’10 Cloverfield Lane’. 7.5 out of Ten. Director: Dan Trachtenberg Cast: John Goodman, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, John Gallagher Jr. Rated: PG-13 (strong language, violence, adult themes) Running time: 103 min. 

Do not read this review. Seriously, the less you know going into ’10 Cloverfield Lane’ the better. The J.J. Abrams-produced and Dan Trachtenberg-directed thriller, ’10 Cloverfield Lane’, an unrelenting thrill ride from start to finish, is best experienced by entering it knowing as little as possible. 

Now, nearly a decade after the 2008 hit “Cloverfield,” which followed a group of friends documenting a monster attack that wiped out New York City, we have ’10 Cloverfield Lane’. Is this a direct sequel to the first ‘Cloverfield’ film? A loosely-connected prequel, à la ‘Prometheus’? Or is this shameless marketing rejiggery exploiting the ‘Cloverfield’ ‘brand’? Abrams has described it as a “blood relative” which… isn’t really an answer, is it? So, what exactly is IT? 

Minor Spoilers Ahead. Serious, if you want to go into this Tabula Rasa…turn back now. 

’10 Cloverfield Lane’, begins with Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) waking up from a car crash. She’s in a survival bunker with an injured leg and pants less. She’s absolutely terrified and confused. She soon discovers she’s the “guest” of one Howard Stambler (John Goodman). He ominously explains that he’s saved her life. There was an “attack”, he says. Outside this bunker everybody is dead and the air is poison. 

Then introduces her to another occupant of the bunker, Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.). Emmett says he fought his way into the bunker after having seen an explosion “like something you read in the Bible”. When Michelle makes a run for escape, she’s met with a bloodied woman outside, also desperate to get in. Remembering the title, we begin to think that Howard — aptly described by Emmett as “a black belt in conspiracy theory” — maybe isn’t as crazy as he seems.

So then what are alternatives? Well, that’s the film, right? Is there danger and certain death on the outside, as Howard insists? Or is Howard the true danger? Michelle simply doesn’t have a lot of options. The unorthodox family makes peace for a while, but it’s impossible for so many doubts to simmer for so long without them boiling over. And then? Then we stop our discussion of the story and talk about Trachtenberg’s ratcheting of tension, of putting us in the same claustrophobic world Michelle finds herself in. When a game of Monopoly with a possible psycho starts to look like a welcome form of entertainment, you know you are in a bad place. 

Trachtenberg, a first-time feature film director who came to Hollywood’s attention in 2011 when he created a short film based on the popular video game ‘Portal’, is patient building this world, and the actors do a good job inhabiting it. The director works the genre, or the genre within the genre, beautifully for most of the running time, his clean, precise direction keeping the eye trained on key movements and the heart racing almost all the way through. Winstead is a terrific actress, and she makes Michelle’s desperation and inventiveness believable. Goodman is never better than when playing a nut, and while we aren’t sure if that’s what he’s doing here, the possibility makes for an intriguing portrayal. 

’10 Cloverfield Lane’ is a tightly constructed piece of entertainment. Trachtenberg knows which buttons to push, bringing us a picture that gleefully places us on edge and confidently nudges us to its conclusion, however satisfactory that may be. In terms of overall structure, the film finds itself slightly lacking as the answers roll around. In order to tiptoe around plot developments, Some eyebrows may be raised, some won’t be. Regardless, at the very least it doesn’t take away from what we’ve been through. Whether it adds up to a decent payoff or not will be up to the individual. 

IMO, the best part…If ’10 Cloverfield Lane’ ends up being a hit (relative to budget and expectations of course), it will be an unthinkable situation where a film was announced just eight weeks prior to release and successfully advertised absent both the year-long run up to release and absent much knowledge of what the film is about/what happens during its 103-minute running time. If this works, we could well see more of these smaller-budget, somewhat mysterious “surprise movies” from those with the clout to make it happen.

Ex Machina (10 out of 10); Directed by Alex Garland; Starring Alicia Vikander, Domhnall Gleeson, Oscar Isaac; Written by Alex Garland; Rated R for graphic nudity, language, sexual references and some violence; 108 minutes; In limited release on April 10, 2015.

I am in love with this movie. In a deeply committed way. I think it is pretty much perfect and over achieves in a genre that struggles regardless of the medium. Good, smart, SciFi is sorely missing in the world. Especially in film, but it also struggles in books, comics, and etc. (Is there such a thing as Smart Musical Sci-Fi? That would be cool. Maybe Public Service Broadcasting qualifies a little?)

But Sci-Fi that understands the science with which it is playing, as well as digging into issues of a human nature, with strong intelligent characters that are more than just plot devices is so rare. And “Ex Machina” is exactly that kind of Sci-Fi. It is really smart about the science, and even smarter about the characters.

Written and directed by Alex Garland (writer of “Dredd”, “28 Days Later”, and “The Beach”), “Ex Machina” is about what makes us intelligent, what defines us as human. And it is surprisingly engrossing in how it asks those questions and how it tries to answer them.

We first get introduced to Caleb, played by a great Domhnall Gleeson (the Harry Potter movies and the little seen “About Time”), a programmer at BlueBook,  a sort of Google type of company that has cornered approximately 90% of the world’s internet search queries. He has won a company contest to spend a week with the big boss.

