Last week I watched “Denver, the Last Dinosaur” because I wanted to see something fun with dinosaurs in it, and partly because I couldn’t find the “Problem Child” animated series online anywhere. Except for a single segment of cool dino history, running about a minute long, “Denver” was sort of a disappointment.

Keeping in the theme of dinosaurs, forever searching for some really cool dino content, this week I watched…

“THE ADVENTURES OF T-REX” Episode 1.1 – Hijack (6 out of 10) – Created by Lee Gunther and Michael Wahl; Starring Michael Dobson, Kathleen Barr, Michael Beattie; Originally aired 1992.

I had never heard of this cartoon before this morning and didn’t look into it at all other than to type it into the YouTube search bar and find the first episode. Based on the title alone I thought this was going to be a show about a single T-Rex and his super awesome adventures. I was wrong.

First things first, this show has one of the most overbearing title sequences I’ve ever seen. I don’t know if you guys know this about me. But I’ve watched a considerable number of cartoons and seen a lot of intro sequences. I don’t know why this one just bowled me over. The way the title of the show keeps popping in to remind you what you’re watching.

This show is seemingly about a world inhabited by anthropomorphic dinosaurs, five of which are brothers who are in a musical group at a club. The club owner pull one of the brothers aside to tell him that some of their shipments have been getting hijacked and the club may have to shut down because they’ve run out of drinks and food. She mentions getting in touch with the elusive “T-Rex” from the title.

In the next seen we see a truck on its way to deliver to Dragon Company, the name of the club the five brothers work at when all of a sudden they are held up by a group of nefarious looking reptiles. Wait a minute their guns seem to only freeze other people. When you’re a reptile that’s either a death sentence or the key to eternal life.

All of a sudden, holy shit, those brothers aren’t just a musical act my grandma would probably enjoy, they’re crime fighting superheroes saving Rep City from the evil Big Boss Graves who, by the way, has a head that’s way too big for his body and he totally looks like a Gremlin.

Perhaps Denver just set the bar really low but I actually really liked “The Adventures of T-Rex” maybe it was just because I was caught off guard. Who knows? It’s something we’ve seen before, it feels a bit like “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” but different enough that it doesn’t feel like it was… hijacked.

And that ladies and gentlemen is how you bring something full circle.

Cheers.

PART ONE

PART TWO

Happy November everyone. Today is November first and for me that means the beginning of NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) so I should be writing a book right now, instead I’m watching cartoons. I make the big sacrifices for you guys. Last week we watched three horror short films in honor of Halloween, this week we’re going to keep the tone but bring it down so as to not cause trauma to any little ones that may be around. Feed me, you bunch of Seymours!

“Little Shop” Episode 1.1 – Bad Seed (5 out of 10) – Produced by Marvel Productions, Saban, La Cinq and Concorde – New Horizons; Starring Jana Lexxa, Jennie Kwan, Michael Rawl, and Terry McGee; Originally aired September 7, 1991.

“Little Shop” is based on the Broadway musical, and subsequent live action movie “Little Shop of Horrors” starring Rick Moranis and Steve Martin, both of which are based on a 1961 film of the same name. My first introduction to this universe was when I was probably ten years old. My Dad had the original Roger Corman flick in his collection of VHS tapes. I used to lay out in the living room and watch it while I went to sleep. Later I came across the Rick Moranis musical version; at first I didn’t like it. It changed the tone of the story too much for my taste, I was used to the black and white flick that scared me a little when I was younger, this lighter version had lost what was special about the story. However, as time passed I learned to appreciate what the musical had to offer, eventually I came to love the later version. This cartoon is based on that but unfortunately it just doesn’t have the same hook.

Though there are still songs, much else has changed as the story that once made me afraid of the garden has been watered down both by songs and then by the adaptation to children’s television. Essentially it became a poorly made moderately written Disney flick. The show isn’t bad necessarily, it just isn’t that good. In this iteration Seymour and Audrey are children, Seymour works at the flower shop owned by Audrey’s father Mr. Mushnik. One day while on his way home from school, Seymour encounters a bully who throws him in a dumpster, he is then picked up by a garbage truck and taken to the dump where he finds a seed in the ground.

Seymour takes the seed back to Mushnik’s flower shop and plants it, the plant quickly begins to thrive and soon reveals itself to be a sentient 200 million year old dormant plant. Seymour names the plant Junior and the plant continues to grow, hiding its true nature from everyone but Seymour.

