Last time, our ersatz Captain America was careening wildly in a remote controlled truck filled with explosives headed for an orphanage full of nuns! Just kidding about that last part. One thing I love about old stuff like this is how etymology has changed. We’d never say that something is a robot car because it can be controlled remotely. I think we should bring it back though. So if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fire this my “robot viso-screen” and watch Chapter 5 of Captain America: Blade of Wrath!

As for this week’s extras, I have both the poster and the lobby card for this chapter. The lobby card is from the film’s re-release, but the poster is the from the original release. Hope you enjoy them!

Yesterday, Warner Bros. announced that The Dark Knight Rises had gone into production and to go along with that they launched the official web page for the anticipated film, thus also launching their viral campaign.

Upon visiting the site you are only greeted with a blank, black screen with chanting-type music playing. Seriously. That’s it. Well, someone over in the Superhero Hype message forums took it upon themselves by taking a look at the sounds in an audio program and came up with this:

It turns out that tweeting using the hashtag of @thefirerises will slowly fill in a mosaic image at http://www.thedarkknightrises.com/image.html using twitter account avatars that have used that hashtag. At the time of this post, this is where they are at with the image:

The image obviously isn’t complete yet, but the geek community is an impatient and resourceful bunch, and the full image has already been uncovered! And guess what. It’s our first look at Tom Hardy as Bane (click the image below for high-res)!

It amazes me that no matter how obscure or complicated these viral campaigns get, someone always finds a way to decipher it. I never in a million years would have thought to plug that audio file into a program expecting to get results like a Twitter hashtag!

If history has taught us anything it’s that this is probably only the tip of the iceberg for this viral campaign and we will be sure to bring you more The Dark Knight Rises goodies as quickly as we can as they’re unveiled!

Source: Superhero Hype!

Of course this isn’t a super-clear view of the man who broke the Bat’s back, but what do you think of the look of Nolan’s version of Bane? Sound off in the comments below!

I had a chance this week to see the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise and I have to say I was initially excited. I pretty much hated the first three films in the franchise (the first was the best, but that’s not saying much), but when the trailers for this newest film came out I was actually looking forward to it. They had gotten rid of my two biggest problems from the first part of the series (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly) and added two of my favorite actors (Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane.)

Though they traded up with the supporting cast, I’m sorry to report that they didn’t really fix any of the other problems with the franchise.

The script might be one of the worst I’ve ever borne witness to and the entire film was plodding and boring. I checked my watch repeatedly through the film. And it wasn’t just me. My kids came with me and they loved the Pirates franchise. Halfway through the film my 8 year old daughter handed me her 3D glasses and said, “Dad, can you just tell me when it’s a funny or exciting part?”

Maybe some of the parts would have been funny or exciting if they’d been built by competent screenwriters not trying to just rip off Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in the most ham-fisted way possible. Though it’s one of my least favorite Indiana Jones pictures, at least Last Crusade made a logical sense and had set ups that were paid off and characters that made sense (except for Marcus Brody in the last half, but that’s a different article.) Nothing about this latest pirates movie made sense. Exposition was dropped into the dialogue with all the grace of a 400 pound pig dressed as a hooker.

To start, Jack Sparrow has allegedly been adventuring for the Fountain of Youth for a while but, for reasons beyond me, he knows nothing about it. (I was told it was because he was bullshitting everyone about searching for it, but if that’s true, why did he have the map?) In order to get him out of one of the most plodding and boring action sequences in the movie (the first one) his dad (Keith Richards, reprising his role) shoots a British soldier in the back and takes his boy for a drink… Every line he has is dripping with poorly written exposition and then he vanishes. Seriously. Literally. Into thin air. Nary a word is spoken about him for the rest of the film. What the hell?

Then Jack Sparrow fights Penelope Cruz who is dressed as his doppleganger. There’s a really long, stupid explanation for it, that they take time out of a major action sequence (their fight) to explain it.