Oscar Isaac (“Inside Llewyn Davis”, “A Most Violent Year”, and the upcoming Star Wars movie) is fantastic as Nathan, the reclusive and brilliant founder of Blue Book. As Caleb soon finds out when he arrives at Nathan’s very remote estate, Nathan has chosen Caleb specifically to help him out on a secret project he has been working on. The contest was ruse. The real reason he picked Caleb was to bring in an outside observer to help run a Turing test of sorts on an artificial intelligence that he has created. (A Turing test is a kind of exam that is supposed to determine if a machine is actually intelligent as opposed to be very cleverly programmed to respond to predicted stimuli –either verbal or visual, etc.)

Ava, portrayed by the almost too delicate seeming Alicia Vikander (who looks like she has five more movies coming out this year, but was also in the really bad “Seventh Son”), is the autonomous machine that Caleb is expected to test to determine if she has real intelligence or not. 

And what follows that seemingly simple set up is a complex interplay of hidden expectations and needs, played out mostly in scenes of these characters just talking. Probing each other, trying to determine motivations and truthfulness. Value and trustworthiness. “Ex Machina” is full of organic, motivated exposition. For a movie that is mostly dialogue, it keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time, trying to second guess character motivations and even filmmaker motivations.

Just as you begin to think one character is in charge of what is happening, the character paradigm is thrown upside down and you realize that what we are seeing, and what we are hearing is not exactly what is going on. For a movie so full of dialogue, and it is almost all dialogue, there is a ton of subtext playing out unsaid.

And in the end, the movie is about exactly that. How we think. Why we think. Is what we think true or just what we want to be true? Are we just as programmed as our machines. 

Intelligence is more than objective thought. It is emotion. It is feeling. Our ability to think, the whole Vulcan race to the contrary, does not exist independent of feelings.

Everything about this movie is mannered and considered. Very little of it seems to be filler, everything has reason. All the little moments and the big moments each contribute in what feels equal measure to the final denouement. The performances are all on point. There is history in each character, and as it all slowly gets revealed, we realize that “Ex Machina” could only end as it does. Without a lot of sentimentality, just a need to experience life.

TUSK (8 or 6 out of 10)* – Directed by Kevin Smith; written by Kevin Smith; starring Michael Parks, Justin Long, Haley Joel Osment, Genesis Rodriguez and Guy LaPointe; rated R; in wide release September 19, 2014; running time: 102 minutes.

It should be noted before you get to the meat of this review for “Tusk” that I am a fan of Kevin Smith’s Smodco Podcast Network. I am also one of the lucky few who saw an early preview of the first thirty minutes of the film back in June at the Deathray Comics podcast theater in Logan, Utah. My review of that first act was glowing and hopeful. It was, up to that point, the best work in film I had ever seen from Kevin Smith. *So, this review has two ratings. One for Smodco fans and the other for the everyday viewer.

If you’re a fan of Kevin Smith and his podcast’s you’re in for a unique treat. “Tusk” is filled with a plethora of Easter eggs for fans of his podcast’s. If you’re someone wondering what this walrus film is all about, or only knows of Kevin Smith as the guy who was once kicked off an airplane, I think you’ll have a slightly different movie going experience than Smodco fans that shouldn’t be any less enjoyable. In either situation you find yourself, you’re in for a wild and deeply disturbing ride.

you’re in for a wild and deeply disturbing ride.

The idea that had fans like me supporting Kevin Smith’s whimsy on Twitter with the hashtag #WalrusYes was birthed in episode #259 of Smith’s podcast “Smodcast” titled “The Walrus and the Carpenter”. In that podcast Kevin Smith and his longtime friend and “Clerks” producer Scott Mosier poke fun at an Internet personals ad. In the ad an older, wealthy eccentric man is looking for someone who will live in his mansion with him. The lodger would have to live in a walrus suit for two hours a day, eat whole raw fish, and only imitate the sounds of a walrus. For that price, the lodger would get the room and board in the mansion for free. The idea was seized on by the podcasters for the potential humor but Smith quickly deconstructed the absurdity of the exchange into the plot of a horror movie.

In the film, Michael Parks plays the older eccentric gentleman by the name of Howard Howe. The young man that answers the ad is Wallace, played by Justin Long. Wallace and his friend Teddy (Haley Joel Osment) are a pair of podcasters recording the “Not See Party” podcast. It is named as such because Wallace travels around looking for funny content for their podcast while Teddy stays behind. Wallace leaves behind Teddy and his beautiful girlfriend Ally (Genesis Rodriguez), to play the field and podcast from a Canada. That is ultimately a huge mistake for Wallace as he answers Howe’s personal ad after his original story about a Kill Bill Kid goes bust.

Howard meets Wallace at his mansion and charms the young man with quotes by Hemingway and Tennessee Williams. Howard is instantly enchanted by Wallace because of his crass and spoiled generational behavior, as well as his recognition of the poem “The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner”. Howard describes being lost at sea and being washed up onto the shore of the “Island of Ponder Rock”. Howe found that he had been rescued from his sinking Naval vessel by a walrus. It is near that point that Wallace collapses from drinking tea that Howard clearly drugged with a sedative. It is shortly after Wallace awakes from the sedative that Howe’s insanity emerges on screen in full force.

