explore what the Wii U has to offer.

Of course, it’s not all sunshine and roses, and sadly, a lot of that is Nintendo’s own fault. I work in retail, and I have lost count of how many people assume the Wii U is an add-on for the original Wii, and when they are set straight, they balk at the $300 price point. Honestly, if Nintendo used their marketing muscle to advertise the system better, or at least not call the freaking thing a Wii, they wouldn’t be in the boat they’re in now.

You know what though? The 3DS started out slowly and had a hefty price tag too. Now? It’s the highest selling console, with a metric ton of awesome games. I’m confident the Wii U will get there too, again this is because of Nintendo themselves.

I am feeling pretty burned by the Rayman delay as well, that kiosk demo made me want the system in the first place! That’s on UbiSoft though. A vote of no confidence like that really stings, but I bought a Nintendo system primarily for Nintendo games, and those I’ll have in spades. I’m optimistic for the future, despite how dire things seem now.

Citizen-Bot:

I’m somewhere in the middle. I’m disappointed in the Wii U, but remain hopeful because there is just so much untapped potential. I want an entire Zelda game that delivers what the minigame in Nintendoland teases. Ditto for the Metroid game.

The Wii U is that kid we all knew who was the smartest one in the room but refused to do their homework. The potential is so great, but without doing the work, you can’t reach that potential.

But you know what really disappoints me (and this is so weird, I’ll admit it):

Gangnam Style.

Yes, you read that right. Ubisoft’s #1 selling game right now, Just Dance 4, and they release a DLC right before the holidays to buy the Youtube dance sensation The Macarena… I mean Gangnam Style. My kids love the Just Dance. We have, I think, 4 or 5 different ones. It is one of the games we play most often on our Wii U. And while I appreciate the  fun factor they built in just for Wii U to have “Puppetmaster Mode” where the person with the gamepad chooses the dance moves for the people playing, I find it inexcusable that we can download dlc for the Wii to play Gangnam Style but not on the Wii U. It just seems… amateurish?

Of course, if they pulled the developers off Wii U dlc to finish Rayman, then more power to them. Because I want that game.

The other major disappointment for me is Aliens: Colonial Marines. Now, I know that game has its own problems relating to its development, but one of the reasons I was so keen on getting a Wii U were benchmarking reports coming out after E3 last year that tested playing Colonial Marines on a PS3, XB360, and Wii U and showed vastly superior performance for the Wii U. Plus, we were promised an Alien vs Squad of Marines game mode where up to 4 Marines could play on a split screen Goldeneye style, while the Alien used the gamepad and its touchscreen functionality to royally f@#$ them up. Then we find out we’re not getting the Wii U version the same time as the others. Then we find out the game sucks. Now I seriously doubt we’ll get the Holy Grail of squad shooters trying to kill a xenomorph.

And they still need to seriously upgrade Wii TVii. Since writing my review, I haven’t turned mine on. What’s the point? If I’m just going to watch Hulu anyway and that’s all you’re good for, then why? As a side note, I did finally get my Gamepad to work as a remote for my cablebox. Too bad it’s still a hassle to use and generally not worth it. Too bad we’re getting rid of cable again because Nintendo failed to revolutionize cable enough for me to want to continue subscribing to it.

Also, does anyone else get weird text in the upper left hand side of their Netflix when they run it through the Wii U? No such problems with my Roku box, but after the last update, we started getting white text that told us what the show is we were watching and what quality it was streaming in. It’s tiny and almost unnoticeable, but it’s there. Kids don’t seem to mind.

But none of this really changes that I basically feel all I’ve gotten is an HD upgrade to my Wii, and a big GameBoy Advance to play along with it.

Nintendo needs to get the ball rolling with some solid games and fast. The Gamepad coupled with the 4 Wiimotes sets up the perfect party game dynamic where one player has a special power or their purpose is to disrupt rather than compete. So let’s get some of Nintendo’s best party games: Mario Kart. Smash Brothers. Mario Party.

And let’s start enabling DLC for the party games you do have. I mentioned Just Dance. But our family also got Sing Party. A great platform, but we only got like 20 songs with the game. And that does not a karaoke party make.