Blah, blah, blah. A whole bunch more stuff happens that’s boring and then they’re all adventuring for the Fountain of Youth. Blackbeard (I’m evil because I’m evil) is trying to live longer. Geoffrey Rush’s character is after him for some off-screen wrong done him. And the Spanish are also after the Fountain. They actually start the movie, appear twice, briefly in the middle, and then once at the end. It made no sense.

I’m seriously getting angry writing about the amateur nature of the writing. Films this expensive should spend MORE money on a good script, but these guys went lowest common denominator and hired the guys who wrote the first three Pirates movies. As though they hadn’t ALREADY sucked it up enough. I hope they don’t get anymore work… The screenplay was just awful. None of the character turns made sense. It’s like they got to the end of the movie and said, “Oh yeah, the characters need to change,” so they had the Mermaid save the people who tortured her (which didn’t make sense) and Penelope Cruz want to kill Jack Sparrow for not letting her sacrifice her life.

Ugh.

Since I don’t want my blood pressure to get too high, I’ll move on to the visuals. I’ll say this: DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE IN 3D. The 3D is garbage and mutes the colors. I spent half the movie with my glasses off and it looked prettier and more vibrant, if not slightly more blurry. 3D for this film is a waste of your money.

Actually, 2D is a waste of your money on this film, too.

The only thing worth anything in this movie was the music, which was a pretty good rehash of the only thing worth anything from the last three movies. Let me save you a whole bunch of time and money: Go buy the soundtrack to the film and play it for the whole family. For $12 you and the whole family can enjoy, in perpetuity, the only thing worth enjoying about this film.

And since people are going to shit themselves to pay for this piece of crap, we’re almost certain to get another one of these films. Here’s a nickel’s worth of free advice to Disney: NEXT TIME HIRE A COMPETENT WRITER AND NO ONE WILL LEAVE YOUR FILM HATING IT….

Everyone’s favorite beefcake Armie Hammer was officially given the title role in The Lone Ranger, something which had been rumored and in the works for weeks. He joins the long-announced Johnny Depp as Tonto in this project, long stuck in development hell, which now looks like it might actually be moving forward, and I think Hammer is a great choice.

I’ll be the first to admit, I know little more about The Lone Ranger than just the very basics: radio serial, he wore a mask, rode a horse, had a sidekick named Tonto who called him “Kemosabe.”

The rest I know from my favorite Lyle Lovett song, “If I Had a Boat”:

The mystery masked man was smart
He got himself a Tonto
‘Cause Tonto did the dirty work for free
But Tonto he was smarter
And one day said kemosabe
Kiss my ass I bought a boat
I’m going out to sea

I’m doubting that’s the actual plot, or else I would’ve thown up a “spoiler alert.”

So, that being said, how do you make this work for a 21st century audience?

Well, first, I hope they forego the 3D. Seriously. Give it a rest.

Then, look at what’s been working among similar films. Western motif? Look no further than True Grit to see folks will eat it up.

Second, I hope they take a look at The Green Hornet: it didn’t take itself too seriously, and they made the sidekick the real badass of the duo.

Third, if you follow that advice, I hope you also keep Johnny Depp toned down. Tonto can’t be anything like Jack Sparrow. Like CIA Agent Sands in Once Upon a Time in Mexico? You’re getting closer, but even take it down another notch.

And then hopefully Armie can play somewhere between big dumb eye candy and hapless hero. This is a great choice in my opinion. I can only hope we hear even more soon as this production moves forward.

The live action Akira was in the news again last week. Now we have Keanu Reeves to add to the miles long casting rumor list that has circulated for the past three years. This list has gone from Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Godon Levitt (actors who I would have been a bit happier with because they’re actually talented), to Justin Timberlake and Robert Pattinson, and now to Keanu Reeves (who is currently in talks to play Kaneda). The Hollywood Reporter, who published this story along with news that Albert Hughes (From Hell, The Book of Eli, Dead Presidents) will be directing the project, wrote that this film will be an adaptation to NYC from “Neon Tokyo.” Yep, Hollywood totally has their source material together for this film…

A recent picture that People Magazine posted of Keanu Reeves running through the Streets of NYC.