My mind immediately drew a comparison to “Misery”, though the end of the first act is where any similarity to “Misery” ends. Michael Parks delivers a masterful performance that can stand proudly next to any great performance in recent memory. Wallace pleads with Howard to let him use a phone, but instead, Howard lies, beats, boasts and then mocks him. Howard Howe is a deeply sinister character. He is a menacing force of nature throughout the entire picture.

Michael Parks delivers a masterful performance 

The moment the walrus suit is revealed is shocking. Film legend and special effects maestro Robert Kurtzman was the driving creative force behind the madness that is the walrus suit. The walrus costume allows Justin Long to disappear into it and become monstrous. The images and tone through the second act are stomach churning and grotesque but are ultimately counter balanced by the light-hearted and humorous performance by Guy Lapointe as Guy Lapointe.

The newcomer to the screen is at once instantly recognizable but confusingly Canadian. Guy Lapointe is a detective from Quebec who has been chasing down a serial-killer. He meets with Teddy and Ally as a consultant. Together they search for the mysterious serial-killer and their missing friend Wallace. Guy Lapointe is superb. He rounds out an an already stellar cast and the result is a film packed with strong performances.

Ultimately the “Tusk’s” strength is found in the film’s performances. Smith was able to get exactly what he needed from his cast to make the story more than the gross-out horror comedy it imitates. What’s more is that the film never takes itself too seriously. To some that can be an issue, but that certainly was not the case for me. The film doesn’t try to fit the preconceived mold for what a horror movie should be; instead, it is the very expression of a particular artist’s rendition of horror, and it works. 

“Tusk” had me squirming in my seat and laughing uncomfortably to myself in order to relieve the clammy shiver that had worked its way up my spine. Any film in the horror genre usually has to do something special to win me over. I’m not a fan of the jump scare tuned to deep base and then repeated ad nauseam. “Tusk” surprised me by keeping the tension high enough that I genuinely felt creeped out for the entire last half of the film. Even after Guy Lapointe’s post credits sequence I couldn’t shake the dark notions “Tusk” left with me. Kevin Smith has honed his skills as a filmmaker and the result is now a wonderful combination between humor and horror that will delight his fans and give a cheap thrill to every other moviegoer.

Mark Avo AKA Zendobot can usually be found reviewing comic books and picking out his favorite moments every week for “Five and Three” right here on Big Shiny Robot. You can also find him writing and inking The Salt City Strangers comic book or pretending he’s an expert for The Undead Soup Podcast (http://undeadsoup.com/undead2/). You can delight or even heckle him with your tweets @MarkAvo and he’ll be totally thrilled.

Image: Kevin Smith’s Tusk – A24 & Smodcast – Art by Francesco Francavilla – More at instagram.com/TuskTheMovie

Image: Kevin Smith’s Tusk – A24 & Smodcast – More at instagram.com/TuskTheMovie

NOAH (6 out of 10) –  Directed by Darren Aronofsky; written by Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel; starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Ray Winstone and Anthony Hopkins; rated PG-13; in general release; running time: 138 minutes.

Use of contemporary-sounding dialogue? Check. Use of denim, corrugated metal and other fabrics and materials that probably didn’t exist at the rumored time period? Check. Inconsistent accents and use of dialects? Check. Eschewing computer-generated imagery at times in favor of stop-motion animation and “organic” special effects? Check. Over-the-top performances and violent imagery? Check.

These things and many others firmly establish that “Noah” is not your parents’ … or your grandparents’ … Biblical movie epic. Instead, it’s a film that is very much a Darren Aronofsky production.

Which is to say that, like earlier Aronofsky efforts (his 1998 debut, “Pi,” 2006’s “The Fountain” and 2010’s “Black Swan,” in particular), the “historical”/action-fantasy features some strong performances, an intriguing visual aesthetic, and the type of grotesqueries that have come to typify the one-time Sundance savant’s cinematic oeuvre.

Keeping all that in mind, you can kind of see why so many people were (and still are) up in arms about the movie. It’s a cross between such earlier, bloated Hollywood “epics” as “The Ten Commandments” (1956) and “The Bible: In the Beginning” (1966), all the swords-and-sandals action-thrillers that have followed in the wake of 2000’s “Gladiator,” the Ray Harryhausen-produced “Sinbad” movie adventures and even recent cautionary environmental thrillers (like them, this film is not even trying to be slightly subtle about its “Green-ist,” conservationist messages).

And yet, it does all those things with a sly, sneaky smirk. Almost to a degree that it becomes insufferable. Yet it’s watchable and somewhat enjoyable, even as it defies your best efforts to either love or loathe it fully.  

Russell Crowe stars as the title character, who, in this version of the story, receives visions about a world-ending environmental disaster, a deluge and flood that will be brought on by God to wipe the face of the Earth of its greedy, brutish human population.

So Noah gathers the members of his family – his faith healer wife Naameh (Jennifer Connelly), sons Shem (Douglas Booth), Ham (Logan Lerman) and Japheth (Leo McHugh Carroll), and Ila (Emma Watson), a young woman Noah saved and “adopted” earlier – to build a giant wooden “ark” in which the many beasts can wait out/survive the deadly storm.