As long as titles and features like these don’t exist, no one is going to have to own a Wii U. And as soon as the PS4 and the new XBox hit…. well, unless we’re talking about a major price drop by at least $75-$100, I don’t know how you’re going to keep going.

Swank-mo-tron:

I am probably the most active WiiU user of the bunch here. My kids and I look forward to playing it every weekend and we’re still exploring the depths that NintendoLand and the Wii U Mario Brothers game has to offer. I’m using it for my Amazon and my Netflix, I’m using it for my TV remote. I’m having an absolute blast with it and haven’t even thought about buying a new game for it yet. I have thought about taking Epic Mickey 2 back, though. That game wasn’t good.

The system is everything I need at the moment, the only notable downside is that it still doesn’t play DVDs or Blu-rays, which seems to be the only time I fire up my PS3 these days.

I’ll admit, I’m not a heavy gamer and neither are my kids, but the WiiU has provided my family with endless entertainment, most of it coming from NintendoLand.

Do I want more games? Yes. Do I want Aliens: Colonial Marines despite the bad reviews for my WiiU? Yes. Do I regret buying my WiiU? Not for a second. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. That I can play 5 player games on NintendoLand that involve the whole family is the best, and that more games will eventually come for it is enough for me. The life of these next-gen systems is quite a while and Wii U will catch up with software. Of that, I have no doubt.

Wrath.o.Tron:

I never bought a Wii.
Sure, I had a lot of fun playing a bit of Wii Sports with friends and family. Then I borrowed my friend’s Wii–which he hadn’t touched in months–played the handful of games I had any interest in, then gave it back and never thought about it again.

For me, the Wii felt like a great idea that wasn’t quite ready yet. So I guess I thought the Wii U, being the next iteration of the technology, would represent the maturation of the ideas and innovations that didn’t quite live up to their potential on the Wii.

What I got was a Wii with a new controller. A new controller I almost never use.

The time has come?
Nintendo’s E3 demos of the Wii U were sufficiently exciting that I decided to put my cash on the line and put my faith in Nintendo to make good on their promises. Okay, that’s not entirely true. The Rayman demo sold me, because it was the perfect example of how the Wii U technology can be used to create completely new, totally innovative gaming experiences. (I want my Rayman, goddamnit.)

Just like the Wii, there is so much potential here, the Rayman demo proves it, but I fear that Nintendo’s complete failure in this piss-poor launch is going to prevent any developers from investing any serious time or energy into the system. I foresee the Wii U with a bunch of second-rate, lazy ports and very little in the way of exclusive drawing power.

If that happens, I really did just pay out the nose for a Wii U when I should have just bought an original Wii used.

De ja vu, all over again.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. My family and I really enjoyed the Wii U for a few hours when we got together for the holidays. We played some Nintendoland, I even bought Wii Sports so we could relive those fond memories. Then I played some of the new Mario (which, by the way, was basically the same game I had just finished on my 3DS), and I haven’t touched the Wii U since.

Besides the lackluster launch library, there was a litany of minor irritations that came along with my Wii U.

Sorry, how many goddamn controllers do I need to buy?
If you were a Wii owner, you may be glad to know that all your original WiiMotes will work with your Wii U (provided they have MotionPlus). If however, like me, you gave the Wii a pass, the initial investment for a Wii U is pretty enormous considering how little payoff you get at this point. I don’t understand how Nintendo can expect anyone to shell out this kind of money on a system with very little to make itself desirable.

As far as controllers, the system comes with the GamePad, and nothing else. If you want to play anything multiplayer (which, let’s face it, is the whole point of a Wii) you have to buy a WiiMote Plus for everyone because in most of the multiplayer games, you cannot use the GamePad the same way you would use a WiiMote. That means, if you want to play a four player game, you have to spend around $160 ($40 each, new) for WiiMotes. Don’t forget to factor in a set of four Nunchucks at up to $20 a pop or you miss out on a lot of gaming options. Also, AA batteries for the WiiMotes because rechargables are an additional cost.

Besides all that, the so-called “Wii U Pro Controller” (~$50, new) has very limited compatibility, that is: works with very few games. (Note, it does not work with either NintendoLand or New Super Mario Bros U.)