Sure, Keanu Reeves, why not? If the writing and direction turn out to be better than I expect then he could actually make Kaneda seem a bit more believable than any of the other actors recently rumored to touch the script (other than Levitt, of course, he’s a great actor and I’m sure he didn’t want anything to do with this most-likely terrible script.). At least the project won’t end up with Justin Timberlake and Robert Pattinson in the leading roles. I had been imagining the following exchange in my head for the last few weeks if they actually were put into this train wreck of a production:

This script has been passed around so many times that I’m starting to wonder if it’s worse than I’ve ever possibly imagined. When I posted a few weeks ago about the upcoming live action Akira I had already pretty much given up on it being any good. But hey, maybe Hollywood will suprise me. Maybe they’ll hire some consultants from the original animated film from Japan, bring them over and ask them for their advice. Maybe they’ll consult the creator of Akira, Katsuhiro Otomo, and actually get some real insight as to what he imagines in a live action adaptation in New York City. Maybe they’ll throw away this crappy script that nobody wants to accept and just re-write it with the original creation in mind?

Or maybe it will look something like this animated production from Harry Partridge:

Hey, at least Reeves can ride a motorcycle. Check out this photo of him riding in California. It just screams “I am so totally the leader of a bike gang! Watch out Neo New York City! I’m a total badass!”

But wait, wasn’t Reeves rumored to be involved in a live action Cowboy Beebop adaptation? Whatever happened to that? I’ve seen rumors around the internet that the project was (thankfully) scrapped since it didn’t have enough support, but there’s not much concrete news to confirm or deny that the Cowboy Beebop live action film even made it past the idea stages. Oh, and did I forget to mention that Tetsuo and Kaneda are supposed to be teenagers? Why is the rumored casting list so much older? Have they scrapped the original characters altogether in favor of something completely different? Make up your mind Hollywood! (And tell me enough in advance so I can mentally prepare myself for whatever it is you’re doing to all these anime properties.)

Well, I’m out of ideas. If any of you think you know what the new Akira film will actually be about, leave your thoughts in the comments field. In the meantime, I’ll just keep dreaming for something like this to happen:

:

Tintin was a character and a hero that I grew up with- Ya, I’m Canadian …and when I first heard that Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg were teaming up to do an adaptation of Tintin… I was one of those that thought it was the greatest idea since they told me Guillermo Del Toro was doing Hellboy. That being said- there was a lot of naysaying to be waded through.

With the release of the teaser though, I feel that all that negativity is squashed. Just, completely debunked- no really- watch it:

I’m going to start by admitting that the first thought that went through my brain was “Wait a minute- I thought that this was supposed to be an animated film!”

Then, with the first reveal of a character- Tintin’s dog Snowy- I realized the world these two amazing storyteller’s are building, is, without any question in my mind, going to take animated storytelling to a different place- it has the realism of the animated drivel Zemeckis has been doing recently- but with the character development and design of actual artists, not just someone who scanned another someone’s face and hoped no one would notice.

Although, I will say that there are a couple of “Zemeckis” looking moments in the teaser- parts where the animation seems too robotic, and fake. A style I’ve never been a fan of. Pixar has is wrapped- even if they’re supposed to be human- an animation won’t sell as living unless it moves like a cartoon to some extent. (Just look at The Incredibles)

On a final note- The scope of this film seems on par with the last Pirates of the Caribbean movie, but without the feeling that it was just phoned in on the last day of production- oh, and the voice talent sounds supreme.

I hope, I hope, I hope that they have captured the imagination and creativity of the old character’s and stories… So far- I believe they have.

In case you haven’t heard amongst all of the noise of the upcoming Summer blockbuster season, there is a new muppets movie due out on November 23 of this year! I know Proletariatron and I have been catching the bits and pieces of the news as it has been released, but today Disney released the first teaser poster for the muppets’ triumphant return to the big screen in their latest film simply titled, The Muppets.

Jason Segell – who apparently is a hugemuppets fan – co-wrote the script and is starring in the film as Gary, the human that befriends the muppets and helps them save their beloved muppet theater from an oil tycoon bent on demolishing it to get to oil that he believes lies underneath it.