It’s a daunting task, but luckily Noah and his clan receive help from the “Watchers,” a race of stone-encrusted beings that actually turn out to be a group of “Fallen Angels.” While these “Watchers” have turned their back on most of the Earth’s population, they have decided to aid Noah to save the “innocent” animals.

Not everyone is thrilled to see Noah’s efforts, though. Despotic Tubal-cain (Ray Winstone) wants to seize the ark for himself and for his followers, and they may have the sheer numbers to overrun Noah and his “Watchers” allies.

Clearly Aronofsky and co-screenwriter Ari Handel (who collaborated with him on “Black Swan”) have taken “liberties” with the original Bible stories. However, they do try to reconcile some of the more unbelievable, contrived story elements, as well as add interesting character shadings – while trying to make their Save-the-Earth messages perfectly clear.

And the use of stop-motion animation effects for the “Watchers,” while a bit cheesy, doesn’t look as ridiculous as the sometimes-chintzy digital ones done for the animals.

Still, a lot of this movie rides on the performances, and Aronofsky was smart to re-team Crowe and Connelly (who were paired in Ron Howard’s incredibly overrated, Oscar-winning adaptation of “A Beautiful Mind,” as well as the already-forgotten “Winter’s Tale”) and young actors Watson and Lerman (2012’s underrated “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”).

And as good as Crowe and Connelly are (he’s especially compelling, even as he becomes more crazed and ruthless), it’s the latter duo who really add some needed emotional dynamics to the story. Her Ila is heart breaking as she mourns her inability to conceive, while his love-crazed Ham is perhaps the most sympathetic/relatable of the bunch.

Of course, there’s also a very welcome Anthony Hopkins, who steals scenes as Methuselah, Noah’s half-crazy, ancient grandfather. (And no, you’re not crazy, that is Nick Nolte as the voice of Samyaza, Noah’s closest “Watcher” ally.

Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

DISNEY MUPPETS MOST WANTED (7 out of 10) –  Directed by James Bobin, written by James Bobin and Nicholas Stoller; starring Ricky Gervais, Ty Burrell and Tina Fey, and featuring the voices of Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson and Matt Vogel; rated PG; in general release; running time: 112 minutes.

As refreshingly sweet and clever as 2011’s “Disney The Muppets” was, the musical-comedy wasn’t a completely original creation. In terms of its plot, it was very reminiscent of several earlier, getting/putting-the-band-back-together movies like “The Blues Brothers” (1980) and “Ghostbusters II” (1989) – especially the former.

Keeping that in mind, that must mean that its follow-up – the less-inspired, more gag- and spoof-centric comedy “Disney Muppets Most Wanted” – was clearly inspired by caper comedies like the “Ocean’s” films and the “Pink Panther” movies, right? It certainly has a lot in common with those movies, both in terms of its plotting and its style of humor.

Luckily, it is a lot more like the “Pink Panthers” that starred Peter Sellers than the ones that followed in the wake of his death, particularly the ghastly attempts to re-create those earlier films’ magic with a less-than-inspired Steve Martin in the Sellers role.

Again, “Most Wanted” is not quite as magical as its immediate predecessor, which took home well-deserved Oscar gold for its songs (courtesy New Zealand musician Bret McKenzie, of Flight of the Conchords fame), and which had more than enough universal appeal to win over cynical old fans of Jim Henson’s beloved puppet creations, as well as introduce them to a whole new audience.

And let’s face it, they’ve already done this type of story before, with the earlier cinematic feature “The Great Muppet Caper” (1981), which rivals this movie for laughs and fun moments. Still, it’s hard to come down completely on a movie that makes you smile as this one does at times.

While “The Muppets” focused part of its attention of a pair of human character (played by Jason Segel and Amy Adams), “Most Wanted” instead returns its attentions to its title characters. And as with “The Great Muppet Caper,” there are shenanigans involving identical twins. This time it’s Kermit the Frog (voiced again by longtime Muppets performer Steve Whitmire), rather than Fozzie Bear, who has a doppelganger.

Kermit’s lookalike is Constantine (the voice of Matt Vogel), an international jewel thief who eludes capture by shifting the blame to our unwitting amphibian hero, who has joined the rest of the Muppets on a European comeback tour. (The conniving Constantine evens “removes” his tell-tale mole and slaps it on Kermit’s face.)

The horrified frog protests his innocence to the authorities, including detective Jean Pierre Napoleon (“Modern Family’s” but Ty Burrell), he’s having a hard time convincing anyone human that he’s who he claims to be.  Meanwhile, Constantine is acting more than a little suspiciously and he’s having a hard time fitting in with the Muppet troupe. (Animal, in particular, isn’t buying into Constantine’s act.)

Without Segel and Adams as central characters, this film is missing that human element that gave its predecessor some needed warmth and more-relatable presences. To their credit, the “human” co-stars do have their fun with this material, though, especially Ricky Gervais, who’s clearly loving playing a bad guy (he plays Constantine’s henchman),Tina Fey (as a jailer) and Burrell, who clearly studied Sellers’ “Pink Panther” work in preparation for his role.

