JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM (8 out of 10) Directed by J.A. Bayona; Written by Derek Connolly and Colin Trevorrow; Starring Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Rafe Spall, Justice Smith, Daniella Pineda; Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of science-fiction violence and peril; Running time 128 minutes; In wide release June 22, 2018. 

Kelly: Let’s face it. No other film in the Jurassic franchise can live up to Steven Spielberg’s 1993 dino-sized achievement Jurassic Park. It just can’t happen. That film is sheer perfection and I’ll take a raptor claw to anyone who says otherwise. 

That being said, the franchise was once again brought to life with 2015’s Jurassic World. After nearly 15 years in hibernation, dinosaurs once again roamed the earth, and park-goers drank at Margaritaville while Claire Dearing (Bryce Dallas Howard) ran around in high heels. The film brought fresh blood and new characters to the dormant series, and though responses were mixed, life, uh, found a way. Which brings us to the new creation Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. 

I thought there was little to experience after seeing the trailer, but boy, was I wrong. Minor spoilers ahead, so consider yourself warned.

Jurassic World has fallen into decay, and the dinosaurs roam free on Isla Nublar. But the impending threat of a volcanic eruption of making-dinosaurs-extinct-again proportions has created a media firestorm. Should they be killed in this act of God? Do we owe them protection after bringing them back? And what about the children?!

Claire has become an activist for the dinosaurs, and when an opportunity presents itself to return to the island and save them, she jumps at the chance. But it also means reuniting with ex-boyfriend Owen Grady (Chris Pratt), whose expertise is needed to locate and capture Blue, the remaining raptor that he trained from infancy.

And because this is a Jurassic film, all hell breaks loose. I honestly was on the edge of my seat at some points. Volcanic rock shooting into the air, lava flowing dangerously close to our hero. Both he and Claire are far more appealing in this latest installment, with snappy banter and moments of genuine tenderness. And did I mention no high heels? 

Unfortunately the two “experts” (a paleo vet and computer expert) that join them on the adventure are walking clichés, lacking in depth or likeability. Compare them to Arnold (Samuel L. Jackson) and Muldoon (Robert Peck) in the original Jurassic Park. Limited screen time, but strong presences onscreen. A combination of a brilliant direction, fantastic performances, and a tight script that provided lines that gave their characters breath.

But unfortunately the majority of the characters in Fallen Kingdom fall into the same trap as the vet and the computer hacker. Generic characters with single-minded focus.

And there are too many overt nods to the original. It was cute and nostalgic in Jurassic World, but we’ve seen many of these elements before, and done better.

But the heart-pounding moments of wondering where the dinos were and what they would do next made up for the repetition of tropes.

Overall, it was a fun, thrilling adventure. Highly recommend. And seeing Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) again was a thrill in itself. 

8 out of 10

Adam McDonald: As Kelly said, the original Jurassic Park is a classic, and it would take a monumental effort to try to top it. Even over two decades later, it still holds up and stands as the definitive dinosaur movie and is also one of my favorite films of all time. So going in, I knew that I was going to have to dampen my bias in order to be as objective as possible, and that it was going to be difficult.

Fallen Kingdom is by no stretch of the imagination a great film; in fact, I would say it’s not even a good film. Glaring plot holes are scattered throughout the narrative, there is spotty CGI all over the place, the characters are one dimensional and overall a lot of stuff just doesn’t make sense. But I walked out with the biggest smile on my face and absolutely loved it!

All we want to see in a Jurassic movie is bad-ass dinosaurs fighting each other and eating people, and we get that here. No one is going in expecting Citizen Kane or a movie that is going to reach through the screen and positively impact our lives. The fact that there is a stupid plot twist or that everything is pretty much bat-sock crazy doesn’t matter in the long run when we get a raptor-whisperer and a T-Rex munching down on more hapless villains. Also, how is it that in every Jurassic movie, the T-Rex always knows JUST when to swoop in at the end to save the day and send the audience off with its iconic roar?

The epitome of a summer popcorn movie that must be enjoyed with your brain turned off. Take the kids (age depends on if they’ve seen and enjoyed the previous movies), grab some snacks and enjoy this movie like the roller coaster it is. Just don’t try to think about ANYTHING that takes place, because it will all fall apart with even the most cursory of second glances. Oh, and stay through the credits because there is as brief stinger at the end!