In an article in USA Today, Segel talked a bit about the film:

While the lifelong Muppet fan has vowed to keep the movie true to its original core, expect changes such as Kermit the Frog walking on-screen when the movie opens Nov. 23.

“Technology has changed,” says Segel. “We’re able to show them doing stuff they hadn’t been able to do before. We’re pretty proud of that.”

. . .

“We have every Muppet you could possibly think of,” he says, including Beaker and the Swedish Chef.

The filmmakers decided to embrace the fact that the Muppets have not been on-screen since 1999’s Muppets From Space.

“Entertainment changed. It became about animation, violence and cynicism. The Muppets sort of lost their place,” says Segel. “In the movie, we acknowledge that the Muppets had some rough years and went their own separate ways to start their own careers.”

Fozzie now performs with a Reno casino tribute band called the Moopets, Miss Piggy is a plus-size fashion editor at Vogue Paris, and Animal is in a Santa Barbara clinic for anger management.

–USA Today

There have been some concerns amongst muppet fans regarding Segel’s comment about “technology changing” that he may mean the use of CGI muppets. My guess is that this is not the case as everything Segel has said about this film is that it is going to be a classic muppet movie. My own speculation is that the only CGI we will be seeing (if any) in this film involving muppets may be the removal of rods and other mpuppetry tools to accomplish full-body shots, etc.

Having just watched The Muppets Take Manhattan on Netflix a few weeks ago – which, by the way, still holds up today and is a great film – I couldn’t be more excited for the return of Kermit and Miss Piggy and company this November and will be planted firmly in a seat at my local theater opening weekend. Of course, it wouldn’t be a muppet movie without a bevy of human-star cameos. Here’s a list of some stars you can expect so far:

• Amy Adams
• Chris Cooper
• Emily Blunt
• John Krasinsky
• Sean Penn
• Neil Patrick Harris
• Jack Black
• Danny Trejo
• Zack Galifianakis
• Katy Perry
• Ed Helms
• Ricky Gervais
• Whoopy Goldberg
• Mickey Rooney

and the list goes on . . .

The Muppets opens on November 23, 2011.

You might not know the name Dan Hipp, but you’ve probably seen his work. Dan is the artist behind such greatness as The Amazing Joy Buzzards and Gyakushu! When he’s not doing that, he’s making amazing pop culture art on his blog. He’s featured just about anything you can think of, from Robocop, to John Carpenter’s The Thing, to various and sundry Star Wars imagery. Lately, he’s been doing some truly inspired mash-ups of different pop culture icons. Here are a few of my favorites:

Not only are these images really cool, they are things I would gladly hand over my money to see in action. Bond/Batman? Sign me up. Indy/Cap? I can not give you my money fast enough. If mash-ups aren’t your thing, you should still go check out Dan’s blog. There is literally something for everyone’s own geeky pleasure.

You know, I was gonna give the Grant Gardner incarnation of Cap here some credit. He’s taking on the forces of the Scarab because he loves his county, but he’s still just a man. There is no Super Soldier Serum running through his veins, he doesn’t even have a shield! He has a lot going against him, but he still perseveres. I was rooting for the guy, despite not being “my” Captain America. Then I watched this episode, and he broke the cardinal rule of heroism (for me, your mileage may vary). I won’t spoil, as you’ll see it in a few minutes yourself, but bad form, ersatz Cap… Bad form. At any rate, here’s chapter 4: Preview of Murder!

This week’s additional content is a lobby card for this serial’s re-release in 1953. It was re-titled Return of Captain America, and as far as I can tell, it was just as inaccurate the second time around. At least we almost, almost get Cap punching Charlie Chaplin Hitler.

I had heard rumors early in the week that we would see the trailer for the new Fight Night remake by the end of the week – and it being Friday the 13th it seems totally appropriate. Shocktillyoudrop.com (whom this trailer comes from) has a great write up & interview with the director and cast to which I think expounds wonderfully on why this is worth giving a chance. Personally – this is one of the films I am most excited for this summer, for pure curiosity.