In this episode, the Laser Brain crew perform the first episode of their new radio-theater project, ‘Dream Detectives’. They delve into the origins of Rory’s sleep rumors, leprechaun sitings, the next up and coming Christian Mall Pop sensations, and they start writing the best damn Big Shiny Robot ads imaginable.
It goes without saying you need to listen to this episode, just like all the rest, right now!
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Laser Brain would like you to check out these links!
This Month’s Big Shiny Podcast Features:
Arse-bot, Zombietron, Mexicus Prime, Kill-Tacular-Tron, Vagatron, and guest ‘caster, Thomy from Night Flight Comics!
Another month, another clusterfuck podcast along with some special shout-outs in the beginning to some faithful listeners!
This month the Big Shiny Podcasters discuss some DD news, Bungie whooping some idling ass, and other geek news from the month of June! We also spend a majority of our time bickering over whether or not X-Men: First Class was a good movie or not and discussing all of the latest and greatest comic offerings!
It’s your usual monthly dose of geekery and debauchery for your listening enjoyment!
Listen:
MAD Magazine has been a staple for satire and parody for over half a century. Recently, the usual gang of idiots started up their own blog. It has a lot of what you’d expect, past highlights, current stuff, and random idiocy. One thing I expected was previews of the current issue, and they didn’t disappoint. What did surprise me (in a good way), is the way they’re going about it.
This month’s issue, #510 features one of MAD’s famous movie parodies, featuring who else, Green Lantern. I think this is interesting in a couple of ways, first it’s nice to know that Warner as a company doesn’t have a problem with making fun of itself, seeing as they own MAD, DC, and of course Warner Pictures, so it’s a trifecta of incestuous humor. The peerless artwork of Tom Richmond also sets this apart. Have a sneak peek at The Green Lunkhead!
While this is really cool (the background Lunkheads being the most inspired), the MAD blog also offers a rare look at the original pencils for this double page spread. While it’s pretty similiar, there is a pretty significant difference in “Hack Boredom’s” ring construct…
Oh MAD, how I wish you were ballsy enough to use the one-fingered salute in the final artwork. MAD #510 is due on shelves June 29th, reserve yours today!
Apparently, there are a bunch of movie studios out there looking to turn old board games into films, including Risk, Candyland, and Battleship. Believe it or not, Battleship is actually currently in post-preduction and is due out next year – and somehow they got Liam Neeson to star in it along side Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker and Rihanna. Yeah, I can’t figure that one out either, but I digress. . .
The latest board game to be put on the track to movie obscurity theaters is the board game Risk. If for some reason you don’t remember this game – or have just never played it – it’s “the game of world domination” in which players try to take over the world with their armies doing battle by rolling dice. Or, as I remember it, “the game of losing friends because the same game has gone on for six weeks now while one of your asshole friends has holed up in Australia with a massive army and refuses to surrender despite the fact he is only prolonging the inevitable”, seriously, give it up Jimmy, you dick!
In any case, looks like Columbia Pictures has hired John Hlavin (The Shield, Underworld: New Dawn) to pen this “Cold War-era action thriller”:
Screenwriter John Hlavin is angling for world domination — in the form of the classic Parker Brothers board game Risk.
Columbia Pictures is developing an action thriller based on the Cold War-era strategy game, in which players form armies and use them to attack the territories belonging to other players, and the studio is hiring Hlavin to pen the adaptation. The game, now owned by Hasbro (also home of Transformers and G.I. Joe–both at Paramount), was launched in the 1950s by French filmmaker Albert Lamorisse (The Red Balloon). –THR
What? Columbia Pictures should save some of that money in their budget and just hire me to write the screenplay for Risk, I would do it for five dollars. As an aspiring film-writer guy who writes down drunken ideas on a napkin in a bar, this is how I would tackle this film:
The film opens up, Ang Lee split-screen style, four world leaders are looking at a map of the world from the war-room in their respective home countries, each planning for world domination. As the film goes on, battles take place all over the world as these leaders strategically position and advance their armies around the globe with their forces growing in numbers with each country they take over. Over the course of several years and seemingly never-ending battles, one leader has taken over the entire world – except for the island of Australia where one leader with an army the island can barely support makes his final stand. The final six hours of the film will be the would-be world conquerer sending wave after wave of men into Australia slowly chipping away at this coward’s numbers of men in battle sequences in the style of Lord of the Rings, The Matrix, Saving Private Ryan, and Shoot ’em Up. As Australia is finally overwhelmed and taken over, the new President of the World sits back in his chair and lights up a cigar in victory as celebrations occur in the streets outside his palace – but he doesn’t seem 100% pleased, and this is where we discover the twist! SPOILER ALERT: It turns out that these four men vying for world domination were once friends. But now their not. Because the game of world domination makes you lose friends because assholes named Jimmy just build an army in Australia, cornering themselves for the entire game but managing to build a pile of armies that takes forever to conquer. This is a bullshit game, and no one likes it.
