Chappie (4 out of 10) – Directed by Neil Blomkamp; Written by Neil Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell; Starring Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackmans; Rated R for violence, language and brief nudity; 120 minutes.

“Chappie” is a heartwarming wreck of a story about a reconstructed Police Scout Robot (portrayed by the always really weird and interesting Sharlto Copley) that has a new AI program uploaded into his digital brain by well-intentioned robot engineer Deon (Dev Patel doing his best Fisher Stevens impersonation). He is then hunted down by the evil robot engineer (played gleefully by Hugh Jackman) because of some moral thing about AIs being evil and him being Catholic and stuff. I really don’t know, that is all glossed over. And that is the problem with the whole movie.

For instance, it also stars Die Antwoord, the super strange South African rap-rave group, and they don’t sing or anything. Also, Die Antwoord can’t act. Sigourney Weaver turns in the blandest performance of her career (and she was in “The Village”) as a clueless head of a technology corporation who doesn’t see any value in having a major breakthrough in Artificial Intelligence research. Hugh Jackman sports a minimalist mullet-like haircut, just because. Anderson Cooper shows up briefly at the beginning in a fake news story and then never shows back up.

It is the kind of movie that makes a whole bunch of promises at the beginning about the kind of story that it is going to be and then decides to be something else entirely. For no reason whatsoever. 

In fact, “Chappie” is like an extended Die Antwoord Music Video except without any of the music.

Seriously, it is just a mess. An unmitigated mess. A huge, frightening mess. It is no wonder that director Neil Blomkamp signed so quickly to do “Alien 5”. This is the kind of movie that can kill big budget tent-pole careers. 

There was a point early in the movie – during the birth of Chappie scene, when he was in effect first created – that an undefined evil joy came over me as I realized that this movie was going to be flat out no excuses awful. This “Wake Up” scene was supposed to be full of wonder and discovery, with Chappie first coming online and experience the beauty and strangeness of the world, but instead it wasn’t any of that. It was laugh out loud ridiculous, but the camera work and the background music and the editing told us that it was moving and meaningful.

Sensibility wise, it is kinda like a mash-up of “Being There” and “Reservoir Dogs” but with robots and explosives. And it is not a mix that works in any way at all. As far as scripting goes it  is really just a series of action beats, plot points, and marginal exposition. There are no real characters in the movie, just roles. Plot facilitators.

In vision and scope it is ambitiously mediocre, which allows it to end up being unredeemingly bad. It wants to be a comedy, but it also wants to be grim social commentary, yet it also wants to be big budget breathless action blockbuster. And it just doesn’t work. 

Could it be that Blomkamp has no knowledge of the long, long history of similarly themed movies over the last 50 years, like “Short Circuit”, or “Robocop”, or ‘Iron Giant”? All effortlessly better movies. He has to, and to have not learned anything from any of those movies is near unimaginable, yet here we are.

Let’s hope that Blomkamp has learned something from this endeavor, and hires real writers for “Alien 5”. And is saddled with some stone cold killer studio producers to ride herd on him.

As much as we say we don’t want our films to be made in that kind of environment, sometimes it is a good thing, because he is a truly gifted visual stylist who knows how to shoot action and integrated effects pieces. That is not an easy skill to master. He just needs to learn that story has to come first, Once he does that, then he can probably do anything.

In the meantime, don’t see “Chappie” at the theater. Wait for it to be on Netflix, which should happen quickly, or on Amazon Prime. And then watch it slowly, in pieces, over multiple frustrated and interrupted viewings.

Autómata (8 out of 10) Directed by Gabe Ibáñez; written by Gabe Ibáñez, Igor Legarreta, Javier Sánchez Donate; starring Antonio Banderas, Birgitte Hjort Sørensen, Dylan McDermott; rated R (violence, language and some sexual content); in limited release and on VOD; running time: 109 minutes.

I have several soft spots when it comes to movies. These are the kinds of movies that I readily default to feeling positive and supportive about. Smart Sci-fi is one of them, and ambitious low-ish budget filmmaking is another (we won’t go into how much I love schlocky cheapos right now). “Autómata” is both (the first two).