8 out of 10

I never really appreciated the nineties while I was in them. I remember having a distinct feeling that the previous decade was a hell of a lot cooler and I had the misfortune of having mostly missed it, it being over by the time I hit Kindergarten and was forming most of my long term memories. Sure there were things that I liked, things that came out of that decade that are still a part of my cultural DNA, but I had a sort of intentional distance from it, sure that the best music and the best culture had come and gone. Part of that may have been the angst of growing up, the rite of passage that is being too cool for whatever is given to you, part of it may have been that life is like “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte,” difficult to appreciate from too close.

Whatever it was, it’s only now that I can look back on that time and realize that it did have its own soul, an attitude that was distinct to that time in the world, a flavor that is now gone for the most part, and I find myself sort of missing it. Life is weird like that.

We were being buried with fear, the Ozone layer had a whole in, AIDS was coming to get every one of us, the rainforest was being destroyed, space shuttles were blowing up, kids were coming to school with pipe bombs and bullets. At the same time, the new millennium was on the horizon, the internet was becoming ubiquitous, space stations were being built. The vast array of problems laid at our feet caused a sort of nostalgia for a simpler past that had left us behind, while the promise of the future suggested that just maybe we could fix those problems if we had the fortitude to pick up a hammer, or a shovel, or a bullhorn, or maybe just put down our weapons and see one another. Give the world a Coke.

Anyway, it was a weird time, we didn’t really know who we were, or where we were going, at least I didn’t, and born out of that feeling, as with every generation, was art. All of this is a longwinded way of saying that while I didn’t really appreciate it at the time, sometimes I wish I could go back, knowing then what I know now, but the wheel of time keeps turning, that is of course except for…

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” Created by Mark Schultz and Steven E. De Souza; Based on the comic book “Xenozoic Tales;” Starring David Keeley, Susan Roman, Bruce Tubbe, and Tedd Dillon; Originally aired September 18, 1993; Run time 22 minutes.

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” has perhaps one of the lamest names of any cartoon from the nineties but a pretty entertaining premise, especially if you’re like me and a sucker for pretty much anything with dinosaurs in it.

It takes place in the 26^th century, humanity has spent hundreds of years underground after a series of environmental catastrophes (potentially due to the rogue second moon whipping around Earth for no reason) and when they return to the surface they discover that previously extinct species have reclaimed the world, including dinosaurs.

A great city is built in the sea run by a council of corrupt governors, pockets of survivors are still emerging in the wilderness and The Mechanics, a group of environmental warriors is committed to finding balance in their new setting. One such Mechanic is the protagonist Jack Tenrec who, along with his buddy Mustapha Cairo, sort of love interest Hannah Dundee, and pet Allosaurus Hermes, fight the forces of Governor Wilhelmina Scharnhorst and poacher Hammer Terhune to maintain the balance of the Machinataeo Vitae, the machine of life.

Jack also receives advice from a race of sentient bipedal reptiles called Griths by way of Hobb, who is able to communicate with Jack and the dinosaurs telepathically.

The animation style and production of “Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” were able to preserve the feel of the late eighties/early nineties comic book style from which it was lifted by way of artistic design and changing the screen ratio to mimic panels at strategic moments.

The series so perfectly embodies the spirit of the nineties by way of looking to the future while also holding onto the recent and distant past. Through its admittedly silly exterior it commentates on the nature of the human experience by suggesting that even the future, even in the face of a near miss extinction, we might still struggle with the same issues of togetherness and balance with our environment that plague us today.

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” probably won’t go down in history as a great piece of art or social commentary, but it is a great example of the way we were feeling at the time it was made, the things that weighed heavily on our minds, plus it has dinosaurs.

The park is set to open again this June. Will the folks from the world of “Jurassic Park” have learned anything from their past or will the dinosaurs wreak even more havoc than before? As fans, we could only cross our fingers and hope for the havoc. That was of course, until the latest trailer which released today. In the trailer we get a bit more of the story we’re in for and a whole lot of Chris Pratt being awesome and a maw full of vicious dinosaurs. Don’t take our word for it though, check out the trailer below. Universal Pictures is set to release “Jurassic World” June 12, 2015.  

