‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ Episode 1.16 “End of the Beginning” (6 out of 10) Starring Clark Gregg, Chloe Bennet, Ming-Na Wen, Brett Dalton; Tuesdays on ABC.

“Agents of SHIELD” is giving me a complex. It’s becoming like the father that promises to take me fishing only to bail at the last minute because “something came up.” Week after week, it dangles this beautiful geeky carrot in front of my nose only to lead me into a morass of clichéd, action movie dialogue, unabashed scene-chewing (but not the so-bad-it’s-good kind), and predictable detritus that has been exhumed from the remains of “Smallville” and “CSI: Wherever the Hell.” Tonight’s episode took a few big steps forward with the “Clairvoyant/Deathlok” storyline, but those steps had to hopscotch around some serious problems. Beware of spoilers ahead, friends.

Skye Gets a Promotion

In SHIELD’s increasing desperation to find and capture the Clairvoyant, they decide that someone who is talented in pattern recognition, computer manipulation, and other stuff Skye is good at should be put in charge of finding him. So, Agent Hand grants Skye full agent status, which is a big moment for her, along with Coulson and Ward, who show their approval with solemnly pursed lips. They figure that the Clairvoyant is someone who is in SHIELD’s Index, and Skye narrows it down to three possible individuals. Three pairs of agents are then tasked with finding and questioning said individuals. 

There are two items of note regarding Skye in tonight’s episode. One, Fitz and Jemma are secretly running tests on Skye’s blood to figure out more about the blue goo that saved her life. I like how Fitz and Jemma are doing this secretly, and it seems to be strengthening their nerd bond. This could also give them the opportunity to make a big discovery about the mysterious gunk, and it would be nice to see the lab geeks become in charge of that sensitive information.  The second notable item is the relationship that Ward and Coulson have with Skye. I get that the innocent and true blue Skye is designed as a foil for the warlike agents, but could they lay it on any thicker? If she’s going to get promoted to an agent then she can’t be treated like everybody’s little sister. She survived two bullets to the gut and has whatever immortality serum that was pumped into Coulson running through her veins. It’s time to cut the apron strings, Coulson.

The Clairvoyant

After May and Agent Blake (Hey! It’s the smoke monster from “Lost!”) manage to plug Deathlok with some tracking bullets, the SHIELD team moves in on his coordinates, which appear to be the Clairvoyant’s HQ. There he was, strapped to a wheelchair and speaking through a straw. He makes some vague threats, but when he starts talking about how he’s going to kill Skye, Ward puts a bullet through his chest. Ward claims that his emotions got the best of him, but that’s hard to believe considering he doesn’t have any of those.

It’s around this point that Fitz and Coulson get wise to the fact that there is a mole on the SHIELD team, and the helpless invalid that Ward just blew away was nothing more than a decoy. This makes Coulson suspicious of Ward, and an angry interrogation ensues. Fitz, however, is the one who actually discovers an encrypted line in May’s private quarters—which he promptly deactivates, causing May to chase after him with a gun. Apparently, she failed to notice that if she shot Fitz, people would likely have a lot of pesky questions. When Coulson shows up, more yelling ensues, but zounds, what’s this? The SHIELD plane gets remotely hijacked by Agent Hand? Is she the Clairvoyant?

Verdict

Every time I read a story about how the creators and actors on “Agents of SHIELD” get up in arms about the criticism that is leveled against the show, their defense always seems to be that fans just have to let the show get its sea legs. I think after sixteen episodes, the show either needs to grow those sea legs really fast (like, by next week) or realize that it has gotten away from the creators. I’m sure it’s a very difficult process to create a show that’s a cross-promotional free-for-all with a vast and intimidating mythology to draw from and simultaneously worry about quality storytelling, but it’s something that needs to be done here. From the moment that I saw Brad “Wormtongue” Dourif’s name as a guest star, the episode’s plot unfolded before me without much effort. Initially, having him play a decoy in the same way that Ben Kingsley played the Mandarin was a nice touch, but as soon as Ward shot the unarmed man (did I mention he was in a wheelchair?), it wasn’t too hard to figure out that he wasn’t the real bad guy.

As of now, I’ll maintain some faith in the showrunners’ vision of the show’s potential, but at some point, it’ll come time for them to deliver on some of these big promises that they’ve been making. Until next week, friends!

‘Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.’ Episode 1.13 “T.R.A.C.K.S.” (8 out of 10) Starring Clark Gregg, Chloe Bennet, Ming-Na Wen, Brett Dalton; Tuesdays at 8/7 central on ABC.

Call me old-fashioned, but I love train heists. You put a train heist in an episode of “Duck Dynasty” and I’d be on that like a pilot fish on a shark’s belly. Maybe it’s the fact that anything could go wrong on a high speed train or perhaps it’s because our protagonists are disguised as regular passengers, helping to feed the fantasy that next time I ride public transit, one of my fellow travelers just might be a secret agent. Regardless of the bias that I have towards railroad larceny, tonight’s episode of SHIELD sufficiently thrust the viewer right back into the action after its mid-January break. As usual, there are spoilers ahead.