At an estimated production budget of approximately $15M, Director Gabe Ibáñez and his crew smartly create a real feeling world, one that is in fast decline, but not completely gone. They take what are stock locations in Asylum/SyFy type productions and dress them up and shoot them in a way that makes them feel more than just old abandoned industrial warehouse space.

The movie follows Jacq Vaucan (played by the still active and committed Antonio Banderas), an insurance investigator for a Robotics Company. His job is to dig into claims against the company when their product malfunctions. Their product being Robots.

All robots follow two prime type protocols; they cannot harm humans or allow humans to harm themselves, and they cannot alter or repair themselves.  So most of his cases involve people trying to scam the company by blaming their robot servants. Until he stumbles upon a case that isn’t as easily resolved; reports of a robot that has been self-repairing.

And from there the story starts to go deep as it shows the last gasps of a dying species, while a new life form is fighting to step out of the ooze and start their lives.

The production design is spare and convincing. This is a gritty, decaying, sweaty world with real sadness underneath. A world with a touch of desperation under its tired skin. A world that has given up on living. It is the world of “Bladerunner” come to real life. It is full of acid rain at night, heat and dust during the day. The people are all fully realized. This is a well thought out society, and so much is gotten across just by implication, without having to explain it with clumsy exposition heavy dialogue.

As the story opens up and the smart robots become less of a plot device, we really get to see that, as characters, the robots are as fully realized as the people, Not quite human, but evocative enough that you can see the inspiration, even while they are becoming something completely else and new.

“Autómata”, in a general sense, shares a lot of broad theme similarities to the big dumb Will Smith Actioner “I, Robot”. Except it knows what it is talking about, whereas “I, Robot” was just an excuse to stage some CG car chases and a dizzying finale on top of a sky scraper. “Autómata” is what “I, Robot” could only dream about being – a smart, sparse, sophisticated character drama about the advent of AI and what happens next, with enough tensions and conflict to make the stakes feel important.

I don’t think it is for everybody, but if you have an abiding interest in smart science fiction, the singularity, AI, and the eventual fall of man as a dominating intelligence, then this is certainly worth your time.

“Have you ever considered just how fortunate you are?”

JOHN WICK (7 out of 10) Directed by David Leitch and Chad Stahelski; written by Derek Kolstad; starring Keanu Reeves, Michael Nyqvist, and Alfie Allen; rated R (strong and bloody violence throughout, language and brief drug use); in limited release; running time: 101 minutes.

Let me be clear way up front here, because it might impact how you take this review, I am a Keanu Reeves apologist. If I have the choice to see Keanu acting blandly or Brad Pitt acting blandly, I will always choose Keanu, because I believe that his role choices are always better considered than the ones that Pitt makes. Rather, I think Keanu’s choices are based on what he is passionate about and what he wants to do, while Pitt’s are based on what he thinks will move his career forward or garner him critical credibility. The fact that Reeves is actively pursuing a third “Bill & Ted” movie, I think, shows where his creative heart is more than anything Pitt has done. And I really, really want to see a third “Bill & Ted”.

Having said all of that, and in the interest of full disclosure, I am not a big fan of these kinds of brutal, cynical, conscienceless anti-hero, revenge-type fantasies. There was a long run of these in the late 80s to mid 90s that were just mind-numbingly bleak. Usually starring bland white American former models, who would spend the time they weren’t killing people indiscriminately by drowning out their sorrows with a bottle of Jack Daniels. “John Wick” pretty much follows this model exactly, even to the point where a good chunk of the plot feels like it was lifted whole from the funniest plot point in “Lone Wolf McQuade”. So, I was a bit apprehensive in going into this film, uncertain where my loyalties would fall on the other end of the screening.

I shouldn’t have been worried, Keanu still knows how to pick them.

“John Wick” follows our titular hero who has just lost his wife and still hasn’t quite come to terms with it. In the midst of his mourning, a package arrives at his home containing the cutest little puppy in the history of the world; a last gift from his dear departed wife to remind him that he has something to live for. He and the (so incredibly cute that there should be laws) puppy quickly warm up together and decide to go out and spend the day doing death defying tricks in his tricked out car (I don’t know anything about cars, so can’t tell you what it was, though, in the film they referred to it reverently like people would recognize it).

