I never really appreciated the nineties while I was in them. I remember having a distinct feeling that the previous decade was a hell of a lot cooler and I had the misfortune of having mostly missed it, it being over by the time I hit Kindergarten and was forming most of my long term memories. Sure there were things that I liked, things that came out of that decade that are still a part of my cultural DNA, but I had a sort of intentional distance from it, sure that the best music and the best culture had come and gone. Part of that may have been the angst of growing up, the rite of passage that is being too cool for whatever is given to you, part of it may have been that life is like “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte,” difficult to appreciate from too close.

Whatever it was, it’s only now that I can look back on that time and realize that it did have its own soul, an attitude that was distinct to that time in the world, a flavor that is now gone for the most part, and I find myself sort of missing it. Life is weird like that.

We were being buried with fear, the Ozone layer had a whole in, AIDS was coming to get every one of us, the rainforest was being destroyed, space shuttles were blowing up, kids were coming to school with pipe bombs and bullets. At the same time, the new millennium was on the horizon, the internet was becoming ubiquitous, space stations were being built. The vast array of problems laid at our feet caused a sort of nostalgia for a simpler past that had left us behind, while the promise of the future suggested that just maybe we could fix those problems if we had the fortitude to pick up a hammer, or a shovel, or a bullhorn, or maybe just put down our weapons and see one another. Give the world a Coke.

Anyway, it was a weird time, we didn’t really know who we were, or where we were going, at least I didn’t, and born out of that feeling, as with every generation, was art. All of this is a longwinded way of saying that while I didn’t really appreciate it at the time, sometimes I wish I could go back, knowing then what I know now, but the wheel of time keeps turning, that is of course except for…

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” Created by Mark Schultz and Steven E. De Souza; Based on the comic book “Xenozoic Tales;” Starring David Keeley, Susan Roman, Bruce Tubbe, and Tedd Dillon; Originally aired September 18, 1993; Run time 22 minutes.

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” has perhaps one of the lamest names of any cartoon from the nineties but a pretty entertaining premise, especially if you’re like me and a sucker for pretty much anything with dinosaurs in it.

It takes place in the 26^th century, humanity has spent hundreds of years underground after a series of environmental catastrophes (potentially due to the rogue second moon whipping around Earth for no reason) and when they return to the surface they discover that previously extinct species have reclaimed the world, including dinosaurs.

A great city is built in the sea run by a council of corrupt governors, pockets of survivors are still emerging in the wilderness and The Mechanics, a group of environmental warriors is committed to finding balance in their new setting. One such Mechanic is the protagonist Jack Tenrec who, along with his buddy Mustapha Cairo, sort of love interest Hannah Dundee, and pet Allosaurus Hermes, fight the forces of Governor Wilhelmina Scharnhorst and poacher Hammer Terhune to maintain the balance of the Machinataeo Vitae, the machine of life.

Jack also receives advice from a race of sentient bipedal reptiles called Griths by way of Hobb, who is able to communicate with Jack and the dinosaurs telepathically.

The animation style and production of “Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” were able to preserve the feel of the late eighties/early nineties comic book style from which it was lifted by way of artistic design and changing the screen ratio to mimic panels at strategic moments.

The series so perfectly embodies the spirit of the nineties by way of looking to the future while also holding onto the recent and distant past. Through its admittedly silly exterior it commentates on the nature of the human experience by suggesting that even the future, even in the face of a near miss extinction, we might still struggle with the same issues of togetherness and balance with our environment that plague us today.

“Cadillacs and Dinosaurs” probably won’t go down in history as a great piece of art or social commentary, but it is a great example of the way we were feeling at the time it was made, the things that weighed heavily on our minds, plus it has dinosaurs.

“The Adventures of Sam & Max: Freelance Police” Created by Steve Purcell; Based on the comic book “Sam & Max: Freelance Police” also created by Steve Purcell; Starring Harvey Atkin, Robert Tinkler, and Tracey Moore; Originally aired October 4, 1997; Run time 10 – 22 minutes.