Co-screenwriter/director James Bobin also crams this one with cameos and bit parts, both credited and uncredited. Among the names: Tony Bennett, “Downton Abbey’s” Hugh Bonneville, Tom Hiddleston, James McAvoy, Lady Gaga, Saoirse Ronan, Sean “Puff Daddy” Combs, Rob Corddry, Ray Liotta, Danny Trejo, Frank Langella, Celine Dion, Salma Hayek and Christoph Waltz (the latter two playing themselves). It’s a bit of overkill, frankly.

And the tale is more relient on corny wordplay, jokes and puns – some of which are funny, but some of them are so terrible that even Muppets funny man Fozzie Bear would probably give them a half-hearted “wocka wocka wocka” at best. Having musician-turned-actor Usher Raymond play an usher? That’s awful. Just plain awful.

Additionally, the McKenzie-written songs and musical numbers aren’t quite as memorable this time out. “We’re Doing a Sequel,” which features Bennett and Lady Gaga, is nothing special, though “Interrogation Song” (featuring Burrell and Whitmire, as Kermit) is a hoot, and McKenzie’s Conchords co-hort, Jemaine Clement, does sing Boyz II Men’s hit “End of the Road” with Liotta and Trejo.

Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL (7 out of 10) –  Written and directed by Wes Anderson; starring Ralph Fiennes, Jude Law, Tony Revolori, Saoirse Ronan and F. Murray Abraham; rated PG-13; in general release; running time: 100 minutes.

As with every new Wes Anderson movie, the release of “The Grand Budapest Hotel” has been accompanied by an expected, hipster-ish level of backlash and negativity, as well as an almost embarrassingly effusive brand of hyperbolic praise.

A goofy, visually stunning comedy/murder mystery that perhaps deserves none of those things, it’s been called Anderson’s “best movie in years” – an inaccurate description that conveniently forgets both “Fantastic Mr. Fox” (2009) and “Moonrise Kingdom” (2012) were both quite good, and that the two, well-reviewed would be arguable career highlights for many a filmmaker.

It’s also been criticized for its perceived coldness and lack of warmth, its sometimes meandering plot and a cartoonish grotesqueness that recalls material from one of the Coen brothers’ dark comedies more than it does most of Anderson’s earlier cinematic output.

Both of those things probably make “Grand Budapest Hotel” worse than it actually is. While more flawed than you’d probably like, it’s still typically Anderson in several respects, including its semi-literary qualities, quotable lines of dialogue, several laugh-out-loud funny gags, its gorgeous production design and at least one very strong performance.

That performance, not too surprisingly, comes courtesy of the always watchable Ralph Fiennes, who stars as M. Gustave, the manager and concierge of the Grand Budapest Hotel. Set high in the mountains of a fictional, Eastern European country, the hotel often plays host to Europe’s wealthiest and most notable.

(While the film does skip around a bit, in terms of time period, the setting for this main section is between the two World Wars.)

Getting back to the charismatic, eager-to-please Gustave, he’s also a bit of a lothario who woos (and sometimes beds) his older clients, including the aging countess Madame D. (a nearly unrecognizable Tilda Swinton). But when she turns up dead, Gustave is the recipient of news of both the good and bad variety.

The countess’s lawyer, Deputy Kovacs (Jeff Goldblum), reveals the contents of her will, which provides at least one treasure/reward to Gustave — much to the dismay of her greedy, ruthless relatives, including Dmitri (Adrien Brody), who’s more than willing to pin the blame for her death on her much-younger lover, who doesn’t have a real alibi.

Despite his pleas of innocence, Gustave is imprisoned, though he plans his escape with help from Zero Moustafa (Tony Revolori), the hotel’s new lobby boy who quickly becomes his best, most trusted friend and protégé.

As with several of Anderson’s cinematic stories (“The Royal Tenenbaums” comes to mind), there are layers within layers to this one. F. Murray Abraham plays an older but not necessarily wiser version of Zero, who recounts his tale to a curious author and guest at the now-shabbier hotel. (Jude Law plays the younger version of that character. Tom Wilkinson, in turn, plays his older counterpart, who narrates, at least initially.)

And, as in keeping with an Anderson tradition, there are some big names and recognizable faces in small roles. (Among the more notable ones: Swinton and Wilkinson, as well as Mathieu Amalric, Bob Balaban, Willem Dafoe Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman and Owen Wilson.)

However, these guest bits actually prove to be a distraction, and a couple of characters don’t really get all the screen time they deserve – especially Saoirse Ronan, in her role as Zero’s beloved Agatha, an innovative pastry chef who proves crucial to Gustave’s prison-escape plan.

Fiennes proves to be the film’s strongest asset, and his scenes with promising newcomer Revolori are the obvious highlights. And both Abraham and Wilkinson are good choices as narrators, as their dry, deliberate line delivery styles make you forget how much exposition is in the script.

Speaking of which, the script has some coarser material, including more strong profanity and language, than you’d expect from the usually classier Anderson. And he can’t help focusing on a semi-pornographic piece of art that’s there for a cheap laugh. He’s better than that.

Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

NEED FOR SPEED (5 out of 10) –  Directed by Scott Waugh; written by George and John Gatins, based on the “Need for Speed” video game series; starring Aaron Paul, Dominic Cooper, Imogen Poots, Scott Mescudi and Michael Keaton; rated PG-13; in general release, playing in either 2D or 3D; running time: 130 minutes.