And this is where the story really gets started. John runs into some unsavory characters at a gas station that easily switch between Bro-style English, and Portent-filled Russian. They wanna buy the car, but it is not for sale. A meaningful look passes between them, and then they let John go about his day.

From there on out the film basically kicks into hyperdrive, as the tables are reset and Keanu demonstrates his Gun-fu chops by showing everyone how to go from zero to 100 in less than 101 minutes of screen time.

Like I said, I don’t like these kinds of films, but the filmmakers have somehow managed to deliver a tribute to those types of movies, while also giving it a kind of fun, goofy energy that all of the others didn’t even know existed. I don’t know if it is the unstoppable momentum of the film, or the brilliant decision to keep the mopey-ness to a minimum, but the movie works. Once the starter gun is fired, the action is go go go.

I would’ve liked to understand a bit more about the underlying world – there has been some real time invested in world building here, which you never see in these types of movies. Underlying social structure and character histories are usually either ignored or glossed over so superficially that they rarely bring anything new to the format, but here, it all lends to a really engaging and entertaining background that opens up interest in possible sequels, just to explore the rest of this world. One such instance was Ian McShane’s mysterious character who had probably less than 2 minutes of screen time, but impacted everything that happened in the film.

In addition to all of this, the action choreography was just really solid. Wide shots for the most part allowing the viewer to keep a decent perspective on the physical geography. A minimum of hyperactive shaky cam, and a reliance on practical effects (except, probably the exploding blood effects from the too many to count shots to the head). And the script was tight, and knew how to keep the action moving, but still lighten things up when the weight of the plot got too heavy.

This is the kinda movie I like to refer as a crossover movie – fun to see in the theater, equally fun to watch at home. Not pretentious, but smart enough to know how to rise above its limitations.

“John Wick” opens October 24, 2014. Catch it hopefully at your local multi-plex.

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2  – Directed by Marc Webb, written by Alex Kurtzman, Roberto Orci, and Jeff Pinkner; starring Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Jamie Foxx, Sally Field, Chris Cooper, Dane DeHaan; rated PG-13 (for sequences of sci-fi/action violence); in wide release 5/3/14; running time: 142 minutes.

Yesterday (Wednesday, April 30), a handful of us Big Shiny Robots were fortunate to attend an advanced screening of “The Amazing Spider-Man 2”. Despite several lukewarm reviews, we really enjoyed the Marc Webb-directed sequel, and we just happened to have an audio recorder on hand. Tyson, host of the Big Shiny Podcast!, Tom, panelist on the Big Shiny Podcast! and host of the Entertainment is Dead podcast, and Lance “Chuck”, panelist on the Entertainment is Dead podcast, took some time to record their initial thoughts on the film – a “flash review”, if you will.

Check out the 20 min. audio review of “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” on iTunes or the Stitcher widget below, and be sure to share your thoughts on the film in the comments!

Also, co-founder of Big Shiny Robot!, Lucas and Bryan, tackled a review of “The Amazing Spider-Man 2” together, and you can check that out here!

THE LEGO MOVIE (10 out of 10) Animated feature based on the popular construction-toys line, co-written and co-directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller; starring the voices of Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Ferrell, Will Arnett and Morgan Freeman; rated PG (mild action and rude humor); in general release, playing in either 2D or 3D; running time: 101 minutes.

By Jeff Michael Vice

It would not only be silly, it also would be unrealistic and irresponsible to say that “The LEGO Movie” is the film that will finally end Pixar’s virtual stranglehold on both the big-screen animation industry and the kids film market.

However, this digitally animated action-comedy does provide further evidence that the divide between Pixar and its competition is getting very narrow – that, in terms of creativity and sheer art, the playing field has been leveled to a large degree. While the most recent Pixar features have been competent and less inspired, other studios and other creators are stepping up their game, and are using the Pixar model to make films that rival some of its best efforts.