Boom. Done. I just wrote the outline for a movie based on the board game, Risk. Total movie run-time: 47 hours.
You’re welcome Hollywood.
It’s a brand spanking new episode of Laser Brain! In this episode (Episode 21 by most accounts) the boys all agree Jimmy shouldn’t get married, we learn that the Rapture did actually happen, but just to Patrick, so he deemed it the “Pature”. They also read some short stories written by a young handicapped child Tristan, and we are all treated to the usual and hilarious debauchery Nick, Tristan and Patrick bring us with just a touch of Savage Garden.
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Also, be sure to check out Tristan’s kickstarter page for his short horror film, Psychesthenia! All donations are greatly appreciated!
“He doesn’t use the Force because the Force uses him. He is…the Most Interesting Geek In The Galaxy.”
GeekToMe on Twitter has created a page inspired by the Dos Equis “The Most Interesting Man in the World” commercials. However, his site takes “The Most Interesting” idea in a whole new direction and focuses on geeks. He began with his own hilarious ideas and then began accepting submissions from Twitter with the hashtag #mostinterestinggeek. You can see the entire list at Geek To Me.
It would be remiss of me not to mention that he even included my own submission: “He was on Alderaan when it blew up . . . and survived.” (via @yodaprncss) (yes, I know . .. sheer genius!)
Though the submissions are primarily Star Wars-related, geeks of other fandoms have not been neglected. Star Trek, Firefly, Dune, and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also make appearances.
I know the Dos Equis commercials usually get a chuckle out of me, but these submissions are truly inspired.
I will leave you with one more gem from the page: “He never has to go to Toshi Station to pick up his power converters. They deliver to him.”
Laser Brain Podcast – Episdode 19 – Part 1
This week, Patrick gets one over on the WKU Testing Staff, Tristan tries to have a serious conversation about pornography, and Nick pitches his own film ideas.
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Be sure to check out Tristan’s kickstarter page!
Here are some new stills from the upcoming first part of the final chapter of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn.
Now, if you are a frequent reader of this site, you probably know that hardly any of us bots here care for Twilight, especially me. So, you may be asking yourself, “Arse-bot – if that is your real name (spoiler alert: it’s not.) – why do you continue to post this stuff if you have so much hatred for this series and everything to do with it?” Well, the answer is simple: I find pleasure in belittling this travesty of a “vampire”/”werewolf”/mopey girl love story and quenching myself on the tears of those who try to defend it.
That being said, if I were to ever see an installment of this series in theaters, it would be this one. If for no other reason than to see how the studio handles Edward *&$#ing Bella into a sex-coma and knocking her up, giving her a c-section with his teeth, and then having Jacob turn into a pedophile and falling in love with their child (a transformation that, if you ask me, is much more convincing).
By now, if you’re reading this and are a Twilight fan, I’m sure you’re worked up into a frenzy and are about to leave a comment about how “dumb” I am and that you will never be coming back to Big Shiny Robot and that Twilight is an epic love story and blah blah blah blah blah. If you wouldn’t mind doing me one favor before you leave this site forever and erase it from your cache and history just to ensure there was no evidence you were ever even here: Please explain to me why two supernatural beings that could probably have any woman in the world are wasting their time fighting over a mopey 17 year old girl? I mean, if I was a 100+ year old vampire I think my taste in women may have grown past, “You know what I look for in a woman? I want her to be young, immature, super clingy and depressed as all hell with a shit-ton of emotional baggage.”
Anyway, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 comes out sometime this year – I’m not sure. I know it’s not this weekend because a good movie comes out this weekend. THOR!
Feel free to leave your hatred in text-form below.
For all of you out there waiting for the conclusion of the saga revolving around Tristan’s penis, wait no more!!
Laser Brain Podcast – 05/03/11
In this episode Tristan completes the epic tale of his weenus and the boys explain the origins of the infamous Colonel Bhutsocke!
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I found this hilarious post over about an alternate Harry Potter universe over at the Failbook… (and in case you hate clicking links)
I quickly posted it to my facebook and almost immediately Bizarrobot jumped in and gave her two cents, eventually, what started as a funny thought about a gun toting boy wizard, turned into a semi-serious discussion about how the world of H.P. could be humanized and darkened (it also showed just how nerdy I can be… a lot):
Just before she left to procure some pastry- Bizarro had this to say:
So- my question to you is: How would you make Harry Potter more gritty and muggle-esque? If simple human inventions were thrown into the mix of wizardry- how would things have been different? Discuss!