In all fairness, you can probably blame the “Fast and Furious” movies for setting a bad example and precedent. After all, each film in that blockbuster series has gotten progressively longer. The last one clocked in at a luxurious 130 minutes, which was also the length of last year’s Oscar winning historical/biographical drama “12 Years a Slave.”

By that standard, perhaps “Need for Speed” deserves a little slack, even if it, too, has a much-longer-than-it-needs-to-be-or-deserves 130-minute running time. However, the auto racing action-thriller meanders so much and takes so long to get its character and situations where they’re going you’ll be tempted to call it “Need for Judicious Editing” instead.

That’s not to say it’s lacking in the entertainment department. There are quite a few moments, such as several thrilling, “how’d-they-do-that?” racing sequences, that keep it from being an outright. But, given that the film is based on a video game series, you do have to wonder if its intended audience – one with supposed attention-deficiency problems – will be able to sit that long without some sense of discontentment and discomfort.

Aaron Paul (“Breaking Bad’s” Jesse Pinkman) stars as Tobey Marshall, a semi-professional auto racer and garage owner who’s had a long-simmering feud with the spoiled-rich Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper), a fellow racer who’s not only taken some big races and paydays away from Tobey, he’s also stolen his girl, Anita (Dakota Johnson).

One thing Tobey does have in his favor, though is a dedicated crew, made up of his pals eyes in the sky Benny (Scott “Kid Cudi” Mescudi), his eyes in the sky, Finn (Rami Malek), a clever tech guy, the resourceful Joe (Ramon Rodriguez), and Little Pete (Harrison Gilbertson), an up-and-coming racer who also happens to be Anita’s younger brother.

However, their already heated rivalry takes an even-nastier turn when the conniving Dino cheats to win a street race – with a questionable move that also results in Little Pete’s tragic death. By the time the authorities arrive, Dino is nowhere to be seen. So the shocked and distraught Tobey is blamed and jailed for his protégé’s death instead.

Years later, he’s paroled from prison but is still seeking revenge. It appears the best way to do that is by beating Dino in an illegal, high-stakes street race that’s being organized and run by the mysterious Monarch (Michael Keaton). And Tobey does have a killer car for the race: a Shelby Mustang that he and his crew built. The car’s grateful British owners agree to let Tobey drive it, as long as he has their agent, Julia Madden (Imogen Poots), along for the ride.

Unfortunately, Tobey only has two days to get to San Francisco for the race. Worse, Dino has put a bounty on his unknowing rival’s head, to make sure he never reaches his destination. 

Stuntman-turned-filmmaker Scott Waugh (“Act of Valor”) was a smart choice of director, in terms of the action scenes at least. He and veteran director of photography Shane Hurlbut keep the cameras at street-level, which gives audiences a front-row seat during the racing scenes, which are obviously the film’s selling point.

But he’s not able to do much with the idiotic script, which comes courtesy of first-timers scribes the Gatins brothers (George and John). Along with needless, ludicrous subplots, it’s gotten even-sillier dialogue and practically nonsensical characterizations. (For instance, why would Anita continue to stay with Dino after people blame him for the death of her brother?)

As for Paul, he’s all gravelly glowers as the film’s lead, while Cooper oozes so much smarm as his antagonist that he expect him to twirl his mustache for comic effect. Speaking of which, Poots (“That Awkward Moment”) deliberately exaggerates her already-broad accent, resulting in a curiously goofy performance that suggests she believes this is intended to be a live-action cartoon. Who knows, maybe she’s right in that regard.

Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

These days, it’s getting harder and harder to remember when Liam Neeson was an actor and not just another aging “action star.”

But you may recall that, 20 years ago, he was receiving his first Academy Award nomination, for his performance as the title character in the Oscar-winning “Schindler’s List” (1993). Though he lost that Best Actor race (to Tom Hanks, for “Philadelphia”), Neeson earned similar notices — and he probably should have been nominated for Oscar gold again — 10 years later for his turn as the title character in “Kinsey.”

And then “Taken” happened. The 2008 hit was good for what it was – a dopey revenge thriller that used Neeson’s forcefulness and no-nonsense performance to plow through some ridiculously contrived plotting.

Unfortunately, a series of action pieces followed. In addition to the better-forgotten “A-Team” (2010), there were two “Titans” duds, as well as “Unknown,” an idiotic 2011 mystery pairing him with Spanish director Jaume Collet-Serra (“House of Wax,” “Orphan”), and the even-more-idiotic sequel “Taken 2.”

An all-too-inevitable “three-quel” to that latter movie is already in development, which left Neeson time to reunite Collet-Serra for the new plane-heist thriller “Non-Stop.” And in the meantime, his “Taken” cohorts have tried to turn another middle-aged actor, Kevin Costner, into an action star, in “3 Days to Kill.”

Keeping that in mind, let’s compare the two movies – and the two aging action stars — while still trying to judge them on their own merits:

3 DAYS TO KILL (5 out of 10) Directed by McG; written by Luc Besson and Adi Hasak; starring Kevin Costner, Amber Heard, Hailee Steinfeld and Connie Nielsen; rated PG-13 (intense sequences of violence and action, some sensuality and language); in general release; running time: 117 minutes.