Make no mistake about it, in several respects, “The LEGO Movie” is every bit as good as a Pixar movie, either the newer ones or even the older classics. It’s got the right combination of laughs, action and human drama – at least as much as any of those movies had. Seriously, the “Toy Story” films, which many still consider the Pixar high-water mark, have nothing on this one.

And fittingly enough, it comes from a construction-toy line that encourages creativity and out-of-the-box thinking — managing to live up to those standards and qualities. As such, it could be a “Toy Story” for a new generation.

In addition to being a feast for the visual and other senses, it’s got a first-rate voice cast. That includes “Parks and Recreation” co-star Chris Pratt, who stars as the voice of Emmet Brickowski, a seemingly ordinary LEGO mini-figure. Part of a construction work force that builds nondescript but functional structures throughout his generic-looking and sounding hometown, Emmet is content to live his somewhat humdrum existence – while trying to make a few, likeminded friends with whom he can share his precious free time.

That is, until he meets Wyldstyle (the voice of Elizabeth Banks). She’s a rabble-rousing, would-be “MasterBuilder” who’s looking for an elusive missing piece – part of a prophesy that was uttered by legendary holy man Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman). But when Emmet finds the piece instead, she and the other “MasterBuilders” become convinced that he is the key to their efforts to stop the tyrannical Lord Business (Will Ferrell).

Emmet, though, remains unconvinced and reluctant to help. But he’ll need to make up his mind soon. Within days, Lord Business plans to use the “Kragle,” a secret weapon with which he can stifle unwanted creativity, by gluing this LEGO universe’s people, objects and vehicles together permanently.

Obviously, we’ve seen this deceptively simple-looking type of animation work for various LEGO short films, cartoons and video games. But this film is a much more ambitious effort, using digital construction techniques, live-action modeling and even some strictly live-action elements to create a world unlike almost anything we’ve ever seen on the big screen. (This is one of the very few films that might actually be improved with 3D viewings, if available.)

And the studio and the LEGO company officials who licensed their material made the right choice of filmmakers with co-screenwriters/co-directors Phil Lord and Lord Miller, who managed to improve on the source material with their animated adaptation of “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” (2009) and even made the 2012 “21 Jump Street” movie adaptation more fun than it had any right to be. (Fans of TV’s “How I Met Your Mother” might also remember the duo for their efforts as show runners for that long-running sitcom.)

Here, they fill their story with so many sight gags and clever verbal puns that you’ll probably need further viewings just to take it all in. For “Star Wars” fans, there’s a bit that gives and vocal parts for Billy Dee Williams and Anthony Daniels, reprising their roles as Lando Calrissian and C-3PO.

Elsewhere, Shaquille O’Neal (who voices himself), William Shakespeare (Jorma Taccone) Abraham Lincoln (Will Forte) and various “Lord of the Rings,” “Harry Potter,” “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” and DC Comics characters — including Superman (Channing Tatum), Green Lantern (Jonah Hill) and Wonder Wonder (Cobie Smulders) – pop up briefly, for silly gags that amuse and progress the story. And a LEGO version of Batman, voiced by Will Arnett, even turns out to be a fairly integral character in the story.

Add to that a memorably wacky score by Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh and musical contributions from the Lonely Island crew (including a deliberately noxious but catchy song, “Everything is Awesome,” that will stick in your head for days after). The best of these, though, might be a Batman musical number co-written by Arnett, Lord, Miller and Mothersbaugh. Really, you have to hear it to believe it.

So, again, it might seem like overhype to be praising this movie to this degree. But it’s a film that adults, children and both toy and movie lovers can enjoy equally.  

Also, it may seem ridiculous to declare a movie that opens in February as an Academy Award frontrunner for next year, especially since the previous year’s Oscars haven’t even been announced yet. But this film does set the bar precariously high for any other big-screen cartoons that will follow it for the next 10 months.

Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).

HER (10 out of 10) Written and directed by Spike Jonze; starring Joaquin Phoenix, Amy Adams, Rooney Mara, Chris Pratt and the voice of Scarlett Johansson; rated R (language, sexual content and brief graphic nudity); in general release; running time: 126 minutes.