Verona to Zagreb

 After our introduction to Ian Quinn, sleazy rich dude who is in cahoots with Centipede, during the previous episode, SHIELD has made him a high-priority target. They’ve discovered a plan in which a company called Cybertech (I wonder what they make…) is transporting an unidentified item of interest to Quinn via an Italian passenger train.  Coulson’s plan is to go undercover and intercept this item before it reaches Quinn. As one has come to expect from train heists, nothing goes as planned.

Before everything goes horribly wrong however, Marvel’s god-emperor Stan Lee graced the show with his presence. As I predicted, he plays an elderly gentleman who takes a moment to chastise Coulson for his lack of manners. Funny, but it’s pretty much the same as all of Lee’s cameos. Would he just sign on to play the Vulture in the next Spider-Man flick already?

To my knowledge, Cybertech is a fairly new entity to the SHIELD game. After learning about the show’s plans to unveil Deathlok, however, it’s a safe bet that whatever they’re hiding has something to do with him. This pleases me.

“Thanks for the Knife.”

A lot of the action in this episode happens in a very Tarantino-esque fractured narrative. Though this kind of makes sense with the inclusion of time-freezing grenades that the Cybertech goons are fond of, the transitions were a bit clunky. 

Through these mini-flashbacks, however, Agent May manages to prove her genuine badassery.  In a fairly predictable turn of events, SHIELD’s Italian contact betrays them and captures May.  After taking her to a barn and tying her to the ceiling, the dude freaking stabs her in the shoulder, leaving the blade lodged below May’s clavicle. What does May do? She thanks him for the knife and uses it to cut herself free just before chucking it into the mole’s back before he could murder Ward and Coulson. Throughout the series, you definitely get the sense that May is hardcore, but this moment really showcased how terrifying she really is.

End of the Line

As fun as the train heist was, the show had an impressive closing act. One thing that was cool about this episode was that it stuck the agents into unfamiliar roles. For example, Skye and Fitz were supposed to run communication, but when all the combat-ready agents got booted off of the train, it was down to them to infiltrate Quinn’s swanky super-villain headquarters (a super-villa, if you will).  I had a bad feeling about Skye taking on all these trained killers by herself, which was completely validated—more on that in a minute.

After Quinn apprehends Skye, he shows her the mutilated body of Mike Peterson which is still breathing inside a hyperbaric chamber. Quinn then proceeds to attach the piece of Cybertech equipment to Peterson’s leg—and yes, it extends to become a sweet cybernetic Deathlok leg (it’s identified as Deathlok in the final scene—as Mike is making an attempt to see his son)! It also appears that Peterson has had some behavior modifications—he states that he is unable to harm Quinn, but that he does have a mission to take out a target that has not yet been identified.  At this point, SHIELD has arrived to take care of business, and Quinn SHOOTS SKYE TWICE! POINT BLANK! It was totally unexpected, and totally gut-wrenching—especially when Coulson finds her on the brink of death. As he’s become her surrogate father, he can’t help but feel responsible for this injury, and much guilty introspection ensues.

Verdict

Train heists and cliffhangers make for an entertaining episode, that’s for sure. Though the situation with Skye is pretty grim, I’m sure it’s just a way for them to explain why she was considered an “unidentified object” when she was a baby. Also, there is some great territory to explore with Mike Peterson/Deathlok—although if not done carefully, he runs the risk of becoming a Robocop rip off.

I can appreciate the fact that the show seems to consistently be going in new directions, it could use the occasional episode that arrives at a given point, rather than one that always appears to be setting things up for the future. Perhaps all roads simply lead to Bill Paxton, who will be guest-starring next week. Regardless of my misgivings, SHIELD, still has some life left in it.

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Episode 1.12 “Seeds” (7 out of 10) Starring Clark Gregg, Chloe Bennet, Ming-Na Wen, Brett Dalton; Tuesdays at 8/7 central on ABC.

Though it was an imperfect episode, tonight’s installment of SHIELD managed to get a few things right. ‘Seeds’ is an appropriate, albeit slightly obvious title, since plenty of new story threads opened up over the course of its intersecting storylines. We got to take a look at SHIELD’s science academy, were introduced to a few new players in Centipede’s dirty little army, and learned the truth behind Skye’s parents. As usual, if spoilers give you a rash, you might want to wait until you’re caught up to continue. Also, I have a dermatologist friend who can check that out for you.

The Mystery of the Frozen Swimming Pool

A few nerds in a pool are terrified to see the water freeze around them. As they are students at SHIELD’s science academy, the implication is that someone is taking a cue from Anakin Skywalker and trying to wipe out potential SHIELD agents before they have fully ripened. This also means that our friends have been contacted to investigate this possible attack.

The inclusion of the science academy somehow made SHIELD more accessible, which was a good thing. I liked the idea that SHIELD runs an operations academy for their field agents and a science academy for their tech-geeks—it created a bit of a jock vs. nerd conflict among Ward, Jemma, and Fitz which was entertaining. Even in the well-oiled machine that is SHIELD, jocks and nerds are still vying for supremacy. 