NON-STOP (3 out of 10) Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra; written by Ryan Engle, John W. Richardson and Chris Roach; starring Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, Scoot McNairy, Michelle Dockery and Linus Roache; rated PG-13 (intense sequences of action and violence, some language, sensuality and drug references); in general release; running time: 106 minutes.

A little humor can go a long ways toward salvaging a too-serious movie project. Unfortunately, “3 Days to Kill” goes a little too far in that regard.

Perhaps it’s because the filmmakers (who include action veteran Luc Besson) had a more “unproven commodity” than Neeson – you know, Costner, whose career has had quite a few ups-and-downs. He stars as Ethan Renner, a secret agent who’s on the cusp on retirement, and whose one, last goal in life is to reconcile with his estranged teenage daughter, Zoey (Hailee Steinfeld).

Ethan is given that opportunity when his ex-wife, Christine (Connie Nielsen), leaves town and leaves him in charge of Zoey. However, at the same time he’s given one, last assignment to perform: tracking down and killing the world’s most wanted terrorist.

To his credit, director McG tones down his customary, quick-cut style and actually creates some thrilling, convincing action scenes. But he has trouble when it comes to the domestic sequences, turning the daddy-daughter moments into madcap, over-the-top sitcom shenanigans.

Costner, though, does seem like he’s having fun with this character and this material, as does Steinfeld (“Ender’s Game,” “True Grit”).

“Non-Stop’s” nonsensical script comes courtesy of two reality-television writers, John W. Richardson and Chris Roach (“Big Brother”), and a relative newcomer, Ryan Engle. Given that both Richardson and Roach wrote for the “smack-the-contestants-in-the-face” snark-fest “Wipeout!” as well, there’s no reason for “Non-Stop” to take itself so seriously.

Yet it’s every bit as stone-faced as Neeson, who stars as Bill Marks, an alcoholic former cop who’s become a federal air marshal. Still trying to cope with his life’s tragedies, Marks is forced to sober up – literally – during a transatlantic flight (from London to New York). As it turns out, a mysterious hijacker is planning to kill passengers unless a $150 million ransom is deposited into an off-shore account.

But the only person who knows about this, at least is first, is Marks, whose phone keeps receiving a series of mysterious threats via text messaging.

It’s a simple enough set-up, but the screenwriters and Collet-Serra go to ridiculous extremes to “thrill” audiences. Actually, “ridiculous” isn’t a strong enough word – preposterous, maybe (especially the “reveal” of the extortionist/hijacker)? And most, if not all, of the opportunities for welcome humor are squandered.

And frankly, Neeson looks like even he’s a little bored by this material (though at least he tones down that silly “accent” he’s been sporting in his performances of late). His co-stars, who include not only Neeson’s “Chloe” co-star, Julianne Moore, but also Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o (“12 Years a Slave”), all look like they’re desperately trying to find the emergency exit.

Jeff Michael Vice can also be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), and can be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

Author’s note: This review of The Wind Rises is based on a subtitled version of the film for awards-season consideration, and not the dubbed version being released in U.S. theaters by Touchstone Pictures.

THE WIND RISES (8 out of 10) Written and directed by Hayao Miyazaki; dubbed, starring the voices of Joseph Gordon-Levitt, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Martin Short and Mandy Patinkin. In general release; rated PG-13 (some disturbing images and smoking); running time: 126 minutes.

The news that “The Wind Rises” would be the final animated feature from beloved writer/director Hayao Miyazaki was met with both sadness and horror.

That wasn’t just because it meant an end to the career of the maker of such non-classic favorites as “My Neighbor Totoro” (1988), “Princess Mononoke” (1997) and “Spirited Away” (2001), it was also a reminder of other veteran filmmakers who have gone out on a sour note. (Charlie Chaplin and his 1967 fiasco “The Countess from Hong Kong” comes to mind, as do John Ford’s 1966 swansong “7 Women” and  Stanley Kubrick’s 1999 dud “Eyes Wide Shut.”)

While the Oscar-nominated “Wind Rises” might not be his career masterpiece, it’s still up to Miyazaki’s high standards. It seems that if he really is retiring – recent statements suggest he may be reconsidering that decision – at least he’s gone out in the fashion of another Japanese filmmaker, Akira Kurosawa, who bowed out with the intensely personal 1993 drama “Madadayo.”

And make no mistake, this is a different beast than Miyazaki’s later, family friendly hits. It’s a bit on the slow side, it’s a bit too serious for its own good, and it concentrates on characters as much as it does the visuals. However, the good news is that the film is a flawed but still very enjoyable flight of fancy.

An animated historical/biographical drama with fantasy elements, “The Wind Rises” is (very) loosely based on the real-life experiences of Jiro Horikoshi, an aeronautical engineer who worked for Japan’s Mitsubishi Corp. before and after World War II.

In this version of events, which were also told in Miyazaki’s early manga version, Jiro fell in love with airplanes and flying at any early age, but poor eyesight kept him from pursuing a career as a pilot. So, inspired by the efforts of an Italian engineer, Giovanni Battista Caproni, he concentrates on airplane design, using such “organic” elements as fish bones as their basis.

Together, with a childhood friend, Honjo, Jiro hopes to make his country’s aeronautical industry a rival – or even better – to those of other countries, including the supposed industry titan, Germany.