Junior, called Audrey Junior and Audrey II in the previous films, doesn’t want to eat people, he just wants to go home, in addition to Juniors obvious intelligence and awareness it is also revealed that the plant can infuse its own seeds with an idea and plant them in the mind of a human being ultimately brain washing them for a short time. When Seymour and Junior make it back to his previous home they find that the forest where he once lived has since been petrified by the machinations of time and Seymour agrees to return to the store and stay with Seymour.

Junior is horrified when he soon learns that humans consume plants and vows his revenge, though his attempts to militarize the flowers in Mr. Mushnik’s store are….. ahem… fruitless.

When I started to watch it I noticed that something bothered me, it felt familiar somehow but not quite right, then it hit me. This show is basically “Peanuts,” the animation looks similar and you could replace Seymour with Charlie Brown and not notice a difference accept maybe the shape of the head. So there you have it, the unlikely friendship of the loneliest kid you know and a sentient plant sort of hell bent on destroying humanity. It isn’t the greatest, but at least it’s not “The Legend of Zelda.”

One last thing, as an added bonus this episode still contains the original commercials played along with the show. Seeing the commercials was like finding a prize in your cereal when you didn’t expect one, an awesome piece of nostalgia to help cement the experience. You could skip them but I wouldn’t recommend it. 

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

I was planning on watching and writing about “Recess” today for one very important reason, I felt like watching it this morning. Sadly the internet gods have decided to eject “Recess” from the Garden of Streaming and into the land of pirates. Since I don’t feel like donning an eye-patch this morning, I guess I’ll watch something else. Let’s see, how about… 

“Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventures.” – One Sweet and Sour Chinese Adventure to Go (7 out of 10) – Created by Alyson Court; Starring George Carlin, Keanu Reeves, and Alex Winter; Originally aired September 15, 1990.

For anyone out there unfamiliar with the “Bill and Ted” franchise, it’s about two teenage dudes who make up for what they lack in intelligence quotient with confident and oft unjustified optimism. The combination of these attributes is usually the cause of and solution to any problem they encounter in normal life or while piloting their time travelling phone booth.

Imagine The Doctor giving the keys to the Tardis to two early nineties burnouts but not going with them. In this scenario, Bill and Ted would be the clueless companions to no one and Rufus (voiced by George Carlin) would be The Doctor who sort of pops in every now and again to steer them out of trouble.

In this episode the dudes turn their guitar amps up to the upmost limits in order to achieve true melodious splendor and in so doing break an ancient Chinese vase in Bill’s living room. They travel back to “antique China” to retrieve a replacement vase and cartoon madness ensues.

During their adventure they invent Chinese food to-go containers, meet “Mark O’Polo,” and build the Great Wall of China, albeit poorly. That confident optimism I mentioned earlier ultimately saves the day and the dudes return home.

The series ran for two seasons, the second of which saw the replacement of Reeves and Winter as Bill and Ted. This change was made in anticipation of a live action television series of the same name. Shortly thereafter the show was cancelled.

The franchise’s short life span is really a shame, while it may be stupid, Bill and Ted offer a view of life that can’t be argued with, there is no question that they are the people Mr. Rogers knows they can be. We should all take a page or two out of their phonebook, the world could use a bit more excellence. 

JACKIE CHAN ADVENTURES, Episode 1 (7 out of 10) –Created by John Rogers; Starring James Sie, Stacie Chan, and Sab Shimono; Originally aired September 9, 2000.

That’s right boys and girls, we’re leaving the hallowed ground of the 80s and 90s to watch a cartoon from a slightly less ancient time, the mythical year 2000. Jackie Chan was bigger than Jesus; they even share initials, coincidence? Statistically probable. Since the Chan name instantly turned other people’s money into yachts, they gave him a cartoon, and you know what, it works.

The series opens with Jackie Chan (strangely not voiced by Jackie Chan, I mean, what’s up with that?) in a Bavarian castle looking for an artifact. This scene has two purposes, to reveal that the fiction Chan is an adventure archaeologist, and to show off his sweet martial arts moves against a bunch of ancient booby traps. Chan escapes with his life and an ancient shield but he is seen by two shady looking groups of people.

Jackie returns home where he is met by his uncle who he lovingly refers to as “Uncle.” Jackie then gets a verbal thrashing for not having made morning coffee and “other things.” Uncle then reveals nonchalantly that Jackie has a niece he’s never known before and that she will be staying with him for the next year. What, what, what? The drama builds. Especially when…

Jackie is attacked by one of the groups following him in Bavaria, a secret criminal syndicate called “The Dark Hand.” Cue sweet martial arts training. Chan is painted as almost a superhero in his ability to scale structures and do flips and stuff, almost like a bumbling and friendly Batman. Batchan.

After the fight Jackie is introduced to the second group of people following him, a secret law enforcement agency known as “Section 13” who want Jackie to join them and help protect against the Dark Hand.

During his meeting with District 13 Jackie gets a phone call his uncle. Uncle called to tell Jackie that he had been doing research and discovered some important information. Then the Dark Hand kidnaps Uncle and demanding the shield as ransom.

The Dark Hand escape with the shield but not before Jade (Jackie’s niece) removes a talisman, the real source of power, from the shields center.

The events of this episode send Jackie and his family down a path with Section 13 to defend from and fight against The Dark Hand using familial bonds, cooperation, and of course, super cool ninja flips and stuff.

If you have a suggestion for a future “Saturday Morning Cartoon!” slap it down there in the comments section and I’ll probably do it. Cause I like you all as personal friends. Promise.

See you next week.

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA, Episode 1 “The Ringer” (2 out of 10) – Produced by DIC Entertainment and Nintendo; Directed by John Grusd; Written by Bob Forward; Starring Cynthia Preston, Jonathan Potts, Tabitha St. Germain, and Len Carlson. Originally aired September 8, 1989.

“The Legend of Zelda was featured on every Friday episode of the “Super Mario Bros. Super Show!” and follows the story of Link and Zelda as they defend the Tri-force of Wisdom and the kingdom of Hyrule from the evil wizard Ganon.

Link wakes up complaining about the cushy life he has in the castle, wondering why he doesn’t return to his life of adventure. Then he remembers that apparently he’s only there to ogle Princess Zelda. He looks down from his balcony, gives her a cat call whistle and says “Looking good princess, especially from this angle.” Seriously? What a dirtbag.

To which Zelda scoffs in justifiable offense and Sprite tells her “I told you, you should have put on a robe.” Because as you all know it’s every woman’s job to keep themselves covered in order to control the animal urges of young heroes.

Link’s reply- “Oops, I guess I offended her royal prissiness.” What a prude Amirite?

“Excuuuse meee Princess!”

The show is based primarily on the first game in the Zelda series “The Legend of Zelda” I guess, except that Zelda takes a larger role in most of the actual heroism and Link is less hero than date rapist.

A trio of baddies sneak into Link’s room attempting to steal the tri-force, he defeats them, with his sword and a bit of banter before Zelda knocks at his door.

Expecting a “reward” for his heroic deeds he puckers up for a kiss from the princess and she slaps him back to the Deku tree for his objectively horrid behavior.

He then tries to make her feel bad for her reaction by lying about the extent of his battle and how he works so hard to save the kingdom with only the best of intentions.

The details of Link’s actions really need no further outlining, suffice it to say he’s the kind of guy you wouldn’t leave your daughter (or son) alone in a room with, let alone select to defend your kingdom, but he’s the series protagonist so what ya gonna do?

Ganon plots to join an amateur magician’s contest in Hyrule in order to steal the tri-force, he turns a small lizard into a dragon as a diversion and gets the tri-force in hand. Zelda asks one of the amateur magicians to use a growing spell to create a large tree that slingshots them into the forest after Ganon.

Where Link straps Zelda to his back with his belt in order for them to better be able to fight the villains apparently, once the day is saved (mostly by Zelda) he refuses to release her until she gives him what he obviously and rightly deserves.

The episode ends with Ganon vowing to return and take the tri-force of Wisdom in order to rule all of Hyrule. I’m inclined to vote for him, if Link is the best hero they could find, the kingdom might be in need of some restructuring.

I’m usually pretty easy to please, I tend to see the good in things and I’m able to look past the bad, but the scales are too tipped this time. If you’re a fan of the game series, you’ll hate it. If you’re even a moderately worthwhile human being, you’ll hate it. There is no redeeming factor. Two stars earned for nostalgic music, and the moments when Zelda is strong and self assured. I have nothing else good to say about it.

You can watch all thirteen episodes below if you want to, but I don’t know why you would.

Sigh.

THE ADVENTURES OF THE GALAXY RANGERS, Episode 14 “Progress” (8 out of 10) – Created by Robert Mandell; Written by John Rawlins; Starring Jerry Orbach, Bob Bottone, and Laura Dean. Originally aired October 23, 1986.

Long before the “Guardians of the Galaxy” took the world by storm on the big screen, a different group protected the interests of our corner of the universe… these are “The Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.”

Galaxy Rangers feels like the animated love child of “Star Trek” and “Firefly,” it probably borrowed from one and pre-dates the other. In short, the story’s beginning involves the arrival of a pair of benevolent aliens to the Earth in search of allies willing to help them fight against the evil Crown Empire and their leader, Queen of the Crown. The two aliens then provide humanity with the knowledge required to build a hyper drive as a show of gratitude. Essentially, First Contact with a good dose of interplanetary war and oppression mixed in, you know, the usual kids fare.

Once humanity acquires this technology they (we) do the obvious thing and use it to explore the cosmos, establishing colonies and outposts along the way. In the course of humanity’s explorations it is discovered that the Crown Empires is not the only threat to truth, justice, and the… Earthian way… though they are a contender for biggest galactic thorn in our side. Rather than ask them where we can sign up for some interstellar pillaging like we would actually do, probably, an elite team of space cowboys are assembled to protect the interests of Earth and its allies, and thus the Galaxy Rangers were born.

If that isn’t enough to suck you in, prepare to be amazed, I think. Today’s episode includes a pair of telepathic intelligent (more so than usual) dolphins. Move over Rocket Raccoon. The dolphins intercept a distress call from a distant planetoid and go into a full on frenzy until the Rangers arrive to see what’s got their blow holes puckered. They explain (in ridiculous but forgivable high pitched voices) that some serious business is happening and only they can stop it. Since the Galaxy Rangers are in the business of exactly that, they take off without delay.

While en route they discover that the planetoid in question is almost entirely covered in water, with only one major land mass and it’s giving off readings of some pretty heavy pollution, so they hit the surface, breaking into two teams, to investigate. What happens next is a mix of things wacky, beautiful, and fun. Check it out.

And while you’re at it, let this be a lesson to us all, when the fateful day finally arrives that we do achieve the capability to travel the stars, let us use it not to spread tyranny, war, and the worst parts of humanity. Let us instead use it to become a kick ass force of exploring space cowboys hell bent on making the galaxy awesome.

Cheers.

“Progress” Part 1.

“Progress” Part 2.

When Disney bought Lucasfilm I think we all knew that crossover material was coming, we’ve already seen exactly that with Marvel properties. I distinctly remember the internet collectively curling up in the fetal position in some sort of pop culture induced panic attack over what would assuredly be terrible collaborations, an affront to everything we hold dear.

The good news is that Disney doesn’t seem to be completely incompetent. They are aware of the franchises they own and how best to put them together. It would be foolish and inaccurate to say that everything Disney does is wonderful, but it would be equally foolish and inaccurate to say that everything they do is bad. In fact, quite the opposite is true, there are some real gems hidden in the Disney catalogue.

Things like “Phineas and Ferb,” which I love with unabashed fervor. A year ago Disney gave us a P&F/Marvel crossover which, like all things “Phineas and Ferb,” didn’t suck at all. That’s why when Disney announced a similar crossover with the boys in the “Star Wars” universe all fears were quelled. I hope at this point we can all stop doubting Disney. They know what they’re doing, at least for the time being.

The “Star Wars” episode takes place in an alternate universe (thank glob for the multiverse, amirite?) wherein the characters of P&F live alongside the characters of “Star Wars.” In fact, they live just one moisture farm away from Luke. Unlike other “Star Wars” parodies (Family Guy and Robot Chicken) we won’t see the characters of Wars replaced by the characters of the cartoon; instead they live together in a new cohesive story.

“Phineas and Ferb: Star Wars” will premier July 26, 2014 on Disney and again on August 4, 2014 on Disney XD along with an extended look at Disney’s upcoming “Star Wars” series “Star Wars: Rebels.”

Oh ya, did I mention that Simon Pegg is voicing C3PO?

May the Ferb be with you.  

COUNT DUCKULA, Episode 1 “No Sax Please: We’re Egyptian” (8 out of 10) – Directed by Chris Randall; Written by Brian Trueman; Starring David Jason, Jack May, Brian Trueman, and Barry Clayton. Originally aired September 6, 1988.

This week Saturday Morning Cartoon! presents “Count Duckula,” a British series which first aired in 1988. The story follows the latest incarnation of a centuries old vampire duck, his butler Igor, and his nanny, a bumbling wrecking ball of a woman appropriately called Nanny. The Count must be reincarnated once each century through an ancient ritual which ends with an offering of blood, the life sustaining substance of all vampires. However, during the last ceremony, Nanny accidentally substituted ketchup, resulting in a less bloodthirsty vegetarian vampire who spends his evenings on the hunt… for carrots.

Igor is unsettled at the lack of viciousness in his new master and tries, unsuccessfully, to push the Count toward what Igor considers the noble pursuits of his previous incarnations, despite his complete lack of interest. What the Count is interested in is a way to achieve fame and wealth which he pursues by way of a unique property of Castle Duckula, namely its ability to travel through space and time. It’s basically Ducktor Who accept the castle is exactly as big on the inside as it appears on the outside.

In the pilot episode the Count takes the castle to ancient Egypt in pursuit of an enchanted saxophone that gives the player the power over life and death (redundant for a vampire) and dominion over all the powers of the universe (useful for anyone). When the castle transports it takes along with it, the Count, Igor, Nanny, and four burgling crows with socks on their faces who also want to get their hands on this mystical instrument.

When they arrive at the pyramid they all enter and through a series of fortunate events, all attempts by the burglars to retrieve the saxophone or to harm the Count and his entourage are foiled accidentally causing the crows to fall a great height to presumably great injury, at least half a dozen times. A feat even more impressive when you consider that they should be able to fly.

There are puns galore, a bit reminiscent of “Who’s on first” involving two pyramid guards who serve the god Ra, called Humite and Ubi. All in all, it was one of the most fun cartoons I’ve stumbled upon in a long time. Excuse me while I start the next episode.

For this episode I recommend a bowl of Count Chocula, because… obviously.

Cheers.  

THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS, Episode 1 “Ghosts R Us” (Class 7 entity out of 10) – Written by Len Jason and Chuck Menville; Starring Lorenzo Music, Marice LaMarche, Frank Welker, Arsenio Hall, and Laura Summer. Originally aired September 13, 1986, not to be confused with the short film released in 2011.

“Ghostbusters” recently celebrated its 30^th anniversary, despite being born before I was, it has remained a shining point of light in pop culture. In honor of 30 years of awesome, today we watch “The Real Ghostbusters”

The episode begins with the Ghostbusters on the job, they arrive at a factory to a crowd of screaming, almost identical women. The factory ejects chocolate like a depressed bulimic teenager, which Slimer gladly ingests (gross). The crew enter the factory to discover three force five entities which they successfully capture without much trouble.

They return to HQ with a year supply of chocolate only to find that Slimer has eaten it en route. Ray gets pissed, that chocolate was meant for Janine and makes an ultimatum. If Slimer makes one more mistake or causes one more problem, he’s toast.

Now is as good a time as any to mention that they’ve altered the aesthetic of the four ghostbusters enough that it’s confusing at first. Like, why does Egon look like a blonde front man for a rockabilly band? And why does Ray sound like Garfield? But I digress.

Our four ghost hunting heroes hit the hay but Slimer can’t sleep because he’s starving, obviously. Which makes one wonder about the metabolic rates of protoplasmic organisms, it’s obviously super fast. Or Slimer is just a fat jerk who can’t control himself.

While hiding and gorging like a depressed bulimic teenager (this joke might be too dark to tell twice, but… here we are), Slimer accidentally flips a switch, opening the door to the containment unit. He manages to get it closed again but not before the three ghosts from the chocolate factory escape and hatch a plan to get revenge on the Ghostbusters by posing as a rival company called Ghosts R Us. Which should have been everyone’s first clue because they are literally ghosts.

The Ghostbusters arrive at the scene of a job only to find that Ghosts R Us have already handled the situation to the applause of the citizenry. After the second time they are scooped by this new ghost hunting duo, the Ghostbusters begin to realize that something isn’t quite right.

The phantoms plan to orchestrate one last job to put the Ghostbusters out of business once and for all when the GBs receive a call from HQ advising them that three ghosts have escaped from containment.

Our four heroes put the pieces together, because they’re geniuses capable of creating proton packs and ghost containment units, so they can totally use deductive logic, I hope. They then head off to the final job to stop the protoplasmic punks once and for all. What they don’t know is that the ghosts have enlisted help from an entity much larger, more powerful, and more frightening than themselves. The Ghostbusters might be entering a situation a little larger than they can handle. Or not, obviously, because it’s the first episode and the show would be over if they died. Unless they started to bring down bad ghosts from the inside, damn the man (ghost).

The trio of bumbling ghouls have unwittingly unleashed a class 10 entity which inhabits what looks like a giant building block monkey on a tricycle, or the worst Transformer since Michael Bay, and begins Deadzilla smashing the city.

The Ghostbusters launch a sweet helicopter and make chase.

Slimer is worried that the GBs will make him leave, or put him in containment because he was the cause of the ghosts escape and the subsequent emergency situation. So he puffs up his chest to attack the entity, suddenly everyone realizes that they actually love Slimer because despite him being a complete pain in the ass, he’s kind of cute, like a dog that constantly shits green goo onto the carpet but he’s like… the best cuddler, so what are you gonna do?

Egon puts his system into overload to capture the entity in order to protect their green friend, which totally works and doesn’t kill anyone or end the universe in the process.

In the end, it wasn’t Slimer, it was science killed (proverbially, it was totally already dead) the beast.  

In short, the animated series loses some of the appeal of the movies on which it’s based, but mostly because you can’t tell dick jokes or have one of your heroes blown in a kid’s cartoon. That being said, it’s pretty good for what it is. 

Today we’re taking a trip to the Neitherworld, a place inhabited by ghouls and ghosts a plenty, including a particular ghost with the most, “Beetlejuice.”

The “Beetlejuice” animated series is based (loosely) on the 1988 film of the same name, though it resembles its inspiration only in aesthetics. The themes and relationships are watered down or changed altogether in order to make the show palatable for kids. In the film, Beetlejuice was an unstable element interested in carnal pleasures. In the series he trades in his more lewd behaviors for harmless insanity and a BFF type relationship with Lydia. The character of Lydia is more bubbly and adventurous than in the film but still remains “strange and unusual.” Together they find adventure each episode either in the Neitherworld or the real.

The pilot episode, “Critter Sitters,” finds Beetlejuice with two main problems. First that it is almost his (totally platonic) anniversary with Lydia and he needs to get her a gift but has no money, the second being that he can’t seem to control his transformations. If he expresses his feelings vocally, he will transform to physically match it. If he says he feels as strong as an ox, then he becomes an ox, etc.

Lydia suggests he get the transformation problem looked at but of course he declines, meanwhile Lydia must return to the real world where she has a job babysitting for two dollars an hour. Beetlejuice sees dollar signs in his future and an opportunity to get a gift for his best friend and decides to babysit as well.

Despite the fact that he has supposedly been alive for hundreds of years, Beetlejuice apparently doesn’t know what babysitting actually is and attempts to literally sit on the children, that is until a giant baby, bigger than house, arrives.

Speaking of the children, isn’t the Neitherworld inhabited entirely by the deceased? Where do these children come from? Are they families that died together? Are they dead babies that are being raised by monsters, or other random dead people? Do they ever grow up? What the Neitherworld is going on here?!

BeetleJ’s experience babysitting his three monstrous babies is juxtaposed against Lydia’s experience with one human baby, needless to say, she is having a better time of it. Bjuice appears to Lydia in a mirror asking for help, Lydia quickly makes her way to the Neitherworld with the neighbors’ human baby in tow… for God knows why.

After a quick explanation as to what babysitting actually entails, Beetlejuice lets out a sigh of relief saying “I feel like a kid again.” *POOF!* baby Beetlejuice. Now Lydia is stuck in the Neitherworld with a human baby, three monster babies (including a giant remember) and an infant version of dead Michael Keaton.

The group ends up at a mall and essentially destroy it, Lydia is occupied making sure the human baby doesn’t suffer some injury that would give it permanent residence in the Neitherworld. After a while Lydia snaps at Beetlejuice asking “Will you grow up?!” baby BJ repeats “Me grow up.” Voila, he’s back to *normal*, just in time for the police to arrive and take him away. His previous record as resident mischief maker he is quickly convicted and sentenced to execution by sandworm, basically because they are just tired of his shit.

Don’t ask me how you execute someone who’s already dead either.

Lydia arrives in the courtroom and comes to Beetlejuice’s defense. A really bad musical number ensues as Beetlejuice tries, and fails, to explain his intentions. With a little help from the babies, he is rescued from the sandworms but not before Arlo, the human baby falls into the sandworm world.

Beetlejuice falls through the hole with Arlo and locks up in the presence of a sandworm, resigned to his fate. Until Lydia calls him on his bullshit and pep talks him until he gets off his ass and decides to not just sit there and let a baby die. This spontaneous act of selflessness wins Beetlejuice his freedom.

Though the series differs from the film significantly, it still allows for exploration of some interesting ideas as the series progresses. All things considered it was a good cartoon, especially at the time of its release. Plus, at least it wasn’t “Beetlejuice Goes Hawaiian.”

Image by OpalLynn on DeviantART (account deactivated)