All of the scenes at the science academy were great. In a cross-promotional move that was both well-placed while providing a geeky “A-ha!’ moment, Skye reads the name Bucky Barnes on the SHIELD wall of valor—little does she know that he’s scheduled to become the fearsome Winter Soldier in the upcoming Captain America flick! Also, during a lecture that Jemma and Fitz offer to the academy’s students, they mention AIM and HYDRA along with Centipede as examples of science gone bad.

It’s these strategically placed references to the wider Marvel universe that make SHIELD feel like it’s actually in the same league as Marvel’s blockbuster films—and this is exactly what the show needs.

Not everything is comic book references and snappy quips between Jemma and Ward, however. In the middle of the lecture, one of the students present at the pool-freezing turns into a nerdsicle himself. The scene touted pretty decent special effects for a TV show, plus it solidified the idea that someone was definitely out to get them.

Meanwhile, in Mexico City

Back on the plane, Coulson has been contemplating the fact that he wasn’t brought back to life in Tahiti after all—and honestly, it’s making him kind of a drag.  May ends up speaking on behalf of the audience members who like Coulson better when he’s cracking wise and taking names, and tells him to snap out of it. As incentive to do so, she’s turned up new evidence regarding Skye’s parents and their attachments to SHIELD. Turns out, one of the agents who dropped her off was killed, but the other, Agent Lumley, is hiding out in Mexico City.

Admittedly, the sequence when May and Coulson confront Lumley and the subsequent reveal about Skye’s shady past are pretty cool. Not realizing that they’re with SHIELD, Lumley tries to munch on a cyanide pill rather than be taken alive. Coulson manages to defuse the situation—while he’s hovering above an alley in his Stark Industries modified hotrod, which was another cool throwback to the “Captain America” film.

In short, Lumley explains that he was part of a SHIELD contingent that was investigating an “object of unknown origin” that was somehow related to several deaths in China. The agents were surprised to find out that little baby Skye was said object. Lumley went on to explain he was the last survivor of that mission, and that each member of the contingent had been hunted down and killed by parties unknown.

This has potential. Not only does it make Skye look like she has some untapped power within her, it opens up all kinds of possibilities regarding the people that managed to hunt down and kill full-fledged SHIELD agents. It doesn’t sound like they’ll be too happy to learn that Skye is alive and working with SHIELD, that’s for sure.

Yeah, It’s a Weather Machine.

In what they originally supposed was a cruel prank, the SHIELD agents begin investigating any possible bullies that academy wunderkinds Seth and Donnie may have been dealing with. Fitz sees a bit of himself in Donnie, and the two bond over their shared frustrations of growing up with genius level IQ’s—however, it’s all a ruse to get Fitz to help Donnie with the last bit of information he needs to build a weather machine, the telltale sign of a rookie mad scientist. Through this revelation, we learn that the scientists are being financially backed by a new and mysterious sleazeball named Ian Quinn, who appears to enjoy the irony of paying future SHIELD agents to try and bring down the organization.

From here on, the episode is fairly predictable. After he and Seth unleash a hurricane over the science academy, Donnie disables the machine only to electrocute his best friend, leaving SHIELD to clean up the mess.

This is when the episode drooped in quality. After Fitz’s soapbox about how Donnie’s just another misunderstood genius and that he just needs someone to take a chance on him, I remembered how much the show’s writers love throwing in syrupy crap about how SHIELD is all about second chances and blah blah blah. Just once, I’d like to see Coulson or Ward straight up belt one of these social rejects in the face and tell them that “no one understands me” is not a valid reason to destroy the world.

Coulson’s heart to heart with Skye about the truth behind her parents’ disappearance was also a bit melodramatic. When he gushes about how Skye’s perseverance and optimism in light of what he told her helped “make him a better person” it was hard to keep the gag reflex in check.

The episode wrapped up with two potential supervillains that will most likely show up later on. Donnie, after being taken to the Sandbox for observation and (hopefully) imprisonment is revealed to have gained ice-powers (presumably to become this dude, who could potentially provide a link to Justin Hammer), and Ian Quinn leaves Coulson with an ominous reference to the Clairvoyant, revealing his ties with Centipede.

Verdict

‘Seeds’ was solid until the last fifteen minutes or so. It’s great to get a peek behind SHIELD’s shady exterior, and seeing Jemma and Fitz enjoy a bit of celebrity for their reputations as scientists made it easier to take them seriously. Coulson’s and May’s encounter with Lumley shed some new possibilities for Skye, whose mysterious backstory is arguably cooler than Coulson’s was. My fingers are crossed for a “Guardians of the Galaxy” crossover, in which Skye is revealed to be a Skrull, but I’ve been burned before. 

Stan Lee’s much-anticipated cameo will be happening next week, and based on the previews, he will be playing an older gentleman with glasses. Watch the episode and check back with bigshinyrobot.com for another scintillating review!