The film also looks at Hirokoshi’s personal life and other defining experiences. Having survived the disastrous Great Banto Earthquake of 1923, which decimated Japan’s Nihonbashi district, he made the acquaintance of the two Sakomi sisters, who would play an important role in his life. Years later, he falls for a now-grown Nahoko, and marries her, in spite of her debilitating case of tuberculosis.

As always, Miyazaki uses as much cel animation (the traditional, 2D painted format of cartooning) as humanly possible here. As a result, this film looks every bit as good as any of the other Miyazaki classics. He’s even found a way to improve on the breathtaking flying sequences of his underrated 1992 hit, “Porco Rosso.” It’s at these times that the film really takes off and soars.

(Among the best parts are the encounters between Horikoshi and Caproni. Though in real life they never met, “The Wind Rises” supposes that they met on a fantasy “plain,” where the two men could share their visions of what planes should look like and being used for, and where they could show off their designs to each other.)

And again, while the tone of this piece varies — at times it’s wide-eyed fantasy, and at others it turns tragic and sad – everything is done with a surprising gentleness, tenderness and affection. Outside of the better Pixar efforts and the recent “LEGO Movie,” it’s the best testament to the strengths and powers of animated filmmaking and storytelling.

Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

ROBOCOP (3 out of 10) Directed by José Padilha; written by Joshua Zetumer, based on characters created by Michael Miner and Edward Neumeier; starring Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish and Jackie Earle Haley; rated PG-13 (intense sequences of action including frenetic gun violence throughout, brief strong language, sensuality and some drug material); in general release, playing in either 35mm or the 70mm IMAX format; running time: 118 minutes.

By Jeff Michael Vice

The question at hand isn’t how the people responsible for the “RoboCop” remake come up with such a bloodless movie. After all, they did fill this PG-13 rated ”re-imagining” of the beloved, 1987 science-fiction/thriller with as much violent content as they possibly could, while still getting that more “family friendly” and supposedly more profitable rating from the MPAA.

No, the question at hand is: How did the people responsible for the “RoboCop” remake come up with such a truly bloodless movie? Not only is this version of the story nearly completely lacking in the graphic gore and other gruesome moments that made the original “RoboCop” so memorable, it’s also completely lacking in any genuine warmth and human emotion.

That might be excusable if it had even a whiff of the original film’s off-kilter goofiness and darkly cynical humor. Instead, this film is entirely too serious for its own, and, worse, it attempts to graft clumsy, ham-fisted messages about the perils of technology, artificial intelligence and gun control onto the concept – which was drawn various, uncredited sources (among other things, the “Frankenstein” mythos, Marvel’s “Deathlok” comics and author Fred Pohl’s classic science-fiction novel “Man Plus”).

The resulting film is an early frontrunner for the biggest disappointment of 2014. It’s a cold, sterile, plastic film creation that’s every bit as robotic as its title character.

Speaking of whom, Swedish actor Joel Kinnaman stars as Alex Murphy, a good, honest Detroit detective and family man who is badly burned and injured, and who is left barely alive after a car bombing. (The assassination attempt was a retaliatory action by a gun runner that Alex and his partner were investigating.)

As it turns out, the gun runner, Antoine Vallon (Patrick Garrow), was tipped off by a pair of Murphy’s fellow cops, and the comatose, amputee Alex is now powerless to do anything about the situation. Enter OmniCorp, a technology company and arms manufacturer that’s owned by the ruthless Raymond Sellars (Michael Keaton).

Sellars and other company officials have convinced Alex’s wife, Clara (Abbie Cornish), to use her husband as a test subject, for an experiment that will turn him into a half-human, half-robot police officer – the first of many if it works.

And Sellars even has his top scientist, Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman), working on the project, which works a little too well – within days, Alex, now known as RoboCop, is cleaning up the crime-ridden streets of Detroit with “extreme prejudice.” Clara and Alex’s young son, David (John Paul Ruttan), are horrified to see their loved one turned into a seemingly emotionless killing machine.

All the parts were in place for an entertaining “Robo re-do.” It was directed by Brazilian filmmaker José Padilha, whose “Elite Squad” hit cop thrillers proved he had the right style and a flair for staging convincing action scenes. Though that only calls into question how much control he had over this particular movie. (Various production reports detailed Padilha’s battle with the studio over the story and content.)

It doesn’t help that the awful script, courtesy of newcomer Joshua Zetumer, that’s full of cutesy, designed-to-pluck-at-your-heartstrings moments. That doesn’t excuse Padilha from blame, however. At times the film’s action scenes look like they were taken from a first-person-shooter video games. (Only you can’t control the action, which is unfortunate.)

And Kinnaman, so magnetic on AMC’s “The Killing,” simply goes through the motions in his first major U.S. film starring role.

Meanwhile, the talented supporting cast is badly misused. Award-winning stage actress Jennifer Ehle has little to do as Sellars’ subordinate, Marianne Jean-Baptiste is an afterthought as Murphy’s boss, Jay Baruchel gets to wear a beard but offers few of his customary wisecracks as an OmniCorp marketing guru, and Michael K. Williams (HBO’s “The Wire”) barely registers as Murphy’s detective partner.

At least they fare better than youngster Ruttan, who’s a major irritant, as is Samuel L. Jackson, in a role as a right-wing propagandist/news talk show host.

Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).