“Dino-Riders” Episode 1.1 The Adventure Begins (7 out of 10)  – Directed by Steven Hahn; Written by Gerry Conway and Carla Conway; Based on the Tyco toy line of the same name; Starring:Dan Gilvezan, Frank Welker, Noelle North, Peter Cullen, and Rob Paulsen; Originally aired January 10, 1988.

“Dino-Riders” was another in a wave of shows intended purely to sell toys. The common consensus is that if you’re motivated by merchandizing rather than storytelling, you’re going to make a bad show. While this is a legitimate concern, what “Dino-Riders” has to combat this is PEOPLE RIDING DINOSAURS WITH LASER GUNS! Add in the back story of a brutal futuristic war in space and time travel to prehistoric Earth and it’s the perfect mix of so much awesome you just don’t care about anything else.

The makers of “Dino-Riders” effectively brain boxed me like an unsuspecting T-Rex under the nefarious hands of Emperor Krulos. Sadly it only ran for 14 episodes in 1988. If Hollywood intends to continue down the road of reviving titles from the eighties, I vote for this.

After a strange and seemingly unconnected introduction of a kid at a museum, we’re introducted to Questar and the rest of the Valorians on the run from a Rulon armada controlled by the obviously evil anthropomorphic frog, Emperor Krulos. The Valorians attempt to use their “time step” to escape certain destruction but their equipment is damaged from the battle and the step is delayed. Krulos uses the delay to lock on a tractor beam and both ships are pulled into the past, arriving in prehistoric Earth.

When they reach the surface the Valorians use psychic technology contained inside amulets around their necks to communicate with and befriend the dinosaurs. Krulos sees a similar opportunity in the dinosaurs and creates the “brain box,” a mind control device that gives Krulos control over that dinosaurs mind.

When a T-Rex appears and is seemingly unaffected by the Valorian’s psychic sweet talk Krulos sees an opportunity to brain box the beast and defeat Questar once and for all. After successfully taking control of the Tyrannosaur Krulos heads toward the Valorian base to kill Questar and take control of the time step to return home and rule his empire.

Finally an epic dino-battle ensues. All your favorite giant lizards are there, even if they lived in completely different time periods, who cares? They have laser guns and are piloted by a hammerhead shark dude. Your disbelief took a nap fifteen minutes ago, just go with it.

Questar hops a Pterodactyl and blasts the brain box of old Rex and Krulos runs scared for the hills. The T-Rex doesn’t attack presumably because he was like “Thanks man, I’m not about to be told what to do by my great-great-great-grandson. Kids!”

The Valorians live to fight another day, on dinosaurs, with lasers. Awesome.

Stick around to the end of the video, there are some sweet “Dino-Riders” toy commercials that are still totally effective and I’m going to ask my Mom to raise my allowance because I need every single one of them.

Hitting the internet a couple of days early is the new “Jurassic World” trailer.

It hits a lot of the right notes, and sets up the premise of the film pretty succinctly: A new genetically modified beastie escapes and starts stalking the fully operational theme park.

Chris Pratt is on the job though, so no big worries. He and his pack of tracking Velociraptors will take care of it. While Bryce Dallas Hoawrd wrings her hands in guilt and apprehension. Plus, there are kids in danger.

Seriously, I am pretty excited about this film. If I had to rank which 2015 releases were at the top of my list, this would be in the Top 3.

“Jurassic World” opens all over on June 12, 2015.

This is pretty nearly universal: little kids love dinosaurs. So, it should be a no-brainer to make a movie about some plucky young dinosaurs on an adventure-filled journey, even though we’ve seen that movie done a half dozen or so times already with various degrees of success.

So this year’s would-be babysitter for while you’re doing your last minute mall shopping, Walking With Dinosaurs in 3D, should be pretty good, right? Well, if you’re going to stash a young boy age 4-10 in a theater, he’ll love it. But if you, as an adult, have to sit through this with him? Your reaction is likely to range from slight annoyance to full-on-migraine, depending on your tolerance for predictable schmaltz and bad scripting.

Based on the computer-generated “documentary” style series of the same name narrated by Avery Brooks for the Discovery Channel (or by Kenneth Branaugh when it showed on the BBC) this should’ve been a surefire hit. CG dinosaurs in 3D to tell a somewhat scientifically accurate story? Sounds great.