Nintendo is really falling down on this one. Motion controls can be good fun and all, but the WiiMote makes a terrible gamepad for any non-motion gaming. If Nintendo really wants to bring back the core gaming audience like they claim, they’re doing a spectacularly terrible job of it. By the way, the Wii U Pro Controller also does not work when you go into “Wii Mode,” so if you want to use a “Wii Classic Controller” with your Wii games, guess what? You’ll have to buy a set of those as well (~$25 each, new), and have an equal number of WiiMotes too, because the Classic Controller plugs into the bottom of a WiiMote.

You don’t win die hard fans by nickel-and-diming them with a million little peripherals. Nintendo needs to rectify this. They need to make the controllers more cross-compatible and they need to make it easier and less costly to acquire a full set of controllers. The MotionPlus technology is four years old, there’s got to be a way to make it financially viable to bundle up some of this stuff and make it cheaper.

So I’m left with… a Wii.
I wish I had Shaz-Bot’s confidence that this will all turn around and become worth it, I really do. But I don’t see that happening. I see a horribly mismanaged console launch that is going to scare away potential buyers and leave the system with a pathetically slim market share… which will scare off developer…, which will leave the Wii U even less relevant… and on and on. I see that feedback loop persisting until we all regret our decision and try to sell off our systems at pennies on the dollar.

I guess I’ll try to make all this worth it by catching up on a few of those Wii games I never played. I heard Xenoblade Chronicles was pretty good…

I need to start out by saying that I don’t think I’ve ever hated a television character as much as I hate The Governor. I find something likable, or at the very least cheeky, about all my favorite villains, but man. I just hate him. I hate him more than I hate Andrea, for God’s sake. And as much as that sounds like a complaint, it really just means that The People in Charge of These Things are doing their jobs really, really well.

On tonight’s episode, Rick has decided to take an extended stay in Crazytown, Glenn takes the reigns as group leader but is pretty much being a vengeful turd about it, and Merle and Daryl make a decision about their fate after rescuing a family from an onslaught of walkers. And hereby ends the spoiler free portion of the recap.

The “meh”:

I am getting a little bored with Glenn and Maggie’s “stomping off” relationship. There’s always some stomping. Tonight’s tiff was especially muddy: Was Maggie upset because she thought Glenn was mad at her for being assaulted, or because of his behavior since their rescue? Was Glenn mad at Maggie for being assaulted  or was he mad at himself for not being able to protect her? My thoughts are of course the latter, but it really wasn’t terribly clear in the writing and this particular argument seemed a senseless plot point. I’m hoping for a quick chain of events to tidy up a bit: Rick stops seeing Laurie’s ghost (or we see a point to that), and returns to his position as camp leader so that Glenn can get rid of the pressure that he, sadly, cannot handle.

The Governor set Andrea up with a boastful pep talk, and encouraged her to be the spirit of the town in his stead. Meanwhile, he is continuing to raise everyone’s distrust of her. Why? He is sinister enough without these actions, and it seems that the distrust and misdirection while the Governor sneaks out for vengeance would have been the natural progression anyway.

The Awesome:

Merle and Daryl come to their senses and return to the prison – in the nick of time, no less! After the Governor releases a Walker-bomb on the front lawn, the brothers arrive just in time to save Rick and Hershel from certain doom. I’m really glad that this decision did not take several episodes to resolve. It was great to finally see the two interact for the first time in three seasons, and it was an efficient and powerful development of their entire history and relationship. That right there was awesome television writing.

The final fifteen minutes of the episode were exhilarating and a great balance to the heavy drama and character development of the rest of the episode. Seeing Michonne whip her sword through a field of zombies always makes me cheer a little, and her one spoken line of dialogue tonight was spoken normally, not in a Batman voice. I hope this becomes a trend, because she really is one of my favorite characters.

The “oh no, not that guy”:

Aw, not Old Timey Facial Hair Guy! I’m so sad! Yes, just as we were getting to know Axl, he leaves us. The episode did a great job of setting him up for something momentous – I was actually anticipating a reveal that the nice guy act was just that, but yeah that’s pretty dumb of me because this is The Walking Dead.

Kill of the Week? If you answered anything other than Hatchback Zombie you are wrong.

All in all, good episode and another helluva cliffhanger. CitizenBot returns next week for your recap and review!