By Jeff Michael Vice

If you’ve ever said that you love your cellular telephone device before … Or if you’ve ever said that you love your laptop (or personal) computer before … Or if you’ve ever said that you love your video game system before … Or even if you’ve ever said that you love someone with whom you’ve been having an online relationship before, “Her”is the movie for you.

Well, the science-fiction/romantic comedy-drama is also for anyone who appreciates smart, thought-provoking and adventurous filmmaking — as well as those who have experienced the pain of traumatic personal relationships. (And who hasn’t, really?)

Distributor Warner Bros. has been (smartly) advertising the film, which launched in New York, Los Angeles and other major markets in December, as a presumptive Oscars-consideration campaign, as “A Spike Jonze Love Story.” And that really should tell you everything to know about it, especially if you’re acquainted with the works of oddball filmmaker and occasional “Jackass” collaborator Jonze (“Adaptation.”, “Being John Malkovich,” “Where the Wild Things Are”).

Well, that statement does leave out one other, very important fact: This film, in particular, has more heart and poignancy than anything that Jonze has done so far.

This time, he is working from one his own scripts, rather than those penned by either Charlie Kaufman or novelist Dave Eggers (his previous collaborators on those aforementioned movies). “Her” follows a lonely professional letter writer, Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix), who’s having trouble moving on from his last relationship.

Things between Theodore and his college sweetheart, Catherine (Rooney Mara, “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo”), soured and now she’s asking for a divorce. But he’s clinging onto their better past, and is refusing to sign the papers. That is, until he “meets” his new, interactive operating system, which has taken the name Samantha (voiced by Scarlett Johansson).

Programmers have created OSes like Samantha to react intuitively to their users’ needs, and to “learn” and “mature” in response to their working relationship. However, Samantha proves to be more than just an OS to Theodore, suddenly finds himself spending all of his time with her — talking for hours on end and actually returning to having a “social life,” albeit a very unconventional one.

His friends and co-workers (including one played by a very welcome Chris Pratt) have very different reactions to Theodore’s announcements about his newfound “love,” which leads to further complications with the divorce proceedings.

Yes, it’s a truly odd premise, but the film scores points with its observations about the perils of “traditional” relationships, as well as the ones about our technological dependence. It’s a uniquely thoughtful and moving experience, and it’s perhaps Jonze’s best work to date.

And admittedly, it’s easy to get caught up in the film’s peculiarities and a few of Jonze, art director Austin Gorg and production designer K.K. Barrett’s stylistic quirks (most of the characters in this near-future tale are very hipsterish in their behavior and looks, and it has a score by Canadian hipsters The Arcade Fire).

Fortunately, his cast helps ground things when they get really out there. That’s particularly true of the back-on-his-game Phoenix, who’s fresh off a similarly strong performance in 2011’s “The Master,” and who really sells this far-fetched story. As Theodore, he’s a bit of a kook, but not to the point that he’s creepy or completely unrelatable.

Elsewhere, Phoenix’s “Master” co-star brings some added, live-action performance depth in support as a long-time friend of Theodore who’s also going through some similar experiences. (Refreshingly, their relationship story arc doesn’t go where you may be expecting … spoiler alert!)

And, getting back to live-action performances, if that’s what the Academy Awards voters are going to reward each year, they may need to create a new acting category that’s strictly for voice performers like Johansson. As Samantha, she’s equal parts sexiness, shyness, naïveté and wry charm, which isn’t easy with this kind of role.

(One other bit of interesting trivia: Johansson was actually Jonze’s second choice for the film’s trickiest part, the title role. British actress Samantha Morton, of “Minority Report” fame, was originally cast and voiced the “virtual” character through most of the production, before being replaced shortly before its completion. But you’d never guess, as Johansson and Phoenix have a vocal compatibility and a unique chemistry that should have proved impossible, given the circumstances.)

Jeff Michael Vice, aka Jerk-bot, can be heard reviewing films, television programs, comics, books, music and other things as part of The Geek Show Podcast (www.thegeekshowpodcast.com), as well as be seen reviewing films as part of Xfinity’s Big Movie Mouth-Off (www.facebook.com/BigMovieMouthOff).