And then the film actually opens, and all those expectations are dashed. Instead of computer generated Cretaceous landscapes we get. . . a live action sequence with Karl Urban and a couple of kids? Yes. It seems he’s a paleontologist and may have found something — a tooth of a gorgosaurus — that might lead him to a full skeleon or more fossils. But one of the kids is unimpressed.

Enter an annoying bird named Alex, voiced by John Lequizamo, who proceeds to tell the jaded youth a story about his ancestor bird and a young pachyrhinosaurus named (of course) Patchi, voiced by Justin Long. Patchi is the son of the leader of the herd has an older brother named Scowler and a romantic interest named Juniper. Young runt Patchi is trying to learn his place in the world and fighting to survive while being bullied by his older, bigger brother. And he faces some danger at an early age, leaving him with a special scar. And then the herd has to migrate for the winter, facing dangers like predators and the elements. Adventure ensues.

The mad-libs stlye story is as generic as it is predictable, which isn’t to say it’s totally bad. After all, they are at some level trying to discuss the normal migration patters of late Cretacous dinosaurs. There’s only so much that can happen. And this is supposed to be a kids movie, not The Godfather Part II. Regardless, if you’ve seen The Land Before Time or Disney’s Dinosaur, you can paint by numbers the plot.

What stands out here is the quality of the animation. This is a fantastically beautiful film that, unfortunately, the kids this movie is designed to appeal to won’t fully appreciate. If the Oscar were only for quality of animation, this gives Frozen, Monsters’ University, and all other animated films this year a run for their money.

But it suffers from one of the worst scripts for a childrens’ animated movie in a long, long time. Yes there are poo jokes. There are ridiculous, groan-inducing puns that the target audience won’t understand and the rest of us won’t enjoy.

The characters are annoying. And because the dialogue is done as voice over (the dinosaurs’ voices don’t sync up with any lip movement) I can’t help feeling this film would’ve worked better with David Attenborough style animal documentary narration rather than the dinosaurs talking to one another. Yes, bring back the Avery Brooks. Or the Kenneth Branaugh. And eliminate the awful, awful dialogue. 

The movie also fails when it tries to ventue into other various film-esque techniques rather than playing to its strengths as a faux-documentary. As mentioned earlier, the “story in a story” conceit with the live action Karl Urban family is unnecessary and annoying. So is the film’s chosen soundtrack. Rather than just a typical film score, the movie chooses to use a pop soundtrack in some places. And at one point they inexplicably use an instrumental version of Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk.” To appeal to the grandparents who accidentally took their grandkids to see this? Sure it sounds like good music for dinosaurs to march to.  

The final verdict: this film is beautiful and would have been excellent if it removed the dialogue and soundtrack. If your kids love dinosaurs, feel free to plunk them in a theater by themselves. But anyone over the age of 9 probably ought not apply. Considering the other incredible, kid-friendly fare out there (Frozen, Saving Mr. Banks), all but the most dinosaur-obsessed kiddos should enjoy far superior entertainment elsewhere.

Here’s hoping when it comes to Blu-ray they let you strip out the dialogue and replace it with documentary narration. At least at home you could turn the sound down and just watch. It would be much more enjoyable that way.

What do you get when you combine “Jurassic Park” and “The Lost World”?  “Jurassic World”, of course! Often referred to as “Jurassic Park IV”, the latest installment in the “Jurassic Park” franchise now has a title and a new release date, according to the Jurassic Park Facebook.

Moved from its June 2014 date, the dino thriller will now hit theaters Friday, June 12, 2015. With Steven Spielberg as executive producer, I have high expectations. Colin Trevorrow (“Safety Not Guaranteed”) is directing, with Frank Marshall as one of the producers.

But with a title like “Jurassic World”, what does that imply? That dinosaurs will truly roam the earth? I had heard originally that there would be a return to the theme park concept introduced in the first (and best!) film, but firm plot details remain to be seen.

What we do know is that “Pirates of the Caribbean V” has been pushed out of the 2015 calendar, but the juggernaut known as “Star Wars Episode VII” is still slated for a 2015 release.

So, hold onto your butts. 2015 will be an interesting year for film.