Sam, a bear, and Max, a rabbit, originally came into being in the 1987 comic book “Sam & Max: Freelance Police by Steve Purcell. The characters were adapted to the small screen ten years later as part of the Fox Kids lineup.

The series takes its art style and premise directly from the comic books. The story follows the two titular characters as they take on missions assigned by The Commissioner, an off screen entity who calls in Sam and Max when all goes awry and everything else fails. The pair are joined by The Geek, a teenage girl and technical genius who works in a lab in the Sub-Basement of Solitude cooking up gadgets for Sam and Max to help them with their missions.

The first and last episodes ran a full twenty-two minutes but the remainder paired two ten to twelve minute episodes, each with their own adventure. Their missions took them to the world’s strangest places, the center of the earth, Mt. Olympus, and beyond to the Moon and alternate dimensions.

In the pilot episode, (included below) “The Thing That Wouldn’t Stop It” the pair are called to the Sub-Basement of Solitude when The Geek is attacked by a many tentacle, shape shifting creature from another dimension coming out through the refrigerator. Sam and Max seemingly thrive on chaos and danger, rushing headlong into disaster as if it is the very air they breathe. The universe also employs some classic cartoon physics in as much as characters can be smashed or blown up without suffering any lasting harm.

Sam and Max enter a portal in the refrigerator that takes them to an alternate freezer dimension filled with scarecrows guarding frozen corn and housed made of hotdogs. There they find three men taken hostage by the creature within and must find a way to defeat the monster, save the men, and most importantly, restore the fridge to normal working order.

There’s something special about “The Adventures of Sam & Max: Freelance Police” in the way it deals with its characters and the way they speak and interact with their world. It can only be described as the nineties distilled into its purest form. Sam and Max brought home a Gemini award for best animated series but was unfortunately cancelled shortly thereafter, after only two seasons.  

“Marsupilami” Created by Andre’ Franquin; Directed b;y ;Bob Hathcock and Ed Wexler; Written by; John Behnke, Rob Humphry, and Jim Peterson; Starring Steve Mackall, Rene Auberjonois, Dan Castellaneta, Jim Cummings, Steve Landesberg, Tress MacNeille, Jason Marsden Frank Welker, and Samuel E. Wright; Run time 22 minutes.

“Marsupilami” got its start as a side character in the Franco-Belgian comic book “Spirou” creatd by Andre Franquin. The species made regular appearances in the book until Franquin quit working on it. Then they went dormant only to be revived decades later when a spin-off series of comics was created. This served to keep the character alive long enough to hit the cartoon boom of the 1990s.

The name is a combination of the words marsupial, pilou (the name of a character the creator loved), and ami (the French word for friend). The character entered into the minds of modern adults (I use that term lovingly) in the nineties when we were kids and when Marsu Productions created an animated series.

The show premiered as a part of Raw Toonage in 1992 and later on CBS, it ran until 1994. Along with the central episodes, of which there were thirteen, the show also featured shorts with either Marsupilami or side characters Sebastian the Crab (of “The Little Mermaid” fame) or Shnookums and Meat. The latter eventually got their own spin-off series that premiered in January of 1995.

The show took place in an undisclosed tropical jungle that the creator stated was in South America, though the series included species that are native to Africa, suggesting that at least this iteration takes place in a fictional amalgamation of all jungles.

Each episode features the titular character solving some problem that may involve either natural predators or human interlopers. The tone of the show feels similar to more modern fare, specifically “Wild Kratts” which features two humans in a wild setting solving some problem using animal powers. Replace the humans with a mostly mute marsupial and you’ve got “Marsupilami.”

The series fits nicely beside other environmentally conscious shows like “Captain Planet and the Planeteers” and “FernGully: The Last Rainforest” which also gained popularity in the nineties. Though “Marsupilami” was more subtle with its message, couched more in generally inoffensive children’s programming territory.

The series always stuck with me not because of the situations but because of the uniqueness of the central character. It appeals to children because the colors are bright, the characters are interesting, and most of the story is shown through action, not dialogue, making it easy to follow for kids who maybe haven’t developed strong communication skills just yet. This makes it perfect viewing for both kids and adults and serves as a testament to why the show has endured in the public psyche.

Long live Marsupilami. Houba houba.

“Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” Created by Richard Mueller; Written by Richard Mueller, Jack Enyart, and Ted Pedersen; Starring John Astin, Christian Guzek, Kath Soucie, Neil Ross, Thom Bray, Cam Clarke, S. Scott Bullock, and Maurice LaMarche; Run time 22 minutes; Originally aired September 8, 1990.

Alright 1990s, thanks for coming, please sit down. We need to talk. We’re all here because we care about you, no don’t get up, you need to hear this. We put up with a lot of weird stuff from you, when you convinced us all that tiny cardboard circles were collectible toys we went with it, when you developed and marketed creepy talking Mogwai dolls that may have been self aware we let it slide, and when you tried to convince us all that it was cool to roll up just one pant leg we didn’t say anything, because we love you.

I know you were a new decade and you were just trying to define yourself but this is getting out of hand. We have to draw the line somewhere and we’re drawing it at making cartoons about moderately sentient edibles from ambiguous food groups.

I know, I know, you’re not responsible for coming up with the “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,” that was before your time. That first movie came out before your flamboyant neon colored older brother decade had even cracked his first tooth. And I know it was him that gave us a sequel (“Return of the Killer Tomatoes”) ten years later.

Look, I’m sure you meant well. You looked up to him, the 80s were barely over and it may have still looked cool, you weren’t far enough removed. And we can’t even blame you for bringing it into cartoons and marketing it to kids. That sin lies at the feet of the late great Jim Henson (See “The Weirdo Zone” segment of “Muppet Babies”) with the encouragement of your brother. It’s really him we should be talking too but he’s gone now…

So now this has fallen at your feet and what do you do? You give us some bogus story about veterans and holdovers from The Great Tomato War and a star crossed friendship between the human child of a war hero and tomato refugees and you have them combat the mad scientist, excuse me, angry scientist Dr. Putrid T. Gangreen (were you even trying?) trying to stop him from taking over the world. WITH TOMATOES!

You know what, the talking and malevolent tomatoes aren’t even my biggest complaint. I don’t even care so much that you had them riding skateboards, playing cards, and sporting questionable facial hair. But do you really expect us to believe that pizza would become even more of a staple food in a world where you can’t even get marinara. Pizza with mayonnaise instead of delicious, hearty, wholesome tomato sauce? I’m calling foul sir, I mean, how dare you.

What’s most troubling is that I have to remind myself I’m mad at you. I find myself enjoying it, being sucked down into this unfathomable wasteland you’ve created and forgetting that what you’ve done cannot be allowed.

You’re better than this 90s, yet here we are. You can do better, you can be better. I believe in you. Don’t let us down.

The long running era of the Saturday morning cartoon has officially ended, but no one can stop you from fulfilling your true weekend calling. Cartoons and Saturday mornings were made for each other and no one can tell us otherwise. It is to that end that we maintain vigil, bringing you animated selections each Saturday morning until the internet dies, or until we run out, good thing there’s always reruns.

“Widget, the World Watcher” Created by Peter Keefe; Directed by Tom Burton; Starring Russi Taylor, Jim Cummings, Kath Soucie, and Dana Hill; Run time: 30 minutes; Originally aired September 29, 1990.

“Widget, the World Watcher” introduces us to a group of benevolent aliens known as “watchers” who have tasked themselves with ensuring peaceful coexistence between all life forms.

In the first episode Earth is identified as a planet needing assistance. There is conflict brewing between human beings (known as “earthers” to the watchers) and whales, an apparently intelligent extra-terrestrial species living on Earth. Humans are capturing baby whales and using them for circus attractions. The watchers enlist the help of Widget, a watcher apprentice second class, to prepare a shuttle for the watcher that will go help Earth.

While preparing the shuttle Widget accidentally launches it toward Earth with himself still inside. He crash lands on the coast damaging his ship and leaving him with only a malfunctioning A.I known as Mega Brain for help.

Upon arriving Widget is welcomed by three human children who help him with is mission to intercede on behalf of whales. They borrow a speedboat and meet the whalers head on, sinking their ship and setting the baby whales free.

“Widget, the World Watcher” was one of several cartoons with environmental conservation themes that came out during this time. “Captain Planet and the Planeteers” had debuted only a couple of weeks prior on September 15, 1990, “Toxic Avengers” would hit the small screen less than a year later, and “FernGully: The Last Rainforest” was well into production in anticipation of its 1992 release.

“Widget” is similar to these other titles in that they all focus on saving the world from some ecological disaster, the threatening of a species, air pollution, oil slicks… the overarching theme is that we human beings should handle our fragile world a little more carefully so as to not need the interference of a hive-mind super hero, a pudgy little shape shifting alien, a toxic mutation, or a fairy and Robin Williams to save us from ourselves.

When I was a kid there was a sense that our environment was in trouble and that it was our responsibility to take action. I remember my elementary school class collecting donations from students to purchase rain forest land for preservation, or plant trees. I remember going on field trips to pick up trash, I remember being taught about endangered species and having a real sense that it was a serious problem needing serious action. Recycling was a big deal and something to be proud of, even Pauly Shore got in on the message with “Bio-Dome” which beneath all of its silliness and weasily antics has a message of responsibility to repair the damage cause by us and our predecessors either through ignorance or abuse.

It never felt like I was being preached to, it simply felt like a problem that was obvious, one we were aware of, and one we were preparing to correct, and I think these cartoons had something to do with that awareness.

Somewhere between then and now, even as the problems have escalated, we seem to have lost focus. I’m not suggesting that it’s directly related to the loss of these shows, it’s probably more accurate that they went hand in hand. We lost interest in taking the problem seriously and we lost interest in these types of stories and characters at the same time.

Things aren’t getting any better for our environment, maybe we would benefit if Widget, Crysta, and The Captain would come back.

The long running era of the Saturday morning cartoon has officially ended, but no one can stop you from fulfilling your true weekend calling. Cartoons and Saturday mornings were made for each other and no one can tell us otherwise. It is to that end that we maintain vigil, bringing you animated selections each Saturday morning until the internet dies, or until we run out, good thing there’s always reruns.

“Pirates of Dark Water” (7 out of 10) Created by David Kirschner; George Newbern, Jodi Benson, Earl Boen, Peter Cullen, Jim Cummings, Tim Curry, Hector Elizondo, Brock Peters, and Frank Welker; Run time: 22 minutes; Originally aired February 25, 1991.

A dark substance known as dark water threatens to destroy the alien world of Mer. During a storm, a young man called Ren saves the life of an old man when his boat is dashed violently against the rocks. In the last moments of the old man’s life Ren is given an enchanted compass that will point the way to thirteen treasures.

Upon returning to his home within a lighthouse, Ren’s adopted mother confesses to Ren that the old man was Ren’s true father Primus, the once great king of Mer. Ren is given the broken remnants of his father’s sword. Equipped with the sword and the compass Ren leaves home and is kidnapped by Niddler, a flying monkey-bird mutant and taken to the evil pirate Bloth who is also in search of the thirteen treasure of Rule.

Bloth threatens to kill Niddler for bringing the boy in place of the king but Niddler narrowly escapes. Ren and Niddler form an alliance based on their mutual enemy Bloth and go in search of the treasure. After they escape together they visit a cave inhabited by a sentient dragon Alamar who gives Ren information that will help him on his quest.

Ren and Niddler make a deal with the pirate Loz to split their spoils fifty/fifty in exchange for use of his ship and navigation skills.

Unbeknownst to Ren and Niddler they board a stolen ship and leave port following the compass toward the first treasure of rule. Along the way they discover a stowaway, Tula, who uses her knowledge of sailing to help them escape certain destruction at the hands of the landscape and the pursuing pirate Bloth.

“Pirates of Dark Water” has mutant creatures, evil pirates, mystical treasures, and magical destruction threatening all life. It’s “Treasure Planet” meets “The NeverEnding Story.”

Unlike many cartoons from the same era that concentrated on merchandizing in place of quality storytelling, “Pirates of Dark Water” cares about content and world building, offering a story of interest both to kids and adults. Unfortunately it was cancelled after only twenty-one episodes without ever completing Ren’s quest to find the thirteen treasures of rule and save the Mer from the encroaching dark water.

In this world of reboots, remakes, and continuations, “Pirates of Dark Water” would be perfect for a modernized return. Unfortunately, it’s fantasy elements make it more difficult to market in the toy aisle and it isn’t a recognizable existing franchise, so we’ll probably never seen it. Which is really too bad, there was something worthwhile here and it never had a chance to see itself through. 

“ReBoot” 1.1 – The Tearing (7 out of 10)  – Directed by Dick Zondag; Written by Gavin Blair, John Grace, Philip Mitchel, and Ian Pearson; Starring: Michael Benyaer, Kathleen Barr, Jesse Moss, Tony Jay, Michael Donovan, Philip Maurice Hayes, and Gary Chalk; Originally aired: September 10, 1994.

“ReBoot” was a Canadian series created by Mainframe Entertainment that took place inside a computer mainframe, Think “Tron” but watered down. The series centers around Bob, a Guardian and protector of Mainframe, and his friends Dot Matrix, diner owner, and her little brother Enzo who looks up to Bob as a grand hero.

The series had to fight to get a place on the small screen. The nature of its animation meant that the work was slow going, most of the creative team had to learn how to animate with new software as they went along. The show was in production for three years before it aired in order to ensure there were enough episodes backlogged to keep the show going.

The central plot of the series is the continual struggle between Bob and the villain Megabyte, a virus that has infected Mainframe and wants to get into the super computer to infect the entire system.

In addition, the story is often interrupted when “the user” inputs games in which the residents of Mainframe participate. Bob’s other concern aside from protecting the city from Megabyte, is to discover the true nature of the user and protect his friends from the destruction left behind when they lose a game.

The pilot episode introduces the three central protagonists as well as Megabyte and his two cronies Hack and Slash. Megabyte has discovered a tear in the programming that, if stabilized, would allow him unfettered access to the super computer. When the user inputs a game the tear stabilizes into a portal and Bob, along with Dot, race to stop Megabyte from getting through.

My initial rating for the episode and the series was a six out of ten but it earned an additional star for being the first fully computer animated television series and pushing the boundaries of animation.

Though the animation is clunky and some of inserted computer terminology feels forced, the series has heart and hit a chord with nineties viewers who were also just entering an increasingly digital world. As such “Reboot” earned its place in the history of cartoons for being pioneers of an emerging medium. 

Say Neverbot, what do you want to do this morning? Thanks for asking everyone, let me tell you. The same thing we do every Saturday morning, watch cartoons and attempt to hold on to a small piece of our ever receding childhoods as we march unwillingly and relentlessly toward oblivion. Oh my god, is that another gray hair? I look more and more like Gandalf every day I swear to The Valar. You know what… let’s just start the episode.

“Pinky and the Brain” Episode 1.1 “Das Mouse” (8 out of 10). Created by Tom Ruegger; Starring Marice LaMarche and Rob Paulsen; Written by Peter Hastings; Directed by Liz Holzman and Al Zegler.

“Pinky and the Brain” was the result of a collaboration between Steven Spielberg and Warner Bros. The characters were born in the related series “The Animaniacs” and their popularity spurred their own spin-off. “Pinky and the Brain” ran from 1995 to 1999, the last two years being in conjunction with another spin-off “Pinky, Elmyra & the Brain.” More importantly, the series introduced the word “narf” and the phrase “Are you pondering what I’m pondering?” to the lexicon. There are few greater contributions from the world of animation.

Each episode follows essentially the same formula, with a few exceptions, wherein Brain hatches a complex plan to gain control over the world and Pinky tries, and fails, to help. The two titular characters are genetically modified, as the lyrics to the theme song point out “Their genes have been spliced” as well as “One is a genius, the other’s insane.” There has been some debate on the internets that the song doesn’t explicitly state which one is a genius and which one is insane. There is some speculation that in fact Pinky might be the genius, brilliantly thwarting the nefarious plans of the criminally insane Brain. Most fans of the show however accept the more obvious implication that it’s the other way around, though personally I like the genius Pinky hypothesis, it makes the show more interesting.

In this particular episode Brain plans to enslave a large portion of the human population by mixing the hypnotic toxins of a frog with the rare meat of crabs that inhabit the sunken Titanic and feeding it to them. Pinky suggests a free pancake jamboree. I don’t know about you but Brain’s plan sounds pretty crazy to me, and Pinky’s idea is absolutely brilliant, pancakes are delicious.

The pair have access to the toxic frog here in the lab but in order to get the rare crab meat they have to commandeer a submarine and raise the world’s most famous ship wreck. There are only two problems, a tracking signal on the sub and the locked steering wheel making it impossible for them to maneuver in any direction other than right. Pinky is told to change the tracking signal randomly while Brain plots a spiraling course toward the Titanic. Pinky’s choice of the code NARF gathers the attention of the CIA and civilian Jack McGuire who are on the alert for a fabled cold war mission known as the Nuclear Attack Readiness Formation.

While the CIA begin their misguided chase toward Pinky and Brain in their stolen submarine, Brain attempts and fails to hide the taste of the toxins in the pancake batter. Pinky offers his services and Brain accepts. Sadly Pinky also struggles to hide the taste of the toxins and approaches Brain for help, but Brain being too busy with the rest of his plan emphatically asks Pinky to cut it out, and leave him alone.

Despite the best efforts of McGuire and his CIA escort, the two mice escape their grasp and reach the wreckage on the ocean floor. Using a large inflatable, they raise the wreckage, and by popping the balloon they propel it toward the city stopping just short of their home at ACME Labs. With the final ingredient in hand, Pinky makes the pancakes and more than 10,000 people show up including McGuire and the CIA escort.

When Brain asks how Pinky was able to hide the bitter tastes he says “I did like you said Brain and cut it out.” In the end, like always, Brain’s plan for world domination failed and humanity is safe, at least until tomorrow night.

Happy November everyone. Today is November first and for me that means the beginning of NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) so I should be writing a book right now, instead I’m watching cartoons. I make the big sacrifices for you guys. Last week we watched three horror short films in honor of Halloween, this week we’re going to keep the tone but bring it down so as to not cause trauma to any little ones that may be around. Feed me, you bunch of Seymours!

“Little Shop” Episode 1.1 – Bad Seed (5 out of 10) – Produced by Marvel Productions, Saban, La Cinq and Concorde – New Horizons; Starring Jana Lexxa, Jennie Kwan, Michael Rawl, and Terry McGee; Originally aired September 7, 1991.

“Little Shop” is based on the Broadway musical, and subsequent live action movie “Little Shop of Horrors” starring Rick Moranis and Steve Martin, both of which are based on a 1961 film of the same name. My first introduction to this universe was when I was probably ten years old. My Dad had the original Roger Corman flick in his collection of VHS tapes. I used to lay out in the living room and watch it while I went to sleep. Later I came across the Rick Moranis musical version; at first I didn’t like it. It changed the tone of the story too much for my taste, I was used to the black and white flick that scared me a little when I was younger, this lighter version had lost what was special about the story. However, as time passed I learned to appreciate what the musical had to offer, eventually I came to love the later version. This cartoon is based on that but unfortunately it just doesn’t have the same hook.

Though there are still songs, much else has changed as the story that once made me afraid of the garden has been watered down both by songs and then by the adaptation to children’s television. Essentially it became a poorly made moderately written Disney flick. The show isn’t bad necessarily, it just isn’t that good. In this iteration Seymour and Audrey are children, Seymour works at the flower shop owned by Audrey’s father Mr. Mushnik. One day while on his way home from school, Seymour encounters a bully who throws him in a dumpster, he is then picked up by a garbage truck and taken to the dump where he finds a seed in the ground.

Seymour takes the seed back to Mushnik’s flower shop and plants it, the plant quickly begins to thrive and soon reveals itself to be a sentient 200 million year old dormant plant. Seymour names the plant Junior and the plant continues to grow, hiding its true nature from everyone but Seymour.

Junior, called Audrey Junior and Audrey II in the previous films, doesn’t want to eat people, he just wants to go home, in addition to Juniors obvious intelligence and awareness it is also revealed that the plant can infuse its own seeds with an idea and plant them in the mind of a human being ultimately brain washing them for a short time. When Seymour and Junior make it back to his previous home they find that the forest where he once lived has since been petrified by the machinations of time and Seymour agrees to return to the store and stay with Seymour.

Junior is horrified when he soon learns that humans consume plants and vows his revenge, though his attempts to militarize the flowers in Mr. Mushnik’s store are….. ahem… fruitless.

When I started to watch it I noticed that something bothered me, it felt familiar somehow but not quite right, then it hit me. This show is basically “Peanuts,” the animation looks similar and you could replace Seymour with Charlie Brown and not notice a difference accept maybe the shape of the head. So there you have it, the unlikely friendship of the loneliest kid you know and a sentient plant sort of hell bent on destroying humanity. It isn’t the greatest, but at least it’s not “The Legend of Zelda.”

One last thing, as an added bonus this episode still contains the original commercials played along with the show. Seeing the commercials was like finding a prize in your cereal when you didn’t expect one, an awesome piece of nostalgia to help cement the experience. You could skip them but I wouldn’t recommend it. 

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

COUNT DUCKULA, Episode 1 “No Sax Please: We’re Egyptian” (8 out of 10) – Directed by Chris Randall; Written by Brian Trueman; Starring David Jason, Jack May, Brian Trueman, and Barry Clayton. Originally aired September 6, 1988.

This week Saturday Morning Cartoon! presents “Count Duckula,” a British series which first aired in 1988. The story follows the latest incarnation of a centuries old vampire duck, his butler Igor, and his nanny, a bumbling wrecking ball of a woman appropriately called Nanny. The Count must be reincarnated once each century through an ancient ritual which ends with an offering of blood, the life sustaining substance of all vampires. However, during the last ceremony, Nanny accidentally substituted ketchup, resulting in a less bloodthirsty vegetarian vampire who spends his evenings on the hunt… for carrots.

Igor is unsettled at the lack of viciousness in his new master and tries, unsuccessfully, to push the Count toward what Igor considers the noble pursuits of his previous incarnations, despite his complete lack of interest. What the Count is interested in is a way to achieve fame and wealth which he pursues by way of a unique property of Castle Duckula, namely its ability to travel through space and time. It’s basically Ducktor Who accept the castle is exactly as big on the inside as it appears on the outside.

In the pilot episode the Count takes the castle to ancient Egypt in pursuit of an enchanted saxophone that gives the player the power over life and death (redundant for a vampire) and dominion over all the powers of the universe (useful for anyone). When the castle transports it takes along with it, the Count, Igor, Nanny, and four burgling crows with socks on their faces who also want to get their hands on this mystical instrument.

When they arrive at the pyramid they all enter and through a series of fortunate events, all attempts by the burglars to retrieve the saxophone or to harm the Count and his entourage are foiled accidentally causing the crows to fall a great height to presumably great injury, at least half a dozen times. A feat even more impressive when you consider that they should be able to fly.

There are puns galore, a bit reminiscent of “Who’s on first” involving two pyramid guards who serve the god Ra, called Humite and Ubi. All in all, it was one of the most fun cartoons I’ve stumbled upon in a long time. Excuse me while I start the next episode.

For this episode I recommend a bowl of Count Chocula, because… obviously